Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Streams from today:
I had to screen record because they wouldn’t download.

Start:
  • His wand store is making money
  • The person who buys the staff will get a free signed tshirt which was too small for him
  • His wands sold out quickly
  • Not getting evicted just not allowed stay any longer
3:35:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Shills his staff
7:07:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Still shilling his want
  • Free hand written note with each want
  • Not making new wands because he’s getting kicked out. Mighty set up his work station next to a window with a fan in the next place for air filtration.
  • Back to shilling his staff. Might go down to $224.
12:34:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs.
17:00:
  • Talking on the phone to a cute of age fan girl
20:00:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Talking about getting evicted
22:56:
  • Muh autism
25:10:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Going out for a smoke. Talking about the ashtray he bought for outside.
27:16:
  • Taing bells down off the ceiling off stream
  • Shows off the bells. ‘His decor’
31:50:
  • Shills his people suck I need a beer shirt
  • Free shirt which was too small for him for whoever buys the staff
  • Leaves to go out for a smoke
39:40:
  • Returns and ends the stream

Latest Chillin stream. It was a short one so I’m just doing a summary instead of timestamps.

  • Sold all his wands including his staff
  • Has enough materials to make new wands except the sticks so he’s not going to make a new batch of wands soon.
  • Goes out for a smoke.
  • Shows off the people suck I need a beer shirt the lucky person who bought the super expensive staff is getting
  • Looks for a sharpie
  • Finds the sharpie and signs the front and back
  • Gets a chat asking why he got an STD test when he’s not fucking. Says he may eventually meet a clean of age goth girl who wants to have sex with him
  • Ignores a chat asking what it was that made him get rid of the talk to text.
  • Shows off the flaws in his purple wand and the staff
  • Going to do a burger stream tomorrow to celebrate Halloween.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
View attachment 1696409

View attachment 1696414

Streams from today:
I had to screen record because they wouldn’t download.
View attachment 1696423

Start:
  • His wand store is making money
  • The person who buys the staff will get a free signed tshirt which was too small for him
  • His wands sold out quickly
  • Not getting evicted just not allowed stay any longer
3:35:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Shills his staff
7:07:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Still shilling his want
  • Free hand written note with each want
  • Not making new wands because he’s getting kicked out. Mighty set up his work station next to a window with a fan in the next place for air filtration.
  • Back to shilling his staff. Might go down to $224.
12:34:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs.
17:00:
  • Talking on the phone to a cute of age fan girl
20:00:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Talking about getting evicted
22:56:
  • Muh autism
25:10:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Going out for a smoke. Talking about the ashtray he bought for outside.
27:16:
  • Taing bells down off the ceiling off stream
  • Shows off the bells. ‘His decor’
31:50:
  • Shills his people suck I need a beer shirt
  • Free shirt which was too small for him for whoever buys the staff
  • Leaves to go out for a smoke
39:40:
  • Returns and ends the stream

Latest Chillin stream. It was a short one so I’m just doing a summary instead of timestamps.
View attachment 1696443

  • Sold all his wands including his staff
  • Has enough materials to make new wands except the sticks so he’s not going to make a new batch of wands soon.
  • Goes out for a smoke.
  • Shows off the people suck I need a beer shirt the lucky person who bought the super expensive staff is getting
  • Looks for a sharpie
  • Finds the sharpie and signs the front and back
  • Gets a chat asking why he got an STD test when he’s not fucking. Says he may eventually meet a clean of age goth girl who wants to have sex with him
  • Ignores a chat asking what it was that made him get rid of the talk to text.
  • Shows off the flaws in his purple wand and the staff
  • Going to do a burger stream tomorrow to celebrate Halloween.
Click to expand...
I’m a newcomer to Cobes (thanks, Kate Winslet!). Can someone tell me what the ‘DTTS coming in nicely tubes’ is? I have figured out a lot of the Cobes esoterica, but this one has me stumped. I think it’s got something to do with talk to text which he has turned off (which truth be told I don’t understand either—WHERE did he turn it off?).
 
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deputydogshit2.0 said:
I’m a newcomer to Cobes (thanks, Kate Winslet!). Can someone tell me what the ‘DTTS coming in nicely tubes’ is? I have figured out a lot of the Cobes esoterica, but this one has me stumped. I think it’s got something to do with talk to text which he has turned off (which truth be told I don’t understand either—WHERE did he turn it off?).
Click to expand...
He is using a streaming service called Streamlabs that allows donations. Those donations can be sent with a message to the streamer that is usually read out loud by a robot voice. This is called TTS (text to speech). But most of the donations Josh gets are from "his trolls" and are "people talking shit". Thus, he put two and two together and dubbed it "DTTS" (Donate to talk shit).
Now when he gets a donation, even when it's positive he will say "Donate to talk shit is coming in nicely toobs". The "coming in nicely" is something he has said about many things, mainly his hair growing back (which it isn't). Him "turning off DTTS" is referring to the fact that he still takes donations, and the message appears on stream, but the robot voice that reads it aloud is turned off.
 
