Let's Sperg Let's Sperg: Final Fantasy 1 - Vintage JPRG Autism

[AngeloTheWizard]

Welcome back Kiwis.

So, first things first: I went to a nearby town to stock up. With the Airship, you can go to Gaia, also known as Hawkeye-on the world map, it's a little town positioned right where the "eye" of the bird would be. I went there to stock up on Potions and cottages, and I learned something: The town sells Ice3, which Black Mages can learn. Everything else requires Wizards, but if you want an Ace in the Hold for the Castle of Trials...might as well! You can also grab Ruby Armlets and Protect Rings here, and your current characters can wear them. Enjoy this little trick.

The walk from where I last took a screenshot to the Citadel of Trials is pretty fucking long, and pretty brutal because some of the worst enemies from the rivers are now on land. Hence the Cottages. You can get there using the Ship/Canoe combo, and it's definitely quicker...but fuck fast. We have an airship. AIRSHIP.

Some of you may have noticed that, in my screenshot showing how to use the Earth Rod, we still had the Crown Astos asked us to get. Turns out it's used all the way over here. Hours later. Fuck.

Music: Same as the Western Keep, which is a slowed down piano rendition of the regular Castle theme.

There's nothing on the first floor except a throne that takes us to the second floor in the Northwest. Make sure you're ready going in-there's no backing out (unless you reload your save) once you teleport.

This floor has a ton of teleporters. Screwing them up apparently sends you back to the first floor, but don't worry-I have maps to guide me and I can guide you. The first time you encounter more then one teleporter, take the one on the bottom. Then you'll run across a small corner room after taking the fourth teleporter, again, take the one on the bottom. The 7th teleporter, which is again in a small corner room, is on the right. The last teleporter is next to another teleporter-it's hard to explain in text, so I'll just show you:

The one I'm standing above? That one. But don't be too hasty to run up to it-in the Northeast corner of this room, which you can only reach after taking the 7th teleporter, is a pair of Gauntlets guarded by Clay Golems.

These Gauntlets are awesome. Whoever uses them casts Bolt2, and doesn't even use them up-they stay around for more casting! The effect of it relies on the user's intelligence score, so our mages will get the most use out of them, but still: Bolt2. They're going to be titanically useful in a moment.

The third floor is laid out in a circle, with a few forced encounters along the way, and some extra loot to grab. Run through, grab everything (which includes a Healing Staff, similar to the Gauntlets but it casts Heal1 instead), and confront the bosses!

Unlike other dungeons, these guys are baring our way out, not the chest with our ultimate prize (the Rat's Tail). These guys aren't too tough-throw Dia, Fire, and fists their way and walk out laughing.

Anyway, now that we have the Rat's Tail, where do we turn it in at? There's a series of islands directly southwest of where we parked the Airship-if you didn't bring the Airship, go get it, because we need it to go see Bahamut. And yes, that's who we're turning it into: Bahamut. You can go into every island-there are a few chests to crack, and plenty of people to have nice chats with.

Bruce: "So, not killing the Lich, not killing the Marilith, and not anything else but this stupid tail?"

Bahamut: "It is not a stupid tail! It was left in the Citadel of Trials to test-"

Angelo: "Bro, Jaimas over there punched out those dragon zombies without even trying."

Jaimas: *Flexes*

Angelo: "So I'm not sure how much of a test-"

Bahamut: "Look, do you people want me to turn you all into supercharged badasses or not?"

Everyone: "Yes."

It should be noted that this part is optional, but encouraged. Better gear, better spells, more stat growth, it's all yours. But, what does everyone get?

Warrior: Becomes the Knight, able to use a small amount of White Magic and a lot of new weapons.

Thief: Becomes the Ninja, able to use a LOT of new weapons/armor and also some Black Magic.

Red Mage: Becomes a Red Wizard, able to go up to level 7 in terms of spells, and more gear.

White Mage: Becomes the White Wizard, and can now use all the White Magic.

Black Mage: Same as White Mage, becoming the Black Wizard and getting all the black magic.

Monk: Becomes the Master, gaining a new sprite. That's it.

With new classes, it's time to head around and get all the stuff you couldn't get before, like the Warp spells, and grab what you can for the Knight and Ninja.

Next time: An intense amount of bullshit that needs to be done prior to the Sunken Shrine.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

So, where next? Thankfully, it's close by on the Northwestern continent. UNfortunately, the only place we can park the airship is far away. They realized once we had the airship, random encounters weren't as threatening so they force us to put it somewhere way away.

Welcome to Onlak. Here, we get a few things.

Oh yeah, it's also where the next dungeon is. But, we can't get to the Sunken Shrine unless we have a way to breathe on the way down. To get that, we need to release a fairy at a spring, who will collect a magical thing for us so we CAN breathe down there. And to do that, we need to buy the fairy.

