Opinion Let Sabrina Carpenter do the Eiffel Tower, kids have seen it all before anyway

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Let Sabrina Carpenter do the Eiffel Tower, kids have seen it all before anyway​

About three months ago I found myself at a party explaining what Eiffel Towering was to someone in their forties. If only they’d come of age in a time of Sabrina Carpenter, they would have known.

For the uninitiated, the story goes like this: the 25-year-old Espresso singer may look like butter wouldn’t melt, but most of her songs are about sex and her lyrics are thick with innuendo.

In one particular song called Juno, (about fancying a man so much you want him to get you pregnant, naturally) there’s a lyric that goes: “Wanna try out some freaky positions?”. Carpenter is on a world tour at the moment for her album, Short ‘n’ Sweet, and has taken to acting out a different sex position at each show as she sings the next line, “Have you ever tried this one?”.

It’s become something of a tradition, you see, and as she gets down on all fours or kicks her legs back and bares her sparkly knickers, you can hear how young the crowd is by the pitch of their screams.

Critics decided that Carpenter crossed a line at last night’s performance of Juno at her show in Paris. With the help of her two back-up dancers, she did the Eiffel Tower, a three-way sex position inspired by France’s greatest monument. Some have not taken kindly to her ode to the City of Love. “Pop or just Porn?” reads a headline in The Sun. On X, users are complaining about little kids being in the audience, and that Carpenter has “oversexualised” herself.

It’s a tale as old as time: Disney child star grows up and gets maligned for becoming adult woman with sexuality and a desire to express it. Selena Gomezand Vanessa Hudgens were depicted as good girls gone bad when they donned their bikinis and sneakers for the 2012 film Spring Breakers. The following year, everyone was asking what happened to Miley Cyrus after her “raunchy” music video for Wrecking Ball, where she licked hammers and things.

Carpenter had her big break in Girl Meets World, a textbook Disney series about a spunky gal navigating teenhood. Now, she sings about being horny.

As with most in the Disney to pop star pipeline, a massive slice of Carpenter’s fanbase is tweenage girls. While Carpenter’s lyrics aren’t X-rated in the sense that she rarely swears, they are richly euphemistic. And yes, there’s something mildly unsettling about, say, 12-year-old girls belting out lines from her hit Bed Chem, like: “come right on me, I mean camaraderie!” or, “And I bet we'd both arrive at the same time, and I bet the thermostat's set at six-nine”.

But the thing to remember about children is that most of this stuff goes straight over their heads. They are not famously good with innuendo. What remains then, is someone they look up to who is completely at ease with her sexuality and willing to celebrate it.

I watched a compilation of Carpenter doing her Juno positions (it wears a little thin after a while) and thought that I would have quite liked to have had someone like her on the scene when I was a teenager. She portrays sex as something that is fun and nothing to be ashamed about.

“My message has always been clear – if you can’t handle a girl who is confident in her own sexuality, then don’t come to my shows,” Carpenter has said in the past. It’s not the first time she has ruffled feathers.

Carpenter came under fire for mimicking oral sex with a microphone in one performance of Juno in LA, while the regulator OfCom received hundreds of complaints after her Brit Awards performance, in which she dropped to her knees in front of a King’s Guard soldier.

Any parent who has been left shocked after taking their child to a Sabrina Carpenter show needn’t worry – this stuff is probably nothing new to them. In the UK, the average age a child sees pornography for the first time is around 12.

Instead of the regressive, damaging portrait of sex presented in porn, why not have a glitter-clad pop star teach them about Eiffel Towering? They probably won’t get it, but if they do, then it’s no harm, no foul.
 
They don't know how it fucks up a child's mentality for that.
I’m afraid that they actually do know how much it fucks with a child’s mentality and that’s in fact the goal. Never forget that these people are degenerate sex pests, deep down they know how corrupted, how twisted and fucked up, how morally reprehensible they are and they want everybody else to be like them so they can write it off as “human nature”.
 
Any parent who has been left shocked after taking their child to a Sabrina Carpenter show needn’t worry – this stuff is probably nothing new to them. In the UK, the average age a child sees pornography for the first time is around 12.
Yes so let's expose them ever younger and younger. Yippee.
Bet she did all those positions with producers and Disney execs, and probably when she was way underage.
For her own sake, hopefully not. She's a nepo baby; her auntie is Nancy Cartwright, the voice actress of Bart Simpson.
 
But the thing to remember about children is that most of this stuff goes straight over their heads. They are not famously good with innuendo. What remains then, is someone they look up to who is completely at ease with her sexuality and willing to celebrate it.

I watched a compilation of Carpenter doing her Juno positions (it wears a little thin after a while) and thought that I would have quite liked to have had someone like her on the scene when I was a teenager. She portrays sex as something that is fun and nothing to be ashamed about.
"I wish I had a Disney kid who's been pimped out by (((executives))) to look up to."

-Some gassed up Bri'ish mid
1742355848321.png

The eyes of a crab who doesn't even want to get out of the bucket.
 
What's the over/under on all this "former child star expressing her sexuality through art" bullshit being her coping with being sexually abused by Disney producers, directors, and adult costars?
They're coping with the fact that their parents willingly signed the permission slips for everything that happened.
 
You’ve never heard of it? It goes by many names. Eiffel Tower, London Bridge, the spit roast. Here’s an example of how not gay it is.

Oh, I have heard of spit-roasting in general, which, as your educational film demonstrates, truly is the most heterosexual male activity you could possibly engage in, right after driving a monster truck and punching a grizzly in the face.

This Eiffel Tower variant, though, where there's two guys longingly locking eyes while also holding hands, does seem like the only reason there's a woman involved at all isn't pleasure, but plausible deniability.

In fact, now that I've thought about this (which I deeply regret), I might petition for this position to be rebranded as "The Nick & Aaron Embrace".
 
what happened to having talent like joni mitchell, debby harris, nina hagen or cher
It’s all about playing a part now it seems. This one is the mean girl/cheerleader ice queen, another plays the bratty coke whore, Chapell Roan is the queer theater kid in drag, Taylor Swift is the bougie it girl that everyone loves to bitch about. The music is playing second fiddle to the modern parasocial nature of fans these days. It isn’t about talent, it’s about marketability and brand sponsorship.
 
Just what the 14 year old demographic needs: songs about how it's hot to get pregnant. Hm. Well, I haven't heard any better ways to ensure everyone alive today can get a Social Security check and avoid demographic collapse...
 
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