Lolcow vs. Facepalm

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mendoza

mendoza

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 25, 2013
Just throwing this out there...

Granted Chris is in a class all by himself so we can't even use him as a good standard of measure.

But what are the magical qualities that make for a good general lolcow, good for consistent and sustainable milking of lulz, vs. a run of the mill waste of space that at first glance might look like a lolcow but then when you look closer all you can manage is a sad facepalm and not another fuck to give?
 
I don't think it's a coincidence that a lot of lolcows were born in the 80s and 90s, when the misguided self-esteem movement was hitting its zenith. This is why lolcows will go to ridiculous lengths of egocentric showmanship, so they can feel good about themselves without actually contributing anything, much less reflect on how unexceptional many of them are.
 
I have actually been mulling over starting a thread trying to ascertain what conditions, ideologies, and media are most conductive to creating a true lolcow rather than a generic idiot.

Personally I would say that the thing that links many of the lolcows seen in the forum topics we have created is a deep bitterness with the real world and ordinary people, and a desperation to reject reality in favor of something both far better, and which bestows upon them the status they think they deserve.

this "status" could be something small (i.e a belieber's desperation to believe they have a personal relationship with Bieber), something fairly egregious (i.e. the political conspiracy theorists desperation to be seen as "heroic freedom fighters" or revolutionaries who will go down in history), or something terrifyingly huge (i.e religious fundamentalists who want to watch billions of people burn in god's personal sex/torture dungeon while being waited on by angels, or political psychos who want to become new hitler), even those with the more tenuous connections to reality like Chris want to be "kings of their own little world" both figuratively in Chris's delusion of being above the law and rules of decency, and literally with CWCville.
 
^ Exactly right, that kind of narcissism is what separates an idiot from a lolcow. A run-of-the-mill idiot just does dumb things. A lolcow does dumb things and demands that the world praise him for it.
 
^ I would not even say a lolcow has to do dumb things, only that he be praised, celebrated and have his/her delusions of grandeur happily accepted by everyone. This is why Smeyer, for all her idiocy does not count as a lolcow as she has not undergone a crusade against anti twilight fans and tried to rally her supporters to fight them, she has rather smartly stayed right the fuck out of it.

This seperates her from Gloria tesch for example, who chose instead to bully and censor her critics while engaging in pathetically blatant self glorification using sockpuppets online.
 
I think another crucial aspect of a lolcow is that the laughs often grounded in something larger and more serious, even dark.

Take Gloria Tesch: it's funny to watch everyone pop her precious little bubble of a half-assed media frenzy, but those laughs are aimed less at Gloria and more toward her parents, who embody all the worst perceptions and stereotypes of their socioeconomic class, who mindlessly dole out praise and rewards; have no empathy for how "the little people" do it; and are possibly forcing her to live a life she doesn't want to lead.
 
LOLcow qualities:

1. Very eccentric behavior and opinions. Examples: Chris's sweetheart search, ADF's queermunism, the Loveshys' assumption that the government should provide them with women.

2. Trollability. Not a must but a big contributing lolcowy factor. The easier a person's berserk buttons can be pushed, the more lulz.

3. Creepy sexual behavior or fetishes. Examples: Again, Chris's retarded girlfriend attraction methods and - later - tomgirl shit. JustinRPG's pokemon scat fetish. Pamperchu... I don't think I need to say more.

4. Weird dress style, incorporation of fandoms or idiosyncrasies into clothing. Examples: Chris's medallions, Anthos's Autobot pirate costume (the latter is actually sorta cool IMO), ADF's uniforms.

5. Infantile character traits: Living at home, not having a regular income, being completely dependent on parents. Examples: Chris's holing up in his room in Casa Chandler, Pamperchu's voluntary decision to live like a baby.

6. Exhibitionism, especially online exhibitionism: Being completely open about one's sexual life and preferences, talking about them at length on the internet, revealing embarrassing personal details on the web, doxing oneself. This facilitates trolling (see point #2) and exposes point 3. for all the world to see. Pamperchu's diaper fetish could be seen as a weird, yet legitimate sexual kink if he DIDN'T FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT IN HIS VIDEOS FOR THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO WATCH.

7. Narcissism, unwarranted self importance. This is what drives points #6, #4, #2 and, to an extent, #1. Thinking him- or herself as a genius, the LOLcow expects endless praise from the world for stuff that is actually very trite and retarded. Examples: Chris's Sonichu comic, Gloria's Maradonia crap, Anthos's anti-trolling vigilante act.

Note that lack of intelligence is not among these points. Some LOLcows may actually have a high IQ - good raw intelligence, but they are nonetheless completely retarded in the field of social interaction or managing their everyday life. So the difference between a LOLcow and an idiot is simply that the idiot is boring, the LOLcow is entertaining because of the strange crap he or she will do and put up on the internet for everyone to take part in.
 
Pretty much what DykesDykesChina said.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
4. Weird dress style, incorporation of fandoms or idiosyncrasies into clothing. Examples: Chris's medallions, Anthos's Autobot pirate costume (the latter is actually sorta cool IMO), ADF's uniforms.
Click to expand...
TheUnknownAutobot.png

Seconded.
 
If I may add on to DykesDykesChina's great list

8. Near-total inability to learn from their mistakes. They are so convinced that they are right about everything that they cannot believe that their actions could be the cause of their trolling. They instead place the blame on others whether it be individuals, groups, or even a vague "them". This then causes a lolcow to repeat the same bad behavior over and over again, actively refusing to learn.
 
An Ounce of Vagina said:
If I may add on to DykesDykesChina's great list

8. Near-total inability to learn from their mistakes. They are so convinced that they are right about everything that they cannot believe that their actions could be the cause of their trolling. They instead place the blame on others whether it be individuals, groups, or even a vague "them". This then causes a lolcow to repeat the same bad behavior over and over again, actively refusing to learn.
Click to expand...
Its a trend in the Autism community
 
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