Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Ma_Hooty]

Your former friend is fake and gay. You, L, & H are stunning and brave. I'm glad you guys fucked off.

She seems slightly dangerous. I'm surprised she let you off so relatively easy. I think her popularity is a double edged sword: she is powerful and can wield it like a club, but she's terrified of looking bad and losing power like BPD & other cluster B relatives. She might have a tinge of guilt but really won't care at all as soon as you came back and would blame you and your friends instead, predictably. I think she's worried you guys will call her out eventually, which is great since even if you don't it means she'll avoid you.

You're right on trooning out: she seems to have an unstable identity. I wouldn't be surprised if before she became popular she had even more social media names she wigged out on once they went bad. Trooning is the new baptism, except you can change your name as many times as you want and blame transphobia and not understanding yourself for shitty behavior.

I hope you 3 continue to support each other. Even if she bugs you guys in the future I'm sure you and your pals can get through it.

Thank you, I appreciate it and I'm sure they would too. I'm not someone who pulls punches or condones woke Twitter/Tumblr shit and T knew it thanks to what I was known for when we met- that may be the reason why she let me get off relatively scott-free and hasn't gone after me despite me not blocking her accounts.
She actually apologized on her Twitter as of late (while not excusing it on her mental illnesses, much to my surprise), but the way she talked about the shit she did to H was like she was just a bad friend then a GF who abused her. And all the while it was her friends that forgave her and not...y'know, the people she actually hurt, but both of them cut off all contact with her, so I guess that's the only way she could apologize.

But if she really was sorry, she would have tried to distance herself from others who would only drag her down into the mire. She knew my stance on things like loli and shota and while she made a display of not letting that shit slide in her servers, she's still friends with a lot of degenerates who draw it, but hey, that's not my problem anymore.

 

[Rich Evans Apologist]

I've always wondered what it would be like to see a girl that you've fucked full-on transition into becoming a "man". Even if you weren't that much into her, that would probably still be pure psychological trauma, akin to Oedipus finding out that he fucked his mother.

Maybe if you were still in the relationship, but otherwise it's more a sigh of relief. "Phew, dodged that one."
If it's just a hookup thing, it's even less. It's like a storm blew over.

It's just become so common, it's not really worth being shaken to your core by anymore.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I'm not denying that there are borderline delusional teens being coerced into trooning out - but it happens way less often than with the male counterparts.

And their male counterparts are more likely to complete suicide too, so yeah. Less detrans voices.

I can't remember what's more popular: MtF or FtM. The former is more popular over 20 and the later is mostly teens iirc. But that was a while back.

A girl I was friends with during my formative years posted a picture on Facebook the other day just after having her healthy breasts butchered clean off...

I haven't spoken to her in over ten years, but... I don't know, I shouldn't have felt it like the kick in the gut I did.

I always felt solidarity and sisterhood with her as a kid, there weren't many of us that weren't into girly shit and seeing how brave she was gave me the courage to be myself just a little, just as much as I'd allow myself....

I can't believe she drank the koolaid and I'd love to know who fed it to her.

I hate TRA's, deep down I think they ALL know they're lying through their teeth just to be on the 'right side of history', just like the Nazis they're so keen to compare everyone else to. At least there's a bleak irony in their seeming lack of awareness to soften the blow.

I've still felt sick since I've found out.

I would too. Watching someone give in to an enemy, even if invisible, is crushing.

Tomboys and non girly girls really need to stick together. Life and social biology makes you want to be on teams, the key trick is to make your own. But its hard when women are more susceptible to other's opinions and feeling like we need to belong to something bigger. Its terrifying to think all those like you get snuffed out by a need to conform to something they don't need to.

Basically, I feels

I've always wondered what it would be like to see a girl that you've fucked full-on transition into becoming a "man". Even if you weren't that much into her, that would probably still be pure psychological trauma, akin to Oedipus finding out that he fucked his mother.

