Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[I_R_Octopus]

Look a sad cobes is a dull cobes let him have something even for a little while he gets smug an the content flows, he's already regretting this and it's natural fallout is going to be amazing.

Agreed, it's gonna be awe inspiring I don't wanna miss it, but I think if he had an ounce of self reflection it'd be that much funnier.

Imagine if he told Clint about this sexual conquest and realizing he's a horned up retard that possibly knocked up this swamp donkey... bogbabies coming in nicely toobz

 

[Slim Boglim]

No just been watching this guy on YouTube for awhile now and want to see his happiness go away, I mean, look how full of himself he was as soon as he got his nut to now... I just can't wait for the climax to this shit show.


I'm genuinely curious what he'd do if he lost "everything": the apartment, the channel, the subscribers he has. gained over the years.

Would he drink himself to death? Get sent to a group home and be forced to do better for himself? Like, what's his rock bottom and that'll come next?

At least his dry spell is over, reset that clock everybody.

You’re barking up the wrong tree bud pretty much nobody wants misfortune to befall on Cobes here. You’re better off sticking to the subreddit, which is probably where you usually post. You either have done next to zero lurking in the thread to get the sentiment here or you have lurked the thread and are trying to troll and see if you can get people worked up by being a contrarian to the general sentiment.

Anyway tl;dr: if you’re earnestly posting, lurk more and be less of a weirdo a-log. If you’re trolling it’s a waste of time since we’ll just dismiss you by calling you a retard and moving on lol

 

[I_R_Octopus]

You’re barking up the wrong tree bud pretty much nobody wants misfortune to befall on Cobes here. You’re better off sticking to the subreddit, which is probably where you usually post. You either have done next to zero lurking in the thread to get the sentiment here or you have lurked the thread and are trying to troll and see if you can get people worked up by being a contrarian to the general sentiment.

Anyway tl;dr: if you’re earnestly posting, lurk more and be less of a weirdo a-log. If you’re trolling it’s a waste of time since we’ll just dismiss you by calling you a retard and moving on lol

Good bad or otherwise I know this will be another no skin off my shoes situation for Cobra.

Never been on the subreddit, don't give enough of a shit to a-log. Plus josh will never run out of milk no matter what me or anyone else wants for him.

I should've labeled the happiness go away comment as a deadpan joke, but just look at the last couple hours, he's over her already, 6 year dry spell over but his joy is gone.

I think this venture is different and the consequences might be more than what he could imagine, this isn't Gothie who never got to fuck josh, and it's not Stephanie who just left him. This bitch might legit do some kind of damage if what I've been reading about Jessica is to be believed.

 

[TheLastFrogger]

I'm really hoping Cobra doesn't get done in by this crack whore and figures a way to get her out. Hopefully he's learned his lesson from this.

 

[Catboy Ranch Dressing]

I should've labeled the happiness go away comment as a deadpan joke

Also, idk which I'd want to see more, cobes lose his channel, cobes get stabbed, or cobes get arrested for DV.

I'm genuinely curious what he'd do if he lost "everything": the apartment, the channel, the subscribers he has. gained over the years.

Would he drink himself to death? Get sent to a group home and be forced to do better for himself? Like, what's his rock bottom and that'll come next?

So wishing he gets stabbed or drinks himself to death while penniless, homeless, and with no audience were also just "deadpan jokes"? Comedic gold, right there. Reddit gold, even.

 

[Winter]

too many words

Yes, Methica is a retarded crackwhore, we know

 

[Catboy Ranch Dressing]

Tried to look up Jessica's background

AFAIK she's an ex-Chantal a-log. So she shares common ancestry with our Glorious Feeder, pizza be upon Him.

 

[I_R_Octopus]

So wishing he gets stabbed or drinks himself to death while penniless, homeless, and with no audience were also just "deadpan jokes"? Comedic gold, right there. Reddit gold, even.

Not jokes, Didn't wish for those things to happen, just seems like a possibility given who he decided to stick his dick in.

Which would you rather happen when there's no room for improvement on his end since he's now the CONFIRMED Gothic bad boy with fan girls that'll fly out to fuck him. Take that trollz.

He was on top of the world, until he had that post bog clarity and we can see the "I'm over this" all over his face.

I Don't use reddit, i don't know what that last part means.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

So wishing he gets stabbed or drinks himself to death while penniless, homeless, and with no audience were also just "deadpan jokes"? Comedic gold, right there. Reddit gold, even.

The Edgar Allan Poe Death

that's goth as fuck toobz

 

[Slim Boglim]

Didn't wish for those things to happen,

idk which I'd want to see more, cobes lose his channel, cobes get stabbed, or cobes get arrested for DV.

