Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[highly regarded 420]

If there is one thing I've learned from watching lolcows, it's that anyone named Chris is Cain to a Josh's Abel.
Also, we need a better name for Chris. I know we floated the name "Mister Oinkers" before but there's gotta be something better. Personally, I suggest Paypig Chris.

I think we're using Oinkers because it's the relevant name linked to his latest appearances but if we're brainstorming names, I'd like to respectfully submit the alternate "Payfaggot Chris" for consideration.

 

[Alyxis]

He gave up on her that easily, they would have been a power couple...

No word of a lie, they're actually perfect for each other. People thought she'd be terrible, but ended up with Meg Mucklebones

 

[Your Landlord]

I think we're using Oinkers because it's the relevant name linked to his latest appearances but if we're brainstorming names, I'd like to respectfully submit the alternate "Payfaggot Chris" for consideration.

Oinkers is perfectly acceptable, considering "chris" is just as much if not more of a faggot than the real Mr. Oinkers.

No word of a lie, they're actually perfect for each other. People thought she'd be terrible, but ended up with Meg Mucklebones

Cobes getting into meth? TMDNWU

 

[squirrely dan]

No word of a lie, they're actually perfect for each other. People thought she'd be terrible, but ended up with Meg Mucklebones

I dont know, Josh is - despite his monumental social clumsiness - very much someone who doesnt want anyone to overstep his intermediate borders. When troles send him shit or slamdoink on him in stream chat, he can kind of deal with that. But having a raging BPD bitch with no regards of boundaries up in his face all the time is not a good fit for him.

I dont like this story arc She comes off as an Idea Guy to Josh's CWC.

 

[Jobama]

I also got into kingcobrajfs from danknet, he had some fantastic content and it's a shame he stopped uploading. Back then no one on the farms gave a fuck about cobra and his thread moved very slowly since most discussion and content was on the reddit (he only had a few pages on here until about 2020).

I remember I watched Danknet’s video in preparation for the MATI stream on Cobra. I really became a fan after that because of the cooking videos he showed. I did watch Gothic King Cobra in late 2019 because it used to get posted on /tv/ but I didn’t know he was really a lolcow back then. I wish I posted in this thread earlier so I would have more oldfag cred but I digress.

I think sometimes this thread has the opposite problem where people suck cobra's dick and regurgitate old memes instead of creating new content but I digress.

Yeah say what you will about the subreddit but it real was responsible for most of the Cobra OC. Like it or not it was the soul of the Cobra community. People here are still regurgitating stale memes like the double down loop as if it wasn’t old a year ago.

 

[Jeffy Jefferson]

at this point I feel like only Clint or the police could step in and I seriously doubt Clint believes Jessica to be a threat to Josh' life and law enforcement won't waste time on a boglim with a BPDemon dancing on his soul.
I don't wanna touch poo but I am genuinely worried for the boy. Things took a turn for the worse when normies started taking notice of Jord but boy have things escalated further than I ever imagined. I almost miss the duster arc.

Really the only way she could be stopped is 2 things. If Cobes himself calls the police and presses charges on her for trespassing followed by a restraining order on her if she does show up again. The other way is if paypig fags like Chris stop giving out free plane tickets but let’s be honest paypigs are just gonna keep doing what they do. Other than that there really isn’t anything to prevent her from doing this shit.

 

[ibeatmywife]

Yeah say what you will about the subreddit but it real was responsible for most of the Cobra OC. Like it or not it was the soul of the Cobra community. People here are still regurgitating stale memes like the double down loop as if it wasn’t old a year ago.

 

[often puzzled]

They're in Casper 10/2. JM posted something about NAL going back on 10/10 so that doesn't line up.

Maybe 10/10 is when she plans on coming back home? Or maybe NAL is a big fat ugly liar who thinks we're all retarded enough to believe she'd bother with a non direct flight to the middle of fucking nowhere to see a band that's will also be in Virginia

Messica's post wasn't clear and had a typo, but I think she was saying she was 10/10 (ten out of ten) sure that Jessica was going back to Casper, not that she was going back on 10/10. "Change" was probably supposed to be "chance," so "10/10 chance."



It's not clear, though.

 

[Cambiar]

I can't believe that retard thinks im oinkers

 

[Burd Turglar]

I've shared my distaste in Jersh entangling himself with Cobes in the past but maybe now is the time to involve himself. Of all the cows, Cobes is the only one I genuinely feel bad for.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

The main issue in going "Somebody has to do something!!!" is Josh himself. Outside of getting Jessica put on the no-fly list or something on par with the authorities getting involved(Or Jessica losing her CashApp account), Josh isn't going to do a damn thing. Josh is too nice, and too willing to try to make things work with Jessica, while also being too stubborn to admit that the Troles have a point this time.
As the saying goes, "you can lead a boglim to water, but you can't make him bathe in it."

