Kiwitober 2022

MerriedxReldnahc

MerriedxReldnahc

Public Enema Number One
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2013
Inktober is a beloved tradition in the online art community designed to strengthen your inking skills and creativity, challenging artists to make an ink drawing every day in the month of October. We've had a KF themed prompt list for the last two years, so this year I'm pleased to announce the-
2022 Kiwi Farms Inktober Prompt List!​
kf prompt list.png

*ONLY RULES ARE*
1. You can use any medium you'd like, writing is also encouraged!

2. Make sure that you include the prompt title with your post, ideally we'd be posting one prompt a day but in the event that the site starts shitting itself and you can't post on the correct day, you can include multiple images in one post. You can skip over prompts that don't interest you, but try and do the prompts on the correct day.

3. Have fun! Nothing you make has to be good, we accept shitposts as well as masterpieces.


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Previous KFtober events:

2020 thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kiwitober-2020-beauty-parlor-edition.76656/

2021 thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kiwitober-2021.99507/

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UPDATE ON PROMPTS:
Apologies for not doing this sooner, I’ve had some requests for explanations of the prompt list. Most of these are very open ended and you can interpret them however you want, but a few refer to specific lolcow events or might just need clarification, I'll add links as I find them.

#1 Lolcow Russel Greer and his journey to sue his way onto America’s Got Talent

#2 Professional Fatass Nikocado Avocado might have accidently recorded a murder in the background of one of his videos https://kiwifarms.net/threads/nikocado-avocado-nicholas-perry.38422/page-332#post-11373342

#8 The death of Deathfat cow LifeByJen

#10 This refers to our board of non-english speaking cows, but you can interpret this however you want.

#11 Corissa Enneking’s camp for fatties that might have just been an elaborate grift

#15- Another Deathfat cow Anna O’ Brian and her disastrous trip to Hawaii, threw some kind of strange tantrum over a food truck and claimed a “psychosomatic aversion” to the fried shrimp

#16 Phrase invented by Nathan Mazri, founder of Garfield Eats

#17. I actually don't follow this cow but it relates to Nick Fuentes. Guy's got a catboy cult or something?

#18 One of our oldest threads that’s still active features WogggleBugLover, a strange woman trying to make a franchise off of an obscure Wizard of Oz character known as Mr. Wogglebug.

#25- Any cow from the early days of the forums, or someone you think is a historical lolcow

#27 A cow that has either become un-alive, or has just gone web-dark

#30- Null’s canine avatar!
 
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America's Got Autism

Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader of Iran, regarded the godless westerner, who stood before him, with the open contempt of a man who has 72 virgins stashed away in Paradise, every one of them confirmed as female by the Prophet himself.

“For the past decade, my nation – the jewel in the crown of West Asia – has enriched uranium under the noses of you American pig dogs,” he said. “We have lavished the uranium with exquisite jewellery and expensive perfumes, and gifted it with palaces and cars, in the hope of convincing it to play a role in our nuclear weapons program. Though the uranium has yet to give us its consent, we feel that its resolve has been worn down to point where its agreement is imminent. Why would we end our seduction now, when we are so close to achieving our goal?”

Brad Platts squeezed the lucky human toe key-chain that had been given to him by President Joe Biden, prior to his departure. Biden had been told by his son, Hunter, that the toe was a rabbit's foot. He kept handing them out to his Secret Service bodyguards. Nobody knew where Hunter was acquiring the toes, but there seemed to a limitless supply.

“We believe that we have something better,” he said. “As you are aware that America is a world leader in autism?”

“That is debatable,” scoffed Khamenei. “Much of America's autism is self-diagnosed and low in quality – unfit to hastily calculate the sum of a handful of coins cast onto a pavement in Jerusalem, before greedy hands can reach down and snatch them up.”

“At a surface level, you are correct,” said Platts. “However, If you break through the crust of unrefined autism, then underneath there are rich, untapped reserves of pure autism waiting to be exploited. You like trains, right? You have trains in Iran? Maybe you like to watch trains on YouTube. How would you like to see a train the way Allah sees a train? Because that is what all trains look like on autism – divine and composed entirely of serial numbers and statistics.”

For a moment, Khamenei appeared to be seriously considering the offer, then something seemed to change his mind.

“Pah! I have no time to waste on trains. Even as I speak, Iran's best social scientists are struggling to formulate novel responses to women protesting in the street that don't involve beating them to death.”

“Sir, if I may,” said Platts. “If you feel that the attitude of your morality police towards the fairer sex is disproportionate now, then let me assure you that their behaviour around women after a dose of autism will be even more awkward and bizarre.”

“Interesting,” said Khamenei, as he stroked his gay beard. “And is it also the case that, under the influence of autism, complex numbers and equations, visible only to myself, will fill the air around my head, confirming my genius?”

“I hear that is a common side-effect,” said Platts.

He produced a form from his satchel.

“Today only we are offering 15% off on orders over 10kgs, with further discounts available through our affiliation program.”
 
