Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Abethedemon said:
Is he in any band or full-on musical project? I really want to hear some of his songs.
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As far as I know, he's not in a band yet. But after a little research, I did find an Amazon page where he already has an album up, which is supposedly his 7th. I have been able to find the other six, unfortunately.

https://www.amazon.com/ Willows-Sorrow-Explicit-King-Cobra/dp/B01HN7TVE8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1467297362&sr=8-2&keywords=willows+of+sorrow

(Had to edit the link since the Farms wouldn't let the link show up.)

KingCobra, rather than saving his money for a car or a real live sex doll, decided to spend his hard earned bux and donations on pipe tobacco.

 
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So KingCobra's videos have been kinda...boring, lately. Most of them have been videos of him reviewing tobacco products or food videos like the one below.

A few notes: His nails are dirty as fuck, and this is apparently at the Wendy's he works at. Can't believe he's eating with that metal claw thing on his finger....



 
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Ever wanted to show your support for a small time musician? Want to get something actually worthwhile out of a lolcow besides a cum encrusted clay medallion of a Pikachu crossed with Sonic? Well now's your chance, because the King is hawking t-shirts for a limited time only!




Here's the link to the store page. That shirt actually looks kind of comfortable, but he really needs to add a little bit more color than just that one shade of green that causes everything to blend together.

https://teespring.com/KingCobrasArmy#pid=76&cid=5845&sid=front
 
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Broseph Stalin said:
Ever wanted to show your support for a small time musician? Want to get something actually worthwhile out of a lolcow besides a cum encrusted clay medallion of a Pikachu crossed with Sonic? Well now's your chance, because the King is hawking t-shirts for a limited time only!




Here's the link to the store page. That shirt actually looks kind of comfortable, but he really needs to add a little bit more color than just that one shade of green that causes everything to blend together.

https://teespring.com/KingCobrasArmy#pid=76&cid=5845&sid=front
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How the fuck did he reach his goal?
 
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Broseph Stalin said:
Ever wanted to show your support for a small time musician? Want to get something actually worthwhile out of a lolcow besides a cum encrusted clay medallion of a Pikachu crossed with Sonic? Well now's your chance, because the King is hawking t-shirts for a limited time only!




Here's the link to the store page. That shirt actually looks kind of comfortable, but he really needs to add a little bit more color than just that one shade of green that causes everything to blend together.

https://teespring.com/KingCobrasArmy#pid=76&cid=5845&sid=front
Click to expand...
He has fucking autumn leafs stamps on it in place of a pot leaf, I'm fucking dead
 
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Got a bit of a big update here on the King, so brace yourselves for a few videos.

First and foremost, he just broke 4k subscribers and smokes a cigar to celebrate. As a cigar lover, I couldn't help but cringe and feel my knees go weak as he used a fucking bic lighter to light his cigar. He should probably stick to cigarettes, pipes, and maybe cigarillos. I couldn't tell if he inhaled or not, but if he didn't, well...that's at least one thing he did right.



Opening fan mail and getting some swag. He also reveals he has his hair in a braid.



Making some steak and eggs. He really needs to fucking wash his kitchen. Not clean, mind you. Wash. Like put that shit through a goddamn car wash. The steak looks alright, but those eggs...eugh...



A fan made a pretty sick painting of the King. The painting can be seen at around 1:38



Just an hour of him doing some shreddin' on his sick ax.

 
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Looks like some weens have been trying to get him fired from Wendy's. Here's hoping our Kiwis aren't involved, but hey, I wouldn't be surprised.

Also KingCobraJFS = confirmed for autism

 
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In this video, the King goes shooting in the middle of nowhere (But goddamn, that countryside tho) with two of his friends. Homeboy Scotty isn't among them, though. It's good to see he's letting off steam the good ol' fashion Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris way.


 
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Video highlights! (No, the cult is not the Farms, it's a reference to KingCobra's white knights)

- The King mentions going to a job placement service to find gainful employment after Wendy's fired him for obvious reasons.
- At around 4:34 he proclaims he has to take a mad shit, leaving us to listen to a troll video while he squeezes out a big ol' stank pickle. Apparently he takes really fast shits, since it only took him 2 minutes.
- The troll in the video brings up some valid points about why KingCobraJFS got fired, but KCJFS seems unphased.
- Apparently KCJFS's white knights have been going after the troll who made the video.
- KCJFS defends that he was "self-diagnosed by a doctor at the age of 13" for autism.
- He also defends the cleanliness of his apartment, saying that he keeps it pretty clean for being a bachelor.
- He rambles about his job at Wendy's and how he defended his manager after she bitched him out and a customer brought up some valid concerns about her behavior.


 
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Thread has been quiet for awhile. Thought I'd share these 2 things.

1. Claims Home Boy Scotty's nephew had his Xbox One was stolen on Christmas no less. No mention of anything else being stolen at all. I'm sure if it's true it wasn't a inside job at all. So he started a Gofundme.


2. This just for the hell of it.


 
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Did this go completely unnoticed?

http://metro.co.uk/2016/11/16/man-c...its-he-ripped-it-during-vigorous-sex-6262047/

aw-stolen-sex-doll.jpg


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stolen-sex-doll-post-3.jpg

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This guy has to start wearing sunglasses at all times, yeesh.

Edit: I also can't believe I looked it up, but there are entire communities dedicated to how to repair silicone vaginas.
 
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