Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Open up the door to the clocktower of my mind
Sweeping spiral staircase and spiderwebs inside.
Ascend green fog, here, take my hand
And there we'll find a handsome man.
Moon hath blessed his marble skin
Cannot fight this trance I'm in.
Naked but a tattered hat
Ignoring every belfry bat.
Turning gears track spinning time
With kisses sweet as homemade wine.
Darken days chase brightened nights
Teasing, tasting these delights.
Prisoner of his many charms
Safe inside protective arms.
Minute hand moves down to hips
Caught between his fleshy lips.
My heart does soar on raven's wing
On my knees before my King.
Lofty bells ring out a crown
Pins me once then doubles down.
Loveblood spills out of my chalice
Deep within his sacred palace.
Reflected flame in onyx mirror
Wayward eyes do see much clearer.
Windy garden seed I'll carry
Summoned in the cemetery.
Fishnets tempt eternally
Dark ties binding you to me.
💘
 
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Richie Richard said:
Open up the door to the clocktower of my mind
Sweeping spiral staircase and spiderwebs inside.
Ascend green fog, here, take my hand
And there we'll find a handsome man.
Moon hath blessed his marble skin
Cannot fight this trance I'm in.
Naked but a tattered hat
Ignoring every belfry bat.
Turning gears track spinning time
With kisses sweet as homemade wine.
Darken days chase brightened nights
Teasing, tasting these delights.
Prisoner of his many charms
Safe inside protective arms.
Minute hand moves down to hips
Caught between his fleshy lips.
My heart does soar on raven's wing
On my knees before my King.
Lofty bells ring out a crown
Pins me once then doubles down.
Loveblood spills out of my chalice
Deep within his sacred palace.
Reflected flame in onyx mirror
Wayward eyes do see much clearer.
Windy garden seed I'll carry
Summoned in the cemetery.
Fishnets tempt eternally
Dark ties binding you to me.
💘
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Would you mind sharing more about this masterpiece?
 
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Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
PreserveTube
View attachment 6980466
Another fucking prosciutto sandwich video. I'm sick of this drought, toobz. :(
View attachment 6980444View attachment 6980494View attachment 6980499
He makes a sandwich for Floorlord, who's still coughing offscreen. Brokebog Mountain coming in nicely.
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Warmilkers coughing his lungs out off screen and mumbling something incomprehensible with that thick accent and meth mouth is kino as fuck dood.
 
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Star Spangled Bogger said:
Hellraiser Fundraiser aside, Josh loves that toaster that a fan sent to him. Could this be a potential kitchen appliance saga? Imagine the Bog Trailer full of electric kitchen gadgets and the possibilities! With a stand mixer, a dough roller he could make his own custom Bogritos in the oven!
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That might as well be a kitchen full of can openers. He wouldn't know how to use half of them, let alone bother to learn. The best he could do is figure out how to set the air fryer to 420 degrees haha yessssssth.


Also a stand mixer would be slightly less dangerous for him than the lathe. All that loose clothing and him being drunk all the time would be an accident waiting to happen.
 
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Slim Boglim said:
...a “waste of oxygen” like cobra is still kicking. Like I feel for them, I can’t imagine the pain of that situation (if it isn’t just faggy larping) but Jesus fucking Christ dude log off go talk to a professional or something holy shit.
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Cobra's a-logs and trolls remind me of the DSP detractors who live to hate and wish death on Cobra/DSP.

Cobra is a mentally retarded man in his 30s who barely functions on his own and would (probably) be homeless or dead without the assistance of others. His dad ensures he has a place to live, and his parents ensure he has groceries. His income is provided to him by others, whether it is taxpayers through SSI, or paypigs and trolls through YouTube, Paypal, Venmo, or Cashapp.

DSP is an isolated, reclusive, immature man in his 40s (I believe, though he may be older; I don't remember) who lives off the direct support of the people he entertains. If people stopped giving him money through super chats or PayPal, he would have very little income from ad revenue. He declared bankruptcy because he had hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt between credit cards and his condo's mortgage.

