Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh someone bought him KFC and Motel 6 tonight. Can you guys fucking stop.

ETA: "Apparently I have a white supremacist friend who hooked me up with some chow mein last night." What a sentence.

ETA2: "They're like these feminazi alt-right uppity liberals out there." Ok it's officially word salad. This is the most manic shit I dun ever seen
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Lunacy
Reactions: burntgrilledcheese, XxxwernxxX, cuddle striker and 12 others
Fiveseven15 said:
he has always thought ALL gorillas become silverbacks, that it just happens with age. he has had it explained to him thats for the alpha of the group. the protector, provider of the whole troop (do gorillas use troop?) lucas holds on to the idea theyre just old so he doesnt have to admit he brings absolutely nothin positive to any relationship
Click to expand...
Its a bit of both.
Basically, in the gorilla world a male rarely lives to that advanced age without either taking on the silverback role (usually by killing the last guy) or basically becoming the lacky/beta/enforcer of the silverback who gets second pick at feeding/breeding time (but also runs the risk of being killed by the next guy's lackies) and/or biding your time to become the next silverback. Its a very cut-throat system.

Lucas would fundamentally fail as a gorilla (or chimp, or any non-domestic species tbf). He cannot secure resources for even himself (note that male gorillas CAN live on their own, they just get benefits of protection & mates from joining groups), much less a group. With the exception of spergouts against the occasional shelter rent-a-cop, Lucas is quite terrified of other males. Lucas is not smart enough to know how to avoid predators/competition, any group Lucas lead would get ransacked by leopards and rival troops.

The only ape-like quality Lucas has going for him is that great ape dicks (gorilla, orangutan, chimp/bono) are actually much smaller than human dicks (despite humans being considered the neotenic/paedomorphic/"baby-forme" species), so Lucas's tiny pecker wouldn't be as embarrassing if he were a wild ape.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: burntgrilledcheese, Quiet Dignity, saltwatertaffy and 9 others
denysdemontfort said:
Uploading this for y'all before I even watch it -- but looks like someone got him a Motel 6 room so I'm sure he'll be peak annoying "happy" rambling Lucas.

View attachment 1809118
Click to expand...
So the guy who enables Predators (payed for the motel 6 room and KFC meal) is Nathan Hayskins (sp). Is that name familiar to anyone?.
Birds of a feather stick together.
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Granola Grenadine, Quiet Dignity, AbraCadaver and 10 others
denysdemontfort said:
Uploading this for y'all before I even watch it -- but looks like someone got him a Motel 6 room so I'm sure he'll be peak annoying "happy" rambling Lucas.

View attachment 1809118
Click to expand...
"Alt-Right Feminazi Uppity-Liberal Trumptists"

No Lucas, I think that's because people of all sides of the spectrum agree that you fucking suck.
 
  • Like
Reactions: burntgrilledcheese, Free the Pedos, Cheesegirl78 and 8 others
I see Lukies tourettes has kicked in again.

I said on the onision thread earlier, grug is a fetid stew of some of the worst cows on here...he's as big of a despo as Lucas, and as much of a broken record. The pair of them tic out the same shit constantly.

Gurg is just marginally more verbose than this sack of shit.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Free the Pedos, teleméres69, Iseecovidpeople and 2 others
He's definitely stalking my channel, he commented within 5 minutes.

Anyway:

DISCLAIMER on this video: @Jeremiah the Bullfrog & @Goldaor had nothing to do with catfishing Lucas to LA.

This call was made by Jeremiah AFTER Lucas was already at the Ritz.

Neither Jeremiah, Goldaor, or I had anything to do with catfishing Lucas to Los Angeles or with getting him a bus ticket back to Spokane. Lucas & SOFALAW got it wrong. I have no idea who the catfish was.

You may recognize Jeremiah from the final Golden USB Podcast episode as the guest who interviewed Lucas. If you haven't listened to it, you absolutely should, it's hilarious both because it's over an hour of Lucas constantly raging and because Jeremiah has a very distinct voice and it's amazing that Lucas didn't immediately recognize it: https://youtu.be/8TKCPbPCH9E

There is a shorter call as well, but we’ll let Lucas stew and panic for awhile. Gotta leave him something for Christmas morning! 💋


This is TCAP level hilarity, especially to see how submissive he gets and how FAST--then goes into panicked screaming about how his parents are bounty hunters and friends with cops and how "Mia's dad" is going to be arrested and go to jail for being a bigot.