Anyway, there's no weapons or armor here, and to be honest, the magic sucks. We get NulMagic, a spell that raises defense against instant death, but we already HAVE that because we visited Gaia and got ProRings. There's also Heal3, which, we don't really need-the Healing staff isn't great, but Heal3 is only of marginal use. Black Magic includes Saber, which raises attack and accuracy, which would be great-but only targets the CASTER, not anyone else. There's also Blind, and why a blinding spell is level goddamn 7 I won't ever know.

So where's the fairy? In the desert caravan. Where is it? Someone in town tells us it's in the desert to the west, how nice of them. I'm standing just below it in this picture.

The fairy costs 40,000 gil-or 50,000 if you're on Normal. Pricks.

Amazingly enough, we use it at Gaia. Which we've been to once, and where the better magic and all the good gear is. Get Cure4 and Dia4 especially, Ice3 if you didn't before, Break if you must, then consider the Level 8 magic. White Magic includes Holy (FUCK YES!) NulAll (great except that it only targets one person, but still useful), and Dispel (meh). Black Magic includes Banish (mass kill), Doom (single target kill, much higher success rate), and Stop (freeze an enemy in place, kind of fun). There's one more spell at Level 8 we haven't encountered yet, and we won't until after we deal with the Sunken Shrine. If you can't get them now, feel free to hold off until post Shrine.

Head northwest and go past the item shop. Then head past the Rez Clinic to the east, and you'll eventually come to the Fairy Spring.

Use the bottle from your inventory, then talk to the fairy. She'll give us Oxyvale, basically turning the bottle she was in into a bottle of air from D&D (lets you breathe forever).

Now back to Onlak, but let's take a quick detour to make our lives easier later on-the river outside Onlak? Take it all the way north and slide into the waterfall. This takes us to the Waterfall Cavern.

It's a twisty turny maze, but hug the wall and always be going west (and then south when you can't go west anymore) and you'll get to the main objective-a treasure room, and a robot.

We'll get to Tiamat after the Shrine.

Make sure you have Warp2 at least, stay a night at the inn, and grab all the items you need. Next time: The actual Sunken Shrine!

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

I would say I'm making up for lost time, but the truth of it is is I have a four hour period every day where I do absolutely nothing. The people who sign my paychecks call it a job. Suckers

There are two great things about the Sunken Shrine: One, it's attached to a town, meaning that getting out means you can immediately rez and heal up at the inn, and two, it uses the same music as the Temple of Chaos which scores high on my "very favorite FF music" list.

Also unlike other dungeons, we start out in the middle. Up top is a massive amount of loot, including the Rosetta Stone, a key item we need to get the last couple of spells and complete the game. Below is the Kraken, the Fiend of Water and guardian of the Water Crystal.

A little bit of lore sperging: According to the backstory, the Kraken actually appeared to sink the Shrine beneath the waves. This shrine, this temple, was once above the waves. So not only do we have the very cool concept of going underwater to explore a dungeon, but we also have a fiend that actually did something to impact the plot. Ain't that cool?

Where we start is pretty wide and open, with a few gil-packed chests scattered around. Floor 4 is pretty straight forward, there's only one major detour to the north to pick up the very incredible (and Knight exclusive) Diamond armor. Other highlights include the Undead Slayer's joys: A Light Axe (casts Dia2) and a Mage's Staff (casts Fire2).

The top floor is where a bunch of mermaids are waiting, also a ton of loot. Loot the place, chat up the mermaids. To get the Rosetta Stone requires heading to the Northwest and sort of 'wrapping' around the map to end up in the northeast.

One stop down. One to go. Warp out, heal up and save, then dive back in.

The next couple floors are brutal. While 4F at least had no encounter spots, and F5 had no encounters PERIOD, 2F and 1F make up for all of that in spades. Add in detours and alternate paths to get extra loot, and well, welcome to pain.

The good news is, even though getting to 2F actually requires a long train of events that take us back to 4F and then back down, we get some sweet loot-including the Giant's Gloves. Remember how I was bitching about how the Saber spell only affected the Caster, i.e. the Black Wizard, and couldn't be used on anyone else? The Giant's Gloves cast that spell.

And anyone can use it.

And it's not affected by the user's intelligence, as it's just a straight buff.

The Giant's Gloves are the second best item in Final Fantasy 1, the number one being the Rings of Protection.

Now, for 1F, no amount of screen caps or description will tell you what I hate about this floor. So I'm going to show you the map, and the site I've been using.

https://www.retrowalkthroughs.com/final-fantasy-1/maps/sunken-shrine-1f

See that 1, in the Southeast? That's the start point. See the 2 in the northwest? That's the Kraken. There is no treasure, nothing but a long walk to the Kraken. So yeah, it's a brutal floor unless you've saved up a few Cure4s. Which I did.

