Lookism.net - Sluthate's Even More Autistic Spinoff

[ChuckSlaughter]

But that's definitely not one way. The same happens to attractive women - no-one here is denying that being attractive gives you an advantage in certain things, like getting people's help or attention. It's just as unfair for unattractive women as it is for unattractive men. But the attractive person still needs to prove themselves worthy of that attention, otherwise it quickly dries up. There are plenty of traditionally attractive people that are horrible on the inside, and that subsequently makes them seem far less attractive once their personality is known.

Try things like dating websites, they let you get a message in through the door to be considered. A picture as well, but you're far more likely to get someone's attention that way than waiting for them to approach you. I'm not exactly a 10/10 woman myself, but have had lots of success once I stopped waiting to be approached and actually took the initiative to seek myself.

Tbh an aggressive girl will kiss a bunch of frogs but will end up with a better dude as loing as she can dump guys that don't measure up.

 

[melty]

I'm fully aware I have a bit of a mental problem anyway which I'm getting counselling help for. My obsession with looks, and jealously of good looking people is out of hand.

However, my opinion of quality of social life and popularity correlating with attractiveness still stands. I've had long chats with my friends and family about this sort of thing and although they disagree with some stuff I say, they do agree with things like people infer your personality characteristics from your physical traits.

I know looks aren't solely the reason why I've failed to have any romantic instances with girls in my life, but it irks me to see arrogant and obnoxious guys get away with things, have great social lives and are constantly enjoying life, just because they look attractive.

----------

One thing that I'll add that's important, is that just like SH, lookism is a big circle jerk. While I stand by my post about Love Island, a lot of it is tongue-in-cheek and written for comedic value.

I'm really glad to hear you're getting counseling. That shows a level of self-awareness and eagerness to improve that most SHers and similar type people don't have. I think you might make it
I do think being attractive helps with social life, but I still believe that you and other SHers vastly overestimate by how much. Really, it just opens up so many more questions, if you have the awareness to consider them. In the end, you're chasing something you think will improve your life but in a lot of ways, it won't. Whatever you feel is keeping you down is most likely primarily in your mind and has much less to do with your immediate environment, save in cases of extreme poverty, or maybe if you're deformed or something.

 

[HickoryDickory]

That's why I liked The Joe Schmo Show. Everything is a lie!

 

[Baryon Jones]

Warhammer and 40k

Ohhhhh, who'd you play? Me, I'm orks or skaven. FUCK YEAR CLAN SKRYRE!

It hard when you completely legitimately have a defect though.

Spoiler: totally power levelling, but it was bound to happen

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facioscapulohumeral_muscular_dystrophy

I don't want to indulge in onedownmanship, I just want to point out I'm not talking out of my arse.

EDIT: sorry @flossman, forgot this:

 

[SU 390]

I used to have loads of interests, like surfing, hiking, football, minature wargames, video games, but I've lost interest in the last half year or so.



I've got a bit of a dilemma here. I know I should be getting help, but the sessions are ridiculously expensive. Also, the cynic inside me can't see how chatting to someone for an hour a week is going to change my outlook.

One other thing, I've got a recessed lower jaw which makes me massively conscious of my side profile anywhere in public, which is probably where a lot of my appearance obsession stems from. I was aiming to have surgery at the end of the year, but it's horrible knowing that it'll use up all the money from my summer job...

Go to blahtherapy.com and sign up. It's free and you don't need face to face interaction if you're uncomfortable talking about things like this. Plus, no one cares about your jaw size around here. No one is perfect. Get over it.

 

[Baryon Jones]

Go to blahtherapy.com and sign up. It's free and you don't need face to face interaction if you're uncomfortable talking about things like this. Plus, no one cares about your jaw size around here. No one is perfect. Get over it.

basically this @scar_face40 : @WanderingVagabond here is a recovering incel. I like him. I even promised not to kill him gruesomely.

 

[LU 961]

Warhammer and 40k




The Uni does, but I couldn't get to see anyone at all before the summer because it was full up.



It hard when you completely legitimately have a defect though. I probably have body dysmorphic disorder anyway, but when can look at a cephalometric x-ray of your side profile and see clear jaw recession that's even more noticeable sans-diagram. it gets you down when you're skinny but have more submental (under jawline) fat than an obese person.

Spoiler

Awful quality photo, but how my jaw and neck should look

I think most of your concerns are part of a self-esteem issue rather than an actual physical defect. That's something you have to discuss with your counselor. Tell them about all of those concerns so they can help you, without leaving anything out. People aren't mind-readers, and even counselors can't tell everything just from looking at you.

