Legitimately Crazy/ Weird people you have met in real life?

My best friends girlfriend. She light his clothes on fire at the front door of our house, but the scary part is she also carried a .38.

So we are in the house smoking crack and dodging the windows. It was a strange night.

Then we would have this guy...he would do some 'greens' that's pcp for the uninitiated which is sprayed on parsley which you smoke. He would come to the house riding his bike, the do ninja shit on the lawn. The guy was like in this 30's and his mind was so fucking gone. Don't do pcp kids.

 
Theres this one particular guy I know. I don't want to give names, but at my high school his name was used as a common term for "weird idiot". I interviewed him last year in August to confirm high school stories and see if there was any new ones. All stories listed here were confirmed by him, told by him, reported by numerous his friends or I saw with my own eyes.
In grade 9 he got caught on the library computers looking up porn. In grade 9 he also fully shat his class in pants. In grade 11 he stole a mentally handicapped (actually Special Ed)kid's PS3, lied to the police about it (to make the kid look bad) and then got his friend to lie to the police about it. Then later in grade 11 he lost his virginity and immediately "caught gonorrhea from a Mexican whore" (his words not mine). During the summer of 2016 he bragged to me about doing meth twice (which I can say for a fact he made up and based it on his white trash friend who did it twice when he was around). In grade 12 (2017), he decided to start wearing a fedora to school despite that it was used as an insult for over two years before that at the school. He was one of the most racially diverse people I've ever seen (Portuguese, black, Indian, English), yet very racist.
Now he impregnated a legitimate schizophrenic chick who refuses to stop smoking cigs or weed despite being 27 weeks pregnant(the baby is already experiencing health complications). Upon meeting her within 2 hours she told me how her ex was a "pedophile rapist who was 47 years old", lied about her age (claimed to be 23 and 22, but shes really 19), and lied about being engaged to her boyfriend (they engaged a month and a half later, not sure why she claimed it so early when it wasn't true).
I can go into more detail for any of the stories.
 
I met Anders Behring Breivik in a waiting room in Oslo. The real Breivik, not the impostor that had shot a bunch of people a couple of weeks earlier, the details of how he was real and the killer wasn't was explained at length but it was years ago and so ramshackle that it didn't stick in my mind. The guy seemed really bummed out that someone would tarnish him like that and that the media went along with it. He was clearly nuttier than squirrel balls but didn't seem dangerous, aggressive or violent, he was just sad and wanted to tell someone about it.

At the same time he oozed insanity in a way that no other crazy person I've met have been able to come close to, like reality warped around him and I immediately felt that something was weird when I entered that room. So I kept my distance because he might shank me in the neck with a pen without realizing until afterwards.

You simply must tell us more about Knight Commander Breivik. Did he give you his blessing?
 
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I believe I posted this story in one of the horrors of the workplace threads. But this lady definitely is one of the crazier ones I've encountered.

For background, I work in an office building that is split down the middle with a door in the back of the building that either side to access the other. One side is my boss'. The other belongs to her brother-in-law, an attorney whom I believe owns the building, and his partner. Both attorneys are past retirement age but still practice on a very part-time basis. Across the divided boulevard from us is a hotel known for its transients and lowlife.

Anyways, a lady that was staying at this hotel manages to cross the boulevard - an amazing feat in itself since there's no crosswalk and the speed limit is 45 mph (72 kph). She claims she needs to speak to one of the attorneys even though neither one is in at that particular moment and my boss and I have no idea if or when they may come. So, she tells my boss this weird sob story where she's supposedly injured by somebody and wants to file a law suit. When my boss suggests she call the law office and leave a message, the lady claims she can't because someone hacked her cell phone and redirects her calls anywhere but to her desired destination. She asks if she can wait to see if either attorney arrives. My boss, despite having to go to a meeting, agrees - much to my chagrin - leaving her alone with me.

Her questions and comments during her wait started off innocuous. But she kept looking right at me to the point it rattled me and I made more mistakes than usual trying to type out forms our clients needed by a certain date. After waiting for a while and not having either attorney arrive, she abruptly accused me of being paid to purposely lie about the attorneys' office hours and she starts to rant and rave. At one point, she even asks, "Who do I have sleep with around here? I'll do it!" :cryblood:

Now, I'm legit scared and wonder if she has a gun or weapon in her purse that she could use to attack me. I tell her she needs to leave, which triggers more screeching before she leaves. At this point, my boss returns and gets screeched at outside. Once the boss came inside, the lady came into our alcove, but couldn't reenter the office because we locked the inner door. Undaunted, the lady screeches through the door at us and drops a few expletives for good measure before turning around and leaving again.