He's impressed, that just means he's going to fight harder.

Note the stylish cape. It's important to look your best while kicking ass, even Bruce and Jaimas got stylish capes.

The Kraken doesn't have as many tricks as some of his predecessors did. He hits hard, up to 8 times a round, and can blind the whole party with the Ink ability. He has high health and high magic defense, making Bolt3 a less useful spell. Still, the same tactics work, but improved now: Have Jaimas use the Giant's Gloves and get hasted, then do the same to Bruce, and keep up the healing after Tina throws a Shield2 everyone's way.

This works out well. I wish I had taken a capture of this, you'll just have to believe me, but Jaimas did 1679 damage to the thing on the second turn. That's more then the Kraken's health (1600 base), so uh...goddamn.

With the Water Crystal relit, we have saved the mermaids and are one step closer to the end of the game!

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

We are two dungeons away from the end, my fellow Kiwis. Like the Sunken Shrine, there's some things we need to do before we get to the final dungeon, but we've already done some of it. We need the Warp Cube to get to the Fortress proper, but we use the Cube at the end of the Tower of Mirage and the Tower is locked. We can get the key from someone in Lufenia (aka Hawkwing, because the town is on the wing of the bird that is the Northeastern continent), but we don't speak the language, so to learn the language, we need to pay a visit to Dr. Unne all the way back in Melmond with the Rosetta Stone-the thing that Dr. Unne has been searching his whole life for.

Luckily, the actual final dungeon doesn't require any of this crap. It's just "go there, kill them all, win."

Grab everything from Gaia that you want, but haven't yet acquired. Leave one slot open on the Level 8 magics, we're getting the last ones from Lufenia. You can get the Cat Claws, the best dagger in the game and the best weapon for Black Wizards, but considering the price tag it's just not worth it for the weakest party member. Also, if you haven't already, head to the Waterfall Cave and get that Time Cube.

I'll let this one slide, doctor, as you are clearly living under rocks and haven't heard that we killed the fucking Lich (at the very least) and are single-handedly saving the world. And that guy with the funny hat in the back of the party can kill you with his brain.

Anyway, when our business is concluded, it's time to go to Lufenia. Like every other town we've been too since we got the airship-except Gaia-we have to park really far away and walk a really long distance. Sigh...

Welcome to Lufenia, home of the Sky People and land of flowing blonde locks. Bruce is slightly jealous.

The magic shop, the only shop in town, is up in the northeast. In fact, you have to pass beyond the city walls in the northeast and go straight to the east to find it. It looks like leaving the city limits and returning to the world map, but trust me, it's there. The rewards?

Life2, which rezzes an ally and returns him to full HP, and Flare, which is, well, FLARE. All total, 80,000 all together (though I'm told it becomes 120,000 on normal, admittedly, I've been forgetting to alter the prices for normal mode. Still worth it).

Now, the Chime that will let us into the Tower of Mirage.

Or...bell. Whatever.

The tower is nearby, but a desert must be crossed to reach it. And the airship can't land on desert-I guess it would sink below the sands again.

The tower's floors are mostly circular, with some floors having loot in the middle. The third floor is where we're going-but as always, stop to grab the good shit. Also, there are robots-not just enemies, I mean robots like the one that gave us the Warp Cube. Talk with them, if you care to.

Here we are, the teleporter. Be mindful of the Blue Dragon on your entrance, and head on up to the Flying Fortress.

Enjoy your stay.

The first floor is a simple affair. You're in the center. There's loot to the west, east, and south. The way up is to the north. In fact, this whole dungeon is very simple in terms of where to go, which is nice.

Level 2 makes it go 8 ways, with you starting in the north, the warper up in the south, and loot everywhere else, including Adamantite in the southwest. A dwarven smith (back where all the dwarves were when we blew the land ring up) will make Excalibur-yes, Excalibur-if we bring it to him. So, grab it.

Level 3 is a bit stranger. However, you can examine the crystal to the right to find the final dungeon...

The Temple of Chaos. That's right, it's going to end where it all began.

https://www.retrowalkthroughs.com/final-fantasy-1/maps/flying-fortress-4f

This time I'm linking the map for 4F, because it's a little weird. it's a looping map, so you can go right and then down to get to the teleporter. It is devoid of treasure, so just head to the porter. I think in re-releases, it's a bit different where you have to go right two "squares" and then down two "squares", but anyway. Maps!

This is the bridge to Tiamat. Heal up as soon as you hit this floor, because there's an extra foe lurking in the wings...

His name is Warmech. He has a 3 in 64 chance of appearing. HE HATES YOU. Normal mode or easy mode, whatever version, he will show up and nuke you. He is highly likely to get the first round, and may use it to literally nuke you with Atomize. Bruce was at full HP. Not anymore. Warmech has 2,000 HP and recovers 100 per round, and hits incredibly hard. I'm only attempting this fight because I have savestates to use and abuse.

