Let's Play The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

[Screaming Llama]

You know there's this great thing called Youtube available.

1. I prefer to do it this way and 2. I tried to make video and it wouldn't work for some reason.

Murder her and loot her corpse.

(p.s. yes i know this meme has been deader longer than chris's autist soul but i still stand by my use of it)

Rape, murder and pillage. Sounds good to me.

Cuddlebug and haina: Bear in mind that this isn't a speedrun. This is just me rollin', trollin' and dickin' around for comic effect in a game I don't know.


Previously, on Morrowind:
Clyde Cash, dark elf and professional troll, was released from jail and shipped off to Morrowind for reasons unknown by the Emperor himself. After receiving gold and instructions from an Imperial Legion bureaucrat, Clyde set off for the town of Balmora. The story continues...

I'm going with Surtur and Holden's advice.

One rape and murder later, I loot and dispose of the woman's body and continue on my merry way. Despite moving at a quick pace and following the road signs, I keep stopping every few metres to pick plants for alchemy (a habit I picked up from Skyrim), which means it's well after dark by the time I get to Balmora.

Hitting on an Argonian. (Hey, she has pretty scales.)

The pawnbroker's is the first building I reach, which gives me the opportunity to offload my excess crap (to her credit, the shopkeeper doesn't bat an eyelid when I hand her a suit of women's clothing. I guess she's used to tomgirls) and upgrade from a simple iron dagger to an iron sabre and score an iron cuirass.

I also get some repair equipment and have a go at fixing the pre-loved cuirass. It's at about half strength by the time I'm done. Good enough.

After shopping, I spend ages navigating around Balmora, which isn't a bad-looking city. Eventually I find the South Wall Corner Club.

Finally, I make some meaningful progress! The directions the club owner gives me are pretty simple and it doesn't take long to find the guy I'm looking for. Great. He's a skoomacky addict.

To my utter astonishment, though, the package and letter I give him tell him to make me a member of the Blades, the legendary dragonslayers and the Emperor's eyes and ears throughout Tamriel. There's a list of people I can buy training from, but first I have to get out there and make a reputation for myself. There are several ways I can do this.

First, though, I need to restore my health and magicka, which I do by renting a room at the Eight Plates and crashing into slumber.

So now that I'm a Novice in the Blades, I have several options:

• Join the Mages' Guild
• Join the Fighters' Guild
• Join the Legion
• Do freelance work

What's next for Clyde Cash?

 

[c-no]

Maybe do some freelance work? There might be a ebony mine somewhere near Balmora. Some say it can be rewarding if you give it to the right person.

 

[Surtur]

Go to Solstheim, become a werewolf.

 

[Watcher]

Go to Solstheim, become a werewolf.

And have parties, with hookers

 

[Bgheff]

Go to Solstheim, become a werewolf.

And have parties, with hookers

Party all night Long. Really James the night away.

 

[Screaming Llama]

Day 2 doesn't start off well. I go to three different places looking to buy spells. The bookshop can't help me, the Mages' Guild only sells to members and the vendor at Hlaalu Manor apparently thinks highway robbery is acceptable. (I can't tell if the bookshop vendor is yawning or shocked.)

I try my hand at alchemy, but damned if know what I'm doing wrong. All I manage to come up with is "Clyde's Sample #1", which promptly disappears from my inventory. *grumblegrumbleitwaseasierinObliviongrumblegrumble*

I pay the alchemist a visit and her crap is just as overpriced as everyone else's in this town. At least I can trade in the ingredients I didn't use.

I head to the other side of town and set out to do some freelance adventuring. A valderee, a valdera, a valderee, a-valdera-ha-ha-ha-ha...

My sabre does nothing to this... whatever it is, so I power up my fire spell and blast it into next week.

FUCK YOU WHY IS THE MELEE COMBAT IN THIS GAME SO FUCKING BROKEN

Later on, I rock up to the gates of the town of Caldera just as my Athletics skill hits 21.