???

 

[I_R_Octopus]

???

Yeah, out of those options which would you prefer, no matter your answer, its not wishing they happen, just acknowledging these as possibilities.

 

[Two Yum Yums]

Yeah, out of those options which would you prefer, no matter your answer, its not wishing they happen, just acknowledging these as possibilities.

Please can you stop shitting up the thread, fucking hell.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Yeah, out of those options which would you prefer, no matter your answer, its not wishing they happen, just acknowledging these as possibilities.

That’s not what you wrote. “idk which I’d want to see more” implies you want to see all options equally and you’re indecisive over which one you prefer. You’re just trying to reframe it because people didn’t agree and you want to save face

 

[Rotogravure]

It's like if Salo, Human Centipede 3, and Eraserhead had a deformed retarded FAS baby in the dumpster behind Gummo's Chinese restaurant.

"Smells like wetback DICK!".

Has strands of Hostel running through it to. Only Hostel was more hopeful, less depressing, and more realistic.

Dude, let's get the highlights, the tldr, the tea, the juice, the electric boogaloo.

We'd like to know about her most recent love interest and how the timeline with meeting Josh lines up with his incarceration.

So, at this time, NAL -- whom we lovingly refer to as NALERIE -- was not beloved by all BP yet. A large portion of BP (rightfully so) hates FTW, and wasn't watching when he was around. I was one of them. So, someone else will correct me if I am wrong but NAL's love for Cobes started within a week or a mere weekend of FTW's arrest. It was quick.

Anything funny/relevant would also be great ppreciated.

Like... whats the deal with her. Seems like a super niche cow but has her own retinue of dedicated haters.

I wish we knew definitively. BPD and/or Schizophrenia seem to be our biggest guesses along with copious alcohol and weed abuse. If she did other drugs in the past, she doesn't now. It's fairly clear from her streams. Like I said before, and others have pointed out. NAL is extremely, desperately lonely and only wants someone to "love" her and "claim" her.

It's bizarre because she seemed fairly "with it" not too long ago. For example. Here is a photo of her at her last known job, Home Depot on Halloween 2017.

EDIT: I need to point out that though she seemed "with it" her Livejournal (link I don't have handy atm) still was full of WOE IS ME Bullshit that she spews now, including a (date might be wrong) 2004 post about wanting to poison her mom. So very on brand for 2024 NAL. She just looked a little more with it, perhaps.



Sure, she was never a looker. But, the decline has been impressive. Here she is in 2012.



And here, from a position she had at a historic hotel in 2008. Please note the front teeth. If you notice now, they appear to be missing two chips on both, forming a missing triangle on the front. Personally, I would love to know what happened there.

I know she was fucking around with/accusing sJam. What kind of other foul shit does she get up to?

NALERIE spends most of her streams doing the following: Riding her bike to Walmart, which is a few blocks from the home she shares with her parents. Sometimes we get to see! While in Walmart she screeches at everyone who happens to be in the same aisle as her, as if it was part of some vast FreeMason conspiracy. Then, once we are done at Walmart, depending we may sit outside at our favorite picnic table and drink. From what we can tell NAL always has a bottle of liquor in her bag.

Then, we might go home and cook. It's unclear if NAL is the main cook for her elderly parents, but she sometimes gets "banned" from cooking -- we think this means she is banned from cooking THEIR food that they bought and must by her own. In one of her brat streams, she very begrudgingly made a bratwurst for her father and you can hear her on stream having a little bit of a tantrum after she asks him what he wants on it.

Sometimes we sit outside in the backyard. Or the frontyard with our gross homemade bong. The last time we sat in the frontyard, the cops came and NAL proceeded to hide in the bathroom for something like 8 hours. I lost count because we have had SO MANY fucking bathtub streams. She sits in there for hours. Water. No Water. She has fallen asleep in there.

Oh, and we're almost always getting black out drunk.

I'd say let's start a thread except without Cobra's involvement she's terminally uninteresting.

Truth.

You don't have to donate your knowledge, but if you do it's greatly ppreciated. It's not begging... its a business arrangement. You give me what you got and I say your name. First name only.

TWU

I hope you've all found this NAL -lite TED Talk interesting.

 

[spacko]

No just been watching this guy on YouTube for awhile now and want to see his happiness go away,

nigger

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

@Rotogravure Thank you for that nice little info dump, she is really close to the female of the Homo Bolglimus genus.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Know what? She’s cute in those two Halloween pics. The shy girl smile is endearing with her little costume and makeup. Genuinely depressing to see what’s become of her. But I guess that’s the thing y’know? Maybe you don’t become a boglim. Maybe you’re just born a boglim from the start and you just get worse at hiding it over time or stop trying to hide your bog nature.

