Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

KCLLM: If anyone want's the source Cobra files please message me. For all the hundreds of hours of youtoobs video he's recorded there is only 20Mb ( 20M 1 Jul 00:01 notebook_sources_by_date.tar.gz) of compressed text dialog.


User: What are Cobras thoughts on Puff?

King Cobra has a deep affection and sense of responsibility towards his bearded dragon, Puff, who he views as a beloved companion and even a "brother" or "member of his pack".

Here's a comprehensive overview of King Cobra's thoughts and relationship with Puff, drawing from the sources:

**Puff's Identity and Characteristics:**
* Puff is King Cobra's pet **bearded dragon** and is a **male**.
* He is described as a **"handsome lizard"**, "happy lizard", and "happiest lizard".
* Puff is **"chilling like a rock star villain"** and is very content in his enclosure.
* King Cobra claims to have taught Puff **ventriloquism**, stating that Puff has a "potty mouth" and can talk to the fans.
* Puff is **affectionate**, giving King Cobra "a kiss with his nose" and licking his toe. He also senses King Cobra's distress and will come to check on him.
* When Puff dislikes something, his **whole body will "puff out"**.

**King Cobra's Care and Responsibility:**
* **Feeding:** King Cobra ensures Puff is well-fed, providing him with **fresh romaine lettuce**, **live crickets**, **super worms**, **Dubai roaches**, and **silkworms**. Puff also receives occasional treats like hard-boiled eggs and banana. King Cobra ensures his bugs are fed lettuce to make them "nice and fat".
* **Bathing and Shedding:** Puff is given **warm baths or soaks** multiple times a week, particularly when shedding.
* **Enclosure Maintenance:** King Cobra diligently cleans Puff's cage/enclosure, removes moisture, and rearranges it for Puff's comfort. He uses flat, smooth rocks to flatten out the substrate in the corner for Puff to sleep. He also ensures proper heat and UV lighting.
* **Health and Safety:** King Cobra watches Puff "like a hawk" to prevent injury, monitors his body temperature, and ensures he's not tangled in wires. He conducts research on bearded dragons to provide optimal care.
* **Prioritisation:** King Cobra explicitly states that **Puff "comes before alcohol and drugs"** and that "taking care of Puff is more important than all the money in the world".

**Impact of Puff on King Cobra:**
* Puff brings **"joy and love"** into King Cobra's life and "brightens up my day".
* Puff serves as a **"therapy lizard"** and a source of comfort.
* Puff has inspired King Cobra to create **merchandise**, such as shirts and cups with Puff's image or slogans like "Ain't nothing to Puff with". Sales of this merchandise go towards taking care of Puff.

**The Trolls' Obsession and King Cobra's Response:**
* King Cobra states that his trolls are **"jealous of Puff"** and find it "hilarious" to bully him about Puff.
* Trolls have **threatened to harm Puff**, created **fake Craigslist ads** to try and get him, and accuse King Cobra of **abusing him**.
* However, King Cobra views these attempts as **ineffective**, stating that bullying him about Puff "is not very effective".
* **Metro Animal Control has visited** King Cobra's apartment due to troll complaints, but after seeing Puff and King Cobra's care, they confirmed Puff is "handsome and healthy" and that King Cobra is "doing a good job". They now disregard troll calls about Puff. This was seen as a "biggest fucking kick in the balls to my trolls".
* King Cobra largely **ignores negative comments** about Puff, stating he will block or delete them, as they are a waste of the trolls' time. He sees the trolls' actions as merely proving their own "sad" and "miserable" lives.

**King Cobra's Devastation over Potential Loss:**
* King Cobra expresses **immense devastation** at the thought of losing Puff.
* He explicitly states he **would not trade Puff for "any of the Cobras in the world"** or even an African Grey Parrot, despite his obsession with cobras.
* He describes losing Puff as something that would take a "long time to get over".
* He prioritises finding Puff over winning the lottery.
* He finds it especially cruel when trolls bully him for losing Puff.

In summary, Puff is clearly a cherished and important part of King Cobra's life, providing him with companionship, joy, and therapeutic benefits, despite being a continuous target for his online trolls.


User: He let puff escape in the cold Wyoming winter. He wasn't very good at looking after it.


