Careercow Kurt Eichenwald / Roy Rogers / Andrew McDonald - Litigious Failed Journalist, Epileptic Sped, Trump Derangement Incarnate, Hentai Weeaboo Racist, Sexist, Suspected Pedo, Living Centrist Democrat Meme

[AprilRains]

Pretty much everything he had to say about his supposed epilepsy was written in that interview he did in 1989. There's really no way you can turn that into at least a 300 page book unless it was a graphic novel show casing him twitching on a floor like a brain damaged child.

This is a great idea! Who should illustrate it? I'm thinking Charles Burns could give it the darkness and paranoia it deserves.

 

[FriendlyNeighborhoodDaddy]

Pretty much everything he had to say about his supposed epilepsy was written in that interview he did in 1989. There's really no way you can turn that into at least a 300 page book unless it was a graphic novel show casing him twitching on a floor like a brain damaged child.

My predictions for his book:

1 - It'll be padded out with super-true anecdotes of the oppression and fear he suffered when anti-spaz bigots found out.

2 - He'll have a bit on how he was afraid his wife wouldn't accept him and that his kids would inherit it.

3 - A long woe-is-me section on the strobe gif.

4 - An attempt to justify his "forgetting" details on the Justin Berry story.

 

[Rekkington]

Yeah, Kurt's going to put forth a whitewashed/lionized version of his life story the likes of which hasn't been seen since 8 Mile.

Now, everybody from the Twittersphere
Turn your motherfuckin' @ signs over here
Now, everybody from the Twittersphere
Turn your motherfuckin' @s here! Look, look...

Now, while he's got bark
Notice that this man's got no blue check mark
All these trolls got you gassed up
Now, who's afraid of Trump's Russians huh?

One, two, three, and to the four
One bot, two bot, three bot, four
Four bot, three bot, two bot, one
You're bot, he's bot, you're bot, son.

This guy's got no fuckin Twitter history
But I know everything he's 'bout to say against me
I do lie, I do get fucking scorn
I do like watching hentai porn

My invisible friend is a psychiatrist
I do got a bone to pick with ISIS
Who hate Jews and I could maybe be one probs
I did get dumped by all three of my jobs

And my wife does think I'm cursed
I'm still standing here screaming "I have seizures!"
Don't ever try to judge me, troll
You don't know the scary men I control

But I know something about y'all
You're mean on Twitter, that's how you get blocked
What's the matter, troll, you still lurking?
I watched porn with my family on purpose!

And I'm sure you live at home with both parents
And my kids say they're too cool to have parents
This guy don't wanna thread, scared shitless
'Cause ain't no such things as serious critics

He's scared to death, can't opine
On his fucking timeline; fuck Palestine!
[suspended from twitter for 5 days]
Fuck platform, I'll go flame war
Fuck a Metokur, fuck a juror, fuck a server

Fuck everybody! Fuck y'all if you doubt me!
I'm a disgraced journalist I say it proudly!
And fuck this debate, I don't wanna win, I'm outtie
Here, tell these Drumpftards something they don't know about me

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

This is a great idea! Who should illustrate it? I'm thinking Charles Burns could give it the darkness and paranoia it deserves.

John Kricfalusi. Pedocow crossover.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Pretty much everything he had to say about his supposed epilepsy was written in that interview he did in 1989. There's really no way you can turn that into at least a 300 page book unless it was a graphic novel show casing him twitching on a floor like a brain damaged child.

The graphic novel should have the bottom corners of every right-hand page alternate between black and white, so you can have your very own strobe flipbook to give yourself seizures.

 

[Elaine Benes]

I say he needs a YouTube channel.

I say he needs a show on BlogTalkRadio.

"I'M A MELTING POT OF EPILEPSY YOU SON OF A-"

 

[KookiesNKreem]

John Kricfalusi. Pedocow crossover.

With special guest artist Zone-Tan. You know, just so Kurt can prove tentacle porn exists.

 

[Curt Sibling]

Can't wait till he is finally busted on cheese pizza charges.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

"Welcome to Kurt's Hentai Reviews, I am your host Kurt Buchenwald"

 

[Mrs Paul]

I thought his epilepsy was the result of a head injury?

 

[vhstape]

View attachment 427416
"Welcome to Kurt's Hentai Reviews, I am your host Kurt Buchenwald"

sad thing is he would be a step up from many of the people they have had in the past

 

[thismanlies]

I’m kinda torn on the idea of him writing an autobiography. On one hand, I know I’ll get a kick out of him trying to church up all the shitty things he did like OJ Simpson when he wrote If I Did It. On the other hand, I don’t like the idea of giving Kurt Eichenwald money. I don’t know what to do.

 

[Slap47]

I’m kinda torn on the idea of him writing an autobiography. On one hand, I know I’ll get a kick out of him trying to church up all the shitty things he did like OJ Simpson when he wrote If I Did It. On the other hand, I don’t like the idea of giving Kurt Eichenwald money. I don’t know what to do.

Only one copy is needed to scan for a free pdf anybody can read.

 

[AprilRains]

I’m kinda torn on the idea of him writing an autobiography. On one hand, I know I’ll get a kick out of him trying to church up all the shitty things he did like OJ Simpson when he wrote If I Did It. On the other hand, I don’t like the idea of giving Kurt Eichenwald money. I don’t know what to do.

Let Abbie Hoffman be your guide:

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

I’m kinda torn on the idea of him writing an autobiography. On one hand, I know I’ll get a kick out of him trying to church up all the shitty things he did like OJ Simpson when he wrote If I Did It. On the other hand, I don’t like the idea of giving Kurt Eichenwald money. I don’t know what to do.

Only one copy is needed to scan for a free pdf anybody can read.

It will most likely be released in a digital edition at some point, upon which I guarantee you someone will strip the DRM and distribute it. Just wait and pirate the fuck out of it.

 

[Slap47]

It will most likely be released in a digital edition at some point, upon which I guarantee you someone will strip the DRM and distribute it. Just wait and pirate the fuck out of it.

Hopefully a version where the editor tears into him is also made available somehow.

 

[Prussian Blue]

Maybe he's self-aware and everything recently has been a ruse.

Or not, of course it's about Trump and he couldn't see the irony even if wrapped in tentacles.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Maybe he's self-aware and everything recently has been a ruse.

Or not, of course it's about Trump and he couldn't see the irony even if wrapped in tentacles.

I think Kurt's definitely a drama whore, and he'd cause controversy for attention even if he didn't have a book coming out. He probably doesn't think of it in those terms, it's likely a more subtle thing where his brain's just conditioned to associate that rush of chemicals with him bringing down more hate on himself.

 

[Fougaro]

I think Kurt's definitely a drama whore, and he'd cause controversy for attention even if he didn't have a book coming out. He probably doesn't think of it in those terms, it's likely a more subtle thing where his brain's just conditioned to associate that rush of chemicals with him bringing down more hate on himself.

Speaking of which, maybe Kurt will start his own Internet Bloodsports channel after Baked Alaska's public seppuku.

 

[FunnY]

Maybe he's self-aware and everything recently has been a ruse.

Or not, of course it's about Trump and he couldn't see the irony even if wrapped in tentacles.

I doubt his venting would even boost revenue from the book sales. And even if he's being legit, the only thing he'll receive is sodium, stress, and some huge chuckles from others.