@Null
Perhaps you should consider a member of the "Casper Extended Universe"
Ie. Warlord (Alex Campbell), or maybe cooltaste (he is blind though)
Honestly, Warlord would probably love to have a few extra bucks for his meth habit, he would be far more motivated... not sure if he has a permanent mailing address though.
There are other casperites out there beyond what I mentioned, some cobra scholars could weigh in
I'm going to echo what others have said, cobra is completely tech illiterate, and is clinically retarded. Even if he could work a scanner, he wouldn't want to anyway