Let's Sperg Let's Play XCOM XPiratez Mod (ON SUMMER HIATUS) - Lethal amounts of autism ahead.

What shall we do with our captured Damsel in Distress?


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7. Rich Kids

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Been awhile since we've knocked over a temple. I think, anyway.

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Sea Urchin knocks out the Priest cold when he tries to make a run for it.

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She then continues to live up to her fearsome reputation for kicking in doors and obliterating the inhabitants.

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The fuck?

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Stay down asshole!

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We sustained a few more unnecessary injuries inside the building too. The Sirius worshipers aren't terribly well armed, but they're always in a good starting position.

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Miscellaneous research and events. The Guerrilla armor is interesting but the Warrior suit is already superior and much less expensive to manufacture.

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Crushing those big rocks has produced a rather large amount of smaller rocks which are taking up an absurd amount of storage space. Even though I have an annoying feeling that this mod will punish me later for doing so, I sell off about half of them.

It takes an incredibly long time to actually hold the button down long enough for the items to sell off. I keep forgetting what the hotkey is.

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Second verse, same as the first.

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There's a cute little animation on this jukebox that I keep trying to capture with like 20 screenshots but it just doesn't look like much. You can sort of approximate it by going back and forth between these two screens.

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Forever Sunrise is starting to catch up with her sisters after being out of the fight on a few occasions.

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Two new structures are completed. Personal Labs is apparently attached to multiple technologies that are essential for moving ahead so I'll have to get on putting one of those together as soon as I can. Trying to leapfrog Radar turns out to be a bust since Overcharged Radar is more than a little beyond our budget at the moment.

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Finally, we can ditch the clunky and worthless Molotov Cocktails.

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I omitted the loot because its mostly just more of the same, but it easily takes care of the Superconductive Wire cost we need for the Personal Labs. Cash is the next question.

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Since almost all of our Gals are injured or refreshing, again, its time to recruit two more into the fray, including, as promised, our captured Damsel.

@Disc, @Super Sad Smile

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Disc, our first ever Damsel, was captured during a random event where she wandered into our hideout, screeching that she wanted to join the sisterhood. This also means that Disc is technically where we obtained all of our info on Damsels from. Super Sad Smile was recovered from our most recent Save A Sister mission at the end of the last update.

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This is Disc's default armor. It apparently generates money for every empty slot she has at the end of the mission, but since it doesn't protect the wearer at all and Disc is just a normie human, that would mean she'd have to stay in the Partyvan. Which with the addition of windows in this mod seems like its just asking for our new Damsel to take a stray bullet to the head from some unknowable random direction. We put her in the only bulletproof vest we actually have on hand.

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This is a cache of random research that completed or was given to us for free but I never got a notification for. The only really notable thing is the faction info for the Sectoids which goes into more detail than I did on their current position.

The icon for the Combat Bow is definitely the Short Bow sprite from Diablo 1. In retrospect now I'm pretty sure multiple medieval weapons in this mod are icons from either Diablo 1 or 2 but I'm not gonna go back through the whole LP to check.

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This is the research we've actually completed in the mean time. I dunno how I feel about the Altar Boys.


Other than the fact that their uniform bears a certain resemblance to a fallen internet comedian (I'm pretty sure this one is just a coincidence though).

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This mission is an incredibly painful struggle as both Disc and Super Sad smile are basically useless and the warehouse itself starts a pretty fair distance away from the landing site. I do manage to have Disc and Super Sad score two hits each even if they don't manage to kill anyone.

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Eventually I have Witty traipse around some of the buildings and into a wrecked structure. It provides sufficient cover for her to get in close on the enemy.

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Both Disc and Super Sad finally get kills, from blood loss on enemies they had hit earlier, but Super Sad gets plugged and eventually passes out from her wound. Fortunately Witty is able to dispatch the last few enemies all within one turn.

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Finally, all of the big rocks in our base have been completely cleared out. In addition to tons of aggregate, we acquire some semiprecious materials, a few precious materials, and apparently one of the stones contained a metal box of unknown description. I really wish they had used a better term than Mystery Box to refer to this thing.

