Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[DCMediaSped]

Probably the best cobra saga doc yet, though. Couch Chris is even dumber and more worthless than Warlord

He made Josh seem downright reasonable in comparison. I couldn't have stood being in the same room with that guy for 5 minutes.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Here's more 2013 archives and BCV summaries:

Spoiler: ARCHIVES AND BCV SUMMARIES JANUARY 13th-20th 2013

Random topics 2013-01-13 Chris is playing a game behind Josh and he starts combing his hair | 3:09 Josh starts moaning like a girl and says that's the sound Stephanie makes when they fuck | 4:00 the gang start saying "bitch got a penis" | 4:55 Josh gives Chris' brother a cigarette | 6:40 take care of your hair and it will take care of you | 6:48 Josh was with Stephanie at a store and a women though Josh was a girl from behind because of his long hair | 7:35 gorgeous long hair | 8:29 went to job corps and had 99% oxygen in his blood | 8:46 Josh says that Chris has lung cancer (not sure if it's a joke) | Religion and Drinking 2013-01-14 Josh has some friends over so they stayed over because he didn't want him to drink and drive | 1:40 Matt Ciampi is just sleeping over, he's not staying | 2:00 Matt was speaking to josh about his religion but didn't judge him. Matt is a Lucifarian | 4:57 Matt spoke to him about Cradle of Filth and Adam and Eve | 10:14 Josh talks about Luciferianism | 11:30 Josh has Lindsay Lohan as his desktop wallpaper | 16:48 josh could talk more about his religion but people made fun of him. Cobratin will pay them back Vigilantes doing justice are you for it or against it 2013-01-14 Josh has a weird affect on his video where you can see part of him and a skull in the background | 1:27 Josh talks about vigilante justice and Chris is for it | 2:41 no women or no children so it's fine | 6:18 Chris says Obama is releasing people from prison | 8:25 Chris says they are thinking of releasing Charles Manson because of all the people that want him dead in prison | 10:10 Chris is studying Irish Mythology Dealing with life 2013-01-15 Josh huffs and puffs and says he's numbing the pain away and drinks some alcohol | 2:20 Josh admits he's an alcohol, he loves the booze | 3:50 Josh says he's dealing with some personal problems and doesn't want to talk about it | 5:55 nothing too serious, nothing booze can't fix After Work 2013-01-16 Josh starts the video dancing to a song Chris is playing | 0:55 Josh addresses some comments saying that other people have it worse than him | 1:40 Chris plays with and shoots a bb gun behind Josh | 2:40 Josh snaps and shouts at Chris and tells him to stop wasting his fucking Co2 | 2:50 Chris says they are only $2 and Josh says he doesn't have $2 (very funny) | 3:55 Josh tells him to put it away and calls Chris retarded | 5:10 Chris is going to write a letter or something to his boss. Josh asks if he can write and Chris claims he's written three books, two of them published... in middle school. Chris can't prove it and Josh isn't shocked | 6:40 Josh advises Chris not to write a letter to his boss because he's out the end of his apartment at the end of his month | 7:50 Josh plucks hair out the back of his head and says he's stressed | 8:20 Josh says Chris gets on his nerves and says he's helping him out so he's not staying in his van | 9:40 Josh talks about him picking out his hair, says he did it as a kid | 10:00 Josh likes to bitch about his life | 10:50 Josh wants him to not to play music but Chris does it anyway | 11:55 Josh is passive aggressive with Chris while picking out hair | 12:49 Chris tells him to stop picking out his hair and then tries giving him advice. Josh shows hairs close to the camera | 14:35 Josh used to be bad picking out his hair and farts | 15:38 Chris asks Josh to use his computer, says no while he's recording a video .Chris says fine and he will wait | 16:17 Chris says "you will go bald" | 16:39 Chris says he's going bald at the back of his head and Josh says no, it's growing back | 19:00 Chris wants a new phone and Josh says he doesn't have any money | 21:15 Josh gets a cigarette from Chris and apologises to Chris for being grouchy | 22:10 Chris sings a song and says Josh lives sheltered life | 23:10 Chris argues with Josh about paranormal activity videos not being real. Chris says he's a skeptic | 24:20 Josh and Chris argue about ghosts and shadow people. Josh says skeptics don't have fun in life | 25:30 Josh hates having arguments with Chris because it's stupid | 26:00 talks about a time they argued about how cars were invented | 27:40 Josh calls Chris Mr. Skeptic | 28:00 Chris says he's a skeptic that believes everything. Josh calls him retarded | 29:50 what is so funny Chris while he listens to an Irish song | 