Regarding your statement that King Cobra "let Puff escape in the cold Wyoming winter" and "wasn't very good at looking after it," the sources provide a detailed account that largely contradicts the latter and offers context for the former.

Here's a breakdown of the information:

**Puff's Escape and the Wyoming Winter:**
* **Puff did indeed go missing**. King Cobra states that Puff "took off and ran away from home".
* The escape occurred when King Cobra took Puff outside for "sunshine". He explains that Puff "crawled down my shoulder" and then "jump[ed] off and then took off in some random direction".
* King Cobra describes this as **unintentional**, noting that Puff "has never taken off from my shoulders" before when they were outside, and he believed there was "mutual communication". He attributes Puff's behaviour to his "lizard brain", as bearded dragons are "unpredictable" and "will jump off and fucking scampery" when they "sense freedom".
* The incident occurred during a time of **cold weather in Wyoming**. King Cobra describes Wyoming winters as "vicious" and "brutal", with temperatures potentially dropping to "negative three degrees" and sometimes featuring "snow on the ground".
* King Cobra expresses **immense devastation, worry, and sadness** over Puff's disappearance, stating that losing him has been "so painful" and that he is "severely depressed with holiday blues". He has been "looking everywhere for him" for "11 plus days" and mentions the "one year anniversary" of Puff's disappearance.
* He hopes Puff has "burrowed underground" for warmth and is "hibernating" as bearded dragons do, and that he might "turn up in spring when the weather is like stupid haunts". He even claims to use his "magic to keep the weather in Casper, Wyoming super warm for this time of year. Only for the sake of my fucking lizard".

**King Cobra's Care for Puff:**
The sources provide extensive evidence that **King Cobra is, by his own account and external verification, very good at looking after Puff**. He views Puff as a "beloved companion" [previous conversation] and even "a brother" and "a member of my pack". His care is detailed and consistent:

* **Research and Knowledge:** King Cobra states he has "been spurting out, learning everything I can" about bearded dragon care, including their diet and how they stay warm.
* **Diet and Hydration:** He provides Puff with a "healthy variety of vegetables," including "fresh romaine lettuce", "live crickets," "super worms," "Dubai roaches," and "silkworms" [previous conversation]. He also gives him treats like "hard boiled egg" and "kiwi", ensuring "plenty of food and plenty of water". He regularly changes Puff's water and mists him for hydration, especially when shedding.
* **Enclosure and Environment:** King Cobra cleans Puff's cage/enclosure regularly and adjusts it for comfort, using flat rocks for sleeping. He ensures proper heating and UVB lighting, using "100 watt" bulbs as ideal, with "75 watts as backups," and knows the optimal temperature range of "80 to 106" degrees Fahrenheit. He also provides environmental enrichment by allowing Puff to sit on his log and "watch people go by outside the window".
* **Exercise and Safety:** King Cobra allows Puff to "run around the apartments" for exercise, which he considers "a lot safer than taking him outside". During indoor exploration, he takes precautions like closing closet doors to prevent Puff from knocking over potentially dangerous items, such as his shotgun.
* **Prioritisation and Affection:** He explicitly states that "taking care of Puff is more important than all the money in the world" [previous conversation], and that he would go without food if needed, as long as Puff is cared for. He would "not trade puff for any of the Cobras in the world". He describes Puff providing him with emotional support by "walk[ing] into the kitchen to make sure I was okay" when King Cobra was distressed.
* **External Verification (Metro Animal Control):** Despite persistent complaints from trolls attempting to have Puff taken away, Metro Animal Control visited King Cobra's apartment. After their inspection, they confirmed that Puff is "handsome and healthy" [previous conversation] and that King Cobra is "doing better than 90% of most people who I see with wizards". They even stopped responding to troll calls about Puff due to the demonstrated good care.

In conclusion, while Puff did escape during a time of cold weather in Wyoming, King Cobra states this was an **unintentional incident** resulting from Puff's natural animal instincts, and he expresses deep regret and ongoing efforts to find him. The assertion that King Cobra "wasn't very good at looking after it" is **directly contradicted by ample evidence** of his diligent care, extensive research, proactive measures, and profound emotional bond with Puff, all of which have been validated by Metro Animal Control.