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It's also worth a chuckle to note that I don't think Josh actually knows what TTS acronym stands for. When he gets a message that says DTTS he knows it means his phrase donate to talk shit. However, when he gets a message with the original TTS acronym, he will always call it talk to text or speech to text, which would be the opposite function.
 
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My money is on trailer park for his next place.

It’s actually perfect, a minimal investment (for his father) and a low monthly cost, gets him a place he can smoke/paint in and generally trash to his hearts content without having to worry about landlords.
He wouldn’t even have to worry about his noisy late night guitar sessions, unless he throws a literal concert, plus he’d fit right in.
 
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Latest Chillin stream:

Start:
  • Warlord is gonna be a daddy again
  • Got some mango ales
  • Going to do a ouija board session in the graveyard and make a spooky burger for Halloween
4:39:
  • Muted DTTS coming in nicely toobs
6:57:
  • Tells Warlord not to smoke in his apartment
8:00:
  • When he lost his job he started his wand business so something better will happen to him now that he’s losing his apartment
9:49:
  • Regrets not cleaning his apartment before filming the King Cobra documentary
  • He’s going to keep making wands.
  • He took the bells off the ceiling pipe so that’s some tidying he’s done.
13:00:
  • Rick and Morty tactical soap ad
  • Talking about wands
16:33:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Clint is going to help him clean the apartment
18:18:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
19:10:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • He’s going to vote because it’s his right as an American and the troops fought for his right to vote.
22:58:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
25:25:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Incel rant
26:19:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Talking about Chaturbate
27:45:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
28:42:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
31:55:
  • He is a successful entrepreneur!
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
34:03:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Terminator impression
  • Talking about a Dodge viper they saw. If Kobes won the lottery he would buy Clint a hot rod
38:47:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • What Kobes would do if he won the lottery
39:53:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Talking about respecting women with Warlord
44:00:
  • Starts cat calling video
  • KingSoapra JFS!
46:02:
  • Men are simp shamed for complimenting women
46:37:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
47:54:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Gender relations rant
51:08:
  • Muted DDTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Gender relations rant
1:05:00:
  • Warlord goes out for a smoke
  • Wands will be posted soon once he gets his money transferred
1:08:00:
  • Warlord returns

New BCV:

Night stream:

Start:
  • Guitar shredding
3:26:
  • Halloween mukbang from Hardees
  • Medium coke because he’s a medium
  • Monster bacon burger and regular fries even though he ordered curly fries
7:17:
  • Put fries in his burger
  • They gave him diet coke instead of regular coke but he’s not mad because it’s a pandemic.
10:09:
  • Eats his burger like an apple
  • Won’t be doing many more fast food reviews until he gets his housing situation sorted
  • Talking about eating burgers like apples
  • He’s certain they gave him Diet Coke
14:50:
  • Talking about how great french fries on a burger is
16:50:
  • Complaining about the Diet coke
20:00:
  • Talking about how cool his wands are
  • He’s very pleased his Halloween batch sold out so quick
  • Complaining about the Diet Coke
21:50:
  • Men drinking Diet Coke is challenging toxic masculinity!
24:45:
  • He’s making a gross burger for Halloween with brains and bugs and stuff.
  • Talking about his Phantom costume
27:00:
  • Gender relations rant - Cat calling and fat shaming.
28:41:
  • He loves his body. Doesn’t care if he’s fat. Loves Cheeseburgers. Wants to just enjoy food without being judged.
30:00:
  • Talking about people complaining about his gender relations rants
  • Going to make a new teespring t-shirt soon.
  • Incels, also kind of a gender relations rant. He would rather be an incel than a simp and that’s what his new t-shirt is going to say.
33:49:
  • On teespring creating his incel tshirt
35:07:
  • Poot
36:04:
  • Poot
36:46:
  • Poot
38:30:
  • Google’s how incel is spelled so he doesn’t have a repeat misspelled merch incident
  • Reads the definition of incel
42:17:
  • Shills people suck I need a beer shirt
  • Poot
46:30:
  • 18.9K subscribers!