31:30 Chris slaps his arm and Josh asks if he masturbating Getting your work noticed and other random topics 2013-01-17 Josh starts talking about what you need to do to get yourself out there if you want to be an artist and says you will get haters | 1:20 Josh has been working hard to get where he is now | 2:10 Josh is used to getting picked of so trolls don't work on him | 2:40 Josh ignores his trolls and haters make you famous | 3:33 Josh has a little bit of Jager left, takes a swig and says he's getting more when he gets paid on Wednesday | 4:09 Josh goes through periods where he drinks a lot then stops | 4:50 fumbles his words a bunch but it doesn't matter, then gets a bottle of Vampire vodka | 5:55 pours a glass of vodka in a glass Stephanie got him | 6:33 Josh then mixes pickle juice to his drink | 7:10 Josh then adds 7Up to the drink | 9:20 Josh adds pepper juice and adds a pepper into the drink | 8:45 Josh dances to Disturbed smiling | 9:00 weirdest, random drink combo | 10:10 Josh got an MP3 player for Christmas and Josh got Stephanie some lotion from bath and body works | 11:40 Stephanie got Josh a $15 Hot Topic gift card and a Harry Potter Hogwarts crest blanket | 12:00 Josh talks about his catchphrase 'fuck the mainstream' | 13:13 Josh talks about the history of goth and not fitting in | 14:00 Wendy's doesn't allow nail polish | 14:13 Josh changes topics a lot and he's aware of it | 15:35 Josh calls his drink a Cobra Martini and adds Jager to the drink combo | 17:30 Josh scored some cigarettes today but gets paid next week to buy booze and cigs | 18:05 Josh starts saying backpack in a weird voice | 18:20 Josh talks about baby sitting his little sister Sami watching Dora the Explorer | 19:23 big bag of pipe tobacco | 20:50 Josh talks about how Hot Topic is usually sold out of things he wants by posers buying them | 26:10 unclogs his pipe | 28:50 back to giving advice to up and comer artists | 29:55 make your own public FB page to display your work | 31:18 Josh says he has cysts that grow on his inner thigh and pops them, he has a video of him popping one but he may not post it. He thinks it may not be good for YouTube guidelines | 33:35 people should post their work on YouTube to get it out there | 33:45 Josh picks at something that's between his teeth | 35:20 Josh starts playing with his lighter like a gun | 36:10 more advice about dealing with trolls | 40:30 ignore the haters, wish he did it earlier | 41:10 Josh talks about bugs bunny and him being a troll | Hand rolled cigars 2013-01-18 Josh has zig zag rollers and talks about tobacco and rolling | 3:00 Josh shows how to roll a cigar Late night video 2013-01-18 Josh talks about tobacco and sniping ciggy buts | 1:20 Josh says he may be getting his new guitar on the 23rd of this month | 2:16 Josh talks about Mr. Money and wanted to get his money back but they don't do refunds. Josh says he will just take the guitar when he can pay it off | 3:33 Josh would have got it from the Rockstar music store instead of a pawn shop | 5:30 Josh has a tooth ache and puts a straw from his drink into his tooth | 6:49 tooth is acting up again Popping a cyst 2013-01-18 Josh pops a cyst on the inside of his thigh Old Lady punched for telling some one to quit cussing 2013-01-19 One of Chris' blonde friends is behind Josh playing a game | 00:59 Josh talks about a story of an old woman being punched for telling someone to stop swearing | 5:00 Josh watches the video | 5:30 Josh talks about religion and says that these people were stupid because they were religious | 12:39 someone calls a woman in the video a self-righteous cunt | 15:00 lots of people tell Josh he swears too much | 18:00 Josh talks about parenting and stopping kids from bad content like porn etc | 23:05 Josh talks about being at Bible studies in Job Corp and how they prayed to god that his guitar would get fixed | 31:48 Interview with a vampire book changed his life | 33:54 Josh talks about living in Tahoe in California about going to a Chapel and saw Jesus | Get well Ozzy 2013-01-19 Chris's ZRT friends are over behind Josh | 0:50 Josh talks about Ozzy's house burning down and Ozzy burning his hands | 1:55 Josh thanks god that Ozzy or Sharon didn't die | 3:42 Josh says Chris borrowed Josh's bike to go get some gas. Someone is behind Josh picking up his stuff | 5:00 Josh shows someone how to use the soda machine Creepy Random Video 2013-01-20 Josh starts singing and pulling weird faces and gestures to the song Pain by Three Days Grace with a video filter on | 3:18 Josh starts singing Animal by Three Days Grace | 6:19 Josh starts laughing creepily and putting out his tongue

 

[CerealKilla420]

Man... How many guitars does Cobes have? I feel like I've seen him with a different guitar for each of the past few streams...