Probably depends on the relationship you had with her. If you were still her friend, then it would be complex of course, but if it was more of a passing thing, then closer to "what the fuck" I'm guessing. If she was a fucking nut case before then its surprising but not really because bitches be crazy.

seemingly out of nowhere (seriously it’s like my buddy was replaced with a pod person) she starts telling everyone she now identifies as a non binary bisexual transman, starts listing her preferred pronouns all over (even started wearing a fucking pin on her jacket with he/him on it) makes no effort at all to try and pass as male and sends a group message to all her friends telling us what her preferred names are (there was like 12 names there for Christ’s sake)

12 names like 12 disciples... Christ as in Jesus Christ... your friend must be Jesus coming back to life

Once you get to 12 names you have to either pair them down yourself or just be content that your friend will still call you by your old name. That's just too many choices. It's a shame she got volatile, she didn't even stand one deadnaming. Sorry about that, she either is having a weird ass crisis or was planning this for a while as a weird troon baptism to get away from her old self. Wild shit.

My once lesbian friend took to Facebook this week to talk about being a "trans fag" because she's a gay man now. Sigh. I hate this world.

Every fucking month another person I know comes out as trans. It gives me so much anxiety. Like, everyone I know will transition at some point, so I guess I just shouldn't try to get too close to anybody.

And I know this is hypocritical because I used to identify as trans... But God damn, how can nobody I know see how fucked this whole thing is?

You went through it so you can say you see what they saw and still got out of it to be fair.

The thing is, I see a lot of detransitioners go on to have 'reverse dysphoria' and then acting like troons of never accepting their own responsibility, playing the victim, and whining for social media clout point. Even if they don't identify with trans anymore, they still have the mental issue that made them troon out in the first places. A lot of time they still have delusional ideas about their bodies being something that borders on lunacy. I wouldn't say that this is managing. Many want to get cosmetic procedures done - and this feed into medical establishment cashing in another trend again.

I do understand that if they've got their gonad removed, they need to be on hormones for the rest of their life... but not the cosmetic. There's a difference from truly accepting yourself as selling your body to the system, and not all can be returned. So simply seeing detransition as a matter of being another hollow 'brave and stunning'.

All I wish is that those people could accept their body as what it is. And superficial traits from transitioning doesn't stop them from being men/women, if they're born as one. the appearance shouldn't matter.

Man, accepting your body for what it is is one of humanity's oldest struggles. Ever since oog got jealous that ook liked unga more for unga's unique hair color, several hundreds of descendants been chasing that dragon in a sense.

They aren't going to accept it until they mature enough to that point, and its a hard point to reach for them all things considered. Maybe one day, but don't bank on it for most. Most people hate admitting things are their fault, it will extend to the body as well.

Thank you, I appreciate it and I'm sure they would too. I'm not someone who pulls punches or condones woke Twitter/Tumblr shit and T knew it thanks to what I was known for when we met- that may be the reason why she let me get off relatively scott-free and hasn't gone after me despite me not blocking her accounts.
She actually apologized on her Twitter as of late (while not excusing it on her mental illnesses, much to my surprise), but the way she talked about the shit she did to H was like she was just a bad friend then a GF who abused her. And all the while it was her friends that forgave her and not...y'know, the people she actually hurt, but both of them cut off all contact with her, so I guess that's the only way she could apologize.

But if she really was sorry, she would have tried to distance herself from others who would only drag her down into the mire. She knew my stance on things like loli and shota and while she made a display of not letting that shit slide in her servers, she's still friends with a lot of degenerates who draw it, but hey, that's not my problem anymore.

Ofc.

She's not someone I'd count on having a redemption arc. Sometimes people do and it's impressive she even got a good apology off, but yeah, you know her.

If you're lucky, she'll swerve out of the loli/shota containment center and back to a group that gives her attention and love without it. If not, eugh, at least she's not your problem as you said.

 

[Odnovo]

Maybe if you were still in the relationship, but otherwise it's more a sigh of relief. "Phew, dodged that one."
If it's just a hookup thing, it's even less. It's like a storm blew over.

