Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Umaibae said:
@SeizureRobot5000 Just starting the new stream (I’m not gay, I’m in opposite time zones) — and just wanna clarify the apartment stuff.

So, as we’ve seen, Jord exists in his own personal space/time continuum in which years, months, weeks and days move at a pace unknown to us mere trolls. every day feels like Friday, toobz. He has said multiple times in recent weeks that he lived at the Conquistador for “five” or “six” years — which we know is way, way off. To that same end, we cannot trust Boggy Boy as a reliable source when it comes to his apartment management situation.

When he moved into the Conquistador, the building was under original management, the people who ran it like a meth den. Shortly after Josh moved in, the complex was sold and the new owners began seriously renovating the place. The transformation is easy to track online. New appliances, new flooring, new BBQ areas etc. Units were renovated building by building, and it’s long been my suspicion that Jord’s building is the last to be fixed up.

Daniel is the property manager, not owner.

My theory is that the owners finally caught wind of the Google reviews and complaints. Maybe Daniel was able to stave them off for a while, but the ramp up in insane behavior, cop visits, etc. made the “new owners” (who have actually been the owners since like 2021) finally pull the plug. I suspect Jord’s building is the next to be renovated anyway.

Thanks for the deep Celery Man reference.
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You make a very good point, Josh is an unreliable narrator (understatement). I sincerely cannot figure out why he would say he was at the Conquistadors 5 or 6 years... it's either a bad lie meant to make him look better or he's seriously losing it. It occurred to me just now that if Josh is trying to be a sneaky liar, it not even be a matter underestimating his audience's intelligence; he might be so low IQ that he is literally incapable of imagining what it's like to be on the receiving end when he spits out some absurd lie.

If Josh's place is due for the renovations you mentioned, then it's probably the most convenient time to give him the boot. I'm sure he was already a rotten tenant but it's a solid reason to finally pull the trigger on it. I wanna say right before he got evicted from the old place, management was scoping out his apartment in preparations for new fixtures and stuff, since they also intended to make the place look as if a dirty smoking boglim hadn't called it home for several years.

The best part is that ol' fatsodamus Couch Chris predicted this trend way back when Cobra still had a full head of hair.
 
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Umaibae said:
My theory is that the owners finally caught wind of the Google reviews and complaints. Maybe Daniel was able to stave them off for a while, but the ramp up in insane behavior, cop visits, etc. made the “new owners” (who have actually been the owners since like 2021) finally pull the plug. I suspect Jord’s building is the next to be renovated anyway.
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Well, if that deep lore is correct, it explains not only how they put up with Typical Boglim Behavior for so long but why they suddenly stopped. It might not even be NAL's fault directly although that sounds like a good excuse, especially if they thought that crazy psycho was moving in. One boglim is enough.
 
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SeizureRobot5000 said:
You make a very good point, Josh is an unreliable narrator (understatement). I sincerely cannot figure out why he would say he was at the Conquistadors 5 or 6 years... it's either a bad lie meant to make him look better or he's seriously losing it.
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Most definitely the boglim wet brain in action imo. He sits inside all day everyday, time becomes meaningless. He doesn't know what day it is half the time. Totally in reason he doesn't recall how long he's lived there off the top of his head as he copes.
 
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A video popped up in this thread recently of @SeizureRobot5000 talking to Cobra in the long long ago, I think it was first contact.

Seizure was asking about software, and asked if he knew about "torrents", it was clear Josh didn't know what they were, but seemed to not want to admit it. Seizure gently pressed, and said something of the effect "are you partial to pirating software?", to which Josh latches onto it, replying "Yeah yeah arrrrr me hearties", which comes off as a kind of deflective agreement.

It reminded me of talking to big brain folk about topics that are way over my head. "So you know, in physics, there is the glaberlsteign conjecture, right? Right? So you take that to it's foregone conclusion and therefore it's obvious that Hiendegerger's therom was clearly incorrect, yes?", sometimes you feel like a doofus and reply "Oh yeah, of course! That is obvious!"

Now we know Josh was tried out on the register at Wendys, but he couldn't work it effectively so he was put onto duties in the lobby.
SeizureRobot5000 said:
he might be so low IQ that he is literally incapable of imagining what it's like to be on the receiving end when he spits out some absurd lie.
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I believe he does in fact have a rather low IQ, but he was blessed with above average verbal fluency, which is how he masks his low IQ, and how he fools people (as in, the internet) into thinking that he is perfectly capable of normal tasks, but in reality he unfortunately is extremely impaired.

His verbal fluency and low IQ mix (and natural creativity) makes for a lot of his left of field unintentional humor, and his ability to freestyle rap (while no Eminem, he would beat most of us here in a rap battle). If he had an IQ of 110 he would probably be a legitimate small/medium time rock star and not a stinky little boglim (I do like his outsider music).

He can barely count, which explains why he routinely drops $70 on his pizza with all possible toppings. Combine that with a facade of intelligence due to verbal fluency and cue the inevitable spergouts "WHY DOES HE SPEND SO MUCH ON SO LITTLE?", he has no concept! Can't even get the sweet teas right.

The poor boy has no chance against a harpy of the likes of NAL. p.s. thanks sb5k for recent stream, it was a riot.
 