At this point, I call the police as it's getting close to my quitting time and I'm concerned she may wait outside to ambush my boss or me if either of us leave the office. Before the police arrive, however, she noticed a bus stopped at the end of our block and gets on it. Still, I gave the police a report of what happened and they told me if she comes again and causes trouble to call them back.

Fast forward a few years to this past summer, and a lady shows up at our alcove asking for a job. We're not hiring anyone, so I tell her that and notice she seems to have graying hair and what looks like the kind of knee brace one wears after tearing an ACL or having knee surgery. As she turns and leaves, her voice makes me think back and I realize that it could have been the above lady even though her hair and physical appearance were unfamiliar at first. Since I didn't know for sure, I chose not to call the police. However, I made a note of her appearance and the encounter in case she decides to come back again.
 
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Not sure if this really qualifies, since when I think of Kiwi Farms crazy or weird, I think of fun, but I'll give it a whirl.

When I was very briefly working at a local grocery store in my small hometown a few years ago, I saw someone wander in whom I can only describe as "extremely sad too look at". It's a man in his 30's or 40's, thin, balding, wearing seemingly somewhat baggy clothes, his entire body shivering slightly as if he had Parkinson's, with a lazy eye, walking with a rather lumbering gait (seemingly by almost exclusively moving his thighs/hips); drooling occasionally, because he couldn't close his mouth completely and either can't speak or can, but really slowly. He wanted me to get him something from the shelf by trying to point at it, and after I asked him a few times about which item he wanted, I gave it to him, and he waddled off. He was accompanied by some older man, whom I presume was his father, and who went away for a short time when this happened, and soon caught up with him before they went through check out. Poor guy is either severely underdeveloped mentally as a result of whatever illness he has, and is looking at the world through the lens of a child, or he is developed mentally and understands that he is forever bound to be a mess, and I don't know which scenario horrifies me more. :(:heart-empty:
 
I've met some very religious people in my life but none of them were as weird as the people who lived across the street from me when I was a kid. I think that for some of the things the people did it had to have crossed over into "mentally ill" territory as well. There isn't one long story, just a bunch of little weird ones.

The kid's names were Michael and Angela and they went to some really exclusive private school. They were two years apart, with Michael being the oldest. I was Michael's age but got along better with Angela. They would make up games (fair enough) then say stuff like, "it's out of balance" instead of "out of bounds" and when I would correct them they'd said I was wrong, and the reason for this was because they didn't believe anything other than what their parents would teach them so anyone else was automatically wrong. I went so far as to say it couldn't be balance because bounds meant boundaries and the ball was out of the boundaries of where it should be for a point and so on, but they wouldn't believe me. Their parents wouldn't let me in their house but a few times they let me sneak in when their dad was taking a nap, which was the most fun I ever had there because we were running and laughing but had to keep quiet. There was nothing weird to see in the house either and it was totally clean.

They weren't allowed to borrow my videos games and I wasn't allowed to borrow theirs and the reason was "my mom said if it gets messed up we can't buy you another one" but the kids always took great care of their stuff so I wasn't worried about that happening. The parents always seemed concerned about things happening that wouldn't usually happen. They had a cousin named Heather who went to live with them after her mom lost custody of her and despite the family having a pretty large house they made Heather sleep on the rug in Angela's room. She could have slept on the couch in the living room but wasn't allowed to and no reason was ever given. So when I was snuck in the house Heather showed me the rug, which had a pillow and blanket over it. They would ask weird questions, stuff like, "Who is your favorite president?" and they didn't know any bands or pop culture references despite talking about how they watched cable all the time.

One time I was petting their dog and the dog snapped at me and bit my nose and it scared me really bad because not only did it hurt but I was very afraid of dogs. I said that the dog bit me and Michael said not to lie about his dog (Michael was in the room but wasn't looking when it happened.) He grabbed his dog and started saying, "it's okay, boy. She didn't mean it." I thought my nose was bleeding but it was actually just the dogs saliva. I washed my nose in the bathroom and cried, then went home and didn't go back for a long time.

Eventually I went back to their house and some strange guy walked out to the driveway to meet me (strange as in dirty pothead, not at all like the people who lived there.) I asked if the kids were there and he looked at me like he didn't know the people I was talking about and just shook his head, didn't even answer verbally. Never saw them again.
 
You simply must tell us more about Knight Commander Breivik. Did he give you his blessing?

The only crazy person to give me his blessing was a hobo Tank Commander that I gave a twenty to and talked with for a while. He was obviously nuts but very bombastic, not-impostor Breivik was low energy and super bummed, like Terry Davis at his low points.
 
