Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

I wonder where he is? That's a living room and it doesn't look like a shelter, it looks like a crack house. Will THE Wern be pressured into trying meth in exchange of "yea man we'll help you find a young girlfriend!!! But you must try this first so we know you're cool."?

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Well, if he keeps "Sith" in there, he's going to get bitchslapped so hard by Disney's lawyers so hard he'll forget what year it is.

At the end of the sofa on the left, is that a leg? Jacket sleeve?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I'd say he's around other people. He always gets very into his autistic workbook writing when he's around other people, especially women. He wants to look very busy and very intelligent, and he wants something to focus on, to hide with shyness.

So instead of looking like he can't talk to anyone, he looks like he's very busy and very important. He does this both verbally, (as in very jargony-heavy talks to himself) and with a lot of nonsense writing.

 

[teleméres69]

The famous 'hi ,you look good' pickup lines Lucas has bragged about for so long. I like that she just ignores him after he creepily tries hitting on her. Guess we know what happens when he gets an opportunity; nothing

Ever wondered how THE Wern picks up his chicks? Here's exclusive content sent to the Spokane Girl Tuesday (along with like 999 other voice messages). The full thing will be featured in Weekly Wern 4.



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Women can appreciate honesty Lucas, but not this creepy bullshit. This is why you're alone in your 40s

Happy Birthday Lucas
Shit like this is why women hate you.

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I always saw him as just an average white guy if you removed the obesity and balding. If you got rid of a lot of this stuff he'd look like your cookie cutter middle aged white guy, which Lucas would hate and is probably why he actively tries to look as insane/abnormal as possible

I mean, IF he had a full head of hair and wasnt rapidly balding away in back, IF he dropped a tonne of weight, IF he got a flattering haircut, IF he worked out so that his horrific pasty unimoob disappeared, IF he learned to stop making crazy expressions and chimp fear grimaces, and IF he got an entire personality transplant and fixed his unfixable brain...

I’d put him at average. Decently, solidly average, but average. The kind of guy I might date IF he had something super interesting about him, like some really creative passion. But there’s no way in hell he’d be “above average” in looks in the eyes of any woman, not just me. Not unless the local average was some seriously busted-looking dudes. But for his age, yeah, decent.

anyway who cares about that when I can SMASH MY GASH TO THE EGGS, whatever the hell that means.

As for his voicemail, didn’t he state a while back that his new amazing never-fail pickup tactic was to say, “Hi, I like your______” and fill in his choice of “clothes/hair/makeup?”

It’s funny how Lucas comes up with these arbitrary new pickup tactics and the moment he adopts them, swears they never fail.

Kinda disappointing nobody trolls Lucas this way. That and that nobody has ever managed to record footage of Lucas putting up these signs. It's kinda like seeing an animal hunting in a documentary, except in this case the animal is scaring off prey on purpose

Like Lucas leaves his "attraction signs" taped to poles downtown Spokane, someone should copy his psycho predator posts and tape them up all over the bus plaza, downtown, etc. with a big red flag-- Beware the Predator Lucas Werner, extremely mentally unstable 41 yr old obsessed with impregnating a young woman under 24.

Nothing like spending your birthday in a junkie home. Lucas has mentioned multiple stories of his sexual experiences, or lack of experiences, have happened in such place. Wouldn't put it past him to go to one in the Hope's of raping a zoomer junkie

I wonder where he is? That's a living room and it doesn't look like a shelter, it looks like a crack house. Will THE Wern be pressured into trying meth in exchange of "yea man we'll help you find a young girlfriend!!! But you must try this first so we know you're cool."?View attachment 1753075

 

[Wernology]

Since it was Lucas' birthday, I put minimal effort beyond equalizing volume into the video.

When I say minimal, I mean I did some dragging and dropping of stock music onto a few parts. It would have been up earlier but, y'know, low priority in my life and I decided a nap was in order then slept way longer than intended because why the fuck would I set an alarm on a day off?