The couch chris doc was pretty depressing but what I would have expected. Cobes and all of his friends remind me of the people I used to hang out with when I lived in upstate NY in my early 20s.

From my personal anecdotal experience, I feel like all of the young people living in small town America are pretty much clones of the casper people that Cobes hangs out with.

It's not that small town America uniquely produces these people, it's just they're the only ones that were not able to move out to a real city.

 

[daBonehead]

Seeing all this old footage of Cobes is pretty depressing considering how badly he's aged due to his poor life choices. Obviously he looks much worse nowadays than he did in 2013 but he also speaks so slowly now compared to how he spoke back then. He had a lot of energy in his voice then and now the alcohol abuse has zapped that energy out. I guess it is what it is toobz.

 

[PunishedCanadian]

Seeing all this old footage of Cobes is pretty depressing considering how badly he's aged due to his poor life choices. Obviously he looks much worse nowadays than he did in 2013 but he also speaks so slowly now compared to how he spoke back then. He had a lot of energy in his voice then and now the alcohol abuse has zapped that energy out. I guess it is what it is toobz.

He's become less mature as he's aged.

 

[Genetic Mt. Dew]

Man... How many guitars does Cobes have? I feel like I've seen him with a different guitar for each of the past few streams...

The couch chris doc was pretty depressing but what I would have expected. Cobes and all of his friends remind me of the people I used to hang out with when I lived in upstate NY in my early 20s.

From my personal anecdotal experience, I feel like all of the young people living in small town America are pretty much clones of the casper people that Cobes hangs out with.

It's not that small town America uniquely produces these people, it's just they're the only ones that were not able to move out to a real city.

I don't know the history of all his guitars but from memory he currently has an acoustic, his BC Rich, a fender strat knock off, a banjo, and whatever it is he just put in this latest video. I wonder how much he spent at the pawn shop for it?

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

I don't know the history of all his guitars but from memory he currently has an acoustic, his BC Rich, a fender strat knock off, a banjo, and whatever it is he just put in this latest video. I wonder how much he spent at the pawn shop for it?

A fan sent him the new guitar

 

[Genetic Mt. Dew]

A fan sent him the new guitar

Oh shit, I missed that bit then. Been really busy so hard to keep up. I'm glad to hear the King didn't spend too much of his precious booze money on it.

 

[CerealKilla420]

Seeing all this old footage of Cobes is pretty depressing considering how badly he's aged due to his poor life choices. Obviously he looks much worse nowadays than he did in 2013 but he also speaks so slowly now compared to how he spoke back then. He had a lot of energy in his voice then and now the alcohol abuse has zapped that energy out. I guess it is what it is toobz.

Honestly this is the thing that keeps me coming back.

I just want to know how he got so shot out.

I have heard several theories. Generally it seems people think it's because he's no longer taking stimulant ADHD medication or has just fried his brain from spice & alcohol. Both of these theories are solid but I am convinced that there is another substance involved here... Somewhere along the line something went seriously wrong and cobes began a steep cognitive decline at a very young age. I have met many addicts over the years and never seen a case as bad as cobes so I'm assuming that he's secretly on some kind of research chemical shit or something.

Can anyone weigh in on this for me? I also figure that a lot of his rapid aging comes from unfortunate genetics... A detail that for some reason has been overlooked in this thread I feel...

 

[TurdFondler]

It's just alcoholism, toobs. Drinking constantly like that over years will totally turn you into a mushbrain and age you. I knew a guy who over three years went from athletic with full head of hair to a decrepit, fat, bald & herniated wreck of a man. He drank all day every day.

I have no idea what drugs are like now, but I can venture there's little more exotic than dirty coke, meth, fent, weed and spice in Casper. Research chems were almost always a psychedelic analog with highs in the multi hour range. If cobes was on a research chem we would have for sure seen it.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

I have heard several theories. Generally it seems people think it's because he's no longer taking stimulant ADHD medication or has just fried his brain from spice & alcohol.

It's that.

Both of these theories are solid but I am convinced that there is another substance involved here... Somewhere along the line something went seriously wrong and cobes began a steep cognitive decline at a very young age. I have met many addicts over the years and never seen a case as bad as cobes so I'm assuming that he's secretly on some kind of research chemical shit or something.

That's dumb

Can anyone weigh in on this for me? I also figure that a lot of his rapid aging comes from unfortunate genetics... A detail that for some reason has been overlooked in this thread I feel...

