Kiwi Farms Unofficial Analog Horror Hate Thread - THE VHS SLOP FILES

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What genre scares lolcows the most?
An Alog horror!

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Beautiful Border said:
In my opinion, the entire genre of "Analog Horror" is simply various attempts to replicate things like Protect and Survive and the uneasy feeling they give you... and they've all failed. Because they're not actually real. You can't replicate the context it represents.
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You can't make it real but you can fool people into thinking it's real for long enough to creep them out. Something that came pretty close to that for me was the Ring Fit heart attack video.

It would've been perfect if it didn't include that dumb droning in the background. It immediately gives it away as no warning message trying to get you to keep calm would have creepy sounds in the background.
 
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Daddy's Little Kitten said:
I don't like horror stuff, but I once came across one channel that had cool stuff.


This one I love.
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Local58 is the originator of the genre, as I understand it. That Thalasin video that did the rounds a few years back is also pretty well done, in part because the people behind it actually recorded the footage onto a VHS and fucked with the physical tape to achieve all the effects.
Yes, that is the same Gooseworx behind TADC.
 
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Sexy Senior Citizen said:
Analog horror is the laziest form of horror, beaten only by jumpscares.
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Analog horror IS jumpscares, they keep reusing the same two formulas for the scare.
  • "Glitch" that switches to a spooky graphic for a frame or two
  • Dark image with very quiet volume switching to screaming face
I'm sure there's a third but I can't think of it.
 
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Another phase in internet horror that will get done to death and which will have many supposed classics that when looked back upon (w/o nostalgia glasses) will reveal themselves to be utter dogshit to anyone above the barest intellectual capacity.

At present the audience for this drivel has such low standards that there are seriously dozens of videos glazing shit like Linkara’s Winter of ‘83. Folks, if you’re lapping up something made by the lightbringer as true artistry then you know your palette is as puerile as they come.
 
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Jarch6 said:
which will have many supposed classics that when looked back upon (w/o nostalgia glasses) will reveal themselves to be utter dogshit
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It should've been looked at like this from the get-go and the only reason it wasn't was/is because the average age of the viewers who saw those "classics" at their times of release was 9-12. "The Mandela Catalogue" series opens with a fucking YouTube Poop that somehow didn't tank the entire concept into the ground, and because of its success over time it's since festered into entries that each look and play out like C-grade final projects for a college film course. The joke series that the fag behind TMC made is genuinely more entertaining.
 
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I see that trannyfaggot parasites continue to find more ways to corrupt "retro" entertainment
 
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