Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

Here's Kobes' stream from yesterday:
Start:
Working on a wand. Reading chat.
1:13:
Puts on a Rick and Morty ad. Says it looks funny.
2:40:
Puts on another video. It’s a Sydney Watson interview.
4:03:
Shills his PayPal. Guitar shredding.
5:30:
Back to the video. He doesn’t have any beer or soda pop but that’s okay. Kobes drinks to cope with society. Not an alcoholic. Shout out to Noel because he is getting cyberbullied. Gives advice on how to deal with trolls. Talks about how haters motivated him to become good at guitar. Guitar shredding. Back to giving advice to Noel and then back to guitar shredding.
10:48:
Back to the video.
13:02:
Compares drinking to Sydney having a puppy to deal with society. Back to the video.
14:00:
Texting. Not an alcoholic. Back to the video for 2 seconds. It’s ridiculous YouTube. Joe Biden rant.
16:13:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Peaceful protest moloteev cocktails. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Ordered one of his potions glasses. Guitar shredding. Checks his Tee Spring. Shills merch. Guitar shredding.
19:06:
Spooky tuning!
19:57:
Back to the video. Kobes gets basic insurance because of his Asperger’s. Reads a fan text. Shills his merch. Kobes is free balling it because he’s a grown man. Says Warlord might come over later. Guitar shredding.
22:59:
Spooky tuning!
23:43:
Back to the video. Texting. Reads fan texts. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Stuff is expensive. Back to the video. Shills the crap that’s being shilled in the video. Back to the video. LGBTQ rant. Guitar shredding.
29:33:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Tranny rant. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Texting. Troll texts. Blocking deleting and ignoring trolls.
32:05:
Guitar shredding. Troll rant. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Cyerboolies. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Race relations. Guitar shredding. Gender and race relations.
35:40:
Back to the video. Texting. Blocking deleting and ignoring the trolls. Back to the video.
39:41:
Reads a comment on the video. Internet tough guys rant. Back to the video.
41:38:
Cyberboollying. Smoking PSA. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Why are there no more good people in the world. Back to the video. Texting.
43:50:
Reads a fan text. Kobes doesn’t mind if more famous artists use his music. He will beat you if you harass him when he’s outside smoking. Flashes his knife. Back to the video.
47:02:
Thinks the police are looking for the person who swatted him in his old apartment. Back to the video.
51:01:
Kobes explains the difference between trolling and being an asshole. Back to the video. Texting. He hopes the person who swatted him gets raped in prison. Back to the video. Kobes explains hate speech. CBD oil. Back to the video. Fuck suicide. Back to the video. Texting.
54:26:
Kobes hates rape but he got swatted…. Says he got 3 texts threatening his life and he’s going to tell the police. Back to the video. Texting.
56:20:
Talks about getting swatted again. Back to the video. Don’t judge people based off their channel emoji. Back to the video for 2 seconds. The internet is a mean place.
58:05:
Smoke break ranting about haters as he leaves.
1:04:04:
Returns. Back to the video for 2 seconds. A little bit of hatefulness gives you a backbone. Talks about Noel getting bullied again. Back to the video. Texting.
1:12:29:
Story about getting asked not to stare at two women making out at a bar. Uses his dry spell as an excuse for staring. Lolwut. This story is somehow to do with treating gay people the same as straight people. Texting.
1:17:11:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Kobes advocating telling people off for not wearing masks. Back to the video. Kobes thinks wearing a mask should be a personal choice. He wears a mask when he has to and he’s not getting a vaccine unless he needs one to travel. Back to texting. Mask sperging. Kobes’ attitude is if he catches coof he catches it. Vaccines bad. Not an anti-vaxxer. Back to texting. Back to vaccine sperging. Coof is a ploy to control the population. Back to the video.
1:26:48:
Warlord arrives.
1:28:13:
Back to the video while Warlord Is probably stealing from him.
1:29:25:
Race relations. Back to the video. Texting. Warlord is rummaging behind Kobes. Warlord gives Kobes some toilet paper and a V8.
1:33:37:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Race relations double standards. Back to the video.
1:35:13:
Trying some Doritos. Back to the video. Texting.
1:37:13:
Vaccine sperging. Is Warlord drinking a gallon of milk? Kobes explains how you catch coof. Back to the video.
1:41:18:
Warlord gives Kobes some pebbles. Kobes says he'll use them for wands. They talk about kids and lgbt. Back to the video. Parrots what's said in the video. Kobes talks about abortion.
1:45:26:
Back to the video. Misinformation.
1:47:18:
Back to the video. Talks about my pillow guy being a Trump supporter. Kobes doesn't have a problem with Joe Biden but the hair sniffing is creepy. Back to the video.
1:51:16:
Leave Trump alone. Back to the video. Warlord is mooching.
1:53:20:
Shout outs for someone who sent him money and bought his glass. Back to the video. Warlord is eating beans from the can.
1:56:26:
Instant transfer because Kobes account is negative $26 again. Back to the video.
1:58:47:
Gender relations. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Kobes on being normal. Back to the video for 2 seconds.
2:00:05:
Smoke break.
2:05:25:
Returns. Body shaaaaaming. Eugenia Cooney.
2:08:27:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Talks about garlic bacon burger. Back to the video. Body shaaaaaming. Back to the video
2:11:10:
Checks Tee Spring. Instant transfer. His account should be out of the negative now TWU. Back to the video.
2:16:27:
Shout out to Bam Margera. Back to the video. Warlord takes some of Kobes cbd.
2:23:02:
Texting. Back to the video.
2:24:22:
Kobes has more cbd.
2:25:50:
Shout out to people who gave him money. Instant transfer. Back to the video. Texting.

