Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

That pipe tool one was hilarious.
Should I guy's restaurant is closed
Kobes's latest videos:

Short video. Showing off his anti- rape shirt. Shills his Teespring. Got tactical soap. Fuck rape.

Short video. Talking about people killing themselves over cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is harder to track than irl bullying because of technology. Breaks kobes heart to see a mother on the news whose kid killed themselves because of cyber bullying. Can't ignore cyber bullying. Getting off social media doesn't always work. Talks about people arguing about trucks in YouTube comments and then finding your address and harassing you irl. Kobes is not the only person Getting cyber bullied. Its messed up man

Start:
Got his rent paid. Shout out to Sydney Watson. Shills his new shirt. Smoking a corn cobra pipe. Fuck the trolls. Gender relations. Shills his shirt again.
2:16:
Starts Sydney Watson video. Racism bad. Taking a break from booze. Back to the video.
5:04:
Can't point out bad things women do because you get called sexist but double standards because not all men. Shills new t-shirt. Men don't report rape as much as women do because it's de-masculating. #killallmen. Not answering the phone. Be nice to each other. Back to the video.
7:56:
Men are primordially programmed to protect women. Women should carry tasers and pepper spray for their protection. Agrees with Sydney Watson.
10:28:
Both sides! Female serial killer Irene Warren. Feminism.
13:18:
Talking about love and vanity.
14:05:
People suck I need a beer. What if the genders were reversed. Both sides! Back to the video for 2 seconds. Single moms abusing the system. Not all single moms. Back tot he video.
16:44:
Can't generalise with women so shouldn't be allowed to generalise with Men. Back to the video.
18:00:
If women had to face Gender stereotypes it would be a different conversation. Back to the video.
19:20:
Brain malfunction. Back to the video.
22:09:
Aspects of toxic masculinity. Confused. Toxic feminity. Back to the video. Men have been taught to objectify women is a stereotype. Not if they were raised in a good household. Mumbles something. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Confused.
26:00:
Men don't benefit from this crap. Fuck rape. Kobes is sick of it YouTube. Back to the video.
29:00:
Women should be held to the same accountability as men for gender equality. Back to the video.
30:50:
Kobes says more research needed to prove women are better than men. Results inconclusive. Back to the video.
32:37:
Rape and abuse bad. Back to the video.
36:15:
Imagine being a woman and being afraid of walking alone at night. Kobes is feeling uncomfortable from the truths in the video. Back to the video. Kobes mind blown that women in Australia can't have tasers or pepper spray.
39:15:
Reads what's written on the screen. Leaves.
40:41:
Returns. World sucks I need a beer. That's why trolls don't get to him anymore. Kobes is tired of the you need to get laid culture YouTube. Back to the video.
46:44:
Society is depressing. Kobes tries not to dwell on it. It's why he's not pushed about ending his dry spell. Shills his new shirt. Ends stream

Start:
Jokes about paying bills. Leaves to get more water while still telling jokes about bills.
2:13:
Automated customer representatives
4:22:
Plan for the day is to make Patreon videos
4:56:
Automated machine jokes

Short video. Was watching George Bruno on streamyard and was star struck because he is the reason Kobes started using tactical soap. Doesn't matter if he's Christian. Shows off a wand he's in the process of making. Shows off a wand he made already. Made a wand for Deathbed Tapes. Shills tactical soap. George Bruno has lots of subscribers. Going to shower and hang out with friends.
 
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Lets put our thinking caps on, Cobra, for all his drinking, is an immense lightweight, and drinks to overconsumption every time without fail. Is he getting DTs, or is he just fucking sperging, because i'm sitting on the fence for this one, for one, he doesn't drink nearly as much as a hardcore alcoholic, but on the other hand, he's such a lightweight that proportionally he may as well be.
 