It's just become so common, it's not really worth being shaken to your core by anymore.

I'm a part of a slightly older generation, so I can't help to imagine having a more visceral reaction to it. It is kind of scary that it doesn't seem to phase people anymore, though.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I'm a part of a slightly older generation, so I can't help to imagine having a more visceral reaction to it. It is kind of scary that it doesn't seem to phase people anymore, though.

I think its better because it means today's generation realize "I had sex with her but what she choses to do after me isn't my problem or a reflection on me (usually)". Not giving a shit that she is now a he is better for you in the long run mentally.

Only hardcore sjws think that it means you fucked someone of the same gender. If it was before she changes, then it ain't gay bro even if she says it is. Remember more women feel safer alone with her than with a strange male even if they say she's a man.

 

[NoSpiceLife]

A thought struck me recently. Does anyone have any old records of suicide rates among transgendered people before the 2010s when it seemed to really become a fad or an ultra low effort at changing themselves? I can't help but think that the 41% thing only recently came to be as more and more people came into this sort of thing in the 2010s

If no one else has answered yet, I'm sure I can find them if I don't have them already, can't remember off the top of my head, I've amassed so much information over the years, it's everywhere.

They're always invariably MtF, never anything else.

There are plenty of FtM out there, you just don't see them, as they don't tend to be narcissistic arseholes with look at me complexes, which MtF, especially AGPs are.

"Evidence suggests that the prevalence has increased over the last decades to up to 5–14 male-to-female transgender (MtF) individuals per 1000 adult males and 2–3 female-to-male transgender (FtM) individuals per 1000 adult females." (link)
MTF's are 0.014% where as FTM are 0.003% of the population I'm sure the % has grown since this study in 2017.
But the point is that, men are much more likely to transition than women hence they make up a high %

to get even more into the scientific explanation
TL DR they blame it on X-chromosome's since men have more they are more likely to be trans

Be very wary of anything published recently, especially within the past 5 years, everything has been warped beyond recognition, academics aren't even allowed to do any research or studies, unless it's directly stating that trans = oppressed/trans = reality.

This one taught me that the female side of things seems to be more passive, more soul-searching, more confused and looking for a place and abused and led astray by someone else.......a mind which would refuse to sit idle and just relax had worked itself up into a frenzy, obsessing over the endless categorization and analysis of its every little quality...

Yeah, it's called autism, which they are finding majority? (well moreso than not) of FtMs also are.

 

[RembrandtCourage]

If no one else has answered yet, I'm sure I can find them if I don't have them already, can't remember off the top of my head, I've amassed so much information over the years, it's everywhere.

I don't believe anyone has so feel free and thanks!

 

[DoorPost101]

I don't know about losing people, but I swear, there are two types of trans people I've met - two and only two.


There was an online friend I had whom I talked to almost every day for 16 years. She was in her late 40's and it took over a decade before I found out she was trans - MtF - (and only because my shitty ex was transitioning and she was absolutely horrified at the way he was acting). I say "she" because as she put it, "I fought those battles and they are long over. It does not define me."

I feel like I can respect that. She absolutely does not appropriate the language of cis women's bodies and experiences, and is outraged and baffled by the current trends that exclaim penises are female and men can have periods. She's sane, rational, and understands that her experience as a trans woman is different than a cis woman.

We don't speak much anymore, but when we do catch up, she's not posting memes or pictures related to trans-insanity. She's posting pictures of the beautiful buildings and sculptures she sees while she's travelling, and sharing amazing music from various countries. Her gender does not define her, nor does she blame her troubles on her gender or how the world sees her gender. She is a whole person with a fully realized sense of self.

And then there's troon-ex (also MtF), who is at best, a fragmented human being who is a complete failure to launch. He began his gender-questioning during the relationship, but thank GOD waited to fully troon out till after we broke up. He is everything that we complain/rage about troons being here. It's difficult to get into his bullshit without A-logging and/or powerleveling, so I'll say that as he transitioned, he became one of THOSE transgender people, and has only gotten more disconnected from reality with each passing year. He has no personality without his gender, without his disabilities that somehow only sprang up once he figured out he wasn't getting enough attention with just the transition, and regularly appropriates cis women's experiences. (Claims to have a period, developed a fursona out of nowhere, and has now added he's a "plural system", to start with).

