Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[AncientPhosphur]

she should have used this for her pfp, i feel she might attract a few random curious peopleView attachment 5834709

Uncanny

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

Eventually he'll make her phone home and return, glowing from all the prenatals.

 

[hector85]

View attachment 5834752
Eventually he'll make her phone home and return, glowing from all the prenatals.

REEEEEE.T. phone home?

 

[The Judean People's Front]

Accepting the inevitability of aging with grace is one thing. Being a drugged out alcoholic who was “rode hard a put up wet” is an entirely different matter.

I'm not saying that her current state is something to be proud of; I'm saying that most rode-hard women* use industrial-strength filters to try to look 25 with good skin. She doesn't, and I find that mildly charming.

*Edit to note that I meant ones who put themselves on camera frequently, not like in general.

 

[Your Landlord]

There was definitely a good number more dumb and autistic ratings, not that it really matters beyond showing unfamiliarity. Cobes is becoming more and more mainstream, and I suppose that's part of the process.

Low key genius, but I reckon it's so he has more booze to himself than anything.

No clue about the capsaicin, but if I'm not mistaken it's been 2 whole weeks so it may have fully fermented. If he hasn't agitated it like he has with the others, he might have accidentally made a clearer "mead"

That's fair, I did forget that this year has drawn a lot of new people in.

This batch of mead will definitely taste like aclohol, and it may be possibly safe to drink. Not for jessica, but jawshee will sure have a grand time.

How long till she gets banned for cussing out customers? "Fuck you I'm not saying that. I hope your dad rapes you in the ass!"

Two weeks seems right, but if she actually earns some money I'd bet she could stretch it to a month.

 

[G.Rapefruit]

View attachment 5834483
The bastion of week night party time has set up her own cameo.

Maybe she can give advice on how drink in your parents attic and piss in a box. She'll be on her way to affording her own "2 to 3 bedroom place" in no time!

I wonder if I could book her to tell us why her stink ditch smells like Wendy’s…

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

It's been awfully quiet in Casper this evening, I hope everything is all right.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

she should have used this for her pfp, i feel she might attract a few random curious peopleView attachment 5834709

The T-600 had rubber skin, we could spot them easy.

 

[Gulls on Film]

Personally, I'm watching with scientific interest. God knows what that will do to anyone without the patented Cobes lead-lined digestive tract.

Unfortunately, I don't think we will gain more insight into the composition of his brews. Her womb is toxic and will overpower any bacterium.

 

[Atomic Tampon Cat]

Quiet tonight. Maybe NAL took a sip of that dank mead and died. Twu

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

she should have used this for her pfp, i feel she might attract a few random curious people [IMG: One Ticket 2 Goiterville]

Fuck you, man. My side monitor is in portrait mode.
Maybe Null is on the right side of history with all his thumbnail-sperging. It saves the world from 27 inches of QHD Boglimesse.

 

[Titty Figurine]

that's why she's still throwing tantrums the way that she is, she feels she lucked out once and if she can do it once it means she deserves it right?

Spoiler: Hell hath no crazy like a gold digger failed

Holy shit. That would explain a lot, actually. I had a coworker like that at a college gig. One of the most most bitter, resentful, Barbie-hit-the-wall old cunts you could ever have the displeasure of meeting, let alone being stuck with in a boring environment for eight hours at a stretch. Former trophy wife fallen to slinging bachelorette novelties and fetching stripper shoes from the back room in the middle of the hood. Hated everyone and everything and walked down to the liquor store without fail after punching out, had a lot of smug pride about being built like the Cryptkeeper whenever there were fat chicks in the store but everyone who worked there knew it was the Rekieta diet. If she smelled money on a man buying lingerie for his wife she'd switch personalities to fawning bubbly bimbo so fast it'd spin your head and then spend the rest of the day seething about him with an escalating quality to it that made you realize she wasn't just a vicious bitch but a certifiably crazy vicious bitch who knew how to hide it for a paycheck.

She was already older when I knew her but if she had been less controlled ice queen and more impulsive trainwreck she could've been a picture of future NAL. The whiplash transitions from love bombing to demon energy, hatred of other women, and the shameless dollar chasing are an uncanny resemblance.

Dick is a terrible retirement plan if you don't want to end up a bottom feeding gold digger that pisses in boxes. Or an anorexic drunk banshee upselling expensive buttplugs to fags for an extra shekel a paycheck and flexing your collarbones on women thirty years your junior when you could've been knitting a blankie for your first grandbaby if you hadn't banked on your youth outlasting your personality. I don't really know which outcome is more depressing, but NAL's is definitely more entertaining.

Who knows though, maybe I'm just being unfair. NAL is certainly a passionate woman. Maybe the power of boglove (with a little help from tactical soap twu toobz) will shape her over time. Get her out of jizz-crusted yoga pants and into some modest dresses, learn how to make him some of them homemade Betty Crocker food hacks after she finishes handwashing and mending his clothes while he rediscovers his passion for music and woodworking. Not a drop of alcohol will pass their lips once they truly understand their connection, instead they'll drink trole tears every night from the finest crystal spittoons before several rounds of tantric lovemaking in their tower bedroom. Ozzy officiates the wedding and both the groom and bride's family weep openly and beg for forgiveness from the happy couple for every argument they've ever had. Cardboard boxes will go directly into the recycling after this housebreaking of the heart.

I wish them a million boglings that they will raise tenderly but firmly, encourage and nurture, and educate well. Under the watchful eye of their loving parents the brood will grow to be fine natural leaders and experts in their fields, and usher humanity into a new era of peace and prosperity.

 

[Deez Nuts]

There's no denying that Jessica is a prematurely aged she-goblin, but I find it refreshing? That she doesn't try too hard. I appreciate an unbothered middle-aged lady not turning on the filters and FaceTune - or Hell, even attempting a flattering picture for her Cameo PFP.

If she had a nice personality and wasn’t completely batshit she’d be a good pull for cobes.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

If she had a nice personality and wasn’t completely batshit she’d be a good pull for cobes.

A good personality can make even the fugliest motherfucker redeemable. Hell, even Cobes can be wholesome at times. But I doubt NAL will ever be capable of that.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Quiet tonight. Maybe NAL took a sip of that dank mead and died. Twu

lol, it made me think of that Simpsons episode with Poochie.

"Note: NAL died on the way back to her home attic. TWU"

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

There's no denying that Jessica is a prematurely aged she-goblin, but I find it refreshing? That she doesn't try too hard. I appreciate an unbothered middle-aged lady not turning on the filters and FaceTune - or Hell, even attempting a flattering picture for her Cameo PFP.

She does doll up sometimes, like when she went to that bar with Josh. She's content with being ugly while streaming because she doesn't care. She hates her viewers. She thinks she's far better than Josh, and is only using him for clout. It's not refreshing, she's awful and disgusting. Josh honestly deserves better, which is amazing to type.

 

[ibeatmywife]

There's no denying that Jessica is a prematurely aged she-goblin, but I find it refreshing? That she doesn't try too hard. I appreciate an unbothered middle-aged lady not turning on the filters and FaceTune - or Hell, even attempting a flattering picture for her Cameo PFP.

Nice ragebait did you think of it while ruminating how her asshole essence would taste in the back of your throat?

 

[Incel Death Note]

Here we go again toobz

 

[Deez Nuts]

Here we go again toobz

Just a closeup of her and Josh rambling in the background super drunk about how “cheetos makes a really good chip”.

 

[clipartfan92]

She had a swig of the mead a few minutes ago. It looked like she had to sit there and try very hard not to puke afterwards.