- Joined
- Feb 11, 2016
Careercow Kurt Eichenwald / Roy Rogers / Andrew McDonald - Litigious Failed Journalist, Epileptic Sped, Trump Derangement Incarnate, Hentai Weeaboo Racist, Sexist, Suspected Pedo, Living Centrist Democrat Meme
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2015
If Kurt opened a pizza shop, he would have to call it Little Seizures
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2017
Kurt violated my copyright, I'll be filing a Seize and Desist.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Or Shakey's
- Joined
- May 28, 2017
Here's a guy who takes the phrase "carpe diem" a little too seriously.
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2017
Kurt can turn any plain ol’ bathtub into a jacuzzi with just a simple GIF, so I guess he’s got that going for him.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Where does Kurt Eichenwald buy his hamburgers?
Steak 'n' Shake.
Who is Kurt's favorite playwright?
Shakespeare.
How did Kurt lose his newborn infant?
Shaken baby syndrome.
If Kurt got a reality series, what would he call it?
Tentacle Pawn Stars.
- Joined
- May 28, 2017
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Why isn't Kurt masturbating to tentacle porn right now?
Because he was Just-in Berry.
Because he was Just-in Berry.
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2017
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2016
If the police had a warrant on Kurt it would be for search and seizure.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2016
i dunno guys the side-effects check out. Hopefully he doesn't get any, they sound nasty.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
So the side effects is he turns into Kurt Eichenwald?
He kind of already is Kurt Eichenwald. The only thing the side effects warning doesn't mention is tentacle porn.
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2016
Tentacle Porn is a side effect of degeneracy.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Yes, you are saying it for pity, asshole. Don't try and be the poster child for epilepsy -- the rest of us don't appreciate it.
Sounds like he might be on perampanel.
Sounds like he might be on perampanel.
Rihanna Ikari
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2015
God dammit, Kurt, you will not ruin The Room for me.
Kyria the Great
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2017
God dammit, Kurt, you will not ruin The Room for me.
"You're tearing me APART, Kurt!" is probably what some Squidling is saying after he attempts to eviscerate their asshole because he loves his tentacles and children.
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2014
No it's what kids say when spending the night with Kurt "This is Gonna Hurt" Eichenwald.
I did not molest them! It's not true, it's bullshit!
- Joined
- May 28, 2017
On a sunny day in 1984, a less bald Kurt Eichenwald was strolling along looking for playgrounds to creep, when he came upon the finest, tightest young ass he had ever seen. He wanted to snap a picture, but his camera was still at home. He whipped out his legal pad and began drawing next to the notes for the current article he was writing. The drawing wasn't enough. He had to get closer. He needed to burn it into his memory. He needed to zoom in. He needed to touch it.
He slowly tip-toed his way to the swing set and managed to lure the child with the last stick of Juicy Fruit he had in his pocket. He thought, "I can cop a feel and look I'm pushing a kid on a swing!"... Little did he know, the kid had the worst case of hemorrhoids on the planet. The child screamed as he patted its ass. The traumatized child turned around and called for his father, who came running.
That child was named Richard Spencer. The rest is history.
He slowly tip-toed his way to the swing set and managed to lure the child with the last stick of Juicy Fruit he had in his pocket. He thought, "I can cop a feel and look I'm pushing a kid on a swing!"... Little did he know, the kid had the worst case of hemorrhoids on the planet. The child screamed as he patted its ass. The traumatized child turned around and called for his father, who came running.
That child was named Richard Spencer. The rest is history.