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Star Spangled Bogger said:
I believe he does in fact have a rather low IQ, but he was blessed with above average verbal fluency, which is how he masks his low IQ, and how he fools people (as in, the internet) into thinking that he is perfectly capable of normal tasks, but in reality he unfortunately is extremely impaired.
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This was what happened if you have a shit mother giving birth to you, giving you birth defects, assburgers and when Cobes grow up, the sexy goth bad boy looks if he was really inbred. Because of that, Cobes lives his youth with his stepmother, whom he is too impaired to the point that he considers her as his real mother and still look like a frog with bloated lips like his alcoholic biological mother that left him since birth. He knew what is wrong with him, but due to Cobes' mental retardation, he thinks he could be successful and be the ideal bad boy bitches should date, dood.
Star Spangled Bogger said:
His verbal fluency and low IQ mix (and natural creativity) makes for a lot of his left of field unintentional humor, and his ability to freestyle rap (while no Eminem, he would beat most of us here in a rap battle). If he had an IQ of 110 he would probably be a legitimate small/medium time rock star and not a stinky little boglim (I do like his outsider music).
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That apparently was his only talent and normal thing about Cobes being a human, aside from being a stinky boglim living with a bog hag (possibly formerly) that successfully broke off the dry spell. Cobes is simply unmatched to us in terms of rapping, but too bad he is too egotistical and impaired to actually reconsider his decisions beforehand.
Star Spangled Bogger said:
He can barely count, which explains why he routinely drops $70 on his pizza with all possible toppings. Combine that with a facade of intelligence due to verbal fluency and cue the inevitable spergouts "WHY DOES HE SPEND SO MUCH ON SO LITTLE?", he has no concept! Can't even get the sweet teas right.
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Josh definitely have very poor focus back then because his school life is all just being a douchebag with failing grades and stay in the Wrestlers' club just to get a letterman jacket before he spat on the club. Definitely well-taught and well-mannered, dood.
Star Spangled Bogger said:
The poor boy has no chance against a harpy of the likes of NAL. p.s. thanks sb5k for recent stream, it was a riot.
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Give him the hardest math question and he will slobber uncontrollably for being unable to do basic math.
 
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NaggotFigger said:
Josh definitely have very poor focus back then because his school life is all just being a douchebag with failing grades and stay in the Wrestlers' club just to get a letterman jacket before he spat on the club. Definitely well-taught and well-mannered, dood.
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Are you retarded or just foreign?
 
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It's very strange people go out of their way to harass this mentally retarded BOY. What is there really to gain content-wise or personally by texting/sending him mean shit? The only time I ever saw something entertaining come of it was the catfood sandwich, which was something he came up with on his own. It's not as though that was some 4d big brain move to get him to eat cat food. I saw someone earlier say that NaL was a Doordash prank and they're right. But it's one of the mean unfunny ones, she's worse than him by every stretch, and doesn't even have the "benefit" of being retarded. I dislike her so much, I'm sure anyone who has met similar people also largely detests her. Manipulative, gross, manic, angry, drug addled, NEET mooch. The only good thing about her is she never had kids, but she's trying with a RETARD. I'm not saying go ween Jessica, but why is Josh the one who gets to be their target? Sorry for the rant, my regard escaped his cage and is now gonna get severely flogged for posting here TWU
 
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中华人民共和国的政治 said:
Some Redditors made their website;
gothickingcobra.com
The UI sucks and there's like 5 posts.
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Owner is doxxed lmao. Literally took like 5 minutes once he connected his reddit account to owning the site
Before someone jumps down my throat with "KEEP THE ALOG CHAT IN THE OTHER THREAD" - yes, I know, but I know the alogs read this thread and I want them to shut their retard stalking website down. Most of them don't read the other thread, even now that it's out of the prospering grounds. But I digress
 
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grand larsony said:
Owner is doxxed lmao. Literally took like 5 minutes once he connected his reddit account to owning the site
Before someone jumps down my throat with "KEEP THE ALOG CHAT IN THE OTHER THREAD" - yes, I know, but I know the alogs read this thread and I want them to shut their retard stalking website down. Most of them don't read the other thread, even now that it's out of the prospering grounds. But I digress
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Sorry I didn't realise it was posted there :semperfidelis:

I guess the site won't last long then lmao
 
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grand larsony said:
Owner is doxxed lmao. Literally took like 5 minutes once he connected his reddit account to owning the site
Before someone jumps down my throat with "KEEP THE ALOG CHAT IN THE OTHER THREAD" - yes, I know, but I know the alogs read this thread and I want them to shut their retard stalking website down. Most of them don't read the other thread, even now that it's out of the prospering grounds. But I digress
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I swear cobra Alogs are just as retarded as he is.
 
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Jumping in with this because someone did a @SeizureRobot5000 further up this thread…

A major L for @SeizureRobot5000 in the latest stream, promoting that SaintPuffers bullshit. It’s not even a matter of opinion, that ‘ShitList’ is utter trash. I can’t be bothered with explaining why but anyone who knows what they are talking about regarding Cobes lore, knows that the list is full of misrepresentations of the truth and outright lies… and I can’t fathom how someone like Seizure could praise that worthless shite, it has been an annoying presence ever since ‘SaintPuffers’ first pulled it out of his ass.
 
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