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Some research completes in the mean time. I forgot what Mutant Martial Arts was and ended up spending a bunch of tokens on it as one of our bounty prizes. Oh well, Mutant Alliance tokens are the easiest to come by of the three.
We also research the :stickup: Deagle which, much like in real life, is rather heavy and impractical.

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Son of a bitch.

Next Time: I know this was a short update. I took too many screenshots but not enough to split them quite evenly. Next update tomorrow morning hopefully.
 

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Hilariously stupid question: have you attempted to run OBS or something to record while you're in the tactical map so you don't have to play quick draw with the screenshot key in hopes of getting That One Frame of the action?
 
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At this point, I'm not disappointed that they threw in a tranny with the fetish art...But it's not out of place, considering half the shit that's going on, at this point.
 
It's also not THAT obvious either.
Frankly, it looks like typical futa porn shit.

And considering half of these were sourced from porn anyway, lol.

Also is the Damsel serving the same role as the Antiquarian from Darkest Dungeon? Exists only as handicap mode in return for more dosh?
 
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Also is the Damsel serving the same role as the Antiquarian from Darkest Dungeon? Exists only as handicap mode in return for more dosh?
There is an early game research branch that allows you to turn them into dedicated mages(for you regular gals magic is pretty advanced mid-game stuff), but I'm not sure how it works or how effective it is.
 
It takes an incredibly long time to actually hold the button down long enough for the items to sell off.
Right click. Maxes it out (or sets to infinite if manufacturing).

We also research the :stickup: deagle which, much like in real life, is rather heavy and impractical.
I thought that was one of the better handguns in the game? I like the Adder a lot, but I made lots of use of it. Probably why I suck at the game.
 
Sorry for the delay, ended up tied up anyway. Maybe tomorrow, Sunday for sure though.

Hilariously stupid question: have you attempted to run OBS or something to record while you're in the tactical map so you don't have to play quick draw with the screenshot key in hopes of getting That One Frame of the action?
My shitbox legit doesn't have the space to record three or four hours of video for me to comb over honestly. I'm a leftie anyway and use the mouse right handed and the game is almost totally controlled by mouse anyway so its not actually too awkward, I just need to pay better attention than I do honestly.

I thought that was one of the better handguns in the game? I like the Adder a lot, but I made lots of use of it. Probably why I suck at the game.
Its a decent gun but honestly given its weight I find its just better to equip the Gal with an SMG or a regular weapon instead.
 
I assume part of the reason why they went with this 'tard-ass looking outfit is there was already a sprite that was similar to this in Xcomfiles.

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Unless XPiratez came out first? I'm unsure honestly but you see these bright green dinguses quite often when dealing with the Church of Dagon cult. Their on map sprite looks like both could pass off for one another, though the Altar Boy looks a bit more like he's wearing a giant glow in the dark condom.
 
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Kooloo limp-edophilia victim!
Beavis was never quite the same after butthole died.

Also weird how they they not adults, and saying regretful and hurtful to rep to kill them. The problem I have with this is, it looks like 30 year old man raided a party city, and found a green ghost face suit.

If they going to try to go the Too young to kill with a clear mind route, make it look younger so it doesn't feel out of place. Which is funny given how bootypedia pages changing artstyle every new entry makes them all feel out of place for different reasons.
 
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I think the bright green suits is supposed to be a reference to XCOM Apocalypse, where they're wearing this lime green bodysuit if you raid a Cult of Sirius location:

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Most of the agency models in Apocalypse are placeholders but Cult of Sirius got the lime green ones since they're supposed to be a prominent enemy faction you can raid regularly.
 
I think the bright green suits is supposed to be a reference to XCOM Apocalypse, where they're wearing this lime green bodysuit if you raid a Cult of Sirius location:

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Most of the agency models in Apocalypse are placeholders but Cult of Sirius got the lime green ones since they're supposed to be a prominent enemy faction you can raid regularly.
That makes a hell of a lot more sense than it being just a generic fashion choice. Their later tier comrades drop the sherbet colored Klan robes for blue and green wizard robes (recreation of the original Ethereal) so I always found it a touch out of place. I believe CoS also shows up in XcomFiles but they're a later opponent once you've slapped your first few cults.
 