He did it again LMFAO!
Simp THEN Incel.png
 
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Latest stream:
Start:
  • Hanging out in the cemetery
  • Has his ouija board with him
  • He has one ale with him, that’s all he’s drinking
  • Pours some beer out for the graveyard spirits and half a cigarette
  • He has his phantom mask with him too
5:00:
  • Starts using the Ouija board
  • Says it’s still working even if the planchet doesn’t move
  • He asked for good Halloween weather and he got it. Praise Cobra’s magic.
8:21:
  • Says he can feel them trying to take his energy
9:51:
  • He’s doing it during the daytime because the cemetery closes at 5 now because some dude tried to dig up his grandma.
11:47:
  • Puts on his mask
  • The hat is not part of his costume but he likes it anyway
  • He likes the mask because he can breath through itt and wear it with his glasses
  • Takes the mask off
13:46:
  • He will find a new place to live. He’s set the wheels in motion already.
14:58:
  • Plan]chet hasn’t moved but he can feel the spirits
  • Pours more beer out for the dead
17:10:
  • Talking about the graveyard
  • Talking about some YouTuber’s Elvira costume
18:42:
  • You shouldn’t bring a ouija board into a cemetery because spirits can follow you home. He’s okay with having ghosts though.
20:31:
  • Tries to summon a banshee
25:00:
  • Claiming responsibility for the nice weather they are having in Kasper today
  • He’s not a litterbug so he is only having one beer and he’s going to throw it in the trash once he’s done.
27:40:
  • Smoking a cigarette in the graveyard is so Goth
30:31:
  • There are some Saunders buried in this graveyard
  • Talks about another cemetery where his relatives are buried.
  • He finds cemeteries relaxing, maybe it’s a Goth thing maybe not
33:15:
  • KingSoapraJFS! Also works for lesbians!
39:45:
  • Talking about how old the grave next to him is.
42:45:
  • Talking about the gravestones being very nicely made
  • Doesn’t know if he caught any EVP’s on camera
46:35:
  • Tries to summon Zuzu
  • Tries to summon Satan
  • Tries to get an EVP
50:30:
  • It starts to get windy so he ends the stream.
Edit:
New BCV :
 
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Here’s his latest streams:

Sound is terrible for this video.


Start:
  • Making a Halloween burger
  • Texas toast of course
  • Bone sucking BBQ sauce rub
  • Mixed bugs
  • Brains
  • Bacon & Cheese
  • So much butter
5:38:
  • Starts cooking burger
8:15:
  • Cutting the cheese
8:58:
  • Beer for while cooking
12:24:
  • Cooking bacon
13:49:
  • Bacon rub
17:04:
  • Bacon is done
18:10:
  • Burger assembly
19:39:
  • Microwaves it to melt the cheese
21:11:
  • Bugs on burger
25:57:
  • Brains on burger
27:44:
  • Eats the rest of the brains from the can
30:56:
  • Finished burger
33:29:
  • Points the camera at the burger on his bed while he goes out for a smoke
37:30:
  • Returns
38:08:
  • Eats the burger like an apple
  • Says it’s tasty and packed with protein
45:39:
  • Finished burger
  • Sits on stream chewing for the rest of the video


Start:
  • Talking about his burger video
  • His apartment search is going good
  • Pours dregs from beer cans into his cup
3:40:
  • Talking about his new incel shirt (Hasn’t realized it should say I'd rather be a simp than an incel’ not ‘I’d rather be a simp then an incel’ yet and it’s still up on his Teespring)
  • Talking about being evicted
  • Alex is there off screen
7:00:
  • Talking about being evicted for spray painting wands.
  • Says he may have found a place that doesn’t care if he spray paints indoors once the place is ventilated
  • May get a blue tarp to put on the floor for when he’s painting.
9:20:
  • KingSoapra JFS!
  • Chicks dig his Venom costume
10:18:
  • Political correctness and holidays rant
12:40:
  • The money he got for the last batch of wands is enough for him to rent a new place
  • Talking about troll comments on his cemetery video
16:30:
  • He’ll keep making wands and has found an apartment where he will be allowed to paint the wands indoors
  • Trolls
  • Muh autism
19:03:
  • Says he saw a shadow figure when he was filming his cemetery ouija board video
20:26:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
21:52:
  • Troll rant
22:47:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Troll rant
24:00:
  • Reading the comments on his Halloween burger video
25:17:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Troll rant
30:41:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Cleaning his pipe
33:18:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
35:00:
  • Says his cooking video is still processing and then cuts the stream.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
  • Bugs on burger
  • Brains on burger
  • Eats the rest of the brains from the can
Click to expand...
You have to give him credit, for a Halloween burger to have real brains and bugs on it and actually eat it. Bravo Josh, truly disgusting.
I'm finding it impossible for me to sit through his phone videos because of the audio. The audio has been shit ever since he got his "new" iphone. Is the microphone in it broken or do you think the hole is filled with tobacco and tactical soap?
 
