Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

Everything Lucas touches is going to get a bit of mania on it, whether its an ill-conceived game or a toaster oven meal. If Lucas wants to invest tremendous energy and concentration into designing his games, that is time not spent lurking behind the HS wondering why a teen hasn't fallen in love with him.

I'd say the time and energy he spends "working" on his schizo board games still doesn't stop him from going downtown and eye raping Gen Z baes.

 

[IceQueen]

I don't know; I used to think the same as you, but I feel as though the board games are so illogical, and such an outlet for his narcissism in such an odd busy work way, that I actually don't see them as being productive.

Yes, they are something other than his two most self-destructive impulses, but I can't see them as healthy for some reason. The idea that he's busy engaging in something positive isn't consistent with making all these non-playable board games. In the year when he made meeple toss and cafeteria uprising, he claimed to have made about 10 games, and after that he said he would focus on one or two.

Well that seems to have gone directly out the window, and now he's just dropping these crazy ideas on the ground, like scattering bread crumbs. For some reason, the board game creation is too connected to his mania, and it's too bizarre and illogical, to seem healthy...

I don't think his board games are a "positive thing", but I do think it is an improvement over the periods when he isn't focused on them. There is no hope for Lucas to be a functioning member of society or a normal human being, so the very best we can hope for is him simply occupying himself and not causing problems that involve other people/causing a commotion in public. The board games help with that, and also are not unhealthy in the way that laying in a motel room and gorging himself for days on end is, or in the way that screaming and crying in the park all night is. So yeah, def not a GOOD thing, but much better than the other things he does.

 

[mothman96]

1st day of HS classes at TEC-Bryant is Sept. 7. I'd say part of his "daily walk" is going to be creeping close to the campus to see if he can catch an eye full of HS girls.

 

[WonderWino]

I don't know; I used to think the same as you, but I feel as though the board games are so illogical, and such an outlet for his narcissism in such an odd busy work way, that I actually don't see them as being productive.

Yes, they are something other than his two most self-destructive impulses, but I can't see them as healthy for some reason. The idea that he's busy engaging in something positive isn't consistent with making all these non-playable board games. In the year when he made meeple toss and cafeteria uprising, he claimed to have made about 10 games, and after that he said he would focus on one or two.

Well that seems to have gone directly out the window, and now he's just dropping these crazy ideas on the ground, like scattering bread crumbs. For some reason, the board game creation is too connected to his mania, and it's too bizarre and illogical, to seem healthy...

I have to agree. Sure, getting obsessed with creating board games temporarily draws his attention from doing more questionable things wherever he happens to be at the time, but it also tends to make him act obsessive about it, do stupid things to support said game obsession (like spending money he can't afford on pointlessly creating/buying games he'll never use) and almost all of the games he has created in some way tie into his existing obsessions to some degree or another, which only reinforces them. I don't doubt it started with some suggestion from one of his doctors to help him channel his behavior into something productive, but it doesn't look like that happened the way it was intended to. Lucas found a way to do it that just feeds into his own ego, narcissism and existing obsessions. If anything that isn't only counter productive and unhealthy, its red flag territory that those obsessions are that ingrained that he makes everything about them in some way

Lucas has enough self-control to stop himself from bothering people. He displays this regularly. If he did that, then he'd be perfectly fine living comfortably on his tugboat.

Most of the time thats the case. Not that he doesn't still slip up and get in shit occasionally even when he is trying to be careful. He looks around nervously doing that shit for a reason. He absolutely uses it to his advantage and does staged freakouts to get what he wants, at least from time to time

Point being, he knows on some level that the stuff he says isn't considered appropriate by most other people he spends time around, which is why he sneaks off to isolated areas and watches like a nervous dog taking a shit for anybody who might wander by and overhear his insane ranting and go after him for some of the more questionable things he says. Its also why he is so touchy about being called creepy for saying that stuff, because on some level he does know he's being creepy. Maybe not to his standards, he may not believe what he does and says is questionable but he knows that others believe it

Okay. But what's the backstory of the rock? Is it also a plant hybrid alien from a marxist underground cave that took over a small fief the size of Rhode Island and couldn't get laid for 3000 years because it was too busy building rivers from its tableau for 20 points?