Anyway, @Goldaor told me to go ahead and use the stupid flirting clip from earlier in the thread, so that's in there along with screenshots of the language he "made up".

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Only if you've got nine other chicks I can swoop at the same time, like I'm some horrible Australian magpie defending a nest.

Wow your really gonna be a greed monger like that? Obviously we should have orgies in the communist Bernie Sanders approved way and you should yeet some gash comrade

 

[WonderWino]

I think there's a good chance of him ending up like Bulla, finally committing some crime that can't be ignored, and ends up getting put away for good, or at least for a while.

I can't be the only one who read that and pictured lucas wandering the streets of spokane with a boxcutter on a string around his neck, living in a box in an alley surrounded by teen vogue magazines with zoomer baes on them covered in bizarre writings and lucas's pickup line becoming 'Hi. I love generation z ovulators (sexually) would you like to go to clinkerdagger for a $70 steak?'

and yeah, that ending for lucas is starting to look more and more likely

Happy Birthday Lucas
Shit like this is why women hate you.

.....That is a good way to get pepper sprayed, get a pistol pulled on you and get a zoomer to call the cops on the spot. Even by creeper standards thats a fucked up thing to say. He couldn't sound more like a future rapist if he tried

I wonder where he is? That's a living room and it doesn't look like a shelter, it looks like a crack house. Will THE Wern be pressured into trying meth in exchange of "yea man we'll help you find a young girlfriend!!! But you must try this first so we know you're cool

Well now, that 'kritteran' term he wrote there didn't sound like something lucas came up with himself so I put it into google and what results did I get?

this: https://vsco.co/kritteran/gallery

and this: https://www.pinterest.ca/kritteran/

Little blonde girls that look barely legal and suspiciously like his niece. Gee I wonder how he came up with that term. It totally couldn't be something he came across while doing creepy google searches for his particular type of woman at all.

Well, if he keeps "Sith" in there, he's going to get bitchslapped so hard by Disney's lawyers so hard he'll forget what year it is.

Indeed. Disney does not fuck around when people try to sell anything with something they own in it. Hell they sued a childrens hospital for having an 'unauthorized' painting of mickey mouse on the wall a few years back. No fucking way they would let lucas get away with having sith in his crackpot game

 

[naught sock account 1]

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Says the guy that hasn't got laid in almost a decade.

he certainly has a way with words...

Since it was Lucas' birthday, I put minimal effort beyond equalizing volume into the video.

When I say minimal, I mean I did some dragging and dropping of stock music onto a few parts. It would have been up earlier but, y'know, low priority in my life and I decided a nap was in order then slept way longer than intended because why the fuck would I set an alarm on a day off?

Anyway, @Goldaor told me to go ahead and use the stupid flirting clip from earlier in the thread, so that's in there along with screenshots of the language he "made up".

splendid...

 

[Club Sandwich]

Charles Atlas "Dynamic tension" Fitness

Charles Atlas' "Dynamic Tension" workout and kit was basically bow-flex before bowflex and relied on a combination of kinesthetics, calisthentics and resistence training to target muscle groups to get a toned, modestly chiseled appearance with weight lifting. a lot of heavy-weight boxers use aspects of this even today. part of the program included eating right (Atlas Nutrition) and Perpetual Upkeep which taught how to maintain the physique.

I like that lucas never has any follow up to his seduction strategy of saying, "Hi, Im Lucas, hows it going." He's 41 years old and thinks he is entitled to girls half his age yet he still cant think of anything more to say then that

One thing that has bugged me is that he's very nebulous about "what comes after" the meeting the zoomer bae, the sex, the pregnancy and birth. he doesn't (at least very well) elaborate on gaining and keeping employment to support a family and taking steps to raise a child, or speak about plans to gain and maintain generational wealth to pass down to a grown child and secure a legacy.

he's used some broad strokes here and there, and basically said he doesn't want to work, or only work on his terms which is stupidly outlandish pay for basically doing nothing. we get that he's likely to just try and get the woman to do all the work like some lazy sod with a dog at beck and call, but has he actually said as much?

