Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[RL Steinbeck]

when cobes pulls his penis out of jessica, i imagine it's similar to when you have drool stuck on your lips waking up

kinda like this?

 

[Giant Machine]

I can't wait until they get their teeth stuck together during a kiss. Like people with lip and tongue piercings with hoops and bars. But with rotting and missing teeth. Like a slide puzzle. Gonna be lit. Im all for it fam.

And when they finally separate one of those teeth is going for a ride in the other's mouth.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

kinda like this?
View attachment 5714098

exactly like that, thank you for the visual

 

[Hennimore]

So this is a bit of a detour from what's currently going on but does anyone remember if we ever got the full story about why Summer decided to call it quits with Josh back in the day? I was just watching the Bitesize Summer Saga video and Josh gives a couple of different accounts about what happened. At first he claims that a YouTube troll hacked her Facebook account and deleted all of her pictures and videos. Later on in a different video he then claims it wasn't a troll that did it but was instead one of Summer's ex-boyfriends. Has he spoken about this more over the years? I remember him looping about Summer quite a bit after the breakup but the details are hazy.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

NAL may be far worse than any of Cobe's post Stephanie GF's by every other metric except for one thing. At least she's not a single mom. Imagine having someone like Josh as a stepdad.

 

['Ole Dente]

So this is a bit of a detour from what's currently going on but does anyone remember if we ever got the full story about why Summer decided to call it quits with Josh back in the day? I was just watching the Bitesize Summer Saga video and Josh gives a couple of different accounts about what happened. At first he claims that a YouTube troll hacked her Facebook account and deleted all of her pictures and videos. Later on in a different video he then claims it wasn't a troll that did it but was instead one of Summer's ex-boyfriends. Has he spoken about this more over the years? I remember him looping about Summer quite a bit after the breakup but the details are hazy.

Redditards have contacted her but lots of those messages are in the wind or on someone’s hard drive. She developed a bacterial infection in her mouth and her throat from Cobra’s penis, then she fabricated a story about some Facebook hacking that didn’t happen because it was easier to say “Your trolls are too much” than it was to tell him the truth, she even faked some rape story to cover for getting the disease when she eventually went to the hospital over it. It’s Casper, she’s some kind of furry, she wanted to fuck his pedophilic friend who wants to suck off barn animals, schizo behaviour checks out.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

So this is a bit of a detour from what's currently going on but does anyone remember if we ever got the full story about why Summer decided to call it quits with Josh back in the day? I was just watching the Bitesize Summer Saga video and Josh gives a couple of different accounts about what happened.

She's retarded and a furry, she was fucking around with scrapper steve, Cobra was a loser with no car who didn't leave the apartment and his dirty dick gave her a bacterial infection. She also claimed she was raped or something the day she broke up with Cobra. I think the true story is probably somewhere in the middle, a retarded girl was getting attention from multiple retarded men and she went for the one who pursued her the most, instead of waiting patiently and doing nothing.

 

[Hennimore]

Appreciate the refresher. That entire saga was hilarious at the time. Has one of my favorite Cobra quotes ever when he was talking about Steve trying to steal Summer when him and Scotty (RIP) were hanging out.

"I help Steve move into his old apartment, out of his old apartment and into his new apartment. I've helped Steve move out of and into his old apartment and into his new apartment okay?"

The cadence with which he says that cracks me up every time. You can just tell the boy is really flustered over the entire situation.

 

[bonified retard]

https://youtu.be/QH3QAZzsibs?si=Cro3BXytOCnZMd7R

You know shit's popping off in the cobraverse when the hampow boys are weighing in on things.

 

[ASeabear8952]

So Cobes would use a condom for his mead but potentially not for sex? Typical bog logic.

 

[Meatslide]

I wonder if NAL will make abuse claims at some point if something doesn’t go her way.

 

[Meiwaku]

NAL may be far worse than any of Cobe's post Stephanie GF's by every other metric except for one thing. At least she's not a single mom. Imagine having someone like Josh as a stepdad.

Stephanie, like NAL, was boring. But Stephanie was at least not annoying iirc. She also looked really normal and not like a sex pest unlike Jessica. Her biggest sin was being an autistic coal burner. She also had a job full-time so despite being a single mom she was leagues ahead.

May we compare?



Stephanie



Jessica

Spoiler: Gothie

 

[☆ʙᴇᴛᴛʏ☆]

I'm fairly new to the Cobra verse and have been taking some time to watch some content of his.

Like he's a cross of gross as fuck and yet he's still likable so much so you want to see him get cut a break.

I know he was supposed to stream today and I hope everything is chill but unfortunately, NAL seems destructive. I'm viewing a rundown of his relationships with friends and significant others. It seems he has an affinity for getting close to the wrong kind of people and also seems to have calmed down considerably in contrast to his content from the early 2010s. Most of what I viewed the other day with Cobes and NAL I couldn't muster the strength to watch. It wasn't the PDA as much as it was NAL taking over the whole damn thing and didn't give him room to breathe. Despite all of Cobe's flaws, I still want him to succeed and be happy.

Also, the tactical soap seems to be his obsession

 

[Doxmatix]

This crossover of an ex-VIB dating Josh is causing some horrifying Foodie Beauty flashbacks thanks to NAL saying wild shit like:

• My pussy doesn't smell like barracuda
• Fuck Sjam he's a fucken faggot
• I bet you lick your mom's roast beef pussy drippings
• Those aren't shower curtains they're meat curtains from your moms' pussy

Whoever said she's turned him into a traumatized Vietnam Vet wasn't wrong.


My fave Cobra quote of the last stream was "I think Jessica's a lot younger than the civil war"

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Stephanie, like NAL, was boring. But Stephanie was at least not annoying iirc. She also looked really normal and not like a sex pest unlike Jessica. Her biggest sin was being an autistic coal burner. She also had a job full-time so despite being a single mom she was leagues ahead.

May we compare?

View attachment 5714405

Stephanie

View attachment 5714406

Jessica

Spoiler: Gothie

View attachment 5714414

Stephanie was never a single mom and IIRC still doesn't have kids. She also didn't date that black guy until years after she broke up with Cobes.

 

[Meiwaku]

Stephanie was never a single mom and IIRC still doesn't have kids. She also didn't date that black guy until years after she broke up with Cobes.

Thanks for the correction. I'm new to the cobes lore so I might get my girls mixed up.

Either way. Stephanie> Jessica

.....But Jessica makes for funnier content.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Thanks for the correction. I'm new to the cobes lore so I might get my girls mixed up.

Either way. Stephanie> Jessica

.....But Jessica makes for funnier content.

At this point, all his exs are better than this new girl. She is insufferable

 

[Slim Boglim]

The cadence with which he says that cracks me up every time. You can just tell the boy is really flustered over the entire situation.

If you haven’t seen it Walnut Grove uses that quote in an absolute banger of a song

 

[ADHD]

This crossover of an ex-VIB dating Josh is causing some horrifying Foodie Beauty flashbacks thanks to NAL saying wild shit like:

• My pussy doesn't smell like barracuda
• Fuck Sjam he's a fucken faggot
• I bet you lick your mom's roast beef pussy drippings
• Those aren't shower curtains they're meat curtains from your mom's pussy

Whoever said she's turned him into a traumatized Vietnam Vet wasn't wrong.
View attachment 5714538

My fave Cobra quote of the last stream was "I think Jessica's a lot younger than the civil war"

Speaking of which, I've found the perfect engagement ring for her:

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Speaking of which, I've found the perfect engagement ring for her:
View attachment 5714713

I can’t stop laughing at the idea of cobra’s wedding ring having a Disney logo on it lol