Literal Deep Thoughts - How would you describe your ability to think?

How would I describe my ability to think?
It's pretty straightforward. I just drink from a rancid cesspool of chaotically fractured memories. Violently regurgitate that into a 5 gallon bucket. Then pour it through a large screen (for coherency) if speech is required, add a wire sifter (for syntax). Voilá!

Something that resembles a thought appears.
 
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I'm totally unconscious. I don't daydream or anything, when I do get a head voice it's a big deal, like I'm all "wow, how've you been? it's been so long!"

The twenty-year-old meta-cognitor image is frighteningly me.
 
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If you sit down and talk to God (pray, but I say "talk to God" because I mean a specific kind, sitting Indian style before your shrine and just talking conversationally like to a normal person) about your life you'll admit lots of things you wouldn't otherwise.
 
In my life I'm frequently regarded as a thoughtful person. This is because I like to think things over. Hence my participation in this forum.

I like to engage in a variety of ways of thinking, and my thought patterns are rarely verbal. I struggle to put my thoughts into words, typically.

This might get me classed as an npc, as my internal thoughts are less a monologue and more wordless thoughts conflicting with each other. If my thought patterns had been in words it would be a fiery debate rather than a monologue.

I have ideas and thoughts that are in strong conflict with one another. I get strong forces for and against an idea inside of me. I wonder if people notice that strong inner war, because I'll voice the result as if I'm certain things are the case that way. After, treason never succeeds. Because if treason succeeds it wasnt treason. Or in other words, the winner takes it all.

I think this idea of the NPC is just a funny popular thing. The internet flame wars thrive on making people feel insecure about things they have never thought about and the idea of their being an internal monologue or not caught on for a while.

But there is nothing in the research that suggests that these people without internal monologue have less autonomy, independant thought or are somehow more slavish towards media propaganda. It was just a funny and effective meme.

It also appeals to how people experience the world; they are at the center of every experience they have. Even if they listen to a speech, they are themselves at the center of all of their senses and thoughts. And some people that look like other people say things that sound exactly like things that have been heard before.

It's easy to think of other people as npcs.

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I don't know how it is for other people, but there is so much going on at once with thinking, that though I can observe some of it and report on it, it's like a giant orchestra, but like an orchestra that's preparing to play, one person is adjusting their instrument, another warming up their fingers, another is having a conversation.

It's only when I focus that the orchestra plays together. Programming, fighting, business talks. Especially anything competitive. Sex.
 
I tend to put my thoughts into a play of a kind. I don't know if I can say it works and I'm terrible at keeping time but there's that.
 
I think of my mind as three individuals who are always in conflict with each other.

1 which does difficult but rational things that I know would bring progress and positive outcomes.
2 which just wants to do the easy way out and go back to doing things that are relaxing or appeal to me.
3 which is constantly criticizing the others to rethink the best course of action because some issue or another.

It helps a lot during puzzle games like Zelda and strategy games like Fire Emblem and Age of Empires. It's nice to take a step back and think about things from different perspectives.
 
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