Let's Sperg Let's Play Zoo Tycoon 2 Modded to Shit

[Bugaboo]

The premise:
Zoo Tycoon 2 has a fairly large modding community considering it's a game where you clean up poopies and it started in 2004. Let us explore the rich world of Zoo Tycoon 2 and it's mods and have some fun (fun not guaranteed)

Spoiler: The Mods

This one's gonna be long and incomplete because I pretty much just found a bunch of mods and dropped them into the game and I didn't write down which ones I download but I'll try and list the big ones
-European Expeditions
-A bunch of shit from Zeta Designs (including Obessional Ocean)
-A bunch of HENDRIX's stuff mainly Wildes China, Amphibia and I think the tarantulas and centipede things are his too
-A hack to change all animal's space requirements to only 2x2 squares per animal

Spoiler: Questions Nobody Asked But They Might Ask Them Later

Q: You are crazy crab lady where are the crabs?
A: I haven't looked into it but back in the day any crab mods were ambient animals (cannot be fed, cannot breed, cannot be looked at by guests and they eventually disappear. Because of this I have no crabs atm, anyway I don't think anyone has made a hermit crab mod yet
Q: CAN YOU GET X ANIMAL
A: Maybe, I'll have to look for it, you can pretty much get any dinosaur or extinct animal as a mod because modders really dig shit that died 100 billion years ago, farm animals are quite popular too. As for shit that doesn't exist eventually I'm going to add the Paranoia pack (cryptids and mythological creatures) but I'd rather not anything beyond the animals in that pack because 90% of the fantastic beasts mods are either poopy or from like TV shows.

Ok so here it is: The Kiwi Zoo and Tarantula Farm

Our proud history involves me having too many tarantulas and weird thangs and I had to buy a zoo to store them all and to make money I also had to make it a zoo (I know I have unlimited money shut up) because who pays to look at tarantulas

Here is the main tarantula display case (actually a building) the tarantulas in the game are actually actual size and it's a lil weird to have them in giant bathroom sized enclosures but whatevs

This is Beanz, she is an Artholycosa which is one of the earliest spiders and is also extinct, don't ask how I obtained her because it involved spider-necromancy (the model for Artholycosa is actually way too big, it would have only been like 2 inches, also if you look the model is literally flat parts arranged in a spider shape)

This is an Arthropleura which is an ancient giant millipede, also I forget it's name but I'm guessing it's something like Tip Tup. Obtaining it also involved necromancy
(There's also a Goliath Bird Eater I forgot to get a screenshot of but her name is Toots and she has the same model as Beanz but the skin is different)

I also had to build a new building to house an animal I got because ain't nobody gonna come look at my extinct arthropods (which may or may not be zombies, I haven't really figured that part out) I just got a random egg and I dunno what's in it

Here are my highly trained ticket takers where you buy tickets to look at whatever is in the egg. They are actually trapped in there and sometimes we give them food. I found them in a local furry containment camp

Here's the egg, or more accurately the giant crate it came it. I wonder what it will hatch into perhaps you can guess viewer (if you know the game maybe you'll figure it out)
Anyway tell me what kind of stupid bullshit you want to see in the next part, I'll do anything (even drive the zoo to ruin but lets not ruin it immediately) build anything (that is physically possible in the game) or try to find any animal you want (if there is a mod of it)
Also I have the Marine Mania pack so we could make Blackfish: The Game (except I can't get the animals to murder people sadly) if you guys wanted

 

[DrJonesHat]

It's a pity you can't make the animals escape and murder the guests. Will no one indulge my sociopathic fantasies?

 

[Bugaboo]

It's a pity you can't make the animals escape and murder the guests. Will no one indulge my sociopathic fantasies?

You can~ But only dinosaurs can murder people, regular animals just kind of heckle them and the people flip their shit.
Edit: if you go the route of "set dinosaurs loose" there will be a death match between the animal in the egg and the dinosaurs and it will be fucking incredible for reasons you will have to see to believe

 

[DrJonesHat]

I believe you. Also, you should note that I've written a strongly-worded to the Crown about the unforgivable discrimination you're facing as a Crustacean-Canadian by not having crabs in the game.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Add a bunch of shit from the Paranoia mod, and Dinosaurs.
And then set them loose.
Bigfoot vs Tyrannosaurus Rex.