Finally, some goods that don't cost an arm and a leg! I LIKE THIS TOWN
Check out my sick new gear, bitches. Health-regenerating robes, chain armour for my chest and noggin and some nice shoes.

Next stop is the govenor's palace, where I get some info on where to find some ebony mines. Turns out Caldera is a mining town and the company mines are just southwest of here.

It's getting late, though, so I drop 10 drakes on a bed at Shenk's Shovel and

Day 3 is when my luck really turns sour. I'm now told that the mine uses slave labour to dig their ebony. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to sneak in and pilfer some ore, or pickpocket the guards or something. Then I come across this guy:

On one hand, he deserves what he got for being so trusting in a place like Morrowind. On the other hand, I'm down to my last 5gp and this could be lucrative. What say you?

 

[Surtur]

Kill him and take his shit.

 

[Saney]

Kill him and take his shit.

What shit? He's naked. You should help the poor, dumb hobo...and then kill him and take his shit.

 

[c-no]

Kill him and take his shit.

What shit? He's naked. You should help the poor, dumb hobo...and then kill him and take his shit.

Yes, help the naked Nord then when you are dumb, take him out and claim his stuff. He could have something useful if you help him.

 

[Screaming Llama]

I made several attempts to kill the Nord, but the fucked-up combat system meant he could just wipe out my stamina, then wear away my health and kill me while I flailed around uselessly with my sabre and my spells fizzled half the time. I nearly destroyed my laptop pounding on it in sheer frustration. So I'll leave Hlormar where he is for the time being and focus on making money.

A couple of left turns down the track, I found the Caldera Mining Company tucked away in a tiny little valley of its own.

I checked in at the front office, but no-one seemed to have any useful info for me, like how to get some ebony.

The bunkhouse presents some lockpicking opportunities. To Morrowind's credit, lockpicking is much easier than in later games. A few pokes of the lockpick and I can pilfer some money and bric-a-brac.

I lol'd.

Out the back of the buildings, past the slave huts, I found this. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this railroad?

The entrance to the ebony mine proper. Time to do some looting.

Finally, a fellow Dunmer tells me what I need to know. Guess I really will be pulling off a heist... as long as it's nice and quiet.

I find a source of ebony away from the view of the guards and slaves. Here goes...

SUCCESS

I've ripped off all the ebony ore I can carry, so I smuggle my ill-gotten gains out of the mine and head back to Caldera.

This dude offers training at a reasonable price, so I'll come back and see him later.

Damn, he's good.

The merchants in Caldera are perfectly happy to take the ore off my hands - along with all the stuff I picked up along the way - and I get some shiny new armour with some of the money I got for it all.

THIS IS BULLSHIT. I have a full suit of steel and chain armour and my armour rating is only 2? Does this game run on insane troll logic or something?

I'm heading further north, to Ald'ruhn. Maybe someone there can sell me a weapon that will actually kill people, or a spell that does more than just singe Nord chest hairs.

Once again, it's up to you. Help? Rape? Murder? All three?

 

[Watcher]

THIS IS BULLSHIT. I have a full suit of steel and chain armour and my armour rating is only 2? Does this game run on insane troll logic or something?

Morrowind bases your armor rating off how many points you have in your armor skill. After that armor basically multiplies your armor rating and that reduces how much damage you take. Without taking heavy armor at character gen using even Daedric armor is going to give you an armor rating of maybe 5. Whereas if you leveled up your light armor or even your unarmored to 100 it could easily make your armor rating 100.

It also only affects physical blows. Magic bypasses armor entirely unless it's enchanted to reflect destruction damage.

 

[Screaming Llama]

Clyde killed himself. This concludes the LP.

 

[exball]

Clyde killed himself. This concludes the LP.

Good.

 

[Saney]

For a similar style of Let's Play, feel free to visit the Let's Play Archive. They have a really good series on X-Com.

http://lparchive.org/