Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Pitckus]

haha yesssth he's most definitely one of those goth chickens
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Chicken Josh in reality:

 

[Slim Boglim]

Chicken Josh in reality:

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Goes hard TWU Chicken Josh

 

[James done did it]

I think the best way to summarize the classic cow phenomenon is as a digital village idiot. What I see with cobes and other people in that class is pretty similar to how I see people engaging with local village idiots here irl. Most people get a good chuckle out of their antics and either just observe from afar or maybe gently engage in a positive way, like getting hype and high fiving the gym downie who deadlifts 2 plates and lets out a triumphant downie shriek. Yeah they're annoying sometimes but most people know they're disabled/deficient and just trying to live their best life. Then you get occasional teenagers who try to egg them on and agitate them to satiate the childish impulse for cruelty, or the people who are just slightly more capable than them punching down on the tards as a way to make themselves feel like they're better than someone.

Cobes, despite regardation, managed to figure out how to broadcast his sick drink combos to the toobz so we all get to enjoy his antics without any of the downsides.

 

[Smegward]

what if he just stayed there and was like arthur from king of queens?

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

She also let him go down on her. Now, I know the joke would be her pussy is more disgusting than his mouth, but honestly I doubt it. She actually bathes. Cobes' mouth is dirtier than most people's unwiped assholes.

It reminds me of other cows, Digitroon and Paedoparty. Digi, like Josh, didn't brush his teeth for months at a time and routinely went down on Meigh. That is like a guaranteed method of contracting BV. I'm sure after Josh ate up that wendy's you would be able to smell NAL coming before seeing, or even hearing her.

There is something called a "Fight Bite" - it can happen even with normal people with decent dental health but for Police, Ambulance and just random victims you pop someone in the mouth their mouth is open an you cut yourself on there teeth it's considered a high treatment priority because of the really nasty infections it can give you - its like a Komodo Dragon it's bite isn't Venomous but really bacterially rich so you die from a infection and it doesn't have to chase you down or evolve a venom gland etc same pay off and same sort of transmission vector.

Honestly Cobes is so much of his own thing that I don’t know if the “lolcow” classification really works. He’s in his own league of internet weirdo. Rather than a cow that needs to be milked Cobes is more akin to a chicken where you let him do his thing, keep him fed, keep him housed, keep him safe from predators and wait until it’s time to go collect the eggs (so you can then boil them in Mountain Dew)

Yea he's most certainly his own thing, I can't really think of a category I'd put him in when it comes to Cows.

haha yesssth he's most definitely one of those goth chickens
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he's like my favorite rooster: comfortable in his territory, fucking any bitch he wants, and yelling to let everyone know how cool he is. He just doesn't wake up at 4am.

Fun non Cobes fact - one of the first Spy Masters of the English crown and reputed occultist had a Black Cock like that He convinced people at court that it could tell if you where lying and his did this thing where he covered it in soot and asked you to walk into a darkened room through one door you had to state your truth while touching the chicken and then leave the room through another door - if you where lying you didn't put your hand on the chicken but if you touched it your hand got soot on it and it helped narrow down the suspect lists in a few serious cases of intrigue at court.

 

[niggers]

what if he just stayed there and was like arthur from king of queens?

I was kinda thinking about earlier. Imagine if this is it, Clint never manages to find a low income apartment that’ll take cobes. The only cobra content we get for the rest of time is hushed 30 second shorts to avoid the nipple overlord.

I don’t really think that’ll be the case (Clint has spent tens of thousands to keep cobra away from the do over family), but life loves doling out unsatisfactory endings. Imagine this is the end of the gothic cowboy warlock. Not with a bang, but with a whimper, dood.

 

[TheBearMan]

Yeah, there's an unspoken value that come with him being such a "low burn" retard that makes it where the Cyraxx and Daniel Larson mongoloids stay clear the second their third-rate weenery doesn't immediately result in a screaming temper tantrum.

Instant gratification has fried the youths brains. They're reared on social media and video games. If its anything more involved than push button, make thing happen (in this case its making a retard scream in the middle of a Panera bread) their eyes glaze over.

 

[John R. Brown M.D.]

Instant gratification has fried the youths brains. They're reared on social media and video games. If its anything more involved than push button, make thing happen (in this case its making a retard scream in the middle of a Panera bread) their eyes glaze over.

Explains why I consume Bossmanjack's felting content like he consumes your mum's vagina, even though mother's day is over.

 

[SupremeGuntleman]

Chicken Josh in reality:

Keep on rockin' bud!