 
  • Winner
  • Like
  • Semper Fidelis
Reactions: burntgrilledcheese, AbraCadaver, Kane Lives and 24 others
OH MY FUCKING GOD, @klickitat you brilliant son of bitch lol! I'm just 6 minutes into the video put out, the phone conversation where "Mia's Dad" berates him for being a pedo, it's fucking glorious. Lucas somehow sounds exactly like all the creepiest predator from TCAP combined and an ornery 7 year old caught drawing on the walls at the same time. I can't believe he didn't catch on and stayed on the phone after the first minute of "Mia's Dad" being like "my daughter is into fat hobos apparently"

So much fucking gold already:
  • "I know what 18 year olds look like.. and to me, (Mia) looked slightly older than 18"
  • "I went with it because ..it was legal"

And I can't believe the comments section on klick's YouTube channel responding to Lucas. So fucking funny like this one got me (after Lucas tried to insult her looks by calling her a Mrs Potato)
pedo.png


Thank you klickitat, for your valuable work as Wernology historian, this entertainment value is just too damn high. A very Merry Christmas to klickitat, and the rest of ya filthy animals
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: burntgrilledcheese, AbraCadaver, Kane Lives and 18 others
klickitat said:
He's definitely stalking my channel, he commented within 5 minutes.

Anyway:

DISCLAIMER on this video: @Jeremiah the Bullfrog & @Goldaor had nothing to do with catfishing Lucas to LA.

This call was made by Jeremiah AFTER Lucas was already at the Ritz.

Neither Jeremiah, Goldaor, or I had anything to do with catfishing Lucas to Los Angeles or with getting him a bus ticket back to Spokane. Lucas & SOFALAW got it wrong. I have no idea who the catfish was.

You may recognize Jeremiah from the final Golden USB Podcast episode as the guest who interviewed Lucas. If you haven't listened to it, you absolutely should, it's hilarious both because it's over an hour of Lucas constantly raging and because Jeremiah has a very distinct voice and it's amazing that Lucas didn't immediately recognize it: https://youtu.be/8TKCPbPCH9E

There is a shorter call as well, but we’ll let Lucas stew and panic for awhile. Gotta leave him something for Christmas morning! 💋


This is TCAP level hilarity, especially to see how submissive he gets and how FAST--then goes into panicked screaming about how his parents are bounty hunters and friends with cops and how "Mia's dad" is going to be arrested and go to jail for being a bigot.

Click to expand...
Is it still uploading? It says some bollix about my browser and won't play.
 
Been a LONGTIME lurker, what can I say, this guy's NUTS.

NGL, I'm a Sanders supporter, and I'm a socialist, but I don't claim Lucas. That man is on another level altogether, I've just been sitting here AMAZED at how stupid this guy is on so many levels, such as the Los Angeles deal I've been viewing. I really have to wonder what the hell he fucking thinks he can bring to the table for getting a woman.

Personally, I'd LOVE to see Mr. Sanders react to this dude trying to use him in his pursuits of getting that teen pussy. Like dude...

NGL, how did Lucas NOT end up in Compton via the catfish? I would've KILLED to have seen Lucas get fucked up in the hood for his n-word shit. (I'm a black man and trust me, I'd LOVE to see him get his ass handed to him as much as the next guy...).

For the record as I join you guys in watching the Wern, NO LEVEL HEADED Socialist claims him. Period. We don't associate with him, and we hate that he's trying to use that to get laid.

Lucas, you're gonna be reading this at some point, and as I said on Klickitat's video recently (I'm Thatkidwiththeafro on YT), you're a creep, it's not in the cards, and you're gonna die alone. Also, leave Bernie Sanders out of your pedo shit, creep.
 
  • Like
  • Dumb
  • TMI
Reactions: Insalubrious, Dr Naomi Hunter, Granola Grenadine and 23 others
Galaxy-Afro said:
NGL, I'm a Sanders supporter, and I'm a socialist, but I don't claim Lucas.
Click to expand...
Nobody here insuated Berniebros do. Its widely accepted that Lucas would use any ideology to justify his lifestyle and behavior, and that all sides of the spectrum agree Lucas is a worthless piece of shit.

You jumping in and doing this #notallberniebros shtick is kinda cringe, NGL

Galaxy-Afro said:
Lucas, you're gonna be reading this at some point, and as I said on Klickitat's video recently (I'm Thatkidwiththeafro on YT), you're a creep, it's not in the cards, and you're gonna die alone. Also, leave Bernie Sanders out of your pedo shit, creep.
Click to expand...
Lurk moar, dude.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Yellow Sink Disease, AbraCadaver, cuddle striker and 14 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back