.....The fact that lucas came up with that shit as a backstory and talks about it like its a perfectly normal thing to say speaks for itself. Thats the kind of lunacy that is constantly going on in his head

 

[AbraCadaver]

You tell them you are generation X. You do? I have never heard anyone refer to themselves as a generation when just meeting someone. He is so damn obsessed with generations. It's very exceptional. I don't think he tells Gen Z anything because he is too big of a pussy to talk to the Gen Z baes. He just chases them off buses and lurks around corners.

I think he clings to generation labels because it’s the one of the few groups of other humans that can’t kick him out, no matter how much they want to. It’s a group and identity for him to belong to, and unlike every birthday party at school when he was young, this group physically can’t exclude him.

He also said in that vid that his dad’s property is worth $300k, when in the past he’s said it’s worth $5mil

Maybe he thinks if he keeps claiming his family is rich and he’s on good terms with them (as he has lied about constantly in the past), he’ll lose out on his new “bottom of the barrel desperate poor person with nowhere else to turn” housing, because someone with those resources available doesn’t need to live where Lucas is now.

Don’t sperg about whether this is a legitimate actual thing to fear. I doubt it has any actual impact, but the question is not whether it could realistically happen, but rather does Lucas think it could?

 

[mothman96]

Now he wants for someone to pay him to make prototypes of his other schizo games. He'll send them the prototype so they can play it and get back to him. The game he previously said he wants $200 to build I'm sure will cost him much less than $100 to order the prototype from the GameCrafters. He wants to pocket around $140 -$160 from that game.

Another "idea" for a game:

 

[Fatal Walter]

So he wants people to pay him to do his work for him? That's a very Lucas business model. Absolutely nothing in it for the people he wants to beta test for him. Beta test is being generous. I know none of his games except maybe Meeple Toss have been anywhere near that level.

 

[IceQueen]

Maybe he thinks if he keeps claiming his family is rich and he’s on good terms with them (as he has lied about constantly in the past), he’ll lose out on his new “bottom of the barrel desperate poor person with nowhere else to turn” housing, because someone with those resources available doesn’t need to live where Lucas is now.

Don’t sperg about whether this is a legitimate actual thing to fear. I doubt it has any actual impact, but the question is not whether it could realistically happen, but rather does Lucas think it could?

I doubt he thinks this, simply because if there was a legal way to MAKE his parents continue to care for him, he would have talked about how he's going to sue them because they won't pay for housing/Clinkerdagger/a mail order bride/etc. Lucas has been a ward of the state long enough that I think he knows that his parents are NOT legally responsible for him and there's nothing that he or the states of Washington or Arizona could do to force King Roy and Queen Myrna to do anything for him or give him any money.

The only way something you mentioned could apply is for dependent children, and I think that Lucas' payees have made it clear to him that he hasn't been a dependent of Roy and Myrna for a long time, and thus they have no legal obligation to him. If this had not be iterated to Lucas at some point, he would be sperging about how he is going to take his family to court. Also, assuming he would even THINK of something like that is giving him way too much credit. He can keep himself alive but he has no idea how the world works. I doubt he even knows that the "parents make too much money for you to get help" thing is even a thing at colleges/universities, because he never went to one when he was a dependent.

Edit: I just thought of something else interesting about Myrna and the birthday party incident... She says that she talked to lots of other parents who said if they had known the birthday girl had excluded only Lucas, they wouldn't have let their kids go to the party. But did she talk to the birthday girl's parents? My guess is that she either didn't, or she did, and the parents/the little girl gave her a very good reason as to why Lucas wasn't invited which she just elected not to put on her blog. I would very much believe she didn't talk to them too, though, she is probably as much of a coward about confronting people as Lucas is. But just an interesting thing, she expresses such outrage and sorrow that her son was excluded and talks to people who aren't part of the situation for sympathy, but why wouldn't you wonder/ask WHY he was excluded?

