Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

rexxon_tillerson said:
if only tactical soap would come out with a toothpaste and toothbrush we might see our goth bad boy brush his teeth once a year.
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If there was a commercial for a toothpaste brand similiar to axe body spray or Tactical soap that showed a man brushing his teeth and women flocking to him while making nonsense claims like "Cobra's BiTE™ toothpaste is cold cut pressed and engineered with the pheromones of drone bees that are scientifically proven to attract females so leave the refreshing cooltaste of sour apple in your mouth today and clean your fangs with BiTE!™" .. Cobra would have perfect teeth.

Actually I don't know, he can't even do the tactical soap thing right. He rarely showers with it, he only rubs it on his clothes because he literally believes it magically makes women's pussys wet. He'd probably just rub the tooth paste on himself as well.
 
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gobread said:
This guy and TARMAN are some of the most pathetic, unfunny orbiters in the entire Cobraverse. They genuinely seem to be more retarded than Josh.
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lolcow youtubers are always as bad as the cows they cover. Wait for the discords to blow up and they start posting in this thread. They dindu nuffin, it was all the other pedos! Some of them are already doing it in other threads.
Blue Miaplacidus said:
If there was a commercial for a toothpaste brand similiar to axe body spray or Tactical soap that showed a man brushing his teeth and women flocking to him while making nonsense claims like "Cobra's BiTE™ toothpaste is cold cut pressed and engineered with the pheromones of drone bees that are scientifically proven to attract females so leave the refreshing cooltaste of sour apple in your mouth today and clean your fangs with BiTE!™" .. Cobra would have perfect teeth.

Actually I don't know, he can't even do the tactical soap thing right. He rarely showers with it, he only rubs it on his clothes because he literally believes it magically makes women's pussys wet. He'd probably just rub the tooth paste on himself as well.
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Would you want to make NAL's pussy wet? It looks like someone burnt pork and cut the middle open.
 
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>Hello you tubes, I have a drink combo for you
>Name of the video: Fresh soap
 
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
In Bogodus 21:6, Cobratin says "the trolls suck my dick because they need to suck my dick, without my dick to suck they would be like blind men in a room of curios"

thus spoke the lord, amen
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Bogodus 35: Clint then rebuked the Boglim, and fpake thus. "Thine landlord hath told me thine lease is terminated and thou must depart, as thou inflicted grievous damage upon this dwelling-place, in the amount of fix-thoufand dollars."

The Boglim was incenfed, and verily did the walls fhake with his anger. "That is bullfhit! There is no way I caufed fix-thousand dollars worth of damage to this dwelling!"
 
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Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Bogodus 35: Clint then rebuked the Boglim, and fpake thus. "Thine landlord hath told me thine lease is terminated and thou must depart, as thou inflicted grievous damage upon this dwelling-place, in the amount of fix-thoufand dollars."

The Boglim was incenfed, and verily did the walls fhake with his anger. "That is bullfhit! There is no way I caufed fix-thousand dollars worth of damage to this dwelling!"
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"You are speaking the bullshit, father. This is how they repay my generosity?! I purchased for them one singular sisha dispenser and they REBUKE ME?! The spray paint didn't even smell that bad, dood."
 
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So after years of gradually lowering his commission rate, they finally just cancel his affiliation status? Between his massive orders (alot of which he uses for free promo), and all of the gay redditors buying it ironically, they had to have moved thousands of units that would just be expiring away in this loser's shed. More like GronKIKE Soap Company.
 
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Maverick 3 Solid Cologne Booster (2-pack) $18.62
God of War Beard oil - $37.95
Bond Pheromone infused Deodorant $29.95
Bond Body Butter $29.95
Bond Soap x 3 $35.85
Maverick x 3 $35.85
Bond #3 x 3 $35.85
So $224 on fucking soap

Out of all the human beings on planet Earth it is still bewildering to me that Josh loves this soap stuff so much and looks like he smells like an unwashed asshole but instead must stink like a perfumed dandy.
However he does wear the same shirt for 35 days that must smell like a piss soaked gym towel at the bottom of a locker which probably cancels it out.

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bonified retard said:
So after years of gradually lowering his commission rate, they finally just cancel his affiliation status? Between his massive orders (alot of which he uses for free promo), and all of the gay redditors buying it ironically, they had to have moved thousands of units that would just be expiring away in this loser's shed. More like GronKIKE Soap Company.
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I didn't even know Tactical Soap existed before Cobra. Not that I'd buy it but still, publicity is publicity.
 
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I'm 99.9% sure his affiliate status is one anyone could attain and that he simply didn't reapply for it. I'm pretty sure grondyke has considered paying him to not advertise them I really don't think he ever had any legit sponsorship.
 
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
I vaguely recall that it was canceled quite a long time ago, I could be wrong but I have a memory of troles celebrating when they dropped him months ago.
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It was an affiliate link that anyone can really apply for and get easily. It hadn't worked for a while, I want to say around the tail end of him living at his Center Street apartment because I can remember a DTTS telling him that Bond doesn't even sponsor him anymore. He's continued to tell people to use it since, despite everybody telling him it's not functional at all. It started working again maybe 3 months ago but it's broken again.

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The relationship between Cobra and Bond is strange, Bond has continued to tell Josh in the most subtle way possible that this isn't a thing anymore and he doesn't get it or he doesn't want to.
 
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