Seriously, he should have boss music. Yo, help a brother out?

You'll do.

Anyway, Warmech is worth 8,000 XP per party member and 32,000 gil. There may not be much to spend it on, but you'll also have the satisfaction of beating a boss that didn't go down in one round to a Hasted/Sabered Jaimas. Sorry @Jaimas. He managed to stand up to you.

After Warmech, Tiamat is easy. You know the drill by now. Tiamat doesn't regenerate, and CAN be one hit killed by poison spells...but fuck it, it's more satisfying to do it the old fashioned way.

Time to finish this. Next time: The Grand Finale!

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Our journey through classic JRPG Autism is coming to a close, my friends. Let us reflect on how we got here-starting off with heroes that could barely lift their weapons or light a cigarette with a spell, up to the world-ending masters of destruction that can take down monsters the sizes of oil rigs and barely slow down.

And to cap it all off, our Knight, Bruce, shall be receiving Excalibur. Just be glad he won't be running Britain anytime soon. Then again, considering their current leadership, Bruce might be a step up...

Spend one last night in Cornelia, hike or fly your way up to the temple, and interact with the black crystal. With the four crystals restored, we can go back to the past-yes, 2,000 years into the past, where the Four Fiends in their original forms, and our true, final foe await...

Music:

Navigating is a little confusing at first, but easy enough. Head to the Southwest, this will allow you to ascend to 2F and just as quickly ascend to 3F. Head to the center of 3F...

And play the Lute. Didn't get the Lute? Go get it. Did you come all the way here without the Lute and without Warp1 or 2? Congrats, you have found the one unwinnable state in all of FF1. I applaud your insane decision to not win the game.

Shred it, Bruce.

The way opens back down to 2F, head to the northwest corner and head down again, then head west and head down to Floor B1, where the REAL final dungeon begins.

There are no treasures to gather, except one. Each floor is home to one of the Fiends, except the final floor, each of which will jump you at the staircase (except Tiamat and Kraken, who are both in the tight hallways just before). Each floor is also a "greatest hits" of the toughest enemies from that Fiend's dungeon. Get ready for a brutal slug fest.

First up, Lich. He's no longer weak to Fire, and exclusively uses Level 8 Black Magic. Have your White Mage NulAll herself, Haste and Saber Jaimas, and blow him up with a flurry of blows. Then, heal the party. Always heal the party.

Marilith: Have Bruce use the White Robe to Invis2 everyone while Tina throws up NulFire-it still helps. Marilith is no longer weak to Stun, so just Haste and Saber your primary damage dealers (in my case, Jaimas) and get to work cutting through that 1,400 HP.

Kraken: Basically the same as Marilith, but sub in NulShock instead-for some reason, the Kraken can cast what would become his weakness. He isn't weak to Bolt anymore, so just buff up and kill.

Tiamat: First off, take a long detour to the Southeast to get the Masamune, a sword that anyone can use and is in fact the strongest sword in the game. If you don't have a monk, give it to your Red Mage or Ninja, if you do, I recommend giving it to the White Wizard, or even the Black Wizard.

By the way, Warmech isn't here.

Tiamat has powerful magic on top of her abilities from before, and will no longer stand for your cheap shots. Have the White Wizard NulAll herself, and cast haste and Giant's Gloves on Bruce-that's right, not Jaimas. Tiamat has Poison, and Jaimas can't wear a Protection Ring without taking a massive Defense/Evasion hit, and Poison comes first in the spell rotation, meaning your Monks will likely die. Lay on the hurt, and finish Tiamat off.

The final floor has no encounters, so breathe, heal up, and get ready to face the final boss...

...Garland?

Bruce: "And yet here you are."

Garland: "Yes, but the four fiends brought me back in time and healed me. I then sent them into the future to destroy the world...thus completing the cycle."

Garland: "I shall be immortal in this endless cycle of past and present! I will live forever! Even though I always die in the future, and never succeed in what I set out to do, because you heroes always make it here! So I never really win! OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS AWFUL KILL ME!"

As you can see...I forgot to heal.

Chaos HURTS. The White Wizard should focus on Nul buffs, starting with Ice and ending with Fire. He has spells and skills he uses in a cycle when he decides to use them, and in the middle of the spell cycle is Cure4-yes, the same one you use. And with 4,000 HP, that's a lot of work he just undid.

If you do beat him, he explodes. AWESOME.

(Jump to 1 hour, 9 minutes to enjoy the finale)

Now, it's time to enjoy the wrap-up. The day is saved, the heroes are finally victorious, and Chaos is no more. But, that's not the end, is it?

Til next time, Kiwis.