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Buffalo Chicken Sandwich said:
You have to give him credit, for a Halloween burger to have real brains and bugs on it and actually eat it. Bravo Josh, truly disgusting.
I'm finding it impossible for me to sit through his phone videos because of the audio. The audio has been shit ever since he got his "new" iphone. Is the microphone in it broken or do you think the whole is filled with tobacco and tactical soap?
Click to expand...
I want to know if anyone has been brave enough to remake any of his recipes. I nearly barfed watching this one. Its by far the most gross. Given the filth of his apartment its probably not the first time he ate bugs in his food.

I think its tobacco jamming up his phone mic
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
I want to know if anyone has been brave enough to remake any of his recipes.
Click to expand...
This guy has made a few lolcow's recipes including some of Josh's

cheesy pasta

cheesburger pizza

candy calzone

And @Ellesse_warrior I have to agree, him slurping brain juice from the can about made me toss my cookies.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
7:00:
  • Talking about being evicted for spray painting wands.
  • Says he may have found a place that doesn’t care if he spray paints indoors once the place is ventilated
  • May get a blue tarp to put on the floor for when he’s painting.

16:30:
  • He’ll keep making wands and has found an apartment where he will be allowed to paint the wands indoors
Click to expand...
fucking WHY
why do you WANT to keep breathing toxic fumes josh, you are so fucking stupid
 
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Buffalo Chicken Sandwich said:
This guy has made a few lolcow's recipes including some of Josh's

cheesy pasta

cheesburger pizza

candy calzone


And @Ellesse_warrior I have to agree, him slurping brain juice from the can about made me toss my cookies.
Click to expand...
These videos were great, definitely worth a watch.




This is a pretty good edit of Kobe’s no pusseh stand up routine:

New Kate Winslet video:

Latest Chillin stream:

Start:
  • Tomorrow is election day. He will be voting and posting his wands.
  • Ignore the bullshit on Reddit.
  • People claiming he’s a trust fund baby
  • Clint calls
4:20:
  • Talking about being poor and living wand batch to wand batch
  • Clint is out of town teaching
  • Drinking cheap beer
5:40:
  • The person who bought the staff is getting a signed t-shirt, signed copy of Hell’s Advocate, tactical soap and a signed certificate
  • Doesn’t matter that his certificates are handwritten note book pages.
8:09:
  • Starts watch YouTube video on Election
10:40:
  • Explains spooky tuning for guitar
  • Back to watching the video
11:40:
  • Smoking indoors
12:53:
  • Shills his people suck I need a beer tshirt
  • Ranting about lefties protesting Trump
14:40:
  • George Floyd riots okay, political riots, no good.
15:02:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Ranting about Trump and Biden
18:24:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • He’s already getting kicked out so he’s going to keep smoking indoors.
  • Back to watching the video
20:31:
  • Now he thinks lefties having a meltdown if Trump wins again will be funny
  • Won't be voting for child sniffer Joe Biden.
  • Back to watching the video
26:49:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Back to watching the video
28:53:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
29:50:
  • Trump is also creepy because of things he’s said about Ivanka
  • Back to watching the video
31:52:
  • Says he makes $5K - $6K a year and would like a tax cut
33:18:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
34:30:
  • Joe Biden wants to take your guns
35:12:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Reparations for Black folks
36:35:
  • White people were slaves too
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Back to watching the video
41:23:
  • 2nd Amendment right is the line the President shouldn’t cross.
43:31:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Says he is doing work in the background to find a new place to live
44:38:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Back to watching the video
49:16:
  • Puts on the final Trump/ Biden debate
58:20:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Back to watching the debate
1:02:19:
  • Muted DTTS’s coming in nicely toobs
  • Realizes he’s already watched this debate and cuts the stream.

Latest night stream:

It’s short so no need for timestamps.
He sets his alarm so he gets up in time to vote and post the wands. Sounds drunk. Not saying who he’s voting for but he’s triggered over an anti Trump person contacting him and telling him about sleazy things Trump has done. His response is that Biden is also creepy and Biden wants to take everyone's guns. People think he knows nothing about politics because he’s autistic. Both political sides are equally as terrible. Brings it all back to gender relations of course.

Edit:
Another short video. Going to vote once he gets his wands in the mail. Democraps and Repooplicans. Says he's moving this week. Says there's a couple of apartments in town for $550 per month which he could easily afford. Ranting again about people saying Trump did creepy things. He's a great neighbor because he will give his last roll of toilet paper to a neighbor in need. Cracks open a morning beer. He has his mask handy in case he's told to wear a mask at the voting booth. Post wands, Vote, Find new apartment.
 
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