Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[themotherflippin480]

Imagine sitting at a fancy restaurant with Lucas' wide open mouth chewing like a horse while ranting to you about his jizz. I don't think dine n' dashing is even worth it, zoomer baes.

Also, we've seen Lucas spends all his EBT money on junk food and candy like he's an 11 year old allowed to buy his own groceries

Dont be silly, even 11 year olds would buy pizza. At least it has a little bit of sustenance

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

I'm still in awe, entirely in awe, of the fact that Lucas could polish off a whole pizza, and then immediately go eat a steak dinner with multiple sides.

I mean, has he never experienced the "your eyes are bigger than your stomach"?

Lucas has some pretty big f****** eyes, but I guess his disgusting gut Is yet Bigger?

He's never ordered more food than he can finish? The idea of eating two giant greasy meals back-to-back, being able to finish all that food, and somehow thinking that that's going to impress women?

There's a lot of crazy things about Lucas in the way he thinks, but this is one of the top IMHO.

maybe he's got an intestinal tapeworm, wouldn't be surprising given his general lack of hygiene

 

[WonderWino]

No doubt, I thought the same thing.
Lucas has the weird food combinations of the stereotypical pregnant woman, combined with the gluttonous fast food habits of the trashiest of Americans, combined with his apparent inability to ever feel full. And to all of that he adds his own disgusting trashiness, drowning everything in ranch dressing, covering everything in cheap cheese, he's vile.

I'm still in awe, entirely in awe, of the fact that Lucas could polish off a whole pizza, and then immediately go eat a steak dinner with multiple sides.

I mean, has he never experienced the "your eyes are bigger than your stomach"?

Lucas has some pretty big f****** eyes, but I guess his disgusting gut Is yet Bigger?

He's never ordered more food than he can finish? The idea of eating two giant greasy meals back-to-back, being able to finish all that food, and somehow thinking that that's going to impress women?

There's a lot of crazy things about Lucas in the way he thinks, but this is one of the top IMHO.

The weird food combinations are also something autistics frequently do. and we know he has admitted that at least one doctor saw enough red flags for it in him that he wanted to test lucas, who refused cause he thought it would cause more problems for him and be yet another strike against him. So clearly lucas suspected it as well. That aside, while lucas is clearly a glutton, I wouldn't be surprised to find out there was some kind of hormonal issue going on with his broke brain to cause issues for him feeling full. It would explain alot about how the gorging on food started, not to mention it could also explain why he isn't losing weight despite being a hobo and living off far less food than he was when he had his own place. If theres a thyroid issue involved, it would also explain the schizo bug eyes as well

 

[Fatal Walter]

I'd like to remind everyone of this post.

 

[IceQueen]

The weird food combinations are also something autistics frequently do. and we know he has admitted that at least one doctor saw enough red flags for it in him that he wanted to test lucas, who refused cause he thought it would cause more problems for him and be yet another strike against him. So clearly lucas suspected it as well. That aside, while lucas is clearly a glutton, I wouldn't be surprised to find out there was some kind of hormonal issue going on with his broke brain to cause issues for him feeling full. It would explain alot about how the gorging on food started, not to mention it could also explain why he isn't losing weight despite being a hobo and living off far less food than he was when he had his own place. If theres a thyroid issue involved, it would also explain the schizo bug eyes as well

You know, I didn’t used to think that the autism theory held much water with Lucas, but these days I feel like it could. The more I hear about his as a child and a youth, even from lucas himself, about how he didn’t know simple things like saying “later” to people and had to physically be taught stuff like that, how he was an outcast from a really young age, etc. all make me feel like ASD IS one of the mental disorders on his never ending list.

I'd like to remind everyone of this post.
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The amount of times he’s gone back and forth between “I can use that word whenever I want and YOU’RE the racist if you say I can’t” and “no one should say the n word especially not white people that’s so racist” is mind boggling. Sure everyone can have a change of heart on things, but to swing back and forth between such huge extremes so many times is crazy.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Autists like myself vary with these things. I'm the complete opposite of Lucas in that mixing foods together and especially open mouth chewing makes me REEEEE.

I doubt Lucas has autism, though. True and honest autists may sperg out at times, but I don't think any would try to blackmail their neighbors to share the 10 zoomer baes they must be all fucking. Or have the subzero inhibition to do the Starbucks note. Or sing about their sperm in public places.

 

[Wernology]

I'd like to remind everyone of this post.
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He's so frustratingly close to being self aware sometimes that it's easy to occasionally almost take him at face value when he tries to push the, "I'm a stand up comic, you just don't get my humor!" angle.

 

[wenttobermuda]

No doubt, I thought the same thing.
Lucas has the weird food combinations of the stereotypical pregnant woman, combined with the gluttonous fast food habits of the trashiest of Americans, combined with his apparent inability to ever feel full. And to all of that he adds his own disgusting trashiness, drowning everything in ranch dressing, covering everything in cheap cheese, he's vile.

I'm still in awe, entirely in awe, of the fact that Lucas could polish off a whole pizza, and then immediately go eat a steak dinner with multiple sides.

I mean, has he never experienced the "your eyes are bigger than your stomach"?

Lucas has some pretty big f****** eyes, but I guess his disgusting gut Is yet Bigger?

He's never ordered more food than he can finish? The idea of eating two giant greasy meals back-to-back, being able to finish all that food, and somehow thinking that that's going to impress women?

There's a lot of crazy things about Lucas in the way he thinks, but this is one of the top IMHO.