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'Ol Stinky said:
Lets put our thinking caps on, Cobra, for all his drinking, is an immense lightweight, and drinks to overconsumption every time without fail. Is he getting DTs, or is he just fucking sperging, because i'm sitting on the fence for this one, for one, he doesn't drink nearly as much as a hardcore alcoholic, but on the other hand, he's such a lightweight that proportionally he may as well be.
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He's almost certainly been on spice pretty routinely at this point, it stands to reason he's getting particularly shitty batches that are giving him those mannerisms more frequently. Though he is what most normies would consider "an alcoholic", like you said the fact that he can't handle anything harder than a cider without dumping candy and soda into it makes me think he's unlikely to be suffering any effects that extreme just yet. Like he angrily screams, he can "function without alcohol", so that doesn't seem to be the case.

I do believe that Warlord has given him a little something extra time and again, though.
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
He's almost certainly been on spice pretty routinely at this point, it stands to reason he's getting particularly shitty batches that are giving him those mannerisms more frequently. Though he is what most normies would consider "an alcoholic", like you said the fact that he can't handle anything harder than a cider without dumping candy and soda into it makes me think he's unlikely to be suffering any effects that extreme just yet. Like he angrily screams, he can "function without alcohol", so that doesn't seem to be the case.

I do believe that Warlord has given him a little something extra time and again, though.
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I was convinced he was off the spice till all these little ticks started happening. It's tinfoil, but possibly he's so afraid of the fact that pot isn't legal and spice is in a grey area, so he makes the assumption that it's better or worth it in some way... Anyone i've known irl that's done that shit has only had horror stories.
 
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'Ol Stinky said:
I was convinced he was off the spice till all these little ticks started happening. It's tinfoil, but possibly he's so afraid of the fact that pot isn't legal and spice is in a grey area, so he makes the assumption that it's better or worth it in some way... Anyone i've known irl that's done that shit has only had horror stories.
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Now all this said, Warlord, seemingly one of his few remaining friends left now, is a drug addict proper. Though I doubt the two of them are smoking meth off screen, I don't necessarily think it out of the realm of possibility they're indulging in whatever they can get their clammy hands on at any given time. People forget that his entire social circle is either drug dealers or drug users, I've never put it past the Sexy Bad Bout to partake if offered. He hasn't thus far because of his limited and fairly controlled income.

I've never bought his "he's afraid of the law" thing that other people argue when they say he's not dabbling. Cobes makes declarative statements to the effect of what he thinks he's supposed to say to keep suspicion off himself ("of age", "FUCK rape!", etc etc). If Homeboy Campbell wandered over with a handful of whatever, I don't put it past Jord to sample.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
BCV posted an edit of Kobes appearance ton the tactical soap guys stream.
View attachment 2058168
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I did an actual belly laugh when he said that he made wands for a living and the guy that was driving took his sunglasses off and tried to see what the fuck he was talking about.
 
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Dick Pooman said:
I did an actual belly laugh when he said that he made wands for a living and the guy that was driving took his sunglasses off and tried to see what the fuck he was talking about.
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It's funny to see regular people interact with him but I also thought it was adorable that he was trying to impress the tactical soap dude. I imagine if he ever met Ozzy it would be similar
 
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Wow, a Josh Saunders x George Bruno crossover episode was not something I ever expected to emerge from my distant youtube-viewing past. Hit me right in the feels. I didn't even know about the GB tactical soap connection
 
'Ol Stinky said:
Lets put our thinking caps on, Cobra, for all his drinking, is an immense lightweight, and drinks to overconsumption every time without fail. Is he getting DTs, or is he just fucking sperging, because i'm sitting on the fence for this one, for one, he doesn't drink nearly as much as a hardcore alcoholic, but on the other hand, he's such a lightweight that proportionally he may as well be.
Click to expand...
Been thinking about this and it's a real brain teaser imo. I doubt that he can drink to the point of getting actual DTs, but prolonged continuous drinking along with poor diet will give you wet brain, ie Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome from lack of thiamine.

Also, apparently facial surgeries like lazy eye corrections can cause facial spasms as a somewhat rare side effect. Here's a link to a study on that.