User: Those were crocodile tears

King Cobra has a nuanced perspective on "crocodile tears," particularly distinguishing between what he perceives as insincere emotional displays from others and his own genuine expressions of sadness.

He explicitly uses the term **"crocodile tears"** when discussing how **white women** might weaponise their emotions. He states, "Because she cried some crocodile tears. That's another good name for white tears, but they're crocodile tears who come from white women because women who look like me and you". He also notes, "This trend... I don't think it's necessarily the tears. White woman tears. And women like it when you defend their honor, but you do it too much and it comes off as creepy and clingy. Be upplaying something that's actually bad that's happened, like in Chelsea's case, or they can be a complete and total fabrication, as in the case with Emmett Till. White tears are about white fragility. White woman tears are about revenge". This indicates he views certain displays of emotion, particularly from specific demographics, as calculated or manipulative, aimed at achieving a desired outcome or expressing "revenge".

However, when it comes to **his own crying**, King Cobra vehemently asserts that his tears are **genuine and a sign of his authentic emotional response**, not "crocodile tears." He frequently shares instances where he has cried on camera, often in response to:

* **Loss of beloved pets:** He became "severely depressed" after his bearded dragon, Puff, went missing [previous conversation]. He mentions crying when his dog Chance passed away, describing it as "some of the hardest shit I've ever gone through in my life" and that he "lost it," with "snot dripping down my fucking nose". He states that losing Puff made him cry on stream, and that "if you had a fucking pet that you cared about that died or that you lost or ran away you'd be devastated too". He also describes crying when Suno wrote a song about Puff running away and dying, stating, "The first time I heard this song, I started crying, dude. I was just like, oh my god. Right on point with the song".
* **Tragic events and empathy:** He cried during his 9/11 tribute video, especially when an ad for the Sandy Hook shooting came on. He views this as a sign of his "empathy" and being a "decent guy". He reiterates that he is "not afraid to cry for America and cry for other people who just want to be accepted, who want to be loved". He also cried watching a movie depicting "fucked up shit" and views it as proof he is "a bigger man" than those who would mock him for it.
* **Personal struggles and relationships:** He mentions crying over breakups, such as with Summer, and feeling remorse for past actions like cheating on Stephanie. He expresses that he "didn't want to completely break down on camera and start crying" over difficult situations, despite feeling very emotional.
* **Emotional impact of songs/music:** He explicitly states, "This song makes me emotional man kids are so precious to the world we live in like that's our future generation man". He refers to songs that "make you ball like a bitch" and how "Alisa lies by Jason Michelle Carol makes you ball like a bitch". He even admitted, "I cried like a bitch when Eddie Van Halen died".

King Cobra strongly believes that **men should be allowed to express emotions**, stating, "real men cry dude". He criticises the societal expectation for men to be emotionless, calling it "toxic masculinity". He frequently challenges his trolls, who often try to provoke him into an "autistic freak out" or mock him for crying. He often turns their mockery back on them, for example, by creating merchandise with his "cry face" from the 9/11 video. He acknowledges his Asperger's and bipolar depression can contribute to his emotional responses.

In summary, King Cobra uses the term "crocodile tears" to describe what he views as insincere or manipulative emotional displays from others, particularly from certain women. However, he fiercely defends his own crying as genuine, stemming from empathy, personal loss, or emotional responses to music and life's hardships, framing it as a sign of strength and authentic human emotion.
 
He confirmed he still does but it barely works anymore. If cobes was sane and was able to dedicate maybe 1 hour a day to his wands and cameo the guy could be making some serious money and afford modern games and pc parts, hell he could probably pay for his trailer and a car on his own but he doesn't give a fuck. All he cares about now is securing the next day's liquor money
He doesn't know about torrenting or downloading games. I don't even think he plays GTA on his PS3 anymore

On video, he asserts his ability to live a humble life and doesn't want to waste money when he already has items that still work.

Sure, his PS3 glitches out and he has to blow on it, or turn it on/off when it freezes playing GTA or Mafia, but it's still in good condition, doodt.

Why get a new PS4 or PS5 when he's content with his frugal lifestyle?

