Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[SteveGoatman]

We all know Lucas' explanation is BS (whether 100% or just most is up for debate) but my favorite part is that if we pretended his story of being mugged is true, it's exactly his dream scenario of "everything is free and if someone doesn't like it we'll use violence, or the threat of it, to take what we want"...so what's the problem? Why is Lucas being greedy with his possessions? Aren't they for everyone to share? Why should he have a phone and a wallet and some other bum doesn't?

 

[mothman96]

I'd say the Freak lost his phone on Mar 4th the day he got the 24 hr ban from Cannon. Early afternoon on the 4th by 3:30 pm he'd posted his last "memes" to his IG and his video to Youtube, went silent after that. If he had his phone he would have continued to post till he got "mugged by the guy with a knife" which "supposedly" happened after spending the ban at HOC and his return to Cannon.

 

[Da Dude123]

I'd say the Freak lost his phone on Mar 4th the day he got the 24 hr ban from Cannon. Early afternoon on the 4th by 3:30 pm he'd posted his last "memes" to his IG and his video to Youtube, went silent after that. If he had his phone he would have continued to post till he got "mugged by the guy with a knife" which "supposedly" happened after spending the ban at HOC and his return to Cannon.

Yeah, I wonder if he went on a drunken stupor after that and the phone and wallet ended up missing? But the one piece that is unclear is how did he get another phone? Did he waddle over to his payee's office and get some money released? I guess that is possible. He has to get permission to use the government dollars because he is exceptional.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

We all know Lucas' explanation is BS (whether 100% or just most is up for debate) but my favorite part is that if we pretended his story of being mugged is true, it's exactly his dream scenario of "everything is free and if someone doesn't like it we'll use violence, or the threat of it, to take what we want"...so what's the problem? Why is Lucas being greedy with his possessions? Aren't they for everyone to share? Why should he have a phone and a wallet and some other bum doesn't?

I could see him approaching strangers and trying to recruit them into his communist uprising against mcdonalds and they just rob him instead because they really like his ideas

 

[mothman96]

Yeah, I wonder if he went on a drunken stupor after that and the phone and wallet ended up missing? But the one piece that is unclear is how did he get another phone? Did he waddle over to his payee's office and get some money released? I guess that is possible. He has to get permission to use the government dollars because he is exceptional.

I was thinking he still had money he could spend from his March 1st SSI, but why did he wait and not get a new phone right away. "IF" he didn't have SSI spending money maybe his Stimulus came in.

 

[Shatterhand2049]

View attachment 2002788View attachment 2002789View attachment 2002790
Rotten lettuce is from when he argued with the author of a study he was quoting on Twitter. Here’s the relevant shots before he blocked the author.

The absolute state of this jackass. Just...WOW.

I actually love the hell out of this, though. One of the reports he's been using as the basis for his predatory, psychotic ramblings gets clarified by THE GUY WHO WROTE THE DAMN THING and Lucas finds every excuse to take personal offense to it rather than engage the writer in something resembling intelligent discourse. He can't take it as a learning experience - heh...Lucas learning something; that's adorable - and maybe adjust his thinking; oh no. He's gotta act like a big old baby.

Take a good, long look, Gen-Z ladies! That's what you're passing up! That Walmart Bargain-Bin Adonis could've been yours.

 

[GoutfootHorseface]

I am sorry, stuck on a conference call, got bored.

 

[Mike R]

View attachment 2002788View attachment 2002789View attachment 2002790
Rotten lettuce is from when he argued with the author of a study he was quoting on Twitter. Here’s the relevant shots before he blocked the author.

'You're calling me rotten lettuce'

You cannot convince him that women don't immediately drop their drawers for a guy with a baseball cap and a Honda Accord.

Everyone knows that women do immediately drop their drawers and give puss puss to a guy with a baseball cap and a Honda Accord, but it's funny to tell him it's not true.

 

[Krathnami]

Someone was asking this on one of the CWC threads but how horrifying would it be to wake up in the body of a lolcow. Lucas’s body and health are in such shit shape I don’t know what anyone could do to turn it around. Even while he’s circling the drain he’ll still be hanging around for a awhile longer just to spite us. At this point he’s probably beyond fixing even if by some miracle he did all the right treatments for his medical conditions and ate properly his physical health would still be permanently damaged the way he’s abused and neglected it for so many years.

The term 'Kafkaesque' was contrived for just this type of horrifying scenario.