I doubt we'll ever know for certain but I feel like spice has a larger impact than his alcohol use.

happy Easter everyone
 
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wanddumpster said:
Been thinking about this and it's a real brain teaser imo. I doubt that he can drink to the point of getting actual DTs, but prolonged continuous drinking along with poor diet will give you wet brain, ie Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome from lack of thiamine.
Click to expand...
He survives mainly on a diet of eggs, beef, and pork brains, so I think we can rule out the thiamine deficiency.
 
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Here's Kobes' streams from yesterday:
:
Start:
Easter bunny gave Kobes a bud light platinum. Friend zone is good. Women will approach you more if you have friends who are girls.
3:00:
People who ask why they should take advice from Kobes when he hasn't had sex in 3 years are asking the wrong questions. It's about companionship. Intimacy can exist even if you can't have sex.
5:25:
After a 3 year dry spell you can appreciate any female company. Kobes says a fan wants to meet up with him to take a photo later. Talks about how tactical soap changed his life.
8:16:
When you find a member if the opposite sex you find attractive don't rush it.
11:27:
Bud light platinum has a pretty blue bottle.
12:02:
Not nice when your crush doesn't like you back but it's a cycle because they will also experience liking someone who doesn't like them back.
13:50:
Society forces sex down our throats. Mixed messages from society. Using sexy models in advertising.
16:40:
Kobes likes axe but prefers tactical soap. Women put on perfume to smell sexy for men. Very easy to turn a man on. Women don't need pheromone perfume. Tactical soap.
19:37:
Double standards in pheromone soap for different genders. Cook together so neither person in the relationship is blamed if the food turns out bad. Both genders!
22:37:
Kobes never calls a woman a butch unless she deserves it. Fuck rapists. It's awesome kobes hates rape but his shirt is cringe, no its not. Movements such as mgtow are stupid.
25:03:
Dating scene sucks I need a beer. When you like a girl and she doesn't like you back and she is rejected by the guy she likes.
26:25:
Kobes is concentrating on building his YouTube and his wand business. Talks about the wands he's working on using shotgun shells. People like shot gun shell wands. Shooting videos. Women in Wyoming like trucks and guns, don't be sexist.