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Day 1 - America's Got Autism
A Haiku

Unemployed and fat
Reddit tells them what to think
Politics ain't life

I was further inspired
Haiku #2

He creeped out Taylor Swift
Won't take no for an answer
So good luck in court
 
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Day 1- America's Got Autism ft. Russell Greer
Just a quick drawing tonight, I'm busy AF and doing this on top of a regular Inktober challenge .
20221001_185656.jpg

ALSO the OP has been updated with some clarifications on certain prompts! I'll work on adding more links later so you don't have to dig to find certain events.
 
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Murder by Mukbang

That year, the League of Assassins' autumn dinner dance was held at the Holiday Inn, outside Maidenhead, where they posed as a convention of garden centre suppliers.

In between the main meal and the dessert course, the students gathered in the Keith Thompson Conference Suite of the hotel for the draw that would determine their first targets, along with the method of assassination. This was the final test prior to graduation. Those who passed would be initiated into the Order of the Yellow Water Lily.

When it was Ueki's turn, he stepped on to the low podium. Standing between the two urns of destiny, and facing his fellow students, he plunged both arms into the darkened openings of the clay vessels. His fingers rooted around stealthily in the slips of paper at the bottom. At last, he withdrew his hands. Ranko, who was standing at the lectern, took the pieces of paper from him. He announced the mode of assassination first:

“Murder by Mukbang. The target must expire from the over-consumption of food. Poison may not be used. Known allergies may not be exploited.”

He held the paper strip over a candle flame until it had burned away.

Turning his attention to target, the ghost of a smile played across his face.

“The target is Katsura Hinode.”

Ueki's heart sank, as ripples of nervous laughter filled the room.

Hinode was head of the World Forum for Anorexia and an ardent campaigner against Mukbang, which she defined as any meal containing more than 15 calories.

Ueki bowed his head towards Master Inori, who was seated in the shadows towards the rear of the stage, on a high-backed chair that had been dragged over from one of the banqueting tables.

“I will not fail you, Master,” he said

Numbly he stepped down from the podium.

“Ha ha, for the rest of your life, the question you will ask people will be: “Do you wan' fries with that?” gloated Chiyo.

The English exchange student, Gemma Osborne, leapt to Ueki's defence.

“Your family has no honour, Chiyo. They are known only for excessive goat fucking,” she said.

“My family honour will rise from the shamed penises of my grandfather, my father, and my two uncles, when I assassinate Miley Cyrus using the dagger I will fashion from the beak of a kingfisher,” Chiyo retorted.

~​

Ueki was late going down for breakfast. The only remaining items in the buffet were a pair of black cherry yoghurts lying on their sides, like dead koi, in a pool that had once been a mound of shaved ice.

He found Master Inori contemplating a piece of Japanese-themed corporate wall art.

“Master, I must kill a women who would tolerate any death apart from the one I must deliver,” he said.

Master Inori remained silent for a long time, as was customary when he was asked for advice. Finally, he spoke:

“The two trees in this wall art - the bonsai in the foreground and the cherry tree which dominates the background. Which is greater?”

“The cherry tree which is the taller of the taller of the two, for it touches more of the sky and its roots occupy more of the soil,” replied Ueki.

“It is the bonsai, which, though it is smaller, is older.”

Ueki rose from his chair.

“Thank you Master Inori. I know now what I must do,” he said.

~​

The block of lard glistened under the lights. He spent several hours rolling it flat, until it was translucent. When he was done, he folded the sheet back on itself and rolled it flat again. He repeated this action several thousand more times until the lard was so thin that it was capable of cutting words in half in mid-air. Carefully he sculpted it by hand, before applying green paint.

~​

“Hinode San, I bring, as tribute, a single lettuce leaf from our monastery garden. May it sustain you over the coming days.”

The hem of Ueki's orange robes trailed across the ground, stirring up a small cloud of dust.

Hinode accepted the gift, raising it to her lips with a trembling hand.

As she chewed, her faraway expression turned to one of horror.

“What is this?” she demanded.

“It is two-million calories of lard. Such a meal has never been consumed before.”

Her shaking fingers formed themselves into a prong, which she aimed towards her tonsils. Ueki reached forward and easily stayed her hand. Her arm was like a dry twig.

“My ghost will pursue you to the far corners of the earth, seeking vengeance,” assured Hinode.

“Your ghost will be too morbidly obese to move more than a few paces,” replied Ueki

~​

Thousands of miles away in the city of Los Angles, Chiyo staggered backwards, his breath whistling through the hole in his throat, made by his kingfisher-beak dagger.

Miley Cyrus loomed over him. Presently, she was joined by her bodyguard, Dunnhier.

“I'm supposed to be the one protecting you,” he remarked.

“You know that I only keep you around for your sweet ass.”

Dunnhier gazed down at the body of the assassin.

“Anyone you know?”

“His family are notorious goat fuckers,” said Miley Cyrus.

She returned to her table and resumed eating her langoustine salad.
 
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