 

[Free the Pedos]

Charles Atlas' "Dynamic Tension" workout and kit was basically bow-flex before bowflex and relied on a combination of kinesthetics, calisthentics and resistence training to target muscle groups to get a toned, modestly chiseled appearance with weight lifting. a lot of heavy-weight boxers use aspects of this even today. part of the program included eating right (Atlas Nutrition) and Perpetual Upkeep which taught how to maintain the physique.

One thing that has bugged me is that he's very nebulous about "what comes after" the meeting the zoomer bae, the sex, the pregnancy and birth. he doesn't (at least very well) elaborate on gaining and keeping employment to support a family and taking steps to raise a child, or speak about plans to gain and maintain generational wealth to pass down to a grown child and secure a legacy.

he's used some broad strokes here and there, and basically said he doesn't want to work, or only work on his terms which is stupidly outlandish pay for basically doing nothing. we get that he's likely to just try and get the woman to do all the work like some lazy sod with a dog at beck and call, but has he actually said as much?

He’s said he wants to be a house husband “like he was with Suzanne”, and that “babies are easy.” (There might be something out there about how Suzanne used to get pissed at him for not actually cleaning, but I’m not sure where.)

 

[Blonde Bomb]

Happy Birthday Lucas
Shit like this is why women hate you.

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Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but isn't gash slang for vagina? So...smash your vagina to the egg...that makes no sense. But it's Lucas, so I don't expect logic. I just find it humorous.

 

[Wernology]

Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but isn't gash slang for vagina? So...smash your vagina to the egg...that makes no sense. But it's Lucas, so I don't expect logic. I just find it humorous.

It wouldn't surprise me if he thought vaginas were just packed full of eggs.

I mean, the guy thinks the human uterus is "dripping" with progesterone and somehow "juicy" so it's pretty clear why he flunked remedial bio at the community college.

Christ, he probably thinks cervix punching is erotic too, not that he's anywhere near long enough to get close to hitting it. Hell, he's not long enough to get inside a vagina to begin with, especially not at 300+ pounds. The damned thing is a nub to begin with but a nub hiding under a big ol' fupa? Nobody's going to find it under all that, even he probably has trouble finding it now.

 

[Goldaor]

Offline for 15hrs and last seen in some sort of crackhouse. (According to my Spokane homeless friend it doesn't look like any homeless shelter there) it's 10AM in Spokane right now. I feel like he's not coming back anytime soon. Hopefully never?

 

[Da Dude123]

Offline for 15hrs and last seen in some sort of crackhouse. (According to my Spokane homeless friend it doesn't look like any homeless shelter there) it's 10AM in Spokane right now. I feel like he's not coming back anytime soon. Hopefully never?

He very well may have either lost his phone in a drunken stupor or someone stole it. Lucas has issues with keeping phones. If that is the case it's approaching the first of the month and fat ass gets his tard bucks for being a tard. So, he could go buy another, if that is the case.

Edit:. Fatty is mooing on Facebook

 

[mothman96]

Offline for 15hrs and last seen in some sort of crackhouse. (According to my Spokane homeless friend it doesn't look like any homeless shelter there) it's 10AM in Spokane right now. I feel like he's not coming back anytime soon. Hopefully never?

Since it looks like he found a place to stay it's likely he slept in all morning.

ETA:
@Goldaor , you have friends in Spokane, why not ask them to check around, see if they hear anything via the grapevine as to where/with who the Freak may be rooming with.

 

[WonderWino]

Since it looks like he found a place to stay it's likely he slept in all morning.

ETA:
@Goldaor , you have friends in Spokane, why not ask them to check around, see if they hear anything via the grapevine as to where/with who the Freak may be rooming with.

