Lets Make Offensive SPCs - Surely The Foundation has ran into a few questionable ones

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UnregisteredHypercam2

UnregisteredHypercam2

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
ScpLogo.png


In the world of the SCP Foundation thousands and thousands of "anomalous" objects have all been categorized, from soft drinks that come in strange flavors to the literal christian God himself. These objects have all been described in painstaking detail, yet I have not found any cross into the "offensive" category. I simply refuse to believe that The Foundation created sacrificial rituals to appease a eldritch monstrosity, but hasn't come across a single bottle of Aunt Jemima that can speak and calls the researcher a honky.

This is easily the least believable part of the universe.

Since the actual wiki won't even let a joke about a misogynistic door handle slide, I come instead to the most intelligent and well spoken community on the internet for help uncovering these. What mysteries lie in the dark (or very tan) basements of The Foundation?

For instance:



SCP-1812

TriangleHat.jpg

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1812 is to be kept in a secure storage locker in site 81. No researcher is permitted to test with SCP-1812 without written permission from Dr. Chung in the "Pan-Asian Department of Anomalous Objects". If, during testing, SCP-1812 begins to show changes beyond exceeding cognition (particularly in the teeth or eyes), the test subject is be put on a strict diet of "Western" food primarily consisting of cheeseburgers and hotdogs until changes recede.

Description: SCP-1812 is a Asian Conical Hat (or Triangle Hat) typically used by farmers in South-East Asian. It's composition is identical to a store bought or handmade version of these hats, with it's anomalous effects only being shown when a person has put the hat on. Once the hat has been placed on a persons head, the effect of this object begins to change their cognitive thinking process.

Many changes take place at once, with the most evident being the wearer of SCP-1812 placing their index fingers on the outer sides of their eyes and pushing the skin back to their temples. This gives the wearer of SCP-1812 distinctly almond-shaped eyes and, given enough time, the wearer will ask for some form of tape to secure their skin in this position.

Immediately following this, the wearer will loudly introduce themselves to the closest person around where another effect of SCP-1812 begins to show. At a cognitive level, the wearer can not distinguish the difference between the "L" and "R" sounds in their vocabulary resulting in disoriented speech. MRI scans show a distinct and radical change in brain structure at this time which forces the wearer into believing their sound like their usual selves. This effect persists through over 100 languages, all of which have these same changes made at a underline level.

If SCP-1812 is worn for an extended period of time more prolonged changes can be seen. Eating habits of the wearer will shift to craving food that is East-Asian in origin and the wearer will insist on using chopsticks as their only utensil, even if the wearer has no experience with chopsticks prior to wearing SCP-1812.

If SCP-1812 is worn beyond 24 hours, physical changes can be seen beginning with features in the face. The teeth of the wearer will gradually become more crooked and unhealthy, with most test subjects having their central incisors widened and extended. Facial hair will also begin growing in different patterns to create a long, dark, mustache which the wearer is compelled to keep very straight. In just under a week, this mustache was shown to grow 24 inches in length before curiously stopping. It is important to note that the eyes do not receive any level of physical change and as such the wearer will always be using their hands to hold the skin of their eyes back (unless the tape mentioned before is provided).

Wearing SCP-1812 beyond 24 hours shows more extreme behavioral changes. The wearer will begin acting more suspicious and "sneaky" even while performing regular activities. Instead of communicating through speech the wearer of SCP-1812 will often leave cryptic notes which, most often, contain simple requests such as "More orange chicken" or "That dog looks tasty". Around this time the wearer will begin to bow their heads to show respect and sit cross legged while relaxing. The wearer will also begin speaking in vague and spiritual messages, often times referencing "destiny" or "the stars".


Audio Log: SCP-1812-A

Interviewed: D-4467 moments after placing SCP-1812 on their heads
Interviewer: Dr. Chung

<Begin Log>

Interviewer: Could you please tell me how you feel?
*D-4467 immediately pulls his eyes back and keeps his hands there for the extent of the interview*
D-4467: HERRO, MY NAME IS RUKE THOMPSON!
Interviewer: Your name is D-4467. Please tell me how you feel.
D-4467: RERRY WELL, BUT SO HUNGRY! DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIED RICE OR TASTY BAT SOUP?
Interviewer: Some can be brought to you. Now please tell me about your day today.
D-4467: HOOO YOU DUMB AMERICANS ARWAYS WANT TO KNOW WHAT US CHINESE ARE UP TO!
Interviewer: You were born in a small town outside of Milwaukee. You have never been to China.
D-4467: HOHOHO, ALL PART OF THE PRAN! DUMB AMERICANS, SO EASY TO FOOR!