 

[Bugaboo]

Add a bunch of shit from the Paranoia mod, and Dinosaurs.
And then set them loose.
Bigfoot vs Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I think for now I'm going to do the animal in egg vs the dinosaurs vs people and then we'll do an update where we don't murder people and next update we can have mythical creatures vs dinosaurs vs people
Also children can't die in this game only adults can so I guess it's like Skyrim where you can't kill kids
I'm not 100% sure is paranoia has bigfoot I'll have to double check, it does have the kraken, dragons, mongolian death worms and the jersey devil among other things
Edit: Bigfoot is not in it but it does have Mothman!

 

[Bugaboo]

So I did the rampaging T rex thing and it was way less funny than it should have been. Eventually I put all the people in a battledome and they were all killed but fraps lost the fucking footage
I have a video of the carnage between the animal in the egg and the T rexes but I'm uploading it so I dunno maybe it will be vaguely interesting to some people

 

[Ido]

This is awesome! I never would've thought there were mods for this game, if my laptop could handle it I'd be installing all the expansion packs right now. Oh well, can't wait to see what else the mods are capable of.

 

[Bugaboo]

Alright welcome to fucking weird animal cockfight tycoon

The egg has been taken out of the crate so it'll hatch eventually

Here is the goliath bird eater tarantula which I didn't get a pic of, I was wrong about it's name. The arthropluera's name is Toots and this spider's name is Zip Zop

Bob Ross visits the zoo

I had to extend Toots' enclosure to include this rock thing because he was bitching that he couldn't get away from people looking at him. It didn't help so I added a shit ton of trees and that didn't help either. To please my giant millipede perhaps a cleansing of all humans is in order...

The egg hatched! This cute lil poop popped out

Something is a little off with him but I can't put my finger on it... His name is Bruce

When given the option between looking at giant bugs and when looking at an evil penguin people decided to choose the evil penguin

Toots does this weird thing where he thinks he's a cat and he flops over on his back. I think something went wrong with the necromancy in this one...

Bruce grew up to be a proud literally man sized penguin, also we pump him full of steroids so he can be the very best.

Ok don't ask how and don't tell the police but I'm about to set 27 T Rexes loose on the zoo to kill all humans because Toots is a finicky little bitch and he doesn't want their eyes looking upon his beautiful face. Locked everybody in with this sweet ass fence.
So, while I did get 27 T Rexes and I did set them loose they didn't really do much so we kinda had to build a battledome and put all the people in it.
Ok so the next problem, I have no people (actually there were like 5 people left before this) but now I have 27 T Rexes and I am not equipped to deal with this responsibility. I think we're gonna need some good old fashioned penguin based pest control

So it look like 26 minutes but Bruce literally killed 27 T Rexes so everything turned out OK except the zoo is fucking ruined and I have billions of dollars in lawsuits on my hands, I have to close this zoo now so how will I make the sweet tarantula money?

Spoiler: Notes on Mods Used

-The Killer Penguin is actually a vanilla animal, one not many people know about because it's obtained in a weird obscure way. In the Extinct Animals expansion if you try to clone and animal and fail multiple times the Killer Penguin's egg may be the product rather than the animal you were trying to clone. Essentially, it's an animal that is a punishment, guests don't donate much money towards it, it can literally kill every animal in the game, it isn't happy unless murdering things and you can't get rid of it until it gets old and dies. I fucking love this thing though, I keep one in like every zoo. It's actually a reference to a glitch in Zoo Tycoon 1 where Emperor Penguins were able to kill every animal in the game, it's also kind of based on a weird giant prehistoric penguin that was bigger than a man, no word on the real animal murdering everything though.
-When animals are killed they do turn into a carcass of meat, this is also a vanilla feature. You can also buy a fake carcass of meat but one from an animal that is killed will be named "Carcass of x"
-The buildings I housed the animals in are from Zeta Designs, also the letters on the battledome wall that say "Fight to da Death" are also from Zeta Designs. Most of the fences are from Zeta Designs too I think. The buildings that sell shit are from European Excursions and Obessional Ocean.

Next time: Mythical creature/T Rex fighting ring, for fun and profit!

 

[Bugaboo]

Ok well this was supposed to be fucking amazing but it wasn't. Paranoia is way way worse programmed then I remembered when I was like 15. I think the big issue is the animals don't really do anything also the models are a little wonky because they're all just modified models which are sometimes quite sloppily done. Also another problem is just that Zoo Tycoon is not really programmed to be a cockfight simulator, animals really only hunt their "natural enemies" except the Killer Penguin which is murder everything.
If you want to get paranoia for yourself, don't. It has not aged well.

Next time: Probably Blackfish simulator except making a not shitty zoo in the process.