I dunno, farmers. Do we think Lucas' story is complete bullshit or just partially bullshit? From my perspective, I think it's certainly possible he was stolen from, maybe even at knife point by another hobo because they all know at this point that he's an incredibly easy mark. The only part I 100% do not believe is that he got in a guy's face. We all know how demure Lucas gets in the presence of other males. If he was being willfully antagonistic toward another hobo then I'm a United States Senator.

 

[Fecunt]

“Rustic as hell”

...pile of charred meat on a torn pizza box lid, limp asparagus, large case of butter, a scratch ticket, some loosies, a baby bottle, a Mountain Dew, bottle of beer, and a pamphlet on ‘8 Amazing Steps to Optimize Your Health’

 

[mothman96]

The term 'Kafkaesque' was contrived for just this type of horrifying scenario.

I dunno, farmers. Do we think Lucas' story is complete bullshit or just partially bullshit? From my perspective, I think it's certainly possible he was stolen from, maybe even at knife point by another hobo because they all know at this point that he's an incredibly easy mark. The only part I 100% do not believe is that he got in a guy's face. We all know how demure Lucas gets in the presence of other males. If he was being willfully antagonistic toward another hobo then I'm a United States Senator.

I don't believe he got robbed by a guy with a knife that happened to be the friend of the guy he had the argument with at Cannon. He made the whole thing up.
Word did come to us last Thursday the 11th via @Nobleman that he'd heard Lucas was banned for 24 hrs the previous Thursday (Mar 4) for arguing with bed neighbors. Bed neighbors doesn't specify if man or woman so he could have had the argument with a woman.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lucas-werner.17234/page-1378#post-8514219

ETA:
It looked to me Lucas wasn't "welcomed" at that guy's cook out at the park. The guy totally ignored Lucas's talking to him. The Freak heard at the shelter someone was having a BBQ at the park and headed over there thinking of free food.

ETA2:
I wonder if he's blocked from his IG that's why he hasn't posted and/or deleted comments.

 

[Da Dude123]

I don't believe he got robbed by a guy with a knife that happened to be the friend of the guy he had the argument with at Cannon. He made the whole thing up.
Word did come to us last Thursday the 11th via @Nobleman that he'd heard Lucas was banned for 24 hrs the previous Thursday (Mar 4) for arguing with bed neighbors. Bed neighbors doesn't specify if man or woman so he could have had the argument with a woman.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lucas-werner.17234/page-1378#post-8514219

ETA:
It looked to me Lucas wasn't "welcomed" at that guy's cook out at the park. The guy totally ignored Lucas's talking to him. The Freak heard at the shelter someone was having a BBQ at the park and headed over there thinking of free food.

ETA2:
I wonder if he's blocked from his IG that's why he hasn't posted and/or deleted comments.

That's hilarious if he waddled over to the park thinking he was gonna get free food, only to get turned away and told to hit the road.

I guess we will have to watch for new YouTube videos. He should be getting his $5.00 check to use to get himself a new ID card. That is the only way he could get one is by having that voucher handed to him.

Also, he needs a new EBT card. The government needs to step up and help him, in this situation he is a poor disabled man who needs the handouts.

He hasn't posted on Twitter for well over a year. We will see if he returns to Facebook. Social media is his outlet. He has gotta mooo on one soon.

 

[wenttobermuda]

The term 'Kafkaesque' was contrived for just this type of horrifying scenario.

I dunno, farmers. Do we think Lucas' story is complete bullshit or just partially bullshit? From my perspective, I think it's certainly possible he was stolen from, maybe even at knife point by another hobo because they all know at this point that he's an incredibly easy mark. The only part I 100% do not believe is that he got in a guy's face. We all know how demure Lucas gets in the presence of other males. If he was being willfully antagonistic toward another hobo then I'm a United States Senator.

More bullshit than not, I suspect, but it shouldn't be outright dismissed as complete bullshit.

Lucas has been known to be confrontational on occasion; it's how he gets kicked out of homeless shelters. Arguing with his neighbors, raging over nurses and volunteer hairdressers not paying attention to him, etc. From time to time, his anger and resentment overwhelm his timidity, and he spazzes out.

Also consider that Lucas, for a homeless chap, isn't particularly streetwise. He finds himself in the company of disreputable characters, but he lacks their savvy. He is a mark, easily recognizable as a victim. And, while he can be confrontational, he backs down quickly if challenged.

It is plausible that he was robbed. Or has been robbed. I don't think it would take a knife.