Helping you is their job after all. In my opinion, you seem to be a reasonable person that's mixing in with the wrong crowd (hell, you're not an ugly dude, even). Your jealousy of attractive people is also a reflection of your low self-esteem. Once you can change that outlook and learn to love yourself, you'll finally be able to move on and LIVE.

Take advantage of the professional help you're getting; not everyone has the money or resources to get that. And biggest piece of advice? Get off the internet for a bit (especially from lookism and similar sites) and do some activities outside. Being alone will just worsen your negative thoughts. Keep yourself occupied, preferably with other people.

On another note, jaw surgery isn't an easy and painless process. The jaw is kept shut by a device after surgery and you can't eat solids for quite a bit. Not recommended unless it really is necessary...and in your case it's probably not needed, and most likely motivated by your self-esteem issues.

 

[ChuckSlaughter]

Yeah, I did think about it the last time I came over here to discuss stuff, but I don't think this forum could be as fulfilling as one on a subject that I'm pretty fanatical about.

Dumb and agree

Go to blahtherapy.com and sign up. It's free and you don't need face to face interaction if you're uncomfortable talking about things like this. Plus, no one cares about your jaw size around here. No one is perfect. Get over it.

Nice find. Signed up.
Have you ever considered you're not bad looking but actually crazy?
Look on the internet at people who have episodes of sorts, manic depressives, bipolars, schizos, some of them know crazy is what keeps girls away and when they're ok they do really well.

 

[DiamondInTheRough]

basically this @scar_face40 : @WanderingVagabond here is a recovering incel. I like him. I even promised not to kill him gruesomely.

@WanderingVagabond got laid? Congrats bro

 

[Baryon Jones]

@WanderingVagabond got laid? Congrats bro

Dunno about getting laid, but I do know that he's recovering from a near moribund fascination for conflating sex and self-worth. That latter thing meaning he's not a tedious shitlord, which probably will result in getting laid. I'm sure this is some kind of Aesop's fable for the internet age...

 

[MACH-IV]

One other thing, I've got a recessed lower jaw which makes me massively conscious of my side profile anywhere in public, which is probably where a lot of my appearance obsession stems from. I was aiming to have surgery at the end of the year, but it's horrible knowing that it'll use up all the money from my summer job...

Don't get surgery unless your jaw is not able to function properly and/or causing you physical pain. It won't give you the results you want (magically curing depression/lack of confidence) and you'll want to get another surgery to fix another part of your face, and then another and you'll wake up after each surgery feeling the same way.
Anybody who says that looks don't matter is severely mentally challenged, &/or in denial, but you're never as ugly as you think. Your lack of confidence is the only thing holding you back.
Lucky for all of us, confidence is something you can learn.

Thinking that you need a girlfriend to feel happy comes from a deeply rooted insecurity based on the (low) value you place on yourself. Even if every girl in the world wanted to bang you, you would still feel like a depressed, unconfident loser when its over. She still wouldn't be able to love you the way you think you need.

I've struggled with depression my entire life, so I know how it is. You can't hang around losers and depressed people all day and expect to get better. The only way to get better socially is to go out and socialize. Challenge yourself to improve instead of looking for the easy way out, like getting a surgery that wont help. The biggest problem with the Looksim guys is that they don't challenge themselves. They cry about why they can't succeed and then look for a cheat code to get past an obstacle that doesn't even exist. Right now you're doing the exact same thing. True change takes time, effort and failure. Make small goals, and start achieving them.

As soon as you get done upvoting this post write down five short term goals. The first is to go to the gym three times a week for a month, if you don't already. The second is to read five books, if you aren't already a regular reader. Another good one is learning to cook five meals, or go to five concerts. Whatever you think is realistic, but still challenging. Now you have something positive you can pursue instead of mindlessly clicking links online all day. Once you've accomplished those goals, make more and add a long term goal as well. I know you're worried about finding a GF, but this isn't a good place to talk about that. Once you start focusing on your own self improvement that problem will solve itself.

 

[DiamondInTheRough]

Dunno about getting laid, but I do know that he's recovering from a near moribund fascination for conflating sex and self-worth. That latter thing meaning he's not a tedious shitlord, which probably will result in getting laid. I'm sure this is some kind of Aesop's fable for the internet age...

I was being facetious. He's still incel, he's just learning how to cope. I guess that's something.

 

[AnOminous]

Don't get surgery unless your jaw is not able to function properly and/or causing you physical pain.