Whether it's a symptom of BPD, mere gluttony, or addict behavior, the reward center of Lucas's brain is fucked up. It shows in his eating habits. Lucas seemingly uses food to self soothe and regulate his moods. Given his great butt hurt, and volatile temper, that can take a lot of food.

I won't watch him eat. There's something indecent about it.

His over eating isn't that interesting in itself, but you're right: the way he advertises it is bizarre. He enjoys it, boasts about it, expects people to be impressed by it. It's as if Lucas likes eating two large meals back to back so much, it never occurs to him that others might find it weird or excessive. Odd, but only one odd thing he has going on.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

maybe he's got an intestinal tapeworm, wouldn't be surprising given his general lack of hygiene

Lucas would have to consume ungodly amounts of food to keep his current weight if that were the case.

Its one thing to eat enough to maintain weight in the case of a tapeworm, but to lug around the belly baggage Lucas has would require near-constant calorie consumption.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I'd like to remind everyone of this post.
View attachment 1793550

Has Lucas been spamming the gamer word on Facebook again?

 

[VoidFace]

His over eating isn't that interesting in itself, but you're right: the way he advertises it is bizarre. He enjoys it, boasts about it, expects people to be impressed by it. It's as if Lucas likes eating two large meals back to back so much, it never occurs to him that others might find it weird or excessive. Odd, but only one odd thing he has going on.

Is it possible Lucas thinks it’s impressive because it somehow links back to this delusion that he is royalty? I could 100% see Lucas thinking that overeating is somehow a sign of wealth, like it might have been a few hundred years ago.

In fact, now that I type it, I am fully convinced when Lucas thinks of himself he just pastes his face over a portrait of Henry VIII

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Whether it's a symptom of BPD, mere gluttony, or addict behavior, the reward center of Lucas's brain is fucked up. It shows in his eating habits. Lucas seemingly uses food to self soothe and regulate his moods. Given his great butt hurt, and volatile temper, that can take a lot of food.

I won't watch him eat. There's something indecent about it.

His over eating isn't that interesting in itself, but you're right: the way he advertises it is bizarre. He enjoys it, boasts about it, expects people to be impressed by it. It's as if Lucas likes eating two large meals back to back so much, it never occurs to him that others might find it weird or excessive. Odd, but only one odd thing he has going on.

Couldn’t agree more on watching Wern eat. I don’t know what it is but the revulsion I feel when I see him eating hits me on a level beyond just being disgusted by his bad manners. It’s beyond bad manners. It’s at an animalistic level. Like a starving animal finds a dead carcass and greedily gorges it while signaling he will attack anyone who might separate him from his find, so you have to look away out of fear of being attacked.

This is what makes the idea of a zoom bae sitting across from him on “the big date“ at Clinkerdagger as he tears into his $60 steak like a rabid dog even more funny. He smacks his lips, chews with his mouth open, and talks with food in his mouth all at once as she tries to signal a waiter to distract him long enough to escape.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Just had a thought.

Someone who is in touch with Lucas should let him know about those cameo websites where you pay people to do quick vids for your products/projects or just for amusement. Most are for... I don’t know... actual celebrities, but sites like Fiverr would let Wern on and would undoubtedly lead to some hilarity.

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

King Lucas the Lard

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Just had a thought.

Someone who is in touch with Lucas should let him know about those cameo websites where you pay people to do quick vids for your products/projects or just for amusement. Most are for... I don’t know... actual celebrities, but sites like Fiverr would let Wern on and would undoubtedly lead to some hilarity.

Goldie told him about it, in regards to the Chris Hansen vid.

Not that Lucas listened.

Or understood.

 

[Goldaor]

Just had a thought.

Someone who is in touch with Lucas should let him know about those cameo websites where you pay people to do quick vids for your products/projects or just for amusement. Most are for... I don’t know... actual celebrities, but sites like Fiverr would let Wern on and would undoubtedly lead to some hilarity.

He would reply: "Not until I'm no longer single"

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

I kind of wish he was successful in getting a zoomer girlfriend just to see his reaction when he realizes that his life didn't magically become everything he always dreamed it would be over night, that even after he achieved his impossible goal his life is still a flaming pile of shit.

And then the legendary chimp out when she dumps his ass before he gets to make little wernlings.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Is it possible Lucas thinks it’s impressive because it somehow links back to this delusion that he is royalty?

Do you mean in the ”I'm the king of the jungle” way or in the way that CWC claimed to be descended from Anne Boleyn?

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I kind of wish he was successful in getting a zoomer girlfriend just to see his reaction when he realizes that his life didn't magically become everything he always dreamed it would be over night, that even after he achieved his impossible goal his life is still a flaming pile of shit.

And then the legendary chimp out when she dumps his ass before he gets to make little wernlings.

You mean after achieving the goal of getting a woman 20 years younger than him to be his mother that he can also fuck and who will carry all the financial burden so he can sit on his ass while pretending to do things around the house while also having his kids and taking sole responsibility for them won’t magically transform his life?

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I kind of wish he was successful in getting a zoomer girlfriend just to see his reaction when he realizes that his life didn't magically become everything he always dreamed it would be over night, that even after he achieved his impossible goal his life is still a flaming pile of shit.

And then the legendary chimp out when she dumps his ass before he gets to make little wernlings.

Indeed, I know those feels. Imagine if Lacie would have gone through with being Lucas' girlfriend... wew smokies, his paranoia and rants about Gen Z would be 100x worse.