 

[Wernology]

So he wants people to pay him to do his work for him? That's a very Lucas business model. Absolutely nothing in it for the people he wants to beta test for him. Beta test is being generous. I know none of his games except maybe Meeple Toss have been anywhere near that level.

I mean, he is a greedy leech, so it makes sense.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Some astute KFer mentioned that Lucas had found the "community" tab on his YouTube page. He seems to have found the "about me" as well.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

So he wants people to pay him to do his work for him? That's a very Lucas business model. Absolutely nothing in it for the people he wants to beta test for him. Beta test is being generous. I know none of his games except maybe Meeple Toss have been anywhere near that level.

From the way he described his Catandyland game, it sounds like he’s hoping the players will finish making up the rules for him too.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Now he wants for someone to pay him to make prototypes of his other schizo games. He'll send them the prototype so they can play it and get back to him. The game he previously said he wants $200 to build I'm sure will cost him much less than $100 to order the prototype from the GameCrafters. He wants to pocket around $140 -$160 from that game.

Another "idea" for a game:

No one wants these games but I want to point out that the Joneses video includes a game which is basically him talking about doing things to get resources and get ahead.

that’s life Lucas. That’s life. I do that by working a job and not eating like a glutton. No one wants a game that is just nonsense doing what is normally done.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

The Zucchini Challenge

youtu.be

Words fail me.

Dr N. Luke is taking giant, dog-choking bites out of a raw zucchini. He chews like a cow chewing its cud. He chews like an old man with no teeth; his mandibles bouncing up and down like a cartoon of the act of mastication.

Edit: At the very end of the video, he manages to get a chunk of zucchini inside of his nose, from eating so ferociously. Well done Lucas, well done.

Edit 2:

if You Were My Wife

youtu.be

Lucas would cook for you, if you were his wife. He lists all the many foods he would make you. Assuming he had the funds to buy all these foods to cook. Obviously an unimportant detail. Actually, this really sounds like Lucas is hungry. He's not getting as much food as he's accustomed to, and the higher price of rent he's having to pay is leaving him with less money to satisfy his gluttony. So he'll talk about food, instead, like an anorexic woman drooling over cookbooks.

It's amazing how many faults he has. There's such incredible depth, layers, nuance, and bombast to his horribleness.

PS: The "If You Were My Wife" video marks the return of "cartouchery" boards.

Come on; did anyone honestly think Lucas (he of GAL-door, MICE-ogyny, gah-LOOSE humor, etc) could pronounce charcuterie?

EDIT 3: At the very end of Lucas's "Bubba Gump Shrimp"-long list of promised meals, he offers to make his hypothetical child-bride bumps on a log. He doesn't call it this, but he's talking about bumps on a log. You know, what your mom used to put in your brown paper lunch sack? In a Ziploc bag? Short sticks of celery filled with peanut butter with a few raisins lined up on top of the peanut butter? Bumps on a Log. You know, the choice snack for grade school children. Health conscious grade school children, thank you very much!

Hey ladies of Bistango: Do you want some bumps on a log? Want some handy-snacks, complete with short red plastic stick, to facilitate the spreading of artificial cheese-food spread onto rectangular saltine crackers? How about some Shark Bites? No? You want to share my Ziploc bag 1/4 full of cinnamon Teddy Grahams? No? How about my lukewarm Capri Sun? And my tuna fish sandwich, where the tuna fish is soaked through the bread?

Only the best for you, my Kween.....

 

[Neko GF]

Spoiler: The Zucchini Challenge

Original:

Archive (1080p):

Spoiler: if You Were My Wife

Original:

Archive (1080p):

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

The Zucchini Challenge

youtu.be

View attachment 2499975

Words fail me.