The disparity between these two people is staggering to me, and I can't quite figure out if it's a generational difference or if my online friend is an amazing anomaly within transgender people. I move in very liberal circles, so I'm always extremely nervous to even broach this subject with my friends. I worry they will write off years of friendship because I'm a TERF. I worry they will thinkit's just bitterness about my ex instead of me having issues with transgenderism in current year as a whole. (The ex just peak-transed me - the rest is pure concern, exasperation, and anger about transgender ideology.)

I'm grateful for Kiwi Farms. It genuinely is the only place I can talk about the negative feelings and awfulness that has come with transgender people over the last decade.

 

[Odnovo]

The disparity between these two people is staggering to me, and I can't quite figure out if it's a generational difference or if my online friend is an amazing anomaly within transgender people. I move in very liberal circles, so I'm always extremely nervous to even broach this subject with my friends. I worry they will write off years of friendship because I'm a TERF. I worry they will thinkit's just bitterness about my ex instead of me having issues with transgenderism in current year as a whole. (The ex just peak-transed me - the rest is pure concern, exasperation, and anger about transgender ideology.)

I think that it is a little bit of both. Also, if someone is going to unfriend you for simply having an opinion that is different from the "official narrative", then they probably aren't true friends. An actual friend would try to understand as to why you would have your own opinions and feelings on the matter, instead of just either shunning or humiliating you for them.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I'm grateful for Kiwi Farms. It genuinely is the only place I can talk about the negative feelings and awfulness that has come with transgender people over the last decade

Same.

I'm glad your long distance friend is living her best life. Shame your ex is fucking insane, but definitely echoing you on being glad he trooned out after rather than during. He'd probably say you broke up because you couldn't accept his identity.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

My once lesbian friend took to Facebook this week to talk about being a "trans fag" because she's a gay man now. Sigh. I hate this world.

Every fucking month another person I know comes out as trans. It gives me so much anxiety. Like, everyone I know will transition at some point, so I guess I just shouldn't try to get too close to anybody.

And I know this is hypocritical because I used to identify as trans... But God damn, how can nobody I know see how fucked this whole thing is?

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe there is still hope though, you woke up from it. Is there a thing that made you realise transitioning was a bad idea that you could maybe tell/show her?

if it's a generational difference

For a large part, I believe so. Trans people that transitioned years and years ago did so in a society that thought that there was something wrong with them mentally or physically or both, that could be mediated by living as the other sex. There was an understanding by everyone, including the trans people themselves, that this did not make them the other sex, but that it let them live more comfortably, and that was the goal. Transition was the means to an end, and these people usually wanted a 'normal' life.
All of that is out the window now, of course.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Transition was the means to an end, and these people usually wanted a 'normal' life.
All of that is out the window now, of course.

Had more people just wanted a normal life we really wouldn't have so many people complaining on this thread. Those who sell transitioning to others (not companies but people) as a mental illness pancea, those who troon for attention, those who do it for a fetish... its ruining those who want to be normal fucking people, the small, SMALL amount there was in the first place.

 

[hambeerlyingnreed]

Long sad story about an old friend. Way back when, they were socially active and hung out with different people in different settings. Looked kinda femme, like an aging twink. Identified as gay or bi, but mostly went after dick.

