So now Kiwifarms is back huh? Well, I hope you don’t mind another story of loss to transgenderism. This is the second of three stories that have definitely affected my life and I promise it’s the last love-related one. Strangely enough, besides Mickey I had another fling in High School with this girl I’ll call Adrian. Now unlike Mickey who was a near constant in my life practically down the block, Adrian and I were basically like crossover episodes.
For a long time, we never attended the same schools despite being very close in proximity, but whenever there were rival sports games during Middle School/High School or just events we would spot each other. We’d exchange looks, and some words, but we hardly spoke. Hell, the only time we really spoke was when a mutual friend of ours held a Halloween party and she had this homemade FNAF Marionette costume. Adrian, I, and everyone else took turns playing 6-player Smash Bros for Wii U because our friend didn’t have enough controllers for 8. Anyway, we were mutual for a couple of years. So then High School starts and originally we also went to separate high schools, but whoop. However, due to our classes, things began to change drastically.
The ambition was an understatement if you had to pin what I was. I knew this was my chance to amass an excellent portfolio and finally become who I was meant to be. My extracurriculars were my bread and butter, namely video production. I had over 150% in that class in one semester at my absolute peak. Whenever some kind of school event or thing was going on even without asking I would go out of my way to be there. I even got other teachers' permission to leave class just to film whatever was needed for the school news. So I had this healthy work schedule of staying up till 2 AM doing all my homework and editing fun little sections together for our school news. Something the art school did was advertise their events before and after to build hype. So they reached out to our video teacher and soon some of our football team and I were on the way to their campus.
Coincidentally enough Adrain was also on her school’s video team. So while we collaborated and filmed we finally started talking like people. Of course, it wasn’t just her, but we clicked pretty well, and the next thing I know we were talking and friends on Insta and her number. Besides some on-and-off talk, nothing really happened until she moved to my school the following year due to being expelled from the art school. It should be noted that similarly to Mickey she was a tomboy as well. Though she leaned far more right than- well almost everyone I know and was more hands-on and abrasive. While I used to be one of the tallest people at my old school, Adrian was also as tall as a chick and had a fantastic wardrobe.
While I kept up my grades Adrian and I (plus some other pals sometimes) would ditch frequently. Eventually, once Mickey had dissociated because of my “transphobia” I had found solace in someone else. Soon enough Adrian and I hung out all the time, we showed each other old projects and art, shared goals and dreams, had very similar and skewed tastes, and had god complexes. Our skill sets both equally complimented one another's! Around others and especially each other it felt like we were unstoppable. But who am I kidding? We all know what thread this is.
Before Adrian and I were an item and she was in this shitty relationship she was always super flirty with me. I mean more touchy and grabby than anyone I knew and even I had to comment on that. Eventually, during our time alone she asked me if I thought she’d make a cute boy. Of course at the time I concurred, but the deeper and more and more apparent she wanted to transition. Though she never took the initiative on it until much later and believe me she took initiative on everything! But I digress, she even used to tell me about how bad trooning out was and even bring up statistics and everything else about how life-ruining it was. Then the pandemic happened, we both moved, had to resort to distance dating, and then she came out to me as a Transman. She still kept her same name but eventually took tons of initiative on becoming trans. Getting testosterone, binders, etc. Through photos and video calls, I saw the transformation before my eyes and thought nothing of it too much. Eventually though being in a distance relationship I couldn't keep up with her rising sex drive. We weren’t 18 and I laughed at the proposition of e-sex and didn’t want to exchange nudes. Back home we had absolutely no issues outside of getting privacy, but my lack of taking sex seriously is what ended things. She eventually just owned up one night after a month of being 50/50 distant and revealed she got herself a new boyfriend blatantly and I felt crushed. For a year she quickly became the best and most stable thing in my life and through both of our own struggles and hardships, it was over.
Unlike Mickey, I don’t exactly know what caused Adrian’s transition. She had an absolutely perfect relationship with her father before her transition, which was the only point of conflict I knew about between them. Her mom always wanted a son and apparently used to tell Adrian she had too much masculine energy. Despite how far right and messed up Adrian’s humor was to outsiders she was in a lot of left-leaning art communities. In fact, her other best friend for years was some FtM person who was a very stereotypical transman name. I can’t pin it exactly, but if I had to guess maybe some sort of sexual trauma, but even then Adrian was the far more horny of the two of us.
Anyhow eventually after she and I were sorta friends for a bit and after some very harsh words from me specifically and some from her I eventually cut contact myself. I wonder genuinely how she’s doing, but I don’t want to talk to her or look at her profiles. From what I know she dropped out of high school, moved back to our hometown, and has a new boyfriend. According to someone they’re floundering, but at this point, it’s not like I have any achievements as of late to brag about. What really sucks is that she was the only person to really ever ask me how I was doing. Just random, “Hey are you okay” even after the split. Eventually, after it was all said and done she even temporarily split with her new boyfriend and wrote what’s meant to be an apology song to me. Apparently, she also wrote about how sorry she was and how unlike myself her current partner was way too possessive and was sexually abusive. Pretty ironic, but what else is there to say?
After 2 years I can’t get her out of my head either. Did I even lose her to transgenderism? She was a tranny who hated other trannies and hung out with them. Would the testosterone even be the only factor in her cheating on me due to her being horny? I don’t know, but in writing this I hope to finally get her out of my system for good. I’m gonna be 21 eventually and I can’t be caught up on past flings.
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