 

[ibeatmywife]

The main issue in going "Somebody has to do something!!!" is Josh himself. Outside of getting Jessica put on the no-fly list or something on par with the authorities getting involved, Josh isn't going to do a damn thing. Josh is too nice, and too willing to try to make things work with Jessica, while also being too stubborn to admit that the Troles have a point this time.
As the saying goes, "you can lead a boglim to water, but you can't make him bathe in it."

Yea this is unfortunately true, he even said she can come again just not stay at his place he is basically too nice (and retarded) for his own good.

 

[Bifocal Lens]

The main issue in going "Somebody has to do something!!!" is Josh himself. Outside of getting Jessica put on the no-fly list or something on par with the authorities getting involved, Josh isn't going to do a damn thing. Josh is too nice, and too willing to try to make things work with Jessica, while also being too stubborn to admit that the Troles have a point this time.
As the saying goes, "you can lead a boglim to water, but you can't make him bathe in it."

Unfortunately, you're right, the only way to prevent Jessica from going back to Casper is to get her on a no-fly list.

She did go live in the airport on the first trip, but I don't think she'll make the same mistake again. Plus, this cheap ass bitch never has any mobile data to stream, so there's nothing we can do really. If she DID stream again, the best course of action would just be to donate/manipulate her so she'd get wasted at the airport bar, and, when inevitably she got denied boarding, she'd go in a sperg out and start yelling "it's not my fault, what did I do". I think it's a nice plan, I just don't think there will ever be another opportunity. One can dream.

And even then, I'm not 100% confident she wouldn't just take a Greyhound to Casper.

 

[SMOCAINE 4]

i'm impressed, seems like he practiced the anthem this year. drop d tuning is mdwu. if the rest of the new album is as good as this year's never forget anthem we're in for a stone cold classic.

I love how fast he’s going through the anthem. How many takes do you think it took him?

It seems like he believes that if he goes faster through the song he has a lower chance of screwing it up.

 

[AshtonsMoobs]

King Cobra JFS x Black Sabbath - "THE WIZARD" (+ War Pigs)

TMDWU

Edit: I'm not sure why it's not embedding or loading.
Here's the URL ---> https://youtu.be/XTB2VdRoIaE?si=LuUivqIkRKxjCaHz

 

[Molly Millions]

It genuinely isn't our responsibility to socially engineer a situation where Jessica runs afoul of the DHS. Josh needs to learn that he isn't owning the troles when he opens the door and allows degenerates to destroy his life.

 

[Mushroom King]

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. Please pay pigs, please don't. That shotgun won't dry fire twice.

View attachment 6408515

Christ almighty. "Nothing to do with Josh." Uh-huh. This just feels bad, I'm worried about him again. Circle of protection on you, boy! Someone will probably get hurt or get arrested, these visits have been ramping up in frequency and turbulence. He just can't turn down physical relations.

It genuinely isn't our responsibility to socially engineer a situation where Jessica runs afoul of the DHS. Josh needs to learn that he isn't owning the troles when he opens the door and allows degenerates to destroy his life.

Sex is his kryptonite. I fear the only thing that will end NAL's reign is another, slightly less fucked up woman.

 

[bookers]

I've shared my distaste in Jersh entangling himself with Cobes in the past but maybe now is the time to involve himself. Of all the cows, Cobes is the only one I genuinely feel bad for.

Jersh reached out to Clint when Cobra got kicked out of his house because he wanted to help set up a living arrangement for him.

Clint never responded though.

It's unclear if that was because
a: he never got the email
b: he already had other plans (the trailer)
c: clint thinks jersh is evil
or some mixture of the above

 

[Cambiar]

It genuinely isn't our responsibility to socially engineer a situation where Jessica runs afoul of the DHS. Josh needs to learn that he isn't owning the troles when he opens the door and allows degenerates to destroy his life.

True but have you considered how funny it would be if NAL got her shit rocked by an air marshal

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

It's a shame how now that he's actually a block away from the boglim trifecta of smoke shops, liquor stores, and fast food establishments that we'll never get any more outdoor adventures.
Buuuuuut I digress toobs. Cry not that it's over, but smile that it happened.

Just imagine what could be kiwibros.