When I used to be active in the local mental health support groups, there were always the people who kept on playing this card - "I have an official diagnosis, therefore I can violate the boundaries of everybody around me and you're being ableist if you have a problem with that."

I once was literally stalked by a much older woman who had that attitude. She knew I was gay, she knew I was not interested in a relationship with her because she was female and literally twice my age, but she kept on stalking me and trying to drive everybody else in my life away from me. I eventually had to get a no-contact order against her. That really freaked me the hell out.
 
Where do all these people get the money for all these drugs? I'm just trying to pay my bills and I'm almost broke most of the time.

Since I rarely speak to people these days this is an old story. When I was in High School I had this friend. He was adopted and lived with a fairly well to do family, but for some reason he was very self-destructive. He was part of the weed guys group in HS. He got into a skinhead phase near the end of High School, and was hoping to start fights with people, even though he was the only one who was interested in fighting about race. He would buy complete outfits with a theme, like a gothic/punk outfit but he would buy authentic German WWII stuff like iron crosses and leather SS trenchcoats. He was quite proud that WW2 vets would chastise him in public. Then for some reason he decided to wear a full Mighty Ducks Ice Hockey themed outfit for a few months. He was into pretty much most things that were considered "edgy" back in the early 90's, swords, daggers, airsoft guns, heavy metal, Lady Death, hentai etc

After he left HS he would turn up at my house every so often, sometimes getting kicked out by his mom, trying to avoid people because he was selling drugs. He was telling me how he got in trouble for jamming the telephones at the shopping center so he could come and collect everyones change from it later for money. One time I was with him he got jumped by a bunch of people and the cops showed up to ask me to make a statement.

For a few years he completely disappeared. Then one day he shows up again as if no time had passed. He told me what he'd been up to. Moved interstate and got hooked on Heroin. To feed his habit he became a toyboy for the wealthy men in the city. (He looked very androgynous, and was tall thin and pale) He said earned about $5000 a week, and spent most of it on Heroin and spent all his free time at the Arcade playing videogames. Then just like that, he disappeared again, and showed up again a year later with a g/f in tow, who was obviously a former user who was trying to get clean, she was barely holding it together. I made a joke one time and she slapped me across the face. The last thing I remember happening was that he'd moved out west to get away from the whole scene and avoid people he owed money to, to have a kid and have a normal life with the girl.

EDIT: Actually come to think of it, all my long term guy friends I've had were bi or gay. Pity I'm I don't swing that way, or I'd probably be living it up now.
 
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I could write a novel about all the weirdos I run into on a daily basis, though partly it's just where I live. My area has a very stark dichodomy of old rich people and trust fund babies vs. trailer trash and schizophrenic homeless people shooting up behind Whole Foods- there's not a lot of middle ground so the crossover is pretty dramatic but not super uncommon. (And there's always the people on the better-off side trying to advocate for the homeless and demonize the police for arresting the poor, improverished, nutbar having a screaming match with Napoleon in a busy shopping center. You wanna advocate for them? Go ahead, just don't be suprised when Crazy-Eyes Shaquandalond shanks you for mistaking your social justice talk for alien lizardman speak.)

I've seen some downright weird people downtown, and I almost think I just imagined one since no one I was with saw her. She was hunched over, leaning heavily on a cane, and glaring at everyone passing by like she was trying to decide who would taste best in a stew. She was the kind of woman your old Russian grandmother would warn you about, everything about her was like seeing a fairy tale hag in real life. Her haggish gaze zeroed in on this young pretty woman and as she passed she reached out and snatched at her, just barely missing her hair. I can only assume this was in a vain attempt to steal the girl's youth and beauty away, but she was unsuccessful and went back to glaring at people.
 
Was waiting on a local college campus for a bus early this week. Im not a student there, but it's the easiest way to catch most of the buses in town. Anyway, some random Asian student asked how I was doing and I just said "Alright!", thinking she was just being friendly. Guess she thought that made us friends now because immediately afterwards she started going on about how unfair her placement test was and how racist the zookeepers were for not picking her for co-op or something. She claimed to be disabled as well and thats why "she cant re-apply for a new interview". Tried speaking French to make it seem like i didnt understand her because I just wanna wait for the bus in peace; doesn't matter, she keeps going. She kept at it for 20 fucking mins about how racist the campus is and ignoring her emails because she's disabled, getting closer to me over time like she was gonna suplex my white ass into the ground or something. I suggested (in English) she just go to Student Services and file a complaint about all of it, but she can't "because I have a disability!"

