Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Broseph Stalin]

Guy has to start wearing sunglasses at all times, yeesh.

Edit: I also can't believe I looked it up, but there are entire communities dedicated to how to repair silicone vaginas.

There are people who repair that shit as well as "Real Dolls" for a living. I remember seeing it in a documentary that got linked during the whole Peter Coffin craze here on the Farms. The guy they interviewed that repaired the dolls made pretty good money, but the fact that people would shell out upwards to a thousand bucks for their creepy looking sex dolls was a little disturbing.

 

[Achaemenes]

There are people who repair that shit as well as "Real Dolls" for a living. I remember seeing it in a documentary that got linked during the whole Peter Coffin craze here on the Farms. The guy they interviewed that repaired the dolls made pretty good money, but the fact that people would shell out upwards to a thousand bucks for their creepy looking sex dolls was a little disturbing.

The guy spent over $1k on the doll and he said he already bought another one to send to this guy. He said he bought a brand new one this time; I guess it wasn't brand new last time.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

The guy spent over $1k on the doll and he said he already bought another one to send to this guy. He said he bought a brand new one this time; I guess it wasn't brand new last time.

bought a brand new one this time; I guess it wasn't brand new last time.

I guess it wasn't brand new last time.

wasn't brand new

Oh, dear God...

 

[Achaemenes]

Oh, dear God...

If you saw it the fingers were fucked up and the knees were a bit torn up.

Before he got the sex doll the same guy sent him a pocket pussy which he used but lied and said he didn't.

After using it he cut it up and said he thought it was weird but then apologized on video that he disrespected a fan. So he grabbed it out of the trash and taped it back up with his wand tape, bleached it, and fucked it again saying it didn't fuck the same.

 

[Achaemenes]

Is he in any band or full-on musical project? I really want to hear some of his songs.

Here's a fan made music video.

Here is some more of his music.

http://web.tunecore.com/music/king_cobra

Also, I'm pretty sure he's on iTunes.

*EDIT*

If there is anything that you should see regarding this guy it's this video. He decides to dye his hair black, get's it all over himself, and then gets a call from work because he forgot he was on shift.

Screencaps from video:

Spoiler

Spoiler

Also, there's a video where he almost burned his house down trying to deep fry fries.


Some more info:

His Twitter: https://twitter.com/gothickingcobr4 (Though he doesn't use it much. However his youtube likes show up here.)
Starting Lolcow Wiki: https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/KingCobraJFS

A few people have his videos archived I'll try to find that later it was recently made private and there is also a jack off video he posted to "troll the trolls" He said that by watching him jack off on camera he won but making trolls gay for watching it or something. Still can't find this one...


Also, broseph can you update the OP with all the additions I've made?

 

[Broseph Stalin]

Also, broseph can you update the OP with all the additions I've made?

OP has been updated. Thanks for all this info, man. I greatly appreciate the help!

 

[meatslab]

Imagine if this guy and Amanda Baggs had a child.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

Updated the OP again with a video that @Achaemenes sent. Josh tries to deep fry french fries and it almost ends in disaster.

 

[bacterium]

Updated the OP again with a video that @Achaemenes sent. Josh tries to deep fry french fries and it almost ends in disaster.

A few things:
That looks like crude oil.
I fully expected him to try to throw water on it.
Put down the damn phone, turn off the stove and deal with it.
And damn, those were greasy as hell.

 

[Deez Nuts]

Spoiler

*EDIT*

If there is anything that you should see regarding this guy it's this video. He decides to dye his hair black, get's it all over himself, and then gets a call from work because he forgot he was on shift.

Screencaps from video:

Holy shit that video is the best. The "oh fuck I missed my shift" starts at about 16 min in. I jumped around after that it's mostly him fucking around on itunes until he dyes his hair. The hair dye part starts at 35. Anyone wondering why he smeared it all over himself it was in an effort to dye his eyebrows and upper lip hair. I was really hoping it would show how much was left on his skin after he tried washing it off and I really hope he went to work looking all fucked up.

 

[Achaemenes]

I found an archive of the old GothicKingCobra52 videos. (The current archive includes PeachMonster666. A fake troll Josh created to Troll himself.)

Here is the playlist: http://tinyurl.com/peachmonster666 since it doesn't format properly I had to use an url shortener.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

I found an archive of the old GothicKingCobra52 videos. (The current archive includes PeachMonster666. A fake troll Josh created to Troll himself.)

Here is the playlist:

Spoiler

http://tinyurl.com/peachmonster666

Holy shit, it's all over again.

But I gotta give Josh credit where credit is due. He at least tried to disguise his voice which might work if one is accustomed to his lazy stoner-esque droning or hasn't been listening to him long enough to notice his inflection or hear him try to act edgy and dark.

 

[Achaemenes]

Holy shit, it's all over again.

But I gotta give Josh credit where credit is due. He at least tried to disguise his voice which might work if one is accustomed to his lazy stoner-esque droning or hasn't been listening to him long enough to notice his inflection or hear him try to act edgy and dark.

I feel like you guys have been missing out. There's a lot I'm probably forgetting off the top of my head.

Speaking of, are you guys aware of the onion/mayo treatment for his trick or teria? He literally rubs onions and mayonnaise on his head and says it's working, that his hair is growing back?

Speaking of, he actually mentions it in today's video..

Here he is applying the onion.

Here's another angle for the full effect.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

Aw shit, I was gonna post that video lol. I've heard of his onion treatment, but I'm highly skeptical that it's actually working. He's gotta be using Bosley or something like that but he's just afraid to admit it. The onion treatment, believe it or not, is apparently a thing not made up by Josh himself. Google "Onion hair growth treatments" and you'll be surprised.