Best part of that stream was Warlord eating beans out of a can behind Kobes while he's trying to do his video response. Fucking hobo. I also liked his gifts of toilet roll, pebbles a V8 and some doritos for Kobes.

New Spooky Tuning:

New Kate Winslet
 

Here's the rest of the September 2016 archives and BCV summaries:
Pipe tobacco unboxing 2016-09-20
Josh got his tobacco but his new Gandalf pipe broke | 0:40 Josh hasn't had his inspection yet | 2:16 how much you want to bet the package is the pipe tobacco? | 5:26 Josh changed to a new shirt because he has the inspection and didn't want to wear his cradle of filth shirt | 6:50 fans tell Josh to wear the Jesus is a cunt shirt on a job hunt | 8:47 Josh cant decide if he wants to save up for a sex doll or a car | 12:00 people told Josh to try and get some real pussy instead of a doll but he's tried | 24:00 Josh finally opens his package | 45:29 Josh says if he didn't have Asperger's he would get a girlfriend easier | 47:00 Josh is really tired and is going to go for a nap | 48:00 Josh got sent two tickets to see ICP from Vaypor a fan | 50:32 Josh says he will kick the shit out of anyone who start a fight with him because he's big

Chatting with fans on Discord 2016-09-21
17:00 Josh explains his obsession with the number 4 and tells the story of having a crush on a girl in high school and helped her win the beauty pageant | 17:55 Do you get recognised in Casper as a YouTube star? Josh would be riding his bike to work and people would say hello | 18:14 Do you ever take off your choker? Josh only takes off his choker when he showers and sleeps | 18:25 What's the first big purchase if you win the lottery? a car or a sex doll then his dream house | 18:52 Are you worried about becoming too famous? Not really but he can see him getting 10k subscribers in the future but no more than that | 22:23 Josh found the girl from high school in North Dakota. She accepted but she declined the request and he didn't try and add her again because it would have been creepy. She sent him a message on YouTube saying "I remember you winky face". Josh says she was in a beauty pageant for a food chain she worked for. She posted it on Facebook and Josh voted for her and used his magical powers so she could win. Her number was 4 and she was a wearing black and green | 24:59 Josh goes off about the number 4 - how many quarters are in there in a game of basketball and football. How many tires on a car and then his clock in number was 4 and got fired on his 4th anniversary | 26:24 His crush never cared for him much in high school, but when he checked her Facebook they had more in common then he thought | 28:32 Josh reveals that his crush worked for Hooters and talks about the number 4 popping up everywhere | 29:55 Josh has a runny nose and hoping he isn't getting sick | 30:24 His crush commenting on his video "I remember you winky face" | 30:46 Josh feels bad about his behaviour towards women in high school such as stalking | 31:47 Josh went to the bank to link his PayPal to his bank account | 32:23 Josh and his crush from high school had a common interest and loved music | 32:47 Josh wonders if she ever stumbles across his videos and hears him singing. With a singing voice like that, so many wet panties | 34:04 It was just a silly little crush in high school, you grow up and you forget about