Maybe the game was bogged from the start

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

Yeah, out of those options which would you prefer, no matter your answer, its not wishing they happen, just acknowledging these as possibilities.

i'll choose the last answer

None of the above

 

[HiveDull]

Smh, he's not even treating Jessica right. He hasn't even given her a hot pocket yet - 3 MEAT and CHEEEZZZ

Proud of Cobes for ending his dry spell. I know I'm late, but this year is really the year of Cobra.

Also, does anyone know if Jessica is staying for an extended period of time?
If she does, wouldn't a Couch Chris 2.0 event happen where he loses his SSI?
I'm not caught up on the thread so, my bad if this has been asked already.

Edit: Changed formatting so post is a little more readable.

 

[UncommonParlence]

I hope you've all found this NAL -lite TED Talk interesting.

Thank you for your knowledge dono, Roto. It's greatly ppreciated.

I knew... some of that, but having it all woven together into such an enGROSSing tapestry was, if not fascinating, elucidating.

It's like she was literally bioengineered to cling to and enrage cobra. The Walmart stuff is EXACTLY what I'd imagine her getting into.

The cooking thing is total foreshadowing. I cannot wait until she trys to interfere with/teach Cobra when he's cooking.

If she's even slightly capable at cooking she'll totally mog his ability and totally humiliate him. You already know she can't keep her fetid gob shut about ANYTHING. I can see this sparking some real conflict.

Has she always been known to be jealous? Cause I've seen sundry red flags. Getting her back up about girls from the 4th grade. Imaginary girls in chat(fangirlkate).

She's shown real venom any time somebody mentions a girl and cobra in the same sentence. God forbid cobes mention a lady.

He told her not to shit talk Ellen and that he was super protective of her and her family. I could see steam curling out of her giant cartoony old woman ears... I gave even odds it was going to set her off. I know she has Ellen, Alicia Rhodie, and fangirlkate filed away for later hateful use. Bank on her busting those names out the first time Cobra does anything that she's able to convince him he's in the wrong for.

I cannot believe he's ok with her telling him that she loves him on the first day. That is like the most easily debunked statement ever. Even he should know that anyone telling him that whopper,so soon, thinks he's an idiot and is 100% deceiving him. The instant she tricks him into saying it back she's got him. "You said you loved me, Cobra! Did you lie to me, cobra? Everybody lies to me, cobra! What did I do to deserve to be lied to, Joshie!".

Its gonna be ugly. They'll be engaged by day 4. He should count himself lucky if he gets out of this without becoming "engaged".

Do you know if she always moves this fast or is it because Cobes is big balling(lol)? Did you happen to see her eyes bug out and her face light up when he checked his PayPal? She was really impressed by that $240. She's already pressuring him to buy her shit too. She must have asked him to buy weed a dozen times.

Gaaawwwddd, it's icky how she strokes him when he starts to approach his limit(crotch AND ego). She plays him like a retarded fiddle and the only thing she brings to the table is literally her vagine. Cobra doesn't even like her, he can barely stand her. But she puts forth JUST enough energy flattering him to keep him pacified.

Cobra is used to the bottle keeping him calm. Now she just slips him the gym sock titty.

I'm happy for Cobes for ending the dry spell but it's just aggravating how transparent Nalerie's grift is.

I hope he catches on sooner rather than later because I'm already sick of her. Boss hogging the stream, sneaky banning chat members, obsessing over chat, and never ever ever shutting up while Cobra streams or anytime ever. It's the gkcjfs stream biatch not the NAL stream.

As of now the novelty hasn't worn off but it is already getting thin.

Curious if Cobra will be able to hold onto his testes or not. I'm hoping she grifts really hard and trys to boss Josh around and he gets SICK OF IT!!!

I REALLY hope he doesn't knock her up. I just want to see our BOY! singing that olden goldy "single life, oh siiinngglle liiffee! Single life, I love single life!".

Go ahead and hit me with rainbows but I'm hoping Cobes see's through her and we get a quick cessation of NAL's visiting.

I don't think we need more than a couple of days of NAL content to exhaust the novelty before it becomes excruciating for us all. Until then let the ments roll in.

We hope you have the time of your life knocking the crust off those pussy walls cobes. I mean, we've seen him in the cock holster. It's knock on the walls or nothing. Keep throwing that cocktail weinie down that hallway, BOY!

PS:Unironically happy for Cobra just can't ignore the black clouds on the horizon.