They both have vices/addictions that consume their income and physical or mental health and have brought about their suffering. Cobra has lost multiple teeth, with most others already rotted. He is getting fat, and we can hear his breathing worsen. There has been a clear and noticeable decline in Cobra's mental faculties. They do not have solid futures as they live day to day, only thinking about tomorrow when it comes. They don't have money saved in bank accounts, and they don't own stocks. They both beg encourage donations for daily or weekly expenses.

Cobra's most recent girlfriend was a BPDemon who tried to push Cobra to suicide and constantly harassed him. DSP barely has a connection to his wife.
They have no relationships to be jealous of. Their lives should not be envied.

It's okay to laugh at or pity them, but It's pathetic to hate these men.
 
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Since I've been watching Josh, I've been trying to figure out how I feel about him. He is disgusting, but I don't particularly dislike him. I wouldn't want to spend time around the guy, but I don't wish ill on him either.

He's like the groundhog who sometimes comes by my backyard. I'm not going to give it food. I'm certainly not going to let it in the house. But it brings me a smile when I see that goofy bastard bumbling around out there. And I feel a little bad for it when it does something stupid like try to fuck a stray cat and nearly get its eyes clawed out.
 
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Autism Doesn't Rock said:
I'd love to see him to use his magic to reanimate Walt's ashes
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I would probably legit die of laughter if I saw the video of him waving his wand at the funeral only to have the family escort him out. Then again it's a meth family so they might just yell "whoop whoop" and not even care.

"I was just trying to use my magic to make sure he had a carton of cigarettes and some booze in the afterlife buuuut the family didn't really want me waving my wand around. It is what it is, toobz"
 
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somevan712 said:
Cobra is a mentally retarded man in his 30s who barely functions on his own and would (probably) be homeless or dead without the assistance of others. His dad ensures he has a place to live, and his parents ensure he has groceries. His income is provided to him by others, whether it is taxpayers through SSI, or paypigs and trolls through YouTube, Paypal, Venmo, or Cashapp.
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I think Seizure pinpointed that as why so many troles and gaylogs are jealous and or hate cobes. He has every single safety net in place that they would benefit greatly from, but the boy squanders it. Especially around the 2020 mark when everything went to shit.
Taxpayer funded healthcare while others struggled with the coof? Never used it and consciously chose to rot away.
SSDI checks coming in while people were struggling with layoffs and unemployment? Wasted on booze and cigarettes.
Rent paid with gov. assistance while others struggled with eviction or making payments? Continuously broke lease terms with noise complaints and indoor smoking.
Family close by who are always willing to help? Shut out and talked down on over the Internet.
 
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I don't remember where I read it (probably here) but I think the parable of a "devils deal" summarizes cobras situation pretty well.

Wish: to be a well off rockstar musician that will never have to worry about anything and has adoring fans

The devil: acquiesces, however he makes you into a retarded boglim. You are the rockstar musician (if only to yourself), everything is taken care of for you (bc you're a blathering retard), and you're surrounded by fans (trolls)

You can have everything cobra has, but would you pay the price?


Cobras life is the monkey paw/ genies wish/ twilight zone episode, etc.
We're just here to watch.
 
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Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
He makes a sandwich for Floorlord, who's still coughing offscreen. Brokebog Mountain coming in nicely.
Click to expand...

Josh has spent his entire life eating concoctions that would make a regular human sick with food poisoning twice over, spent his entire existence breathing in foul fumes including duster and spray paint, his immune system could defeat cancer and Ebola at the same time and Warload is a fool if he thinks he can just waltz in and start inhaling that bog miasma with no consequence
 
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Third Kiwi Account said:
I don't remember where I read it (probably here) but I think the parable of a "devils deal" summarizes cobras situation pretty well.

Wish: to be a well off rockstar musician that will never have to worry about anything and has adoring fans

The devil: acquiesces, however he makes you into a retarded boglim. You are the rockstar musician (if only to yourself), everything is taken care of for you (bc you're a blathering retard), and you're surrounded by fans (trolls)

You can have everything cobra has, but would you pay the price?


Cobras life is the monkey paw/ genies wish/ twilight zone episode, etc.
We're just here to watch.
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Couldn't have said it better.
I hope they make a biopic of Cobes but add supernatural elements like that, the circle gods, chi balls
 
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