He was already stupid as fuck and has spent a decade of free time drinking and smoking. He hasn't read more than a youtube comment or had a thought past a video responce in years. It's just normal cognitive decline of an already slow individual.

 

[Genetic Mt. Dew]

Honestly this is the thing that keeps me coming back.

I just want to know how he got so shot out.

I have heard several theories. Generally it seems people think it's because he's no longer taking stimulant ADHD medication or has just fried his brain from spice & alcohol. Both of these theories are solid but I am convinced that there is another substance involved here... Somewhere along the line something went seriously wrong and cobes began a steep cognitive decline at a very young age. I have met many addicts over the years and never seen a case as bad as cobes so I'm assuming that he's secretly on some kind of research chemical shit or something.

Can anyone weigh in on this for me? I also figure that a lot of his rapid aging comes from unfortunate genetics... A detail that for some reason has been overlooked in this thread I feel...

I really believe a lot of his aging and general shitty appearance has to do with the fact that he is dirty, un-showered, and unkempt. If he would buzz his head again, take off the jewelry, actually shower, wear clothes that fit and aren't destroyed he would instantly look 10 years younger – which is still older than he is now. The only thing that explains that aging is the booze and cigarettes.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

I really believe a lot of his aging and general shitty appearance has to do with the fact that he is dirty, un-showered, and unkempt. If he would buzz his head again, take off the jewelry, actually shower, wear clothes that fit and aren't destroyed he would instantly look 10 years younger – which is still older than he is now. The only thing that explains that aging is the booze and cigarettes.

His diet sucks too, that ages people also. Kobes occasional ride bike and walking to the liquor store is keeping him alive toobz.

 

[chimpSculpture]

A banjo would be more fitting than any of the guitars he's had. He would probably find it easier to play too, but Ozzy doesn't play with a banjo so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

His diet sucks too, that ages people also. Kobes occasional ride bike and walking to the liquor store is keeping him alive toobz.

I'm surprised he isn't rocking more of a gut these days, especially since he hit the big 3 0

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

I'm surprised he isn't rocking more of a gut these days, especially since he hit the big 3 0

Muh metabolism! Evidence of Kobes dark powers
1. He can eat nothing but garbage for years and drink and not gain any weight
2. He defeated coof by drinking through it
3. He can make a 10 minute video response last hours
All magic comes with a price though and this is why despite Kobes' vast powers he has withered down to the Boglim he is today and will continue his dry spell for many years to come.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

Muh metabolism! Evidence of Kobes dark powers
1. He can eat nothing but garbage for years and drink and not gain any weight
2. He defeated coof by drinking through it
3. He can make a 10 minute video response last hours
All magic comes with a price though and this is why despite Kobes' vast powers he has withered down to the Boglim he is today and will continue his dry spell for many years to come.

equivalent exchange, toobz. It is what it is

 

[CerealKilla420]

It's just alcoholism, toobs. Drinking constantly like that over years will totally turn you into a mushbrain and age you. I knew a guy who over three years went from athletic with full head of hair to a decrepit, fat, bald & herniated wreck of a man. He drank all day every day.

I have no idea what drugs are like now, but I can venture there's little more exotic than dirty coke, meth, fent, weed and spice in Casper. Research chems were almost always a psychedelic analog with highs in the multi hour range. If cobes was on a research chem we would have for sure seen it.

I was a hardcore alcoholic for like 5 years which is one of the reasons I'm so shocked by how rapidly he has fallen apart physically.

Muh metabolism! Evidence of Kobes dark powers
1. He can eat nothing but garbage for years and drink and not gain any weight
2. He defeated coof by drinking through it
3. He can make a 10 minute video response last hours
All magic comes with a price though and this is why despite Kobes' vast powers he has withered down to the Boglim he is today and will continue his dry spell for many years to come.

It's bizarre but lots of alcoholics say they never got really sick when they were drinking. I think it probably just kills everything inside of you lol

 

[Genetic Mt. Dew]

I'm surprised he isn't rocking more of a gut these days, especially since he hit the big 3 0

The next few years should be interesting to see if the Beer Gut Saga starts to develop. Any day now his body is going to give it up and start collecting that fat for later and I can't wait to see how his high school clothes hold up to it.

 

[Monoko]

I'm surprised he isn't rocking more of a gut these days, especially since he hit the big 3 0

living in a teenager's mind gives you a teenager's metabolism I guess

man I wish I could just eat different forms of bacon cheeseburgers everyday and not have a stroke. twu