8. Dark Halls


(SonicClang - Classic Doom 3 E1M2)

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Another one of these.

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At least I get to catch up on the screenshots I missed. So, apparently this first room here actually was the Beast Den/Burrow, and the room in the shot after it is the lower floor of the Prison. You can probably see how I got them confused at least.

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Here is our Hellerium extractor and the horrific winding set of tunnels that it leads down into. I suppose the idea is for the player to be able to use these tunnels to mount a defense of the base if you're really outclassed by whatever is invading the base, but I'd prefer to avoid having to fuck around with them at all costs.

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I get the Gals set up in standard positions. Unarmed Gals and Disc are just kept out of the fight for now, I might move Disc up for some target practice once we take out their drones.

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Wait, these guys don't look like they're from the Academy...

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Definitely not from the Academy!

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I don't care who they are, fire, fire!

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They look tough but they die like anything else.

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I move some of the other Gals up. Peasant and Sea Urchin are unarmored but I think we'll need all the extra shotguns we can get.

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Watch it!

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It'll take more than a little heat for Figger Naggot to lose her cool. She wipes out another one of those big bastards with a rotary gun and falls back. Elsewhere, NerdShamer and Moths work to secure the Access Lift from both the ground floor and above respectively.

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The turn notifier is a reference to the Soviet Order 227, which mandated the creation of penal battalions and blocking brigades during the Eastern Front in WW2. The penal battalions were designed as punishments for cowardice in the face of enemy (real or perceived) while the blocking brigades were designed to prevent troops from breaking and retreating. On the actual battlefield it didn't have much of an effect as most commanders would rather spend the manpower they had on fighting the enemy than creating blocking brigades while the penal battalions are acknowledged to have reduced morale. The slogan "Not a step back!" though was coined from the document and became a patriotic rallying cry.

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Christ there's a lot more of them than I expected. That creature on the bottom there is where those fireballs came from though.

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This entryway is getting a little crowded.

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Damnit, too crowded!

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To Hell with taking any of these guys alive, we'll scrape up the pieces afterwards.

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Figger Naggot's team on the other side cleans up the rest of the enemies trying to get in through the lone Security Corridor (I had dismantled the other one to prevent exactly this scenario). Sea Urchin and Chuckles continue providing support fire from further down.

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Eventually we've massacred enough of these guys that things start to quiet down. NerdShamer cautiously advances and looks over a dying enemy. He's not a zombie, not like we've seen anyway, but I don't know if you can really describe him as alive in the first place either. Even with most of his guts spread out on the floor he still hisses and chatters at her in some kind of otherworldly speech.

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The Gals move up, and even secure both hangars. The enemy is toast it looks like, so why hasn't the battle ended?

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I take a wild guess that one of the enemies we knocked out earlier has gotten back up or regenerated somehow. I have The Valeyard go after him, despite her apparently having just been caught in the shower. I'm banking on the presumption that there's just one of these guys left. If there's more than one she might be fucked.

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The last one tries to slip past Sea Urchin and gets blasted just as he's trying to make a break for the extractor tunnels.

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Well, that was certainly more exciting than I was expecting it to be.

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The loot screen is broken due to everything being captured instantly being put into storage, but amongst our new possessions are weapons such as the UAC Shotgun and UAC Chaingun.

Incase it isn't obvious to you as this point, we have just had our hideout assaulted by the demons from the original Doom, wielding Union Aerospace Corporation weaponry. Who they are in service of we do not know as of yet.

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We get another free Damsel from an event, something I wasn't really expecting to happen so soon after this first one. I've had so much trouble getting Disc to be useful to us in the mean time that I'm not exactly eager to take on another Damsel. I'll leave discussion of what to do with this one up to the thread to get a feel for what you guys might want to do with her now that the novelty has worn off.

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Some research that completed in the mean time. Tools & Blades unlocks most of the other basic medieval weapons along with its category.

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We also finish up research on Jack's bounty prize, which allows us to purchase Deagles and electric whips off the black market. The electric lasso seems quite interesting actually, I might start using it on more common missions. In the mean time though Disc needs the target practice.

