Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[中华人民共和国的政治]

As years go by he blames more and more things on "trols".

The troles got me kicked out of 109 countries

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I am putting my money on A & First as Cobes new digs. It seems like a Cobra park.

Hope he moves into the Backrooms yellow single-wide near the entrance I saw on street view.

 

[AnOminous]

It's a very common after dinner drink, either in a cordial glass or a 2-3 finger pour over ice. It is only 17% alcohol and you don't typically knock it back like beer. It's a sipping drink.

It's barely even a drink. It's a coffee flavoring. Even to make an Irish coffee with it you need to add some Irish whiskey too.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Instant Cobra search + citations

Not trying to shit on your project, it'll be useful either way but have you heard of https://lolcowgo.net/ ? You can already search and get link+timestamp to whatever he has ever said. Maybe you and the creator could collaborate and swap/share data.

 

[grand larsony]

Not trying to shit on your project, it'll be useful either way but have you heard of https://lolcowgo.net/ ? You can already search and get link+timestamp to whatever he has ever said. Maybe you and the creator could collaborate and swap/share data.
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I've seen it and love it, yeah. Lolcowgo was part of my inspiration for starting this project. My main gripe with it though, and the reason that I didn't bother asking him for data, is that it's all just YouTube auto-generated subtitles. These subtitles have weird artifacts (incl. some visible in your screenshot) and don't contain much, if any punctuation. Whisper does a better job with punctuating the text which results in higher quality search results, since I'm doing semantic search with text embeddings.

 

[Slim Boglim]

I was watching some classic videos, and man, I didn't expect to go from laughing to genuinely feeling bad in 30 seconds

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Writers would sell their souls to be able to write a tragedy half as good as this.

Making the best of every day;
Eating junk food
Jerkin off to camwhores
Drinking alone
Watching cartoons

 

[ASeabear8952]

Is the liver Janice because he's mispronouncing jaundice?

I love the bad ending.

Turns out my liver is just a yootoob trol.

Could there be a more Josh statement? As years go by he blames more and more things on "trols".

They've gotten him fired, twice. Evicted, twice. They've scared off every girl he likes, since the 4th grade. They've gotten him banned from most bars in town, and Albertson's. They've made it impossible for him to brush his teeth, never do what trols want. Couldn't go to the dentist, trols lost Puff. One of these days Clint may die, trols must pay for that.

"Are the "trolls" in the room with us now Josh?"

I never even made my family call me KINGcobra. They were just intimidated by my yootoob success. I'm a celerity. With a 6 celery figure. I have a Harlem of fangirls wanting to fuck me.

"Do the trolls tell you to hurt yourself, Josh?"

Fuck the trols! I go live when I want! BOY! I don't have to brush my teeth, it's a personal choice! I'm too smort for therapizing. I rule their sad pathetic lives! Social media doesn't give a shit! I'm miserable.

Maybe the real troles were the friends we made along the way.

 

[RX-0 Unicorn]

I just wanted to share my artistic autism of two things I rather enjoy which are Cobes and JoJo, that is all.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I know Cobes is a lazy boglim and all but moving is a pain in the ass for anyone, especially a regard who can't drive and doesn't have a ton of reliable people in his life. The two people who are willing to help him are Clint and maybe Darf, and it's an all day thing. As a man who has been duped into helping friends move more times than I probably should have, I feel for that BOY.

 

[Slim Boglim]

I know Cobes is a lazy boglim and all but moving is a pain in the ass for anyone, especially a regard who can't drive and doesn't have a ton of reliable people in his life. The two people who are willing to help him are Clint and maybe Darf, and it's an all day thing. As a man who has been duped into helping friends move more times than I peobably should have, I feel for that BOY.

Clint be like “I helped Josh move into his old apartment. I helped Josh move out of his old apartment. And then I helped Josh move into his new apartment. I’ve helped Josh move in and out of his old apartment and into his new apartment.”

 

[Mushroom King]

So did his strike end? We should do a petition for Josh to never use Talking Tom again. Or maybe a petition for him to only do Talking Tom content so his oppositional defiance disorder spins it.