 

[Bugaboo]

Ok so I was like "I'm gonna play the Scenario game now but I had so many mods that it kept fucking it up so for the next lil bit we will be experiencing Zoo Tycoon 2 (with all expansions) as God intended it to be
Ok, so I did the first two campaigns which which stupid things that were essentially tutorials and nobody needed to see them
Also the campaigns constantly do this bullshit thing where you just have to fiddly fart around for 3 in game months watching these 4 elephants

As you can see, Christmas has come for them (those boxes are vanilla, they were an official dlc which I think they included in future expansions.)
To stave off insanity I built a waterfall

1 month into Elephant Babysitting Simulator 2016

1.5 months into Elephant Babysitting Simulator 2016: baby flamingo

2 months into Elephant Babysitting Simulator 2016: The elephants found their own town

Ok while I was typing this I guess I won. Cool

I'm gonna go kill an elephant now

 

[ActualKiwi]

Ok so I was like "I'm gonna play the Scenario game now but I had so many mods that it kept fucking it up so for the next lil bit we will be experiencing Zoo Tycoon 2 (with all expansions) as God intended it to be
Ok, so I did the first two campaigns which which stupid things that were essentially tutorials and nobody needed to see them
Also the campaigns constantly do this bullshit thing where you just have to fiddly fart around for 3 in game months watching these 4 elephants

As you can see, Christmas has come for them (those boxes are vanilla, they were an official dlc which I think they included in future expansions.)
To stave off insanity I built a waterfall

1 month into Elephant Babysitting Simulator 2016

1.5 months into Elephant Babysitting Simulator 2016: baby flamingo

2 months into Elephant Babysitting Simulator 2016: The elephants found their own town

Ok while I was typing this I guess I won. Cool

I'm gonna go kill an elephant now

Murder them all but one, then watch as the lonely elephant dies of age.

 

[Bugaboo]

Murder them all but one, then watch as the lonely elephant dies of age.

That would be funny to do if I wasn't trying to win the campaign, atm I'm going to be trying to provide advice on how to be the very best at the vanilla game and eventually we will go back to doing terrible things to virtual animals

 

[Bugaboo]

Welcome to a long fucking update, in this update I'll also be going into detail as to how to make a successful zoo (by the game's standards) still in vanilla because I LIED IN THE THREAD TITLE

Spoiler: Long as shit bro pull up a chair

Ok, so you're playing a Scenario or campaign game and they give you jack shit money and a prebuilt zoo layout made by a monkey. What do? Pause game
Put existing animals in crates and place them at the front of the zoo for now
Delete all decorations, paths, fences and foliage and start rolling in dough
Get rid of all the water on the map and flatten the land completely
Rebuild exhibits for the animals that were already in the zoo in my patented design design not actually patented

Basically all exhibits are squares/rectangles. Every single stretch of path must have
a place to sit (several)
several trash cans
At least one food stall, drink stall and desert stall
1 donation box (or more if the exhibit is very large
Bathrooms
The reason for this is that the guests are fucking retarded and can't walk 10 meters to go pee pee and throw their trash away
Anyway this Scenario was easy and required no effort so I did not explain it and I won woot woot

Ok the next Scenario (in the prevent animal abuse campaign) is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life because if you do the thing I told you to do (delete everything, obtain infinite riches) you don't need to even build a proper zoo and instead you just build cages right next to each other, no paths or guest amenities, just close the zoo actually don't deal with their bullshit. Anyway it's a timed mission where they give you an animal and you make a nice home for it and then they give you the next animal unless of course the game fucks up and I put the kangaroo in a proper habitat and they're like "NOPE YOU DID IT WRONG"

I made some improvements after restarting the scenario which I hope cements my feelings towards the game

I was going to show you my progress in the Scenario but it's really boring so I won't, basically I got a bunch of animals, made homes and then they gave me one more of each animal and I had to release one of each of the species they gave me to the wild

Ok this next scenario is where it gets more difficult (you need to do actual zoo management to collect money)
They only give me 15 k that's not enough to make exhibits for animals in each major biome

To start off I build a cage and adopt 6 peacocks because there are a few things that increase donation amounts (your zoo thrives on donations, every other way is potatoes)
-Lots of animals
-Baby animals
-Animals that are entertaining (play with animal toys and shit)
-Rare animals
-Educational donations happen from educators, discovery kiosks and grouping plants and rocks with animals from their appropriate biome

Demonstrating my zoo building theory
Also I got 3 Musk Ox's and people and really into them

Really into them.