Eventually she realizes that Im just some rando waiting for the bus and not a student of the college and walks off like nothing happened. Doesn't apologize or anything. Never found out what her disability was btw, but I have an idea about what it might be...
 
Was waiting on a local college campus for a bus early this week. Im not a student there, but it's the easiest way to catch most of the buses in town. Anyway, some random Asian student asked how I was doing and I just said "Alright!", thinking she was just being friendly. Guess she thought that made us friends now because immediately afterwards she started going on about how unfair her placement test was and how racist the zookeepers were for not picking her for co-op or something. She claimed to be disabled as well and thats why "she cant re-apply for a new interview". Tried speaking French to make it seem like i didnt understand her because I just wanna wait for the bus in peace; doesn't matter, she keeps going. She kept at it for 20 fucking mins about how racist the campus is and ignoring her emails because she's disabled, getting closer to me over time like she was gonna suplex my white ass into the ground or something. I suggested (in English) she just go to Student Services and file a complaint about all of it, but she can't "because I have a disability!"

Eventually she realizes that Im just some rando waiting for the bus and not a student of the college and walks off like nothing happened. Doesn't apologize or anything. Never found out what her disability was btw, but I have an idea about what it might be...
Reminds me of this girl who accosted me in a bookstore and proceeded to talk my ear off for the better part of half an hour about how she loves Listerine breath mints and Tide pens. Kept alluding to a "my disability", too.

I didn't start this conversation and I hardly got a chance to reply either. I tried walking away and looking very intently at the shelves but she just followed me until we got to the checkout and I sped off while she was still paying. She almost tried to put her stuff down on the till with mine, too...

She seemed like she was genuinely nice and just trying her best to be sociable but I had places to be. So, oh well.

(E to remove some PL)
 
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I've seen crazy shit and crazy people throughout the seven decades of life so far. Live in what's arguably the largest open-air insane asylum in the world, coastal CA from Marin County to the border.

One just jumped out at me. One day was at the supermarket. Saw some woman ask her kids if they'd repented for their sins. These kids couldn't have been more than five years old. Felt like screaming, "Bitch, please! These kids don't even know what a fucking sin is! Jesus H. Shit!". She probably would have gone into convulsions. Feel sorry for those kids.

There are things too crazy to be believed, but there's nothing too crazy to have actually happened.
 
I had a brief friendship with a camgirl and I asked her how she got together with her then-boyfriend. She told me she was at a party and snorted a xanax, blacked out, woke up in bed with him (she was naked and he was fully clothed) and they had, in fact, not had sex the night before. She said he was really embarrassed but she was like, "it's cool, we can hang out" and they stayed together for two years after that.
 
In the town where I went to high school there was a 9/11 truther that went around town in a trailer with all the windows blocked by 9/11 truther posters and miscellaneous other conspiracy theory nonsense. He hung out behind the vegan supermarket, left paper with 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB repeated about 10 times in large font taped to the walls, and would tell you all about his conspiracy theories with glee as long as you were willing to listen.

He was a weird motherfucker but a nice dude, hung out with him a few times to see if there was any conspiracy too dumb even for him. He did think hollow earth and all its believers were silly.
 
There's an autistic (i assume) train buff guy who comes to my local Panera bread, sets up all his favorite trains on a table and puts on a 19th century train themed puppet show for himself and all comers. On his right hand he's got a felty puppet with a police outfit that he calls "Wild Bill Hickock". On his left hand is a female felty puppet with stringy blonde hair and a flag bandana, she's "Annie Oakley".
The show starts with a discussion of trains (they're blurry but you can spot the shapes on the table) and proceeds towards an in depth examination of early 20th century American economic policy.
Last time I was getting some chai I snapped a glancing pic.

723571
 
There's an autistic (i assume) train buff guy who comes to my local Panera bread, sets up all his favorite trains on a table and puts on a 19th century train themed puppet show for himself and all comers. On his right hand he's got a felty puppet with a police outfit that he calls "Wild Bill Hickock". On his left hand is a female felty puppet with stringy blonde hair and a flag bandana, she's "Annie Oakley".
The show starts with a discussion of trains (they're blurry but you can spot the shapes on the table) and proceeds towards an in depth examination of early 20th century American economic policy.
Last time I was getting some chai I snapped a glancing pic.

View attachment 723571

This is the kind of dedication I like to see.
 
I walk to work everyday and theres a guy on a bike who wears a suit and tie and just rides around my work all day in circles bothering everyone

He stopped me once while I had my headphones and said the government used satellites in the sky to infiltrate my mind thru my iPhone

I swear to god
 
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