Dr N. Luke is taking giant, dog-choking bites out of a raw zucchini. He chews like a cow chewing its cud. He chews like an old man with no teeth; his mandibles bouncing up and down like a cartoon of the act of mastication.

Edit: At the very end of the video, he manages to get a chunk of zucchini inside of his nose, from eating so ferociously. Well done Lucas, well done.

Edit 2:

if You Were My Wife

youtu.be

Lucas would cook for you, if you were his wife. He lists all the many foods he would make you. Assuming he had the funds to buy all these foods to cook. Obviously an unimportant detail. Actually, this really sounds like Lucas is hungry. He's not getting as much food as he's accustomed to, and the higher price of rent he's having to pay is leaving him with less money to satisfy his gluttony. So he'll talk about food, instead, like an anorexic woman drooling over cookbooks.

It's amazing how many faults he has. There's such incredible depth, layers, nuance, and bombast to his horribleness.

PS: The "if you were my wife" video marks the return of cartouchery boards.

Come on; did anyone think Lucas could pronounce charcuterie?

He said he’d make his wife celery and pb with raisins.
Ants on a log.
A snack for literal children.

 

[WonderWino]

The Zucchini Challenge

youtu.be

View attachment 2499975

Words fail me.

Dr N. Luke is taking giant, dog-choking bites out of a raw zucchini. He chews like a cow chewing its cud. He chews like an old man with no teeth; his mandibles bouncing up and down like a cartoon of the act of mastication.

Edit: At the very end of the video, he manages to get a chunk of zucchini inside of his nose, from eating so ferociously. Well done Lucas, well done.

Edit 2:

if You Were My Wife

youtu.be

Lucas would cook for you, if you were his wife. He lists all the many foods he would make you. Assuming he had the funds to buy all these foods to cook. Obviously an unimportant detail. Actually, this really sounds like Lucas is hungry. He's not getting as much food as he's accustomed to, and the higher price of rent he's having to pay is leaving him with less money to satisfy his gluttony. So he'll talk about food, instead, like an anorexic woman drooling over cookbooks.

It's amazing how many faults he has. There's such incredible depth, layers, nuance, and bombast to his horribleness.

PS: The "if you were my wife" video marks the return of cartouchery boards.

Come on; did anyone think Lucas could pronounce charcuterie?

....Now lets see him do that with an eggplant. He'd regret that real quick, especially if he was stupid enough to actually eat the whole thing. He'd be sick as fuck

and I like how he follows this up with talking about how if you were his wife he'd make you whatever food you want. His whole life revolves around two obsessions: underage girls and food. I'd like to know where he would get the money to make said food, I mean the flophouse is currently taking almost all of his money. Shows how much he actually thinks about what he is saying

....That said, that first video is just begging for an edited version to show him taking a bite out of a big cock. He'd be livid at seeing that

 

[mothman96]

Words fail me.

Dr N. Luke is taking giant, dog-choking bites out of a raw zucchini. He chews like a cow chewing its cud. He chews like an old man with no teeth; his mandibles bouncing up and down like a cartoon of the act of mastication.

Edit: At the very end of the video, he manages to get a chunk of zucchini inside of his nose, from eating so ferociously. Well done Lucas, well done.

ETA:
Did he walk away with that squash from someones garden. I don't think he bought it.

 

[Wernology]

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I should thank him for making my thumbnail choice an easy one.

 

[HaloHero65]

ETA:
Did he walk away with that squash from someones garden. I don't think he bought it.

I would imagine there are community gardens he could have yoinked it from.
Do we have a theft history with Werner the wiener? I doubt he'd waste his small amount of money on anything that isn't pure junk

 

[HaloHero65]

Here's some photos of Mallon Place from street view. It's under a mile walk to spokane courthouse so at least he shouldn't be late to his hearing.
I'm guessing the buildings outback are hang out common areas and that's where Lucas has been posting videos from. They are build on a standard prefabricated plan so it'd be damn cheap to build.