 

[biggacracka]

I'm not only dumb but also regarded so I decided to bogify bohemian rhapsody
Call that shit boghemian responce
Feel free to continue it or redo it, it's no skin off my shoe but I digress


Is this the goth life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a dogchair, all escapes from reality
Open your eyes, look up to the livestream and see
I'm just a poor bog, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy troled, little high, drink combo
Any way the fart blows doesn't really matter to me, to me

Papa, just killed a trole
Put a wand against his head, cast my spell, now he's dead
Papa, life never begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Papa, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back on stream this time tomorrow
It is what it is, it is what it is, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my teeth, body's aching all the time
Goodbye, every troles, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Papa, ooh (any way the fart blows) I don't wanna die
I sometimes wish I'd never been troled at all

 

[Mushroom King]

Is NAL in Casper? JM MIA, NAL MIA and Cobra MIA?

 

[anliteralidiot]

Is NAL in Casper? JM MIA, NAL MIA and Cobra MIA?

With NAL being in a hugbox on Instagram, most of her streams are boring AF. JM is probably waiting for a few funny ones to be posted before reacting.

 

[Your Landlord]

Is NAL in Casper? JM MIA, NAL MIA and Cobra MIA?

This channel uploaded some stuff on NaL yesterday. Seems to mostly be nothing going on,  buuuuuuuuuut, there are rumors of jawshie visiting her in Virginia.

Two months ago I would have said it was impossible to get him to go anywhere. Living with Clint and Tanisha however may change that; we all know how he reacts to being told what to do, and there's no way they haven't been on him constantly to shape-up and act normalish.


>Tanisha
That was autocorrect, but I'm keeping it. A big sassy black woman in the Saunders household is a hilarious idea.

Revision: JM just went live with some NaL stuff.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Two months ago I would have said it was impossible to get him to go anywhere. Living with Clint and Tanisha however may change that; we all know how he reacts to being told what to do, and there's no way they haven't been on him constantly to shape-up and act normalish.

The only way he'll end up in VA is if Clint literally holds his hand through the airport and entire plane ride. Or if Darf or that buddy troll Aaron or whatever his name was drives him to VA.

 

[Mushroom King]

With NAL being in a hugbox on Instagram, most of her streams are boring AF. JM is probably waiting for a few funny ones to be posted before reacting.

This channel uploaded some stuff on NaL yesterday. Seems to mostly be nothing going on,  buuuuuuuuuut, there are rumors of jawshie visiting her in Virginia.

Two months ago I would have said it was impossible to get him to go anywhere. Living with Clint and Tanisha however may change that; we all know how he reacts to being told what to do, and there's no way they haven't been on him constantly to shape-up and act normalish.

Very interesting, our boglim has become quite the globe trotter now that he's no place to rest on his dog chair. TWU but his kingdom feels empty without a trickle feed of drink combos and unsolicited relationship advice.

 

[Looney Troons]

It's weird how Cobra manages to be so many seemingly conflicting things at once. He's very entertaining, but his streams are almost all incredibly boring and uneventful. He's completely disgusting, yet somehow still quite endearing. He's always drinking, but always cutting back. He's an incel full of rage, but has weird one-off moments where he's a total Chad. He's obsessed with his troles and they rule his life, but he also rules theirs. His fans all laugh at him, but they're also still unironically consuming his content and enjoying it.

He really is an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a tortilla. Look at that cheese pull, that's dank as hell toobz.

That’s pretty much Classic Chris to the T, and that’s why Cobes is one of very few cows I actively follow in modern times. I don’t find him absolutely vile (he is gross, but I mean vile as like… just an awful person) like so many others that are being archived. He’s the perfect blend of unintentional comedy and cringe to me.

 

[anliteralidiot]

there are rumors of jawshie visiting her in Virginia

I'll believe it when I see it. She lives in a hoard, and he posted stuff for mother's day. NAL desperately wants him to visit, but I don't think he will.
ugh... eating tacos with a spoon

 

[Point Emerging]

The chuckling from my dog bog chair so much that the vibrations are summoning all of the bugs.

https://youtu.be/0Er0I7GlqYc?si=Q6TWoP1v14ZiZLkd

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I've never been so fucking bored in my life. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME BACK COBES!

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

I'll believe it when I see it. She lives in a hoard, and he posted stuff for mother's day. NAL desperately wants him to visit, but I don't think he will.
ugh... eating tacos with a spoon
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God, she looks much older than 39. I swear, if I haven’t seen her info before, I would say she’s mid or late 40s at best. I guess drugs and eating unhealthy fucks you up quick