Surgery is inflicting a serious traumatic injury on the body basically by definition. It should only be done to prevent a greater harm.

 

[MACH-IV]

Surgery is inflicting a serious traumatic injury on the body basically by definition. It should only be done to prevent a greater harm.

go to LA and tell that to the richest plastic surgeons...

i agree with you though

 

[melty]

I was being facetious. He's still incel, he's just learning how to cope. I guess that's something.

Is that copecel? I still don't understand that term after all this time, lol.

 

[Pope Gregory IX]

Also, take a University party for example. If an attractive guy walks into the party, whom the girls don't know in advance, the attention will turn towards him and make an effort to talk to him.
Sure, they might talk to him and dislike his personality and walk away, but his 'date-a-bility(?)' has been given the chance to be tested. For the unattractive male, the chance simply isn't there.

I read this as "if a girl doesn't make all the effort, and make me feel special, I have no chance".

The similarity between your mindset and the mindset of a teenage girl is staggering.

I bolded two parts of your statement. The first is true; a good-looking man gets an extra 30 seconds. The door to conversation is slightly easier for him to open. I bolded the second because that's the bullshit you tell yourself so you don't have to try. That is, in SH lingo, your "cope". She doesn't do all the running for you = "Hold me I have no chance".

Ultimately I find it hard to relate to you guys because you seem to completely ignore the things that, from one man to another, make life worth living - stepping the fuck up and putting your balls on the line to ask a woman out being top of my list. The flirting, the asking, the undercurrents of sexual tension - you miss all of this because you're so invested in your cope.

It's just a really odd way for a man to live IMO.

 

[Baryon Jones]

Is that copecel? I still don't understand that term after all this time, lol.

Its a pity they don't define a 'wanker cel', that I could grok.

 

[scar_face40]

I read this as "if a girl doesn't make all the effort, and make me feel special, I have no chance".

The similarity between your mindset and the mindset of a teenage girl is staggering.

I bolded two parts of your statement. The first is true; a good-looking man gets an extra 30 seconds. The door to conversation is slightly easier for him to open. I bolded the second because that's the bullshit you tell yourself so you don't have to try. That is, in SH lingo, your "cope". She doesn't do all the running for you = "Hold me I have no chance".

Ultimately I find it hard to relate to you guys because you seem to completely ignore the things that, from one man to another, make life worth living - stepping the fuck up and putting your balls on the line to ask a woman out being top of my list. The flirting, the asking, the undercurrents of sexual tension - you miss all of this because you're so invested in your cope.

It's just a really odd way for a man to live IMO.

What you wrote makes sense. The thing is, I have taken the initiative in the past. I don't know how some people can approach 50+ girls. get rejected, but still continue to chase them. I find it mentally draining after rejection from 1 girl and it just doesn't seem worth it after a few.
I also think it's a bit more extreme for the really attractive guys than just 'get an extra 30 seconds [chance]'. Some guys at Uni are so good looking, girls practically throw themselves at them.

I know my 'situation' isn't as bad as some guys out there. Part of why I posted on sluthate and lookism is because I generally agree with some of the 'theories discussion. Not that they necessarily apply to me.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

What you wrote makes sense. The thing is, I have taken the initiative in the past. I don't know how some people can approach 50+ girls. get rejected, but still continue to chase them. I find it mentally draining after rejection from 1 girl and it just doesn't seem worth it after a few.
I also think it's a bit more extreme for the really attractive guys than just 'get an extra 30 seconds [chance]'. Some guys at Uni are so good looking, girls practically throw themselves at them.

I know my 'situation' isn't as bad as some guys out there. Part of why I posted on sluthate and lookism is because I generally agree with some of the 'theories discussion. Not that they necessarily apply to me.

You're right, that must be draining. You should take some time off chasing girls for a while, and focus on your education, career, and personal development. Find new hobbies, make a shitton of money, and gain life experience. Then come back to it. You may be surprised at how easy it suddenly is. No girl wants to date a dude who's still a boy.

 

[SU 390]

Dumb and agree

Nice find. Signed up.
Have you ever considered you're not bad looking but actually crazy?
Look on the internet at people who have episodes of sorts, manic depressives, bipolars, schizos, some of them know crazy is what keeps girls away and when they're ok they do really well.

It's a nice site. I haven't been on it in a while. Going back on it soon to let some air out. I do have my moments. I haven't been in contact with women outside the internet and work life. I do want to date, but I just don't have the time and energy at the moment. I'd say my looks are average at best.

@WanderingVagabond got laid? Congrats bro

I'd wish. You're right in a way I am coping at the moment.