Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Lolcow Rodeo Clown]

We don't have to imagine the smell, it smells like Wendy's

Fresh Wendy's Beaver

 

[3MMA]

Cobes has been my easy listening, light reading, lolcow for some time. It’s been something to see him blast off into huge popularity, (the last year or two especially). I usually pop in to read something genuinely funny ITT, for a good while now. After reading about someone like da Gunt & old Balldo, it’s important to have lighter cows to balance out any dark heavy shit & to revel in the og Goth Bad Boy.

Don’t cared about any tourists, I recognize who’s been here, and know from experience that tourists will eventually leave (praise Cobra!) & OG’s shall remain, & though newfags find this place, the cream rises to the top, & some find a place for themselves as others pass like ships in the night. During all this activity, the clock tower of dreams sits on its majestic mountain peak, as the belfry tower stands in stark contrast to the dark nights sky. A bell rings, & Cobes hears the song & sings it back to all of humanity. That’s what’s up.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Would you be open to giving Cobra his own subforum?

There isn't enough content for an entire subforum. It's not needed.

 

[cyclical_yamashita]

the trolls strike back! apparently the boy got a 2 week suspension from uploads (and presumably streaming as well).

 

[grand larsony]

from yt_dlp import YoutubeDL
import anthropic
import openai

openai_client = openai.OpenAI(api_key="sk-YOURAPIKEYHERE")

client = anthropic.Anthropic(api_key="sk-YOURAPIKEYHERE")
model = "claude-3-haiku-20240307"

channel = "https://www.youtube.com/@KingCobraJFS"

def download_latest_video_audio(channel):
    ydl_opts = {
        'format': 'bestaudio/best',
        'outtmpl': "/tmp/cobra.mp3",
        'playlistend': 1,  # Only download the first video in the playlist
    }
    with YoutubeDL(ydl_opts) as ydl:
        info_dict = ydl.extract_info(channel, download=False)
        latest_video = info_dict['entries'][0]  # Get the latest video
        ydl.download([latest_video['webpage_url']])  # Download the audio of the latest video
    
    # Return to the start of the file
    f = open("/tmp/cobra.mp3", "rb")

    # Get the transcript
    transcript = openai_client.audio.transcriptions.create(
        model="whisper-1",
        language="en",
        file=f,
    )
    return transcript.text

def summarize_video(transcript):
    anthropic_response = client.messages.create(
        model=model,
        messages=[{"role":"user", "content": transcript}],
        max_tokens=2048,
        system="Summarize the KingCobraJFS video transcript in a bullet point list.",
    )
    return anthropic_response.content[0].text

t = download_latest_video_audio(channel)
print(summarize_video(t))

I have a more complex version of this that I use for my own personal Cobra content indexing project, but here's a real simple version you can use if you don't feel like keeping up with the long ass videos Cobes posts.
Output from the script on his latest video:
- Checking out some snow crab legs
- Turning off the burner and letting it cool down
- Crab juice has gone to the bottom of the pan
- Rinsing the crab legs in cold water to avoid grease
- Letting the crab legs stew in the "potion of goodness"
- Showing the cooked and steamed snow crab legs
- Noting the reddish color and describing them as looking fantastic
- Mentioning the crab legs were cooked in beer and white wine
- Encouraging viewers to like, subscribe, and turn on notifications for more content
- Showing the steam fogging up the camera, which is described as "sexy"

It works better on longer videos obviously. Hopefully this will help out some fellow Kiwis who don't have time to watch the 2 hour thought loop videos but still want to know what's going on in our boy's life.
Requires OpenAI API and Anthropic API keys. Both of them will give you some free credit when you sign up and add a payment method though, and a typical video (even a multi-hour one) only costs a couple cents to summarize

 

[BullfrogBill]

There isn't enough content for an entire subforum. It's not needed.

Cobra for sure has more going on than DSP and Chris Chan and they both have their own subforum. Cobra has arguably become the most popular lolcow these days so giving him a subforum seems like a given. Having separate threads for NAL, Cobra alogs, back ups of reddit memes, or general speculation threads and whatnot like the other subforums would be very nice.

 

[Lolcow Rodeo Clown]

Well, you can just buy them on ebay, even customized. I do not approve of people sending him things. I'm just saying if he really wanted one he could get it.