it | 37:15 Women are still creeped out by him but it's not as bad as when he was younger. He calls himself a brooding musician and thinks women love that | 37:37 Josh is sad his electric guitar needs to be fix | 3:29 Josh talks about the question about the lottery and says he would only like a girlfriend is she loved him, not a gold digging skank | 44:32 Josh thinks the best thing about having a girlfriend is spoiling her rotten | 44:53 Girls want music that swooz's them in the night and would give her his drop D | 45:54 Josh likes an acoustic because you don't have to plug it in an amp | 48:00 Josh talks about tobacco | 51:19 Josh asks if you dream about someone, are they thinking of you | 51:30 Josh hopes the girls in high school forgave him for stalking them, if so, he can forgive himself | Josh plays a song from his album


Fat fuck made another video about me 2016-09-22
Josh plays with his pooter toy and says that Castellus Zemi aka Fat fuck from Kentucky made another video about him | CZ refutes that his brother is a pedo | 1:00 CZ talks about getting death threats | 3:00 CZ said Josh deserved to be fired from Wendys | 4:38 Josh doesn't mention his name anymore but doesn't want to give him the satisfaction | 5:33 talks about CZ's brother | 6:54 CZ never once apologised for getting him fired | 7:27 Josh thinks CZ likes the taste of his dick | 8:00 Josh talks about being fired from Wendys | 9:26 Josh is meeting a job coach next week | 10:00 Josh goes back to talking about CZ | 14:24 Josh doesn't need hookers to get laid and talks about the girl he cheated on Stephanie with | 20:29 women DO find Josh attractive | 22:27 Josh will try get a job working in a music store or dishwashing, preferably dishwashing in a 'low stress' environment | 23:31 CZ said he would sue Josh for slander | 24:26 Josh talks about farts being funny | 31:00 if Josh was in a bar with hot goth chicks he would probably be able to get laid |

I don't like the youtube hero system 2016-09-23
Josh is chewing gum and does a big bubble | YouTube made a blog about a new community thing called YouTube Heroes https://youtube.googleblog.com/2016/09/growing-our-trusted-flagger-program.html where youtubers can flag other youtubers videos. Other big Youtubers hated this idea and it got killed quickly | 1:00 Josh explains what YouTube Heroes is but doesn't like it because bullies could harass anyone | 6:10 Josh finally linked PayPal to his bank account so it can now transfer | 7:00 Josh has $200+ coming to him soon | 12:45 Josh talks about other girls talking shit about other girls on Instagram | 18:00 Josh blows more bubbles with his gum | 30:00 Josh had been feeling sick but he has a healthy immune system so he never gets sick | 30:33 Josh is meeting with a job coach next Friday 30th, the job coaches specialise in people with brain injuries... and autism | 31:40 Josh talks about his novel but fears he will never finish it | 37:34 Josh could go job hunting but would rather wait until next week to meet his job coach first

Makeing a spicy grilled cheese sandwitch 2016-09-24
Josh make a peanut butter, mayo and jelly sandwich | 3:00 Josh's fingers are covered in pipe ash but he doesn't care, he's the one eating it | 4:00 Josh licks the peanut butter off the butter knife | 31:00 burns his bread to a crisp | 34:00 Josh eats the burnt toast anyway |

