Kiwi on a Treadmill - Piwi the kiwi broke both legs in separate accidents and after surgery to repair the breaks staff at Massey University's wildlife ward used regular treadmill exercise to help strengthen Piwi's legs.

>"Mr. Null is there such thing as cardio among the kiwis?"
>"Well I've never seen a kiwi get on treadmill before."
>wideshot of a bunch of kiwis
>"These kiwis are all heading to the Farms to gossip about fat women, but one of them caught our eye. The one in the center. He would neither go to the Farms nor return to the colony. Shortly afterwards we saw him heading straight for the treadmill, some 70 kilometers away."
>haunting orthodox chant in the distance
>"Dr. Null explained that even if he caught him and brought him back to the Farms, he would head straight back for the treadmill."
>"But why?"
>orthodox intensifies
>"One of these disoriented, or deranged, kiwis showed up at the Massey University already some 80 kilometers away from where he should be."
>"The rules for the humans are: do not disturb or hold up the kiwi, stand still, and let him get on the treadmill."
>"And here he's getting on the treadmill. With 5000 reps ahead of him, he's heading towards certain gains."

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