Let's design a prison

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Chromeo

Chromeo

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kiwifarms.net
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Feb 10, 2020
When I was in school, I took a class where we got to vote on what current issues the class learned about. One of the topics we chose was how prisoners are treated in jail, and one of the things our teacher did was have us design prison floorplans. This immediately devolved into students devising the funniest ways to torture prisoners with cruel and unusual buildings. I think it'd be fun to do this again as some kind of collective drawthread. As an example and a starting point, I've made this basic prison:
1782332144479.png

As you can see, most of the cells are the same size except for two: the ✨luxury cell✨ that's 1.5x larger than the others, and the anti-luxury cell that's basically a narrow closet. This way, prisoners will fight over who gets the biggest cell and what poor sap has to sleep standing up in the tiny one. I've also decided that nobody gets their own individual toilet (except staff/public, who get a normal public bathroom in the reception area.) If a prisoner wants to go to the bathroom, they have to walk all the way down a terrifying basement staircase to use the spooky dungeon bathroom. Sunlight privileges are for people who didn't commit tax fraud.
anyway, feel free to add onto this with your own ideas for "improving" our prisoners' stay in the Kiwifarms Korrectional Kfacility
 
They’re tryna build a prison
They’re tryna build a prison
For you and me to live in
Another prison system
Another prison system
For you and me
 
Chromeo said:
the ✨luxury cell✨ that's 1.5x larger than the others, and the anti-luxury cell that's basically a narrow closet.
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You didn't make the luxury cell the most obvious cell? The one cell that everyone has to look at? The single thing the entire area is built around? Shame on you. Now the prisoners might be able to fill their thoughts with other things!
 
Modern prisons would be a lot nicer if they just had cute frilly curtains and flowers instead of all this cold gray steel and concrete. Some lavender and rose-scented essential oil diffusers wouldn't hurt either.
 
Cells are all below the floor, with the entrance being a trapdoor. No stepladder in the prison cellars. You either need a friend to lift you out or wait for the single prison guard with a ladder to let you out every morning. Of course there are grates as windows so other prisons that already got out and piss down into your cell while the guards arent looking.

Alternatively, angled floors with grates at the bottom. Side view of two rows. Favorited prisoners get the highest elevated room so they can kick things down to the lower cells. Also every prisoner constantly has to adjust to the fact they're constantly walking in a cell at an angle.
1782336105443.png
 
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Chromeo said:
As you can see, most of the cells are the same size except for two: the ✨luxury cell✨ that's 1.5x larger than the others, and the anti-luxury cell that's basically a narrow closet. This way, prisoners will fight over who gets the biggest cell and what poor sap has to sleep standing up in the tiny one. I've also decided that nobody gets their own individual toilet (except staff/public, who get a normal public bathroom in the reception area.) If a prisoner wants to go to the bathroom, they have to walk all the way down a terrifying basement staircase to use the spooky dungeon bathroom. Sunlight privileges are for people who didn't commit tax fraud.
Click to expand...
that's just my college dorm
 
Another tip from my dorm: my room was in "the dungeon" which was the lowest, darkest, coldest area and always humid because my room was on the stairs that went down to the laundry. I quite liked it. But because students are retarded they were always spilling laundry powder on the stairs, which meant that at least once a day, usually multiple, I'd hear a scream and would open my door to see someone looking up at me who had slipped on the powder and cracked their back on the stairs, likely sliding all the way down to my landing on their ass if it didn't happen on the tiles directly outside. That was pretty good too.
 
Two improvements to suggestions already made.

1) Change OP's basement stairs to rickety ladder stretched horizontally over open sewage pit from prisoners bathroom (think Mt Everest glacial crevasses). Maybe provide long poles so that other prisoners can assist or "assist" crossers.

2)
Waffle Iron said:
angled floors with grates at the bottom
Click to expand...
Make the rooms rotate/wobble slowly so that sleepers will constantly be rolling from one side of floor to another (no beds of course).
 
Something like The Hole, but without the slowly moving platform of gourmet food or other theatrical nonsense.

Really the important feature is a constantly-available method of suicide that's straightforward and easy to initiate, impossible to stop or reverse, and seems relatively quick and painless.
 
Not going to drawfag this idea out but would it be to make it so the prisoners cannot speak to each other at all lest they be punished with russian colonial prison tier punishments. Alzatraz used to do this IIRC in it's early days and served REALLY good food to keep them silent as well so they had nothing to usually riot about.

Also would it be possible to make it so the prisoners themselves all must sit at individual tables when dining and make the rooms have open cell tops so they have zero privacy with guards watching them, or VERY good prisoners can see them and hurl insults at them for being good little NARCs.

EDIT: Also make the showers be individual cubicles with CCTV camera's so there is no chance of prison rape, anyone dumb enough to do it will never see the light of day again. If you want you can make the shower floor tilt at random intervals to mimick a ship in the high-seas so they are constantly slipping and cannot adjust either.
 
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