Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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I'd imagine if you were well behaved and vaguely well groomed, you'd get pulled aside and talked to about shaping up if you were a little too sloppy in a bar. If he's getting 86'd it means he's already pants falling down drunk, reeks of booze before you can get a good look at him, and I'm sure his trolls calling doesn't help either.

Like I'd argue a "normal" lush would get second chances, as they're a reliable source of income after all. Jorp has all sorts of extra hard mode shit working against him (all varying degrees of his choice): he looks like a vietnam war era hobo, he smells like one too, he's rambling into his phone to a youtube live stream which makes weens call in and start shit to be part of the show. He doesn't seem to be a big tipper, or a tipper at all depending on the service.

I also wonder how much his whole "knives are badass" ethos plays into that. I love Cobes but if I didn't know him from Adam and he started getting all pissy and yelling about trolls (who are also spamming my business phone all to hell) and he's dripping with knives he probably plays with to show off how cool he is? Yeah I'd want him out too, even if they're shitty gas station chinesium.

Like yeah we know he's harmless, but I don't blame local businesses for not wanting anything to do with him. Which sucks, because the dark lord out in public is the funniest shit he's ever produced.
 
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lebean said:
Hah! You just totally reminded me that he's indeed banned from the Albertson's.

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(Possibly last known footage of him in a grocery store courtesy Yourfavoriteson's boring documentary..)

If he's going to Door Dash an Albertson's pre-made sandwich that's marked up, I just can't understand why he won't just assemble one himself with the same deli ingredients that would last 5 sandwiches.

Then again, I am also reminded of his financial understanding of Boglinomics.
The boy yearns for that motz, that proshootz, a real Sangweech. . but settles for the sad-wich instead.
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Did he mix the food up at the grocery store and cause a disaster before he left?
 
stillgay said:
Did he mix the food up at the grocery store and cause a disaster before he left?
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The footage is short so who knows, but we got a kickass grocery list out of it.
list.webp
 
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Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
When he said he hasn't been hungry lately and he's been spending most of his days sleeping, it made me think of how dogs will refuse to eat when they know they're about to die. I don't want to lose Cobra, bros. :(
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Truth be told, my biggest fears for Cobra would be the (1) high risk for complications due to untreated liver and kidney disease (renal failure), compounded with the (2) even higher risk of sepsis and septic shock secondary to (3) an untreated bacterial infection from periodontal disease.
 
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Speaking of locales, i was just browsing the map of Casper again- he says in the Hamburger Chili Cheese dog video he used Jackalope delivery to get some cigs and white claws, presumably from the corner store NEXT TO the Hamburger stand he doordashes from later, which are literally 900 ft as the crow flies from his trailer.
 
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SeizureRobot5000 said:
At one point the boy stank so bad of alcohol that they 86'd him
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They reviled and threw Van Gogh out of places, too. One day my boy will be vindicated through death as one of the greatest artists of this century and then, and only then, in the year of our jord 2073, will Albertsons issue the well deserved apology press kit.

Feel free to turn that idea into some apocalyptic hellscape fever dream video.
Detective Carey said:
The footage is short so who knows, but we got a kickass grocery list out of it.
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Cobra is the kind of man who fucks up spelling “Cheese” correctly the second time he writes it down. I do not know how the fuck he thought “Onginal” was even phonetically related to “Original” but alright whatever.

I seriously hope Cobra writes his story about his magical demon snake and we get the unedited version because that’s going to be a chefs kiss moment
 
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'Ole Dente said:
They reviled and threw Van Gogh out of places, too. One day my boy will be vindicated through death as one of the greatest artists of this century and then, and only then, in the year of our jord 2073, will Albertsons issue the well deserved apology press kit.

Feel free to turn that idea into some apocalyptic hellscape fever dream video.

Cobra is the kind of man who fucks up spelling “Cheese” correctly the second time he writes it down. I do not know how the fuck he thought “Onginal” was even phonetically related to “Original” but alright whatever.

I seriously hope Cobra writes his story about his magical demon snake and we get the unedited version because that’s going to be a chefs kiss moment
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I'm thinking that Cobra Dragon story is just going to be mostly copy and pasted ChatGPT prompts that were "responces" to Josh asking it, "Writ a darjk gothick stroy abot king cobras and dragonjms fuising like from Dragoin Ball".

He already uses AI to make his music now, so I'm thinking he discovered it can write books too and he's abusing it. A book to top his magnum opus, "A Special Blonde", it will not be.
 
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Detective Carey said:
I'd imagine if you were well behaved and vaguely well groomed, you'd get pulled aside and talked to about shaping up if you were a little too sloppy in a bar. If he's getting 86'd it means he's already pants falling down drunk, reeks of booze before you can get a good look at him, and I'm sure his trolls calling doesn't help either.
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Just remember, the epic fallout on his birthday night stream, he considered himself only a little drunk. He was likely shit faced, incoherent and stumbling all over the place, with his beaten up hat on at a jaunty angle.
 
Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
When he said he hasn't been hungry lately and he's been spending most of his days sleeping, it made me think of how dogs will refuse to eat when they know they're about to die. I don't want to lose Cobra, bros. :(
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Maybe it’s time for his dad to take him to see the rabbits?

I know it’s painful but it’s crueler to let a pet lolcow go on in misery.
 
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