Also in the video he doesn't really talk much about what his new job will be (I didn't get too far into it, to be honest). But he pretty much reminisces about his days at Wendy's, how he defended his abusive boss, discovered that select Wendy's locations sell breakfast, and talked about ways for Burger King to bring back customers, which included breakfast till 4 p.m. (Meh), bringing back cinnaminies (Never had them), and bringing back the Shake 'Em Up fries (They really do need to bring that back. Shit was BASED).

 

[Achaemenes]

Aw shit, I was gonna post that video lol. I've heard of his onion treatment, but I'm highly skeptical that it's actually working. He's gotta be using Bosley or something like that but he's just afraid to admit it. The onion treatment, believe it or not, is apparently a thing not made up by Josh himself. Google "Onion hair growth treatments" and you'll be surprised.

Also in the video he doesn't really talk much about what his new job will be (I didn't get too far into it, to be honest). But he pretty much reminisces about his days at Wendy's, how he defended his abusive boss, discovered that select Wendy's locations sell breakfast, and talked about ways for Burger King to bring back customers, which included breakfast till 4 p.m. (Meh), bringing back cinnaminies (Never had them), and bringing back the Shake 'Em Up fries (They really do need to bring that back. Shit was BASED).

I guess they've actually done some studies...
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12126069

Alopecia areata is a patchy, non-scarring hair loss condition. Any hair-bearing surface may be involved, and different modalities of treatment have been used to induce hair regrowth. This study was designed to test the effectiveness of topical crude onion juice in the treatment of patchy alopecia areata in comparison with tap water. The patients were divided into two groups. The first group [onion juice treated] consisted of 23 patients, 16 males (69.5%) and 7 females (30.5%). Their ages ranged between 5-42 years with a mean of 22.7 years. The second group [control; tap-water-treated] consisted of 15 patients, 8 males (53.3%) and 7 females (46.6%). Their ages ranged between 3-35 years with a mean of 18.3 years. The two groups were advised to apply the treatment twice daily for two months. Re-growth of terminal coarse hairs started after two weeks of treatment with crude onion juice. At four weeks, hair re-growth was seen in 17 patients (73.9%), and, at six weeks, the hair re-growth was observed in 20 patients (86.9%) and was significantly higher among males (93.7%) compared to females (71.4%) P<0.0001. In the tap-water treated-control group, hair re-growth was apparent in only 2 patients (13%) at 8 weeks of treatment with no sex difference. The present study showed that the use of crude onion juice gave significantly higher results with regard to hair re-growth than did tap water (P<0.0001), and that it can be an effective topical therapy for patchy alopecia areata.

Well fuck me... Whatever, either way. This shit isn't working for him. He's either one of the unlucky few or he doesn't seem to be sticking to the routine consistently enough. It's obvious he's balder and balder in every video.

 

[ShittyRecolor]

I should have put this in the OP, but here's a recent video of him celebrating a "troll account" being taken down by YouTube. According to KingCobra himself, the troll was stealing his videos, so either this guy was a ween or a failed attempt at making a KingCobraJFS archive. The video is pretty much 40+ minutes of him shredding (With a few small breaks here and there) before deciding to stop for a smoke break and making a mating call at around 41:03. He also seems to love Domino's Pizza.

That cover of Crazy Train was kind of good, would have been better if he didn't sing.

Well, that's not bad for someone who's been playing guitar for a couple months! With some patience and hard work he might become a pretty competent musi- wait, he's been practicing for at least four years? Oh...

Spoiler: Recommended soundtrack for the thread

 

[Achaemenes]

Well, that's not bad for someone who's been playing guitar for a couple months! With some patience and hard work he might become a pretty competent musi- wait, he's been practicing for at least four years? Oh...

Spoiler: Recommended soundtrack for the thread

Has it only been 4 years? No way... At least should be in bold. Maybe it's because I've been listening to the star spangled banner or whatever every month or so with no improvement.. It's really starting to take a toll on me.

He really should do a vocal cover of that song.. He does do vocal covers.. Surprised he hasn't done King Cobra yet.

Also, here's the highly edited version of the jack off video he posted on xvideos or whatever to troll the trolls.. The uncensored one still exists, or so we're all told.

 

[tangerine juice]

he appears to have strabismus, which is caused by a muscle malfunction in the eyes. and i remember seeing the trailer for the documentary on this guy but i never watched it, pretty interesting stuff if you ask me, im still surprised he's so talented does he have a bandcamp or anything?

 

[Achaemenes]

he appears to have strabismus, which is caused by a muscle malfunction in the eyes. and i remember seeing the trailer for the documentary on this guy but i never watched it, pretty interesting stuff if you ask me, im still surprised he's so talented does he have a bandcamp or anything?

No. He says bandcamp is too complicated and hasn't bothered giving it an honest shot. Instead he's on iTunes I think as well as tunecore.

 

[CatFace]

I guess they've actually done some studies...
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12126069


Well fuck me... Whatever, either way. This shit isn't working for him. He's either one of the unlucky few or he doesn't seem to be sticking to the routine consistently enough. It's obvious he's balder and balder in every video.

Once upon a time I had a roomate who used onion do encourage hair growth but, as the study says, you need the juice of the onion. Rubbing a slice of onion on your head only succeeds at making you look like an idiot.

You can get a cheese grater at the dollar store. He could grate it up and then put it in his hair so there is more juice. Don't know if it'd work but it would be less stupid.

Though that's optimistic thinking considering this is a guy fucks used sex toys.

P.s thank you for the hair dying video. I needed that in my life.