See, this is Boglinomics at its finest, because he will then proceed to order a $100 Pizza Hut hack, $100 in Chaturbate tips, $400 in bi-annual iPhone replacements, $80 in chaser and drink combos. . .

But he won't accept a PS5 a fan offered to send to his P.O. BOX in chat one time?
 
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I’m not sure how chaturbate works, but I assume it’s like any other whore but on the internet. Do we know he spends money on these e-thots or is it more people making shit up? I wouldn’t be surprised either way but there is a sea of porn out there and he doesn’t have to spend a dime to get his cobra to spit its venom
 
I’m not sure how chaturbate works, but I assume it’s like any other whore but on the internet. Do we know he spends money on these e-thots or is it more people making shit up? I wouldn’t be surprised either way but there is a sea of porn out there and he doesn’t have to spend a dime to get his cobra to spit its venom

I don't think there are receipts of him tipping tokens, but this is a guy who saved up to purchase multiple sex toys like dolls and pocket pussies, of which he attempted to also repair or fraudulently claim to have been stolen.

If the boy can Door Dash and subscribe to Nugenix, it's not farfetched to infer he's paid for some chaturbate tokens or tips.

Here's this blast from the past, lol:

 
I’m not sure how chaturbate works, but I assume it’s like any other whore but on the internet. Do we know he spends money on these e-thots or is it more people making shit up? I wouldn’t be surprised either way but there is a sea of porn out there and he doesn’t have to spend a dime to get his cobra to spit its venom
I wanna say that Bitesize talked about his economy and how much he'd spent on chaturbate coins w/e they're called, to tip the camwhores, but which video summary and which month/year it was I couldn't say. It's probably the only time he actually tips.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Umaibae and lebean
I enjoyed this nugget of wisdom from last night's Video Responce:

"It's kind of hypocritical, but like the thing about hypocrisy is it takes two people to be a hypocrite. You know, at least one or two. Neither here nor there."

IMG_0980.webp
 
It's truly baffling to me that he doesnt still make wands.
Maybe he doesn't have his lathe machine anymore? that was a couple of apartments ago and it probably broke/got lost in the move
also i'm pretty sure he never actually learned how to use it.

Either way, just go outside and pick up some fucking sticks, dip them in green paint, wrap some leather on them and sell that shit for 100$
Like I know it's Cobra we're talking about here, who knows why he does or doesnt do things.
But goddamn. That shit would be free money for him.
 
It's truly baffling to me that he doesnt still make wands.
Maybe he doesn't have his lathe machine anymore? that was a couple of apartments ago and it probably broke/got lost in the move
also i'm pretty sure he never actually learned how to use it.

Either way, just go outside and pick up some fucking sticks, dip them in green paint, wrap some leather on them and sell that shit for 100$
Like I know it's Cobra we're talking about here, who knows why he does or doesnt do things.
But goddamn. That shit would be free money for him.
yeah but the local yutes would laugh at him dood
 
I don't think there are receipts of him tipping tokens, but this is a guy who saved up to purchase multiple sex toys like dolls and pocket pussies, of which he attempted to also repair or fraudulently claim to have been stolen.

If the boy can Door Dash and subscribe to Nugenix, it's not farfetched to infer he's paid for some chaturbate tokens or tips.

Here's this blast from the past, lol:

I’m still dumb founded that the boy just shoots ropes on his carpet like it’s a peep show booth. Absolute boglim hours.
 
I’m still dumb founded that the boy just shoots ropes on his carpet like it’s a peep show booth. Absolute boglim hours.
you see selling carpet isnt a very lucrative business, selling carpet with a gothic bad boys cum all over it number 1 company on the fortune 500 right there. haters of goth music like ozzy (rip), johnny cash and santana like you will never understand. enjoy eating our dust while we eat the dankest food hacks

FUCK RAPE FUCK SICKOS FUCK TROLES
 
KCLLM: If anyone want's the source Cobra files please message me. For all the hundreds of hours of youtoobs video he's recorded there is only 20Mb ( 20M 1 Jul 00:01 notebook_sources_by_date.tar.gz) of compressed text dialog.
Can this thing identify videos where certain events take place? Just as an example, could you ask it which video it was where Cobra was sent green curry via doordash?
 
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