F*ck ISIS tshirts for sale 2016-09-25
Josh made a badass Fuck ISIS shirt to be sold on tee spring |

Im going to start working out 2016-09-25
Josh's fans told him to work out more, he can't afford a gym membership so he said he's going to work out 4 times a week | 1:40 60 push ups and 60 sit ups and the cobra yoga position | 3:00 Josh thinks he will get the gains and shows off his big arms | 7:34 chicks are going to notice you if you're more ripped, doesn't matter if you're social awkward | 9:00 Josh owes a friend some money so when he gets the money from his fans in his PayPal he will pay them back | 10:00 Josh talks about preparing for Halloween but he needs to buy a cloak to sew into his black cloak | 10:40 Josh doesn't wash is hair that much because the grease helps with hair growth | 11:30 people who correct Josh's bad spelling don't have to be a dick about it | 13:51 Josh's goal is to be the biggest most muscular person in Casper | 14:45 nobody will fuck with Josh if he's the biggest motherfucker in town and the ladies would notice and wouldn't care about his autism or lazy eye | 16:10 there are goths with half their heads shaved | 18:11 Josh is meeting his job coach this coming Friday | 19:12 Josh addresses how he's affording rent with no job, his SSI | 20:23 working at Wendys shows how loyal he is, talks about Wendys cutting his hours | 21:49 Josh wants a job as a dishwasher | 23:04 Josh will get his debit card back when he gets a job | 24:15 Josh hasn't had luck job hunting on his own | 24:45 a lot of places throw out applications if you have bad spelling | 27:42 a lot of chicks find him attractive but if they see that he's a YouTube celebrity they may be intimidated, Josh talks about mentioning his channel if he got a girlfriend soon | 30:40 Josh wants a job that pays more and doesn't drug test |

Haters are not going to stop me from makig videos 2016-09-25
Josh started getting a lot of hate in the YouTube comments | 0:20 people started saying Josh is balding | Josh spills his peanut butter and jelly Sammy all over his trip pants | 4:30 if you keep talking shit Josh will block you from his channel | 4:44 Josh doesn't know why there are people out there that fuck with his YouTube experience | 5:55 Josh says he has a cult following | 7:23 Josh's pooter broke | 8:50 the trolls are lucky Josh doesn't go to their house and murder them and their family in their sleep | 15:53 Josh tells his trolls to keep running their mouth because Josh will be ripped in a couple of months | 16:27 Josh would love to shoot his trolls with minigun | 19:51 Josh's dad is bald because he chooses to shave his head |

