"Look at this person I voluntarily chose to have sex with before determining whether or not he was a loser: what a loser."
—most of these stories.
Maybe you guys don't mean it this way and it's just striking an unrelated bare nerve, but that kind of attitude grinds my gears like nothing else.
Unless you were actively deceived, you can't act like you're above someone you chose to have sex with. Ever.
First of all, you're not. That's just a fact. You let them fuck you. You got FUCKED (I don't like to swear, but this is really the only word). That's the brass tax.
Second, it undermines sex as a concept. I don't even mean that in a moralizing way: I mean that in a functional, compositional way. It's bad sportsmanship—bad faith. Just like games do, sex presupposes a certain reciprocity: it assumes that you're taking each other seriously as contenders. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't be playing against them. It isn't fair to the other person, but maybe more importantly it undermines the game.
Imagine if it were a common thing for higher-level chess players to play against randoms and then imply afterward that they weren't taking those randoms seriously. Who comes out looking worse from that, the chessmaster or the poor bastard who thought there was some honest reciprocity? Who would want to play chess, once they found out that was common? And the same thing has been done to sex. People act like they're better than the people they lowered themselves to the level of.
I post in the gooner thread sometimes (I'll leave my level of involvement in the subject matter to your guys' speculation). I've seen a lot of
awful stuff. One of the worst things I ever saw, though, was this:
There's some sort of e-orgy going on and one guy (no, it's not me) hears about another's friend group. He goes, "hey, can I meet some of these guys?"
And the response is "Nah I dunno you like that." And these guys are actively vocally gooning to dragons and stuff together with all sorts of lovense integration and all kinds of crazy things. You can do all that and more with these people and not be "inner circle" material. One of the most vile things I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot. A whole lot.
Again, maybe you guys don't mean it that way. It just really grinds my gears.