Hard disagree. The Official YouTubeTM play buttons are only given to an elite select few content creators. They are not available on Etsy or Amazon or anywhere else. They don't just give them to any random bald clown in his grandmother's attic.

 

['Ole Dente]

New people, I know you feel a little alienated. We can be harsh, and I apologize.

Everyone’s going to hate me for this but the secret to ingratiating yourself into this community is by signing up with your normal, regular email. If you tell us a little about yourself, it helps a lot too.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

New people, I know you feel a little alienated. We can be harsh, and I apologize.

Everyone’s going to hate me for this but the secret to ingratiating yourself into this community is by signing up with your normal, regular email. If you tell us a little about yourself, it helps a lot too.

A list of your greatest fears is pretty standard.

 

[Cornfed]

Her breaking it off in a spaz rage is the best thing to happen the goth bad boy. She is a fucking crazy sicko, and if some unsavory rumors are to be believed is imparting her sicko ways onto him (or into him if ya know what I mean).
The continued fallout of her wanting to get him back for continued leeching should be pretty funny.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

I'm not mad KFC canceled the Double Down but we need to get back to the hard-hitting issues, like "will Cobra be placed in a group home" or "can he work a job".

---

Is Clint bad father???

---

There it is, dipshits posting this same fucking thing at least 5+ times a day.

---

Can his teeth be saved?

 

[Slim Boglim]

New people, I know you feel a little alienated. We can be harsh, and I apologize.

Everyone’s going to hate me for this but the secret to ingratiating yourself into this community is by signing up with your normal, regular email. If you tell us a little about yourself, it helps a lot too.

We’ll also need proof of purchase of a shirt. A receipt is good but if you can take a selfie of you wearing your new official cobra merch and your face unobscured even better!

 

[BullfrogBill]

We’ll also need proof of purchase of a shirt. A receipt is good but if you can take a selfie of you wearing your new official cobra merch and your face unobscured even better!

The new "King Cobra Wins" shirt fucking rocks, any cool cobra worth their venom would be proud to showcase it here

 

[ChefOptimusCunt]

---

---

---

Can his teeth be saved?

I am the great mighty bog. I'm going to throw my slop at you. A huge supply of mead comes alongside ODD. How about foodhacks you little twat

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Cobes has been my easy listening, light reading, lolcow for some time. It’s been something to see him blast off into huge popularity, (the last year or two especially).

Unfortunately that's probably because lolcowism has narrowed pretty dramatically.

A lot of other cows have gone inactive/off the deep end, or in rare cases like with PreciousLeaf turned out to actually be incredibly long-game trolls which I'm still not quite over. If you compare the landscape now to even just 5 years ago there's a world of difference.

That's left holdouts like Cobra with a lot more attention heaped on them.
Then you get the zoomers and freaks who see oldschool lolcow culture as being hip and they either want to go wherever it's popular (thus latching on to established names like Cobra), or they're on a desperate hunt for "the next Chris-chan" which creates trainwrecks like with Daniel Larson.

Cobra barely has anything going on most of the time, he's simply one of the few true-blue lolcow figures still around doing his thing.

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

There it is, dipshits posting this same fucking thing at least 5+ times a day.

 

[Down From The Champions]

I am the great mighty bog. I'm going to throw my slop at you. A huge supply of mead comes alongside ODD. How about foodhacks you little twat

*Conker throws unwanted doordash orders*

"GOD DAMN IT!!!"

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

The new "King Cobra Wins" shirt fucking rocks, any cool cobra worth their venom would be proud to showcase it here

NGL I would totally rock that "Hail KingCobraJFS" mug at work. Just need to preempt any questions about the dick Cobratin symbol.

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

NGL I would totally rock that "Hail KingCobraJFS" mug at work. Just need to preempt any questions about the dick Cobratin symbol.

Point at the cool S, say "Remember the cool S from middle school? It's a boring story..." and chuckle, then hope you held the mug with your hand covering the balls spirit-to-element symbolism.

 

[Slim Boglim]

View attachment 5895061

Woah I never seen this before what an uncanny resemblance. Say, have you fellas ever considered that cobras lips sometimes resemble that of an aquatic, anamniotic, gill-bearing vertebrate animal with swimming fins?