I realize he's probably still moving, I just wonder what day I will sit down and see my boglim live again so I can get some up to date dating tips for of-age women and deep existential mead theories on the yeti and the cheese it's milk could make.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I realize he's probably still moving, I just wonder what day I will sit down and see my boglim live again so I can get some up to date dating tips for of-age women and deep existential mead theories on the yeti and the cheese it's milk could make.

That's a pretty interesting question, as far as I know the one bill he has to pay regularly is his internet bill and he will likely need a new connection so whatever the delay time is for them to provision a new connection.

Honestly I am hoping this move gets him chipper again I like happy josh and if he moved into one of those static caravan things that would be a larger living space for him.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Clint be like “I helped Josh move into his old apartment. I helped Josh move out of his old apartment. And then I helped Josh move into his new apartment. I’ve helped Josh move in and out of his old apartment and into his new apartment.”

Moving is Clint's Double Down cancellation.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Moving is Clint's Double Down cancellation.

He does seem the sort of guy who'd get excited by access to more "manly" tools like pallet trucks an sack trollies, like when he gets a chance to use a cordless driver he has to have that little play with the trigger.

 

[Sog Dog]

I just wanted to share my artistic autism of two things I rather enjoy which are Cobes and JoJo, that is all.
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You thought your first kiss would be with a big tiddy goth GF, but it was me, NAL!

 

[Extra Dainty Gorl]

The first apartment tour from back at his old place gives a pretty good idea of Josh's stature. If I had to just guess off the top of my head I'd put him at around 5'11". Judge for yourself here:

Forgive me, I tried to keep up with the bog hag while she had rum, things happened, mistakes were made, the autism showed up while I was trying to find another video but like....


Average bathroom sink height is 30 to 40 inches, with the overall being around 32 inches as standard. (that's why you taller fucks have to bend down) Plus he's in "older housing" that hasn't been updated probably in _decades_, so I'm gonna take a wild leap of faith and put it at the standard that is about 32 inches for most modern housing.

That's about waist height to him, right? I'ma call it waist height, otherwise he's like 5'3.

30 inches x2 is about 5 foot tall
40 inches x2 is about 6 foot, 8 inches tall.

Given like... *gestures vaguely at math*, and he's +- 5'6 by probably less than an inch. Nalarie is 5'3-ish. So he's "tall" by her standards, less so by most people.




Again, NAL is 5'3/5'4, he's _barely_ taller than her. even when literally about to grope her sad, saggy titties.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Given like... *gestures vaguely at math*, and he's +- 5'6 by probably less than an inch. Nalarie is 5'3-ish. So he's "tall" by her standards, less so by most people.

In what fucking reality is this a 5'6" man?

 

[Slim Boglim]

I just wanted to share my artistic autism of two things I rather enjoy which are Cobes and JoJo, that is all.
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Cobro’s Bizarre Adventure
what would his stand be called? My vote is
Papa Don’t Preach (Kelly Osbourne Version)
Stand powers:
- The Worst Best Luck: supernaturally manipulates probability so that he fucks up any action he takes or anything he attempts. However, after suffering the immediate consequences the ultimate result still ends in his favor.
- BOY!: When commanded by an authority figure to not do something he will do the complete opposite which can work against him or for him. This can alter reality. Ex: being prompted “Better not live forever, BOY!” Would make cobro functionally immortal until an overriding command. Has no effect unless subconsciously cobra views the authority figure as genuinely having authority over him.

 

[Extra Dainty Gorl]

In what fucking reality is this a 5'6" man?
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Is that a stairwell behind him? And he's like... halfway up the steps? Again, puts the height of the handrail just above waist height when he's at the top. Average handrail height of stairs is around 32-38 inches, generally erring to be shorter cause us gorls are not as tall and generally more likely to use them. Unless there's a shot of him standing by the handrail at the landing, not on the way up the steps?

 

[The Judean People's Front]

In what fucking reality is this a 5'6" man?
View attachment 5935153

I don't have the right kind of autism to go find it, but there's that photo of young Josh with the blue guitar shirt and short hair. I feel like that photo shows better than others that our Boglim is a normal-to-large sized boy.

I think that he's just usually in such baggy clothes, slouching or sitting down. It's easy to think he's smaller than he is. I wouldn't go so far as to say he has short king energy, but he's not imposing.