I suspect lucas will spill the beans about the details on his own before too long. That said if hes skulking around crackhouses and similarly shitty areas he won't stay very long. He'll piss someone off before too long. Nobody will want anything to do with him as soon as he starts constantly ranting, especially once the money dries up for the month

and I tend to believe the statement that its likely a crackhouse. Lucas has no friends and nobody that does know him would want him living with them, nor would they refer lucas to someone they know for the same reasons. That and nobody in their right mind would rent to him. So that leaves some skeevy hobo den or crackhouse that he found out about. I don't see him lasting long in such a place before he gets his ass thrown out or there is some kind of incident

 

[mothman96]

I suspect lucas will spill the beans about the details on his own before too long. That said if hes skulking around crackhouses and similarly shitty areas he won't stay very long. He'll piss someone off before too long. Nobody will want anything to do with him as soon as he starts constantly ranting, especially once the money dries up for the month

and I tend to believe the statement that its likely a crackhouse. Lucas has no friends and nobody that does know him would want him living with them, nor would they refer lucas to someone they know for the same reasons. That and nobody in their right mind would rent to him. So that leaves some skeevy hobo den or crackhouse that he found out about. I don't see him lasting long in such a place before he gets his ass thrown out or there is some kind of incident

This time he may want to keep it to himself. In a facebook comment he was asked if he was at a friends house. I was waiting to see his response, just checked, he deleted the comment.

 

[ThomasAudley]

I've been wrong in my predictions before but I can see him hanging out in a crack house, witnessing or hallucninating sexual escapades, demanding someone put some pussy on his dick, getting his ass royally beat, and then coming to IG to post endless vids about how he got in a fight with 5 flat bill juggalos over some chick and he again was the victim of physical violence on behalf of gen z.

 

[WonderWino]

This time he may want to keep it to himself. In a facebook comment he was asked if he was at a friends house. I was waiting to see his response, just checked, he deleted the comment.

He should but he won't. Not for very long. He doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut, even when its in his best interests to do so

The fact he not only avoided the question but went out of his way to delete it strongly implies the crackhouse claim is accurate. He doesn't realize how questionable that makes his living arrangement. Whats that saying, people who hide something have something to hide - and this when hes literally under a an order that prohibits alcohol and drugs and is fresh out of the mental hospital. This will totally end well for him i'm sure...especially if hes delusional enough to think they all have zoomer baes and tries a repeat of his blackmail attempt to get one of his own from them

Lucas had better be very careful. Spazzing out the way he does won't be tolerated in such places for very long and is liable to cause some crackhead or tweaker to go off at him for it, and those idiots aren't the kind to think twice about getting violent over minor shit. Its not like he can just waddle away or do his usual threatening to call the cops for pissing him off. If he did that he'd get himself killed

That said, a crackhead lucas saga would be quite entertaining i'm sure. Doubly so if he got busted with crack on him or for wandering the streets wigging out on crack screaming into his phone about wanting a teen zoomer bae

As several others have pointed out already, he is clearly becoming less cautious and inhibited about his actions in recent months, and engaging in riskier behavior that he used to make an effort to avoid, if only to avoid incriminating himself or putting himself in a bad situation. Its becoming clear his mental health has been taking a nosedive

 

[mothman96]

I googled crack house. From the pictures that came up, the living room in the Freak's pictures doesn't quite match up. Could it be possible he got a room via craigslist and the person(s) he's renting from just don't know a he's a deranged predator.

 

[ThomasAudley]

I googled crack house. From the pictures that came up, the living room in the Freak's pictures doesn't quite match up. Could it be possible he got a room via craigslist and the person(s) he's renting from just don't know a he's a deranged predator.

To test this theory I texted the CL number he provided and it appears he has not found a living situation off CL yet. Either that or he's fucking with me like I am with him.