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Speaking of which. I'm able to finally pack Disc with some extra ammo but that's about it. She's still a lightweight in the extreme. Kane Lives is the only other Gal on this mission unfortunately given everyone else is wounded after the encounter with the demons.

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Kane is given the explicit order that Disc is to gun down at least one enemy, hopefully two or more. A Warehouse raid is really not the ideal mission for this sort of thing, but fortunately the terrain is favorable. Kane has to resort to exposing herself to keep enemy attention focused on her though rather than Disc once cover gets scarce next to the road.

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Disc finally hits something! Its an unarmed civilian laborer, but who cares, if it moves it dies!

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She misses another shot and somehow miraculously takes out the door greeter robot.

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The zone is just too hot though, so Kane Lives has to clean up the guards a little.

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Finally, a kill! It was a fellow strong, independent woman just like her though, one of the sisterhood! Was it it worth it?

Wait a minute, she's poor. Nevermind, her life was worthless.

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In Kane's opinion she's fulfilled her obligation as commander of this annoying rich kid so she takes point and has them both move up. There can't be very many enemies left, but Disc is out of ammo and insists on picking up the fallen Guild Hostess's revolver to keep the fight going. Kane figures, why not.

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A lightly armored Guild Operator appears. Disc manages to hit him twice actually, once even hitting to wound. The weedy little six shooter does very little against a target like that of course, but hey its a good hit. Kane Lives gets a good hit in too but the guy stays on his feet.

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FUCK

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The fucker returns fire and either due to the window or the way XCOM's geometry works with corners, Disc takes a direct hit and is dropped bleeding to the ground. I have Kane Lives empty her vodka, but Disc has more than 5 wounds and Kane Lives only has one bottle on her! Fuck! All that's left is to hope Kane can take out the last few enemies on the map before she bleeds out...

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The G.O. is the last enemy on the map apparently, considering he passes out from blood loss on his turn and the battle immediately ends.

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Disc survives by the skin of her fucking teeth.

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Some research finishes up in the mean time. I may invest in the Hellerium Charm, particularly if it stacks (though I doubt it does) since most of my Gals have a bit of extra carry capacity and small bonuses could help. The UAC shotgun, which is apparently supposed to be the Doom shotgun rather than the Heavy Shotgun, is somewhat underwhelming given its immense weight. The fact that the Heavy Shotgun can accept slugs at some point is another thing that motivates me to stick with it over the UAC model. Its Time Unit cost is a bit better than the Heavy Shotgun though. I dunno, I may switch the Gals who have a lot of extra weight to spare to it in the future.

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New type of mission I'm surprised didn't come up earlier. We're here to hunt the dreaded White Shambler. The name of the mission references the Wampa snow monster from The Empire Strikes Back, but the idea of hunting them down specifically comes from the old as fuck Atari game M.U.L.E. where players could use spare time on their construction turn to "hunt the Wumpus" for extra points.

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Hopefully this mission is still as easy as I remember it being.

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This thing is pretty tough, it shrugs off two grenade blows and takes a few shells to finally go down.

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Fuck's sake.

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This mission takes way too long. The map is clearly based on one of the harbors from Terror From the deep and thus is filled with tons of little nooks and crannies and annoying structures to clear out. At the very least we now have the proper grenades to take out those armored goons with.

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All of the fucking civilians die again.

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Evidently the mood at the base has been a little dire so the Gals chimp out with a party after finishing research on bananas.

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Fucking great.

Next Time: Hopefully we can be in two places at once.
 

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Wait if Doom is Canon does that also mean doom marine is canon? If so, is he recruit able? I don't think the gals would mind him not being a gal, given he has more then proven himself badass enough.

Oh God what if in this canon it's Gal Marine.
 
"*See's update* Oh boy, another XPirates update! What kind of shenanigans are our weirdly fetishistic gals gonna get into this time?"

*Mind immediately after seeing the enemy*


HOLY SHIT DEMON SCUM EVERYWHERE!

Boss, you gotta get more folks into the base quick, we're gonna need all the firepower we can get if demons are involved! And if it's DOOM demons we're talking about...

Lets just pray Doom Guy is in this universe. Otherwise, we're screwed six ways to Hell...
 
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