Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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How do you fuck up a McDonalds foodhack? The way Josh fucks up most things. Throwing in fish for no reason and also a bunch of sauces that don't go together. And also extra salt because part of Josh's subconscious is pleading for the sweet release of death at this point.

Also, this is a pet peeve of mine. But I can't stand when people call soda "refreshing." That shit is pure acid and corn syrup. That's not "refreshing." If you can't differentiate between "refreshing" and "blowing out your dopamine receptors with toxic slop," that says a lot about your palette. Its like calling a Walmart "extravagant." Tell me you're white trash without telling me you're white trash.
 
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bookers said:
Yeah I've been keeping tabs intermittently on Cobra and just looking at him now compared to a couple of months ago he looks FAT.
And not just his body - his face looks fatter. He has fat face.
His voice also seems different like its a little deeper and also more lispy, which I would guess is probably tooth decay related.
Also looking positively unkempt, although I suppose that's normal.
His necklace is cool though, super goth twu.

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Also lmao. i love this dood.
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He’s looking as gourd-like as ever, never seen a man with a head shaped so perfectly for storing water
 

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Pink Hotel On The Corner said:
It's when he stops eating food all together and just drinks 24/7 is when his body will really begin to shut down. As long as he is eating something
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that's why we need to get him back on the mead arc or entice him with a smoothie arc. Imagine what horrors he could put into a smoothie. Like an entire cake.
 
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Statix_Shark said:
Is everyone in the thread former/current alcoholics? TWU
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I've seen a lot of alcoholism in my family, but that has pretty much nothing to do with my interest in Josh. The alcoholism is just one small piece of the puzzle.

My interest in Josh in similar to Cyraxx. It stems from the fact he reminds me of a lot of the white trash goobers that I grew up around. People who are just stubborn, gross, retarded, lazy, insufferable, and refuse to do anything right. There is something cathartic about seeing someone like that ridiculed on a massive scale. Its like some kind of justice for everyone these guys annoyed throughout their life.

And just to be clear, this is not some kind of jab against rural people in general. It's specifically the bottom 1% of the rural population.
 
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Is he definitely getting fat, or is he just getting older and less able to get away with drinking before the bloat sets in? Aren't his feet swollen at this point too (shout out sodium and dehydration)?

Between the teeth, drinking, and cardiovascular issues it's a race to see what kills him at this point. It's actually remarkable just how unhealthy his life is, if he smoked regularly too he'd have the full bingo card.

handsareblack2 said:
Most of what Cobes does is boring compared to some other cows. I don’t know why some people invest themselves into his downfall. I literally can’t take somebody who misspells “generic” as “genetic” seriously.
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Yeah well I think BMJ is a dumb lolcow who basically just acts like an average black person from the projects, so.
Dude can't even cast spells, can't do dank food hacks, and he definitely isn't a goth rockstar who can play the star spangled banner on electric guitar. Couldn't even dream of it.

Although yeah NGL modern cobra is a shadow of his former self. He's a boglim past his prime. He used to actually do things though.
 
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handsareblack2 said:
Most of what Cobes does is boring compared to some other cows. I don’t know why some people invest themselves into his downfall. I literally can’t take somebody who misspells “generic” as “genetic” seriously.
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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand KingCobra. His humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of social sciences most of his jokes and gender relations advice will go over a typical persons head. There's also Josh's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Josh truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Josh existencial catchphrase "Fuck Rape," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Josh's genius unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a King Cobra tattoo And no, you cannot see it. It's for the of age, alive, consenting, non related ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
 
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FreakyFred said:
Also, this is a pet peeve of mine. But I can't stand when people call soda "refreshing." That shit is pure acid and corn syrup. That's not "refreshing." If you can't differentiate between "refreshing" and "blowing out your dopamine receptors with toxic slop," that says a lot about your palette. Its like calling a Walmart "extravagant." Tell me you're white trash without telling me you're white trash.
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tell me you havent had genetic mtn dew or sick drink combos without telling me you havent had genetic mtn dew and sick drink combos
 
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I think it's fascinating, cause sometimes you see people, that are really fucked up, they're alcoholics living on the street and you think to yourself, how does one fuck up their own life this much, that they get into this situation.

And we've been able to see it happen with cobes over the years in real time. Without Clint, he might already be on the street.
 
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FreakyFred said:
How do you fuck up a McDonalds foodhack? The way Josh fucks up most things. Throwing in fish for no reason and also a bunch of sauces that don't go together. And also extra salt because part of Josh's subconscious is pleading for the sweet release of death at this point.
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He is retarded. He likes fish. He has the culinary skills of a toddler mixing together a bowl of slop.
 
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