interview on Discord with fans 2016-09-25
"1:30 If you were bringing a girl back to his apartment, what would you cook her? He would cook whatever he wanted but it would be either a burger, pizza or a steak | 2:05 How do you feel about Ozzy Osbourne's divorce? it's Ozzy's decision and he won't stop listening to his music if they have divorced | 2:42 What makes Winston mad? insulting him or his life. One day Scotty was hanging out with Josh, he was talking shit about Winston and a cut appeared on his arm and they could see it forming on his arm. Scotty was tripped out, not upset | 3:40 What calms Winston down? Just giving him his space | 4:00 Do you know anything about Winston? how did you find out his name? That was just his name. He's from 1939 and Winston told him his name through a psychic connection because he has a connection with spirits | 4:50 What do you think of the BLM movement? he supports it but thinks it's sad people can't show support for their race and if you do, you'll be called a racist | 5:30 How do you think the racial divide can be handled and what causes the divide? Josh says the media only covers the negative side and that causes the divide | 6:10 Have you been abused by the police? No. He did get a ticket for driving without a license (Chris' van while he was driving it to get groceries) | 7:20 Where were you born? Josh was born in Casper Wyoming on March 26th 1991 and doesn't know what time | 11:36 Would you consider dying your hair again? Yes, he would do it at a professional place and wouldn't do it at his apartment | 12:00 What would you call your own hot sauce? Josh would call it the Spicy Cobra sauce | 12:28 Do you think Elvis will return? Josh saw a documentary that Elvis was alive and when Obama is out of his office he will return | 13:20 If you brought a girl home and she was on her period, would you fuck her? He would fuck with a condom but wouldn't go down on her | 13:56 What do you think of hippie chicks and would you quit smoking and drinking for a girl of your dreams? Yeah I think hippie chicks are hot and no he would not quit smoking and doesn't thing the girl of his dreams is real. Josh is convinced he will be alone the rest of his life | 14:27 What's the longest time you've gone without tobacco? Maybe a month because he had cyst on his tailbone removed when he was 20/21/22 when he was at Job Corp and couldn't get up to go outside to smoke | 15:16 What was the first thing you learned to cook and do you watch other cooking channels and do you try some of the recipes? Toast. He got the ice cream bread recipe from Simple Cooking. They also have a drink combo called Cobras Venom and he hasn't tried it | 16:20 Would you get a tattoo of a tobacco company to get tobacco for life and what would you choose? Marlboro or the company that makes Winstons | 17:00 What's your opinion on the immigration crisis? It is what is, all Americans are immigrants so it would be hypocritical if Americans complain. Josh thinks people should legally come over to America | 17:50 Is there a song that that makes you cry? Nope | 18:10 What song would you like to play at your wedding? Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine and would have his wedding in a cemetery | 18:20 What song would you like to play at your funeral? Cradle of Filth - Cemetery and Sundown | 19:30 Do you believe in reptilian shapeshifters? maybe, it's possible | 20:16 How did you meet Judi? Josh met her through Matt Ciampi | 21:03 Benefits of the cobra yoga position? it strengthens your muscles | 21:30 If you would magically become a woman for a day, what would you do? I wouldn't want to become a woman | 21:49 Would you shave half your head like other goths do? No | 22:12 If you could be born in any decade, what would it be? Victorian era or era of the Model-T car. Victorian era for the houses and the Model-T cars are cool | 23:19 What's your kinkiest sexual accounter? falling asleep with a girl on top of her with his dick still in her. It was Judi | 25:10 Do you know what cuckholding is? No and I would fuck a trolls wife in front of him | 26:44 Have you considered making your own weight? No, I doubt have my own materials | 27:18 Besides FFFK, what's the worst thing a troll has done to you? A group of people pretended to be his friends, made him a new account and when he got to 2k subscribers they deleted it and bragged about it on YouTube. | 28:50 Bernie Sanders impression and does other impressions | 32:00 Can you read a passage of your book your working on? He's still working on it, hasn't working on it in a while | 36:30 Josh plays guitar and reads off names of people in the chat

Drink combo 2016-09-26
Josh mixes Mountain Dew Black Label with Mountain Dew pitch black |

trying out some hair grow products 2016-09-26
1:48 Josh was sent some hair products to try out to help grow his hair back | 3:18 Josh says his hair is thin because he dyed it a lot | Josh talks about doing his laundry |

Food review 2016-09-27
Josh is at Scotty's place eating Doritos with cheese dip with flies | 1:45 Scotty's mom Mildred is on camera |

Making a Peanut Butter and Jelly Mayo cheese burger 2016-09-27
Josh makes a burger and watches the presidential debate between Hillary and Trump | 11:22 cross section | 13:45 close up of Josh eating the sandwich and dropping his phone |

eating a spicy boreto challange video 2016-09-28
Josh eats burritos over at Scotty's house | 1:37 Carolyn films Josh and Scotty eating spicy burritos | 6:15 Josh blows his nose | 07:20 Josh shows Carolyn and Mildred |
 
Anyone familiar with DSP should recognize this name in chat.

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DARK LORD IS ALIVE AND HIS HAT FUCKING SUCKS AND THE STREAM IS TERRIBLE I REGRET WISHING HE WOULD COME BACK

This is much more like a pre-Covid era Cobra stream. Only one tallboy can of girly beer and not passing out drunk. Very high energy and animated. He's talking about his methhead ex-girlfriend Judy for the first time in ages. It sounds like 50% of Cobra's girlfriends have had their kids taken away.
 
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