Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Some activity on his community page
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What the actual fuck was his reference to Odo and the Great Link in there?

If you like Bernie Sanders you've...joined something like the Great Link from fucking Star Trek?

Tell me you've never watched DS9 without telling me you've never watched DS9. I'll go first: You liken the Changelings and everything about them to a left wing progressive politician.

Lucas has gone beyond just using words he doesn't understand, he's making entire pop culture references that he doesn't understand and that's somehow way funnier.

Edit: Since he's apparently reading here enough to have got the one Star Trek reference, I'll offer this:

He's a Ferengi.
One of the poor ones that nobody respects because he can't figure out how to be successful at anything.

I mean, he's greedy, he's lumpy, he views women as property that one has to 'earn' or that he 'deserves' to be given, his teeth are unsettling to look at...dude's a Ferengi.

I can't even imagine Lucas ever having the mental capacity to watch a sophisticated television show without tuning out after a minute.

He seems too deeply consumed by his obsessions to be capable of it.
 
I wonder if there would be any interest in a Wernology trivia game? Perhaps some jerk will design and gift him one.
I've been rolling around ideas for a Wern game... Kinda Monopoly-ish with light RPG/CYOA (dont play many board games so not many points of reference). I think it might have a short version (winner is whoever gets sent to the nut house first) and a long version (winner is whoever dies of beetus/coronary/exposure first). If i ever get off my ass and put shit to paper i'll be hitting up the thread for some reference material because lazy.

Eta: which is better mechanic: winner institutionalized/dies first, or winner is last player left after others institutionalized/dead?
 
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I've been rolling around ideas for a Wern game... Kinda Monopoly-ish with light RPG/CYOA (dont play many board games so not many points of reference). I think it might have a short version (winner is whoever gets sent to the nut house first) and a long version (winner is whoever dies of beetus/coronary/exposure first). If i ever get off my ass and put shit to paper i'll be hitting up the thread for some reference material because lazy.

Eta: which is better mechanic: winner institutionalized/dies first, or winner is last player left after others institutionalized/dead?
Maybe winner is the only one left without getting Gen-Z puss-puss?
 
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Let's get a Science Will Find a Way Game going. For Lucas.
My randomly generated numbers are: 3, 4, 6.

I choose ore, oil, rubber. I could have chosen feathers, bone, and wool, but then I would have feathers, bone, and wool.

Now, I think I build something. I think I build it by saying I am building it? Right?

Can I build a pitcher of soda and a wall to throw it against with my ore, oil, and rubber? No?

I build a pneumatic, lubricated dildo engraved with "SHUT THE FUCK UP FAGGOT." With the ore, oil, and rubber. Never mind, it's not lubricated. The oil is just to make plastic components for the dildo.

I must build 5 more things to be the victor...
I've been rolling around ideas for a Wern game... Kinda Monopoly-ish with light RPG/CYOA (dont play many board games so not many points of reference). I think it might have a short version (winner is whoever gets sent to the nut house first) and a long version (winner is whoever dies of beetus/coronary/exposure first). If i ever get off my ass and put shit to paper i'll be hitting up the thread for some reference material because lazy.

Eta: which is better mechanic: winner institutionalized/dies first, or winner is last player left after others institutionalized/dead?
I like it. I prefer the mechanic of a race to institutionalization. It emphasizes how the lolcow chooses their own self-destruction.
Perhaps present it like Don Quxiote. The player is aware that they are racing towards hospitalization, but their avatar isn't. The in-game persona is pursuing a personal schizophrenic goal, which inevitably leads to their hospitalization as they progress.

One player might essentially play Lucas, whose race towards the nuthouse is presented as a statutory rapequest; another could be on a cross-country road trip to expose pedo/law enforcement collusion. Any skitzocow or crazy archetype would do, and be fun to RP.
I'm toying with a card game called Mooks of Twitter, where each player is dealt a hand of mental health symptoms and/or embarrassing secrets at the start of play. There is no point to the game, but you are encouraged to diagnose your fellows to eliminate them from play. Then there's Hey White People You Call Your Friends Nigger In This Game, where each player draws cards that represent their identity ("Ok guys, I got...'Autist,' 'Black,' and 'Gay...'") and is then made the subject of hate crimes by their fellow players. And also a dice game, Gaping Assholes Viral Kawaii Challenge, where players try to identify if a cry of despair was generated by an algorithm or a human. None of these will ever come to fruition because: fuck games.
 
Back again with the Halloween shirt. He sounds extremely tired and can barely finish his muddled thoughts about cougars, panthers and no god in the dystopian wasteland of covid hell where everyone else but Lucas is hooking up.

Edit: I think it’s all been getting to him lately, he has little spending money to show off like he used to on Motel 6 binges and he knows the roof over his head is in an adult day care where he can effect little change on his surroundings not that he could effect a whole lot of change to begin with but I think this time he might be starting to recognize that he is stuck with few options and it’s only going to be going steadily downwards from here on out. Even if he keeps telling himself things that aren’t true about his board games and future plans it’s all just a coping routine.
 
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Back again with the Halloween shirt. He sounds extremely tired and can barely finish his muddled thoughts about cougars, panthers and no god in the dystopian wasteland of covid hell where everyone else but Lucas is hooking up.

Lucas, stop trying to make the Panther thing happen... it isn’t going to (You might say that it isn’t in the cards).

I think he’s fucked up on something (either drunk or stoned) and it’s only 10AM his time. I predict this goes over well at the sober living house he’s in.
 
I predicted Lucas would be kicked out of Mallon Place by today, and he's still there. It does surprise me greatly that Lucas hasn't even bitched about this awful setup he has at all. It's strange. My best guess is something happened around a month ago that really scared Lucas away from being homeless anymore.
 
Back again with the Halloween shirt. He sounds extremely tired and can barely finish his muddled thoughts about cougars, panthers and no god in the dystopian wasteland of covid hell where everyone else but Lucas is hooking up.

Edit: I think it’s all been getting to him lately, he has little spending money to show off like he used to on Motel 6 binges and he knows the roof over his head is in an adult day care where he can effect little change on his surroundings not that he could effect a whole lot of change to begin with but I think this time he might be starting to recognize that he is stuck with few options and it’s only going to be going steadily downwards from here on out. Even if he keeps telling himself things that aren’t true about his board games and future plans it’s all just a coping routine.
Looks to me he's been crying again.

ETA:
He's streaming:

 
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I predicted Lucas would be kicked out of Mallon Place by today, and he's still there. It does surprise me greatly that Lucas hasn't even bitched about this awful setup he has at all. It's strange. My best guess is something happened around a month ago that really scared Lucas away from being homeless anymore.
He has praised the food quite a lot, so I’m guessing that is why he isn’t leaving or bitching. Baby is getting his favorite bottle, so he isn’t as fussy.
 
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