Start:
Making a wand for etsy. Drinking monster and jack Daniels. He calls this drink combination king cobras venom. Met up with a fan who gave him a bottle of jack Daniels in exchange for a selfie. Kobes appreciates that the fan showed up.
3:37:
Shills his fuck rape shirt. He's going to change his shirt soon because this one is dirty. Ozzy knuckles. Won't bitch because he's 30 because Ozzy is much older than him.
6:45:
Happy Easter. Kobes is going to make the wand he's working on black and white. Got a text from a fan asking for a selfie in exchange for a bottle of jack. Kobes is chill with meeting his fans, no booze necessary but booze is greatly appreciated.
9:37:
Shills Tee spring. Gave his fan a bar of tactical soap. Might do some vocal covers. Talking about how good he is at singing.
11:22:
Poot
12:27:
Getting offended by WAP is sexist. Double standards is rap music. Lil Nas satanic shoes. Kobes thinks they're metal as shit. However kobes can't justify paying that much for shoes and buys his steel toe shoes at Walmart. Satanism. Moses was magic. Bible was misinterpreted. Jesus and Satan were brothers. Kobes chillin with Satan.
17:45:
Blood of christ turned to wine so that's vampires and alcoholics.
18:54:
Talks about going on George Bruno's stream and discovering tactical soap. Ozzy concert.
20:44:
Kobes trying not to upset himself thinking about when Ozzy dies.
21:35:
Kobes is pleased with how love and vanity turned out. Talks about making the album.
22:53:
Talks about sending Ozzy a wand. Face spaz. Will be using his po box address for his wands now. Made Danny Filth a wand. Wishes he had made it from wood. His wand making skills have improved. Talking about the wands he's making now.
27:00:
Thanks for tuning in to watch him drink. Explains the origins of the Easter bunny. Shills PayPal. Shills merch. Shills anti rape shirt.
28:42:
Says when he was wearing the shirt in price a person was like shit no way. Nxt cigarettes plus PSA.
30:44:
Says his drink combination is like a Jager bomb.
31:43:
Says he can sing Michael Jackson. Fuck pedos. Says he's going to do some Metallica covers. Fuck rape fuck suicide.
33:00:
Kobes had a horse called socks when he was a kid but socks got old and had to be put down. Sucks that happens with pets. Wyoming tradition for kids to ride horses. Kobes rode bareback and used to make friends with the meanest horses in the barn because he's so good with animals. Chicks dig guys that are good with animals.
36:37:
Tee spring wouldn't let him call his fuck rape shirt a fuck rape shirt. Kobes hates rape. Kobes would rather save up for a gothic sex doll instead of rape. Buy a sex doll. Nothing substitutes the real thing. Kobes can make women star struck because he's a famous youtuber.
40:28:
Ozzy is Kobe's idol. Talks about his Ozzy knuckles and people saying Summer was a bad tattoo artist. Says Summer avoids the subject when he tried to ask if she was still doing tattoos. Wands. Finishes his drink.
44:00:
Spray paints wands outside. Kobes has learned from his previous mistakes. Drink combination explanations.
46:29:
Can crush for the fans.
47:40:
Doesn't care about going bald.
49:00:
More Jack Daniels and monster. The county that Jack Daniels is made in is dry. Mind blown. Struggles to drink.
51:43:
Sneeze and spits all over his goatee. Struggling to drink.
53:44:
Pours the rest of the monster into the Jack Daniels bottle.
55:24:
Family guy impressions. Going to play clocktower of terror tomorrow.
56:50:
Vocal cover Metallica Unforgiven. Not yet. Going to make a copyright strike t shirt. This is one of his favourite Metallica songs. Feels like a cowboy listening to this song. Doesn't claim to be a cowboy but he's got ranchers in his family. He keeps stopping the song!
1:01:24:
Joking about how he keeps putting off the vocal cover. Put some alcohol away for later. Says he's starting to feel obnoxious.
1:04:02:
Waiting patiently to end his dry spell. Very drunk now. Drink combination explanations.
1:07:38:
Says homedad Clint says he makes awesome drink combinations. 2 seconds of song and back to talking about his drink combination.
1:11:22:
Vocal cover finally!
1:12:37:
Stops the song again to drink. Very drunk.
1:13:43:
Back to the vocal cover.
1:15:03:
Stops the song again to drink
1:15:52:
Song for 2 seconds and Stops it again to drink. Song back on. Mumbling stuff.
1:17:22:
Back to Vocal cover.
1:18:22:
Stops again to drink. He's drunk enough for the evening. Back to the vocal cover. 19 minutes to do a vocal cover TMDWU
1:19:53:
Fuck suicide. Death is like a girlfriend, it's worth the wait. Speaking from personal experie- smoke break.
1:21:41:
Starts nothing else matters.
1:22:29:
Kobes sexy singing voice, subscribe for more.
1:23:00:
Vocal cover Metallica nothing else matters
1:24:39:
Drops his smoke. Says a prayer to luckier. Back to the vocal cover.

Here's some more 2016 archives and BCV summaries:
Rockstar lime freeze review 2016-03-13
A rare video outside of Wendys while Josh is working where he reviews a Rockstar energy drink next to his bike |

I created another death match on GTA 5 online 2016-03-13
Josh made a new GTA online death match | 3:20 one of Josh's co-workers gave Josh the energy drink before he started his 11-2 shifty at Wendys | 4:22 Josh had an awesome day at work | 4:50 Josh's ponytail holder snapped on the way to work and his hair smacked him in the face | 12:44 a troll makes fun of his hair and talks about Bailey |