Then started going by she. Grows out her hair but ends up looking way more masculine. Won't get it cut because long hair equals female?? Wears makeup but even after years, doesn't learn basic application techniques. Insists on wearing colours and shades that aren't flattering, since Red equals Woman's Lipstick Colour. Won't do contouring because that's a drag queen thing and not something cis women do, even though cis women totally do contour their face and drag queens look more femme because they recognize what face they have and work with it. Dresses in ill fitting pants because buying "womens" pants is more important than wearing properly fitted unisex pants. I don't want to sound rude, she can dress how she wants, but her style was not having the intended effect. She looked more feminine and generally attractive when she was living as a man and not taking hormones (I've since noticed this is common amongst MTF trans people)

Over time, she became more awkward socially even when just hanging out indoors with a few close friends. Began to always slunch over, physically looking out of place even with her own body. She called it disphoria and depression, using the same buzzwords back then I now see online from troons.

She got married to a post-op MTF nobody else in our social circles seemed to know. At the wedding, none of her other friends came, even though one of her oldest friends (mutual friend) lived right by the courthouse. Only two of her wife's friends came, so they could witness and sign the paperwork. It was a workday and so I didn't take it as the big red flag it shoud have been.

They both holed up in their apartment together, she never went out anymore and new wife didn't like friends coming by. She invited me to her and her wife's place for a "party" but it was all her wife's friends and was more subdued than an unplanned gettogether with a few friends.

She thinks when she finally gets The Surgery, she won't get called Sir at the coffee shop anymore, even though they will look exactly the same since nobody is looking down their pants at Starbucks. Afterwards she goes into an even deeper depression when getting a vagina didn't solve everything.

Lost touch, but last I heard she hadnt worked for many years apart from a part time job for a while collecting tickets at a Theatre. So a basic position with minimal interaction with other people. At least it gets her out of the house I guess. Outside of this, she has no contact I'm aware of with bi wo/men, drag queens, goth scene, or anyone else she used to hang out around. Last time I ran into her, just down the street from her place, she froze up and had a crazy looking grin like she was trying to remember how to act like an actual human being When I asked what she had been up to lately, she said she was okay but didn't say anything else. I didn't want to potentially upset her, so I didn't question further. I've had more in depth conversations with random strangers at the dog park. Really sad.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

There was a girl who I knew since primary school who grew up to be a 10/10 by collage, who ended up trooning out because of reverse traps in some anime.

Wait, how the hell does that work?

Everytime there's a trap in an anime, they're deliberately crossdressing because they "like it" or like screwing with people.

Everytime there's a reverse trap (or, hell, an FtM) in an anime, it's because they have some character arc they need to go through in order to learn to appreciate the fact that they're women.

 

[Foghot]

My childhood friend who singlehandedly changed my life for the better became has been trooning out.

I won't powerlevel too much but let's just say that out of the chaotic mess that was my childhood, he was the first ever real friend I ever had back then. Absolute nerd with a borderline autistic fixation on whatever card game/series/anime he was into at the time, incredibly ballsy for a dried up shrimp, had crazy art skills at the age of 10, and to top it all off, had a pretty good home life too; his parents lived in the middle of nowhere but they didn't mind driving him a whopping 17 km to school 4 days per week.

Bar the nerdy part, he was the exact opposite of me. I was distrustful, poor, talentless and very prone to violence. But as years passed, somehow he taught me to stop being afraid of people, start acting a little more natural. I can't stress enough how this guy changed my life for the best (as much as I did for him, because holy shit the guy loved to poke the local school bullies).

So, fast forward a handful of years later, shenanigans happened and he graduated a year sooner than I did. Because I was being an ass.

By that point, I lost sight of him. I never got around to check up on how he was doing: I was still poor and never had a phone number to give, and I felt like I needed to truly work on myself. Another couple of years later, one special friend (that's leaning super trad) of ours from the circle Art Bro and I both made somehow found my phone number (I still don't have a clue how) and contacted me, he wanted to hang out and chat.

And so we did, and not long into our conversation, I asked how Art Bro was doing, and apparently he went to a very prestigious art school in Europe. And he would've been furious I referred to him as a dude.
Over the years, he had made friends with a group of degenerate socjus dangerhairs who more or less gave him carte blanche to give in to his spergy side. At one point Trad Bro felt forced to call out this bullshit. This, on top of Art Bro openly admitting he wanted to fuck him all along and getting politely turned down, led Art Bro to grow more and more distant from everybody except the soy posse.

