I can just make this easier for the new people coming in.
You either read a fucking novel or do what you're supposed to do and go back 20 pages and begin from there. This doesn't cover everything, this is just your general overview of the situation in case you're new or you haven't seen Cobra in 10 years, there's a couple of things going on here and there in the background of this story that I don't have the care or the patience to put in this. Also makes it easier for
to understand because I'm sure he doesn't want to wade through pages and pages of stupid shit.
Josh/Cobra's name is highlight in
Green. They are the same person.
Jessica is highlighted in
Blue.
Chris in
Gold.
Notable points in
Red.
PHASE I: THE BOGWITCH COMETH
Josh starts talking to this woman named
Jessica.
Jessica is a minor GorlWorld figure who did some dumb shit, I dunno, it's Kiwi Lady shit and nobody gives a fuck about that except them, the point is that
Jessica is
absolutely batshit, bugfuck out of her mind. Lots of people try to tell Josh this and he as usual does not listen. Cut to some trolls buying her plane tickets and them showing each other their silly bits privately,
Jessica shows up at
Josh's place and the dry spell is broken.
Josh slurps up
Jessica's slovenly stinkhole like a kitten drinking milk. It was a glorious day for
Josh because
it had been almost a decade until someone touched his weathered and broken penis. Glory, however, is not held for long.
Josh would come to very quickly realize that
Jessica is actually
a fucking complete lunatic who would start fights over nothing, attempt to manipulate him, attempt to get him drunk to get him to agree to having a baby with her, bait him into severe rage fits so she could start filming after so it would appear as if she'd done nothing wrong, drink all his liquor, smoke all his weed and all with a smile on her face.
Cobra's stupidity is only matched by his forgiving nature, so he let a lot of it slide. Some time would pass,
Cobra would make their relationship official over Facebook and all was well in the Cobraverse.....or so it would seem.
PHASE II: NO REST FOR THE BOGWITCH
Jessica would, at the behest of a generous troll, return to the Cobra Hole shortly after the first visit. Not much different happened on this visit aside from escalating hostilities from both parties.
Cops were called,
Jessica destroyed a communal laundry room and
Cobra was
evicted for the 2nd time in a row. Our boy is 2 for 2. For some fucking reason unknown to anyone on this planet
Josh decided to forgive all of this after she left and it was only after
Jessica started talking shit on Twitch did our boy have enough,
he ended the relationship and told her not to return to his NEW Clocktower Trailer Demon Green & Black Satan Bell Mansion or the cops would be called or the shotgun would come out.
PHASE III: BLIZZARD OF BOG
I've been mentioning a "generous troll" most of this time and that person would be later ousted as
"Chris," who is some Discord homosexual who has paid for all trips.
Chris would
go on to purchase a 3rd ticket for a 3rd trip despite Josh's very public warning that she should not return, he did so under the guise of them "talking things out" but later that would be revealed as gay and wrong, he did it entirely for the content.
Jessica would spend most of this time, inbetween
having violent mental breakdowns on Twitch calling people niggers, getting drunk and passing out in the bathrub listening to Bjork and literally pissing in a fucking box like an animal, telling people that the tickets were canceled and she would not be going. In secret, like the devious whore creature that she is, she plotted differently. Unknown to
Chris, this trip would not be for love, as
Jessica had other plans. More
evil plans.
Jessica would arrive at
Josh's trailer not once, but twice, in an effort to get in. Once
Josh realized this, he called the police to have them escort her off the property but somewhere inbetween the call being made and the police arriving, she convinced him that she should come inside and they should talk some things out like civil adults.
Josh being an absolute fucking wetbrain invited this vampiric creature into his house under the premise that they'd do just that. As soon as the door flew open,
Jessica was plying her whore trade by trying to suck his dick. The cops arrived and
Cobra shoo'd them away, excited by the prospect of his penis being enthusaistically hammered by a 90 year old Tolkien creature. It should be noted that
Josh attempted to cover this entire visit up and repeatedly lied about her being there to his fans and trolls alike, so as to not look like fetid little mongoloid who wanted to get his dick sucked.
They say that
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned" but I would say that most women don't have a grasp on how meek and retarded they look in this circumstance compared to a woman with bipolar personality disorder and a phone.
Jessica would proceed to spend the next handful of days making his life a living hell by keeping him up at all hours hammered as fuck, drinking all of his liquor so he couldn't successfully lubricate his psyche for the mental anal rape she was deploying and baiting him extra hard into violent altercations so she could video tape/record it and blackmail him. There is various footage of
Josh's broken phone (Which he just got)
doors smashed in ala Bossman being rigged and losing it all,
Josh putting
a fucking shotgun to his lower chin and threatening to pull the trigger and all sorts of depressing and horrific shit. All of this, of course, recorded by Jessica with no concern in her face, no tears in her eyes, no fear to push her to leave. Just with the calm and measured look of a psychopath who's getting exactly what she wants. All of this, and I kid you not, was started over two arguments:
1.
Jessica asking retarded questions during the movie Tombstone (Starring Val Kilmer.)
2.
Josh whipping it out and cumming on her face.
Who knows what'll happen next? We now proceed cautiously into the next arc:
PHASE IV: MEMOIRES OF A BOG WHORE
Photos/Videos:
Featured Post does all the work.