In this particular instance, though, Lucas's account smells like bullshit. There may be a corn of truth in there, but I don't care to dig for it, because whatever the story Lucas (silverback that he is) has made an interesting admission. In the language of Lucas's beloved primates: Lucas is not man enough to keep a phone in his possession. Stronger males take Lucas's shit.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

ETA:
It looked to me Lucas wasn't "welcomed" at that guy's cook out at the park. The guy totally ignored Lucas's talking to him. The Freak heard at the shelter someone was having a BBQ at the park and headed over there thinking of free food.

I noticed this too!

At first I thought it was just me; I turned up the volume on my phone, actually put in some earphones, thinking that perhaps the guy had responded to him quietly.

But he didn't. In fact, the guy at the table didn't even really have body language that indicated that Lucas was supposed to be there....at all. And Lucas didn't seem bothered by the guys lack of response. It was very odd.

But that's Lucas, isn't it?

There's such a rush of odd things all at once, that sometimes it takes a while to break down every bizarre bit, and I think we were all struck by his labored huffing and puffing from walking 10 feet.

If the barbecue WASN'T the one Lucas was expecting, and he picked up a hamburger and stuck it in his melon, I would have loved to see the rest of the video when the guy walked over to Lucas and conked him on the rotten head of lettuce with an Igloo cooler full of beer.

SIGH.

A Wernologist can dream...

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I was wondering if maybe he was using Sharif’s phone for those videos? Because he isn’t posting much and still hasn’t logged in to Instagram.

Edit: Omg... Just watched his most recent video. He is literally about to pass out from walking the distance of a block. Revolting.

My guess is it's Sharif's phone since he's audible in every video.

Lucas probably had his shit stolen because that's common among the homeless, and I assume especially if you're the notable Town Pedo that annoys everyone and is an easy mark.

 

[Trainwreck]

I gotta tell you guys - Lucas was huffing and puffing like he just ran a fucking marathon but he literally walked less than a half a mile from the warming center on streets that are totally flat.

 

[Free the Pedos]

The term 'Kafkaesque' was contrived for just this type of horrifying scenario.

I dunno, farmers. Do we think Lucas' story is complete bullshit or just partially bullshit? From my perspective, I think it's certainly possible he was stolen from, maybe even at knife point by another hobo because they all know at this point that he's an incredibly easy mark. The only part I 100% do not believe is that he got in a guy's face. We all know how demure Lucas gets in the presence of other males. If he was being willfully antagonistic toward another hobo then I'm a United States Senator.

One thing I've noticed about cows who've driven everyone away is that when they do have an actual interpersonal interaction, they ruminate over it and reexamine it in their online diaries to no end. See Chantal's dissections of her interactions with every medical professional who's obliged to treat her, or how Becky Gerber will retweet vaguely negative tweets directed at her and mull over them.

I think that if he had actually been mugged, we would be subjected to endless screeds about all of the details.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Good god is he gasping for air in the latest video!

Forget about the bullshit story about getting mugged, having his phone stolen but yet he just lost his wallet? I guess the muggers would rather take the phone and not bother with the wallet somehow? Yeah. I know. Don’t try to make sense out of a Wern yarn.

But seriously, he sounds like his health is in decline. He barely walked 10 ft before he sounded so winded he needed to rest.

He’s always breathed heavy when walking, but this seems worse. I wonder if it’s leftover symptoms from his bout with Covid. You hear stories about people who had their lungs wrecked by it.

That being said, all you teenage girls out there, imagine this hunk of lard laying atop you while thrusting his micro peen and breathing like that into your ear while calling you “Ovulator”.

 

[Fecunt]

He wasn’t mugged. Every time he has to sleep rough his shit gets stolen when he’s asleep. Last time it was that he just left his phone behind the gas station or whatever and didn’t feel like going all the way back for it so he just got another one. He uses these excuses as a salve for the fact that he’s utter prey to his fellow “comrades” and is now trapped in a situation that he has to create a reality that removes acknowledging his terminal incompetence

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

He wasn’t mugged. Every time he has to sleep rough his shit gets stolen when he’s asleep. Last time it was that he just left his phone behind the gas station or whatever and didn’t feel like going all the way back for it so he just got another one. He uses these excuses as a salve for the fact that he’s utter prey to his fellow “comrades” and is now trapped in a situation that he has to create a reality that removes acknowledging his terminal incompetence

Yeah, the mugging thing is certainly pure bullshit. He said at the beginning of the video it got nicked while he was charging it. The fat retard probably heard the dinner bell and promptly forgot about the phone in his haste to gorge himself.

All that huffing and puffing in the video made me think of the Big Bad Wolf. Lucas is like an obese, autistic omega wolf looking to blow down the party houses of the flatbills hoarding all the zoomer baes.