By the time I reconnected with Trad Bro, Art Bro already was on HRT, his art studies were slowly falling apart, and he implied he was well on his way to try getting it chopped off despite his parents' disapproval. I tried contacting him through text and even tried calling but to this day I've never had a single answer. In fact, nobody who knew him does besides probably his family currently.

I sincerely hope he hasn't cut his dick off and hung himself yet. I don't want to see the man who gave me hope die like this.

I fucking hate this big pharma trend. The fact that there's already so many stories that are even worse than mine alarms me.

 

[Joe Swanson]

I have no idea, but it happened

 

[AMHOLIO]

I have no idea, but it happened

You might not be wrong, but put this post back where it came from even if you aren't:,(

 

[The Wizard]

I have two. One is a girl that I briefly dated, who trooned out a few months after we stopped going out. The other is a guy I still see on a regular basis.

I met the girl through online dating. She was cool enough, but despite being about 24 at the time, she was immature as hell. Finishing up an arts degree, and did not work, obviously. We eventually had a falling out for unrelated reasons, but we never removed each other from Discord. Maybe half a year goes by, and I see her pop up in our city's discord server, with the new tags "[he/him]." I just checked in, and it seems that she's been on HRT for a while now, and is constantly whining on one of the channels of the server. She had some SJW-ish tendencies when we dated, but its in full overdrive, now. From what I see, she moved back in with her parents (who she apparently hates), and refuses to work, except for art commissions.

The second is a guy I met in a tabletop group. More of an AGP, but still relevant. He usually only comes for D&D nights, but sometimes, he'll join Poker night if certain people (i.e., less bullshit-tolerating members) won't be there. When I met him, he was a PoliSci major, and actully seemed pretty cool, if a little weird. He could have some good conversations out of game, but his in-game choices were...odd. His character is a tall redhead elf lady who wears what I can only describe as a leather bodysuit. One time, he actually sought out a brothel and had his character get laid by some big half-elf. It was super awkward at the table, even though the GM did his best to "fade-to-black", before this guy could say any more. It was never super overt, but he did always have a slightly creepy undertone, while playing.

Some while ago, he tells us that he's now trans, and starts shaving his legs (he proudly told us this within a minute of coming out). His personality remains much the same, until he started HRT. Since we are more or less his only RL friends, he'd always tell us of these things, whether we wanted to know or not. After starting titty skittles, he weirdly became more on-the-edge, and easier to anger. Its weird, since you'd think estrogen (and presumably anti-androgens) would have the opposite effect, but nope. In-game, he'll have heated arguments with NPCs, and even almost got my character killed on multiple occasions, because he has a loose trigger on AoE spells.

Though we used to have some interesting gaming discussions, I eventually stopped DMing him, since he'd invariably turn the topics to things like universal basic income and getting back at his "transphobic grandpa by buying leggings with visa gift cards he sent." During the capitol riots, I woke up to 45 messages from him, bitching about white supremacy and how Trump would try to hire assassins to get Biden. That was when I told him enough was enough, and to cut that shit out.

Trannies, man...Its sad.

I yearn for the day when they can get actual psychological help for their problems, and not just an immediate perscription for HRT.

 

[AMHOLIO]

From what I see, she moved back in with her parents (who she apparently hates), and refuses to work, except for art commissions.

She really is quite self defeating. This one sentence says so much about her in so little space.

we are more or less his only RL friends, he'd always tell us of these things, whether we wanted to know or not.

:autism:
For some reason, estrogen does fuck around with mood in some men. Wish I could know where to look for a why, but it does happen.

 

[Kane Lives]

:autism:
For some reason, estrogen does fuck around with mood in some men. Wish I could know where to look for a why, but it does happen.

You're pumping an otherwise non-existent hormone, into a body that runs more or less on the delicate balance of every hormones working together. Being mentally unbalanced sounds like the least worst thing to happen. The physical effects of such treatment long term remains to be seen.