Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
Eventide said:
In defense of Cobes, reptiles are clever creatures that love to explore, and will figure out how to escape their enclosure, if its not properly secured. Especially if they're cold (they seek warmth/sunlight) or if its around mating season (they will go search for a mate). So even if he hadn't taken it outside, Puff was bound to escape at some point, so way Cobes wouldn't have eventually messed up and left the enclosure open.
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I don't think it's a "Defense" at all. It only speaks to how immature and unprepared the guy was into having the animal that he didn't do the basic bits of research which would tell you "animals within tanks are endlessly wanting to escape them" which is basically rule 1 of any pet, the fact "Well it would've happened eventually with him" doesn't defend him. Like I make a point of being extremely cautious with how I handle my python when I take her out and will always keep her within arms reach when I let her out or let someone else handle her, I didn't even take her outside when we had the heatwave this year despite it being the right kind of climate for her down pat because of the off chance something could go wrong and I'd lose her (Despite being someone who's grown up with multiple pets and rarely lived without one of some variety).

I do hope he keeps to this "Not having pets" bit, I'd be worried about him having a fucking goldfish
 
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I wonder what brought about the poor me routine about Puff today of all days. Is it actually the 1 year anniversary of the retard taking his lizard outside in the cold? Boy just had to try to impress the other crackheads living in his building by having a lizard on his shoulder. Josh did absolutely everything in his power to make sure that lizard either ended up dead by his own hand or escaped due to his stupidity. He would let the lizard run around his apartment while he got black out drunk and watched Family Guy clips, not even keeping an eye on it. And that's not even mentioning all the straight up abusive stuff he did to it like blowing smoke into it's enclosure. We all knew that's where this entire thing was going though, anyone who thought otherwise is as retarded as Josh is. I remember when he first got Puff there were people actually suggesting that maybe having a pet would teach him some responsibility and would have a positive effect on Josh's life, absolutely ridiculous thing to think.

He will, of course, not miss an opportunity to farm sympathy well over a year later and toot his own horn about his "special" (ed) bond with animals that no one else could possibly understand.

Josh just absolutely refuses to take responsibility for anything. He talks about all the Christmas arguments with his family like they're an act of god and not his own doing. We're primed for an explosive holiday season. This year's season finale is gonna be one for the record books I think.
 
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Warlord came back and Cobes broke his phone. We are on a nostalgia run!
 
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Molly Millions said:
Yeah someone just low key happened to hack his phone on low key the day that he's low key angry about losing Puff and is low key plastered

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Nothing you can do about it

He low key can't make content until the low key fans send him money
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Let this be a lesson to all inanimate objects deciding to act cute today of all days
 
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He said (and I quote) “I’m done breaking my phones to be quite honest.” Like 8 phones ago.

Funny thing is his paranoia makes him think people hack his phone whenever it stops working right. One time Apple Music wouldn’t load an Ozzy song and his first conclusion was trolls had hacked his Apple Music account to prevent that one song from playing (somehow). His phone probably got stuck loading and he went bogshit on it thinking it was “hacked” and gave it a taste of the Ozzy Ring knuckle sandwich
 
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Slim Boglim said:
Funny thing is his paranoia makes him think people hack his phone whenever it stops working right.
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His stupidity does that. He keeps buying the same iPhone 8 right? He keeps buying seven year old refurbished phones and thinks the only reason why they are slow or bug out is because of the jealous supergenius hackers dedicated to stopping him from text messaging or whatever. It's very fuss-tating being KingCobraJFS
 
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