<End Log>


Audio Log: SCP-1812-B
Interviewed: D-4467 27 hours after placing SCP-1812 on their heads
Interviewer: Dr. Chung
Forward: The teeth of D-4467 have a distinct "Buck Tooth" appearance. After being provided tape for his eyes, D-4467 no longer has to hold his eyes back, but must reapply tape about every 10 minutes.

<Begin Log>

Interviewer: Good morning, how was your breakfast?
D-4467: MANY TASTY, BUT NOT ENOUGH LICE! (Note: He means rice)
Interviewer: I'm sorry to hear that. I'd like to talk about what you want to do next.
D-4467: HOO, I SEEN THE FUTURE IN THE STARS THEMSERVES! YOU GONE HAVE SUCH GOOD DESTINY! REAL BIG DESTINY!
Interviewer: I'm not sure what you mean by that.
D-4467: CHINESE MORE SPIRITUAL, MORE CONNECTED TO THE EARTH, WE CAN SEE THE REAL BIG DESTINY! DUMB AMERICANS ONRY SEE WHAT CHINESE WANT THEM TO SEE HOHOHO
Interviewer: I'm from China. No one in China can see the future.
D-4467: A CREVER TRICK FROM THE CHINESE! NOT ARR CHINESE CAN SEE THE REAL GOOD TIME DESTINY! BUT I SHOW YOU, ARR YOU MUST DO IS RET ME TO EAT MORE TASTY LICE!

<End Log>
 
I'm already offended by more modern SCPs.

Like, nigger, I want to hear nice self contained stories about particularly difficult to destroy lizards and statues that move when you aren't looking and ice cream trucks that eat people, not to hear your weird fucking swords and sorceries fantasy bullshit about dragons and flying demon cities and shit.

But ok, here:


SCP-fucking whatever

My standing fan is like a regular fan except when you talk into it instead of it making your voice sound weird it causes everything you say to come out as nothing but a long string of racial slurs.
It's a thaumiel class anomaly because it lets all the foundation's researchers get out all the stuff they're actually thinking all day without people being able to blame them for it. In fact a few foundation personnel have questioned if the fan has any anomalous properties at all, but as soon as they bring it up everyone else tells them to shush. Researchers are currently investigating whether or not this behavior is a result of cognitohazardous effects of the fan.

The interview logs have been wiped due to recent changes in HR policy and sensitivity training at the foundation.
 
"Wow. I'm so glad that the evil murderous organization covers my sexual fetish on it's health insurance."
 
My SCP is just SCP-049, except "the pestilence" is niggers and his cure is ethnic cleansing. It's VERY effective, as he would say.
 
And here I thought the Asian Conical Hat teleports the wearer to a paddy field and makes them say "Welcome to the rice fields, motherfucker!"
 
Just copy paste all the magic items from FATAL and you've got a pretty good start. The racist armor at least is a must include.
 
SCP-4141

Euclid

SCP-4141 is a humanoid object, that loosely resembles a human female, despite having male facial features, large palms, adam apple, body hair and having no female reproductive organs.

SCP-4141 shows paradoxical behavior i.e. despite trying to pass as a human female and copying female behavior, it's still trying to reproduce with females instead of males. For that goal during the day SCP-4141 is trying to enter women's public restrooms and during the night goes to LGBTQ+ bars to offer lesbians to suck it's feminine penis.

Despite all of this, there is no documented instance of it reproducing this way and the process remains a mystery. There was one instance of a lonely man in his 30s meeting a group of SCP-4141 and then showing the same behavior, however, there's not enough data to conclude anything, since the victim killed himself after being called by his real name. Was it caused by a psychological trauma from facing a group of SCP-4141 or was it their intended goal is still difficult to assume.

SCP-4141 should be kept in a tiny room without any sunlight and be fed soylent with female hormones three times a day. It also requires women's clothes and long striped socks twice a month. If SCP-4141 denied any of those, it becomes aggressive and after some time kills itself, even if there is no tools for that or it was incapacitated.

The recording of SCP squadron 004 catching SCP-4141 in Seattle.

- How are we gonna find it? You told it looks like a woman, but not real
- Shh, here it is!
- Oh, God, it's ugly!
- Shh, it can hear us!
- It... It... IT'S MAM!!!
- Open fire!
 
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