Whats new on my channle 2016-03-14
People are pretending to be Dani Filth in Josh's YouTube comments | Josh shows how to do cheats on GTA 5 with his controller | 9:32 a youtuber by the name Robert Cunnilingus so Josh googles the meaning of cunnilingus and banned him for pretending to be the CEO of talent relations for Dani Filth | 14:40 Josh is thinking of giving up on becoming a Rockstar | 16:44 Josh is sick of his friends telling him to get laid but he feels he's borderline a-sexual | 19:10 Josh thinks he will meet Bailey when the time is right, people keep telling him to move on because it's been FOUR months but he won't | 23:10 Josh has had his heart ripped out by bitches | 25:20 Josh thought he would never have sex when he was in high-school, he has a gift after fucking five girls good | 26:58 Josh shows his trikateria | 30:39 Josh tries to use his chi to light his pipe | 31:59 Josh talks about having the cyst removed from his tailbone | 34:31 Josh doesn't want Bailey to get the wrong impression after seeing one of his videos |

Vocal covers 2016-03-14
Someone on Josh's Facebook has asked him to do a vocal cover video | 12:00 Josh's tailbone is acting up and said he needs to go see a doctor | 21:10 Josh involves his dad into a song about dads | 21:38 Josh recalls a memory from high school where he ditched PE class and saw two cute girls and gave him his first kiss | 23:00 Josh wanted to go tell him the good news but his dad shouted at him for smoking | 23:50 Josh says he smokes because he was smoking when he got his first kiss and after he had sex with Stephanie |

Taco Johns Potato Oles review 2016-03-15
Josh eats food but doesn't say anything. Excellent review

Why Donald Trump would make a bad president 2016-03-15
Josh talks about people protesting Trump | Josh thinks Trump is a corporate snob | Josh watches a Young Turks video about Trump

Uber Monster review 2016-03-16
Josh bought some ponytail holders because Wendys requires he wears them | Josh hypes up the drink combo for St Paddys day

Working on my 7th album 2016-03-17
Sadly no drink combos, he just drinks Baileys but Josh previews a song from his new album | josh plays guitar
Edit format I don't know how to get rid of the shit at the end
 
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wanddumpster said:
Been thinking about this and it's a real brain teaser imo. I doubt that he can drink to the point of getting actual DTs, but prolonged continuous drinking along with poor diet will give you wet brain, ie Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome from lack of thiamine.
Click to expand...
You dont get shakes and shit like kindling unless youre drinking heavily and regularly enough to be the type of person who has seizures if they just quit cold turkey. Like over a fifth a day every day without fail for 4-6 months but this dude isnt drinking shit stronger than like Fireball and drinks maybe a pint or two at a time.

He also doesnt seem to be the type of person to be a functional alcoholic so I dont think he could progress to that point where he's hid it well enough for so long that that comes up, either.
 
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DuckSucker said:
You dont get shakes and shit like kindling unless youre drinking heavily and regularly enough to be the type of person who has seizures if they just quit cold turkey. Like over a fifth a day every day without fail for 4-6 months but this dude isnt drinking shit stronger than like Fireball and drinks maybe a pint or two at a time.

He also doesnt seem to be the type of person to be a functional alcoholic so I dont think he could progress to that point where he's hid it well enough for so long that that comes up, either.
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Cobra seems like such a lightweight that he'd get fucked up on much less alcohol than it'd take to really "become an alcoholic". He obviously prefers living with a buzz and will function... "normally" when not.

I think it's more of a case of realizes what a loser he is and it's embarrassing when sober, so he stays drunk. And that's still an "alcohol problem", but I don't see him dropping like Amy Winehouse any time soon. I think his biggest non-liver damage (which'll take a bit longer to knock him out) issue with the dranks atm is him eventually gaining enough liquid courage and the unfortunate timing of an angry, hillbilly neighbor demanding he quite the fuck down and having an agitated, boozed up chimp boy attacking him and getting pummeled by someone who's likely not going to be particularly sympathetic that he's a retard and really let him have it.
 
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