Peacock doing his THANG

Also during this scenario I make like 50 baby peacocks

Ok you want education donations but educators are expensive and they're not always at their podium talking about animals, this thing is a discovery kiosk and it's 1500 to buy but it's upkeep is less than an educator's salary and it's always in the place you need it.

Also at 2 stars of fame be sure to get a compost building! It converts animal poopies to sweet sweet cash. (put it in a far corner away from guests because it smells funny and makes they angry

A moment of silence for Musk Ox 1 for dying of old age
I forgot to take pics but I only have 3 more exhibits to make so next time we shall win.

EDIT: Won the Scenario, now when I said during the scenario we made like 50 baby peacocks I was exaggerating, we started with 6 (3 males, 3 females) and we ended with 24 fucking peacocks
Also also, during the later part of the Scenario it literally turned into poop patrol the game because I was running around picking up poo poo to turn into compost and sell

That's a lotta cocks

 

[Bugaboo]

Hello welcome to the next Scenario

Now, with the African Animals expansion this scenario because way easier so that's great

Clearing the land for stuff, I got 7 k from selling trees and shit

Information kisoks are invaluable let me tell you (also me being in the red is a common theme in this scenario)

Getting the poop collecting building is totally essential to success

But then your whole life becomes collecting poop

This Nile Monitor killed the lizard who was supposed to be her mate so she earned a new name (while Nile monitors should be kept alone irl animals in zoo tycoon you pretty much can keep together all the time but sometimes they'll kill each other anyway)

Then she does this thing and I'm not sure is she ok or not like should I call someone

It took about 14 in game months but I done it. Wasn't terribly challenging but it took a while.

 

[Bugaboo]

Hello and welcome back to my sexiest nightmare

So p much I gotta get 3 North American animals and 8 not North American animals

Clear the land as per usual

Now instead of getting regular animals I decide to build a extinct research center to find fossils and make free animals, what could go wrong?
(The upkeep is literally like 1500 dolla a month and I keep being in debt up to my ears that's what went wrong)

Step 1: Find fossils

Step 2: Build fossil
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit

I decide to make the Aurochs (an extinct breed of cattle) I make a shit ton of them and I forget how many I made but at the end of this update with breeding I was up to 27 fucking cows

*screaming*
The Styracosaurus broke out because they were bored so let me fix this

Ok I gave them a salt lick to occupy them and also I put them in a pit so they cannot escape

Ok they're still bored what do send help

While digging for fossils I found this random giant ball and they started playing with it so it's all good (yes you can find random objects while digging for fossils, I got super lucky)

They were so happy they farted out eggs

Except they're learning to climb!!!

FML all the animals are fucking Spiderman
Shouldn't have used spider DNA while cloning them, curse my love of spiders

Ok so like here is the zoo except I added like 2 more cages after I took this picture so imagine 2 more cages and you're good.
I have 4 more animals to make exhibits for and I'm running out of room
Tune in next time to see if I fuck myself over or not.

 

[Bugaboo]

Hello and welcome back to zip zop tycoon 7
Here is mein zoo, notice the lack of room

Ok false alarm I won I'm pretty fucking great
Funnily enough I made 1 more animal and without putting it in a cage it told me I won, I suppose I only needed the vague idea of an animal to win

Here is the last scenario in the string of "THE GLOBE" this one is the most difficult because it's really the first scenario where you have a time limit to do a complex task. With the base game you need to gain at least 4 stars to win, with expansions it becomes 10x easier where you only need to get to 2 stars the list of animals you should get for an easy win
-Peacock
-Velociraptor
-Protarchaeopteryx
And a choice of either
-Komodo Dragon
-Markhor

Just fiddly farting around to get money for the mountain goat thang

Get fucked game I won who is the superior being now
Next time:
FORCED BREEDING

 

[Bugaboo]

WELCOME TO FUCK TYCOON 2

Spoiler: LONG

Time to get fucking

Pretty much I have 4 different kinds of animals so I just built 4 giant cages

I hired a dancing furry as well

These are so OP
So all 4 animals got pregnant literally within like 5 minutes of each other it was amazing

Cheetah made babus

(They modeled the butthole on the hippo

Beaver baby

Hippo baby

I won get fucked

Let us make more babies

I made the path slightly bigger this time

This is how animals fuck in this game it's kind of hilarious

Randomly they gave me a tiger

Baby Red Panda

It looks like a Pokemon holy fuck

Snow Leopard babies

Then I fucked around until I gained enough donations to win

Alright we're in the home stretch
Ok it's a little boring but they all had babies and at the time the lemur (who was bred in the zoo) had a baby I won so that's cool

Next time
KUNG FU PANDA TYCOON 2