Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

View attachment 2726362
Lucas Werner can't meme. Or resize his IG photos. Or stop begging.

Also hasn't he heard the adage "you can't outrun your diet"?

What the fuck is all this "insult your dog, insult your cat" nonsense? Nobody roasts dogs (on this continent anyway). Lucas is so wildly out of touch with the rest of society. This isn't a thing. Where the fuck did he even get this idea? Pay a mentally ill bum fifty American dollars to insult an animal in a Youtube video? Not to power level but for my gf's birthday I paid an artistic friend $50 for a commissioned drawing of the two of us. And when I wanted to give a friend a "joke gift" (or a gag gift as allistic people call it) I got him some Chuck Tingle books for like $10 or $15. Lucas is just so out of touch, he's like an alien. He doesn't know what a good gift is or how much it should cost. He doesn't know what good jokes are. I can't think of a single deliberately funny thing he's ever said, his "comedian" delusion is one of his most baffling. I can't even tell what if anything is supposed to be an attempt at a joke.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

What the fuck is all this "insult your dog, insult your cat" nonsense? Nobody roasts dogs (on this continent anyway). Lucas is so wildly out of touch with the rest of society. This isn't a thing. Where the fuck did he even get this idea? baffling. I can't even tell what if anything is supposed to be an attempt at a joke.

One fool gave him $50 to insult a cat.

 

[Tard Police]

What the fuck is all this "insult your dog, insult your cat" nonsense? Nobody roasts dogs (on this continent anyway). Lucas is so wildly out of touch with the rest of society. This isn't a thing. Where the fuck did he even get this idea? Pay a mentally ill bum fifty American dollars to insult an animal in a Youtube video? Not to power level but for my gf's birthday I paid an artistic friend $50 for a commissioned drawing of the two of us. And when I wanted to give a friend a "joke gift" (or a gag gift as allistic people call it) I got him some Chuck Tingle books for like $10 or $15. Lucas is just so out of touch, he's like an alien. He doesn't know what a good gift is or how much it should cost. He doesn't know what good jokes are. I can't think of a single deliberately funny thing he's ever said, his "comedian" delusion is one of his most baffling. I can't even tell what if anything is supposed to be an attempt at a joke.

One fool gave him $50 to insult a cat.

That autist that paid him to insult her cats really drove his perspective even further away from reality than it already was. Really goes to show what kind of insane concepts can be spawned when two supremely autistic people come into contact. Now fatty thinks there's a market of people that will pay money for you to insult their pets and grandparents. Most people take offense to that sort of thing, but I guess it makes perfect sense when you've got an elementary school grasp on reality.
He's so consistent on this arbitrary $50 price for everything too. Because one "customer" was willing to pay that for a "service" all of them naturally are. He's got no overhead, no bottom line to meet, just another concept to try to speak into existence. It's like a little kid trying to open up a business of selling sticks and rocks out of their yard and charging "a bajillion" dollars because they don't have any real experience with money yet.

 

[Da Dude123]

One fool gave him $50 to insult a cat.

Yeah, that was probably 2 months ago and Lucas has been talking about it ever since. It does not take much to feed his delusions. And this whole thing feeds into Lucas believing that he is a celebrity. He isn't, of course. He is a ragman that lives in a last resort, one star rated nursing home for rejects. But to Lucas, he is a famous celebrity.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

It does not take much to feed his delusions.

This is so spot-on, and important. In the same way that kiwis theorized that a "bless you!" could turn into two weeks of atheist rage, the reverse is also true: one drop of reinforcement will keep Lucas going for months.

 

[Jeep1971]

Makes you realize just how much salt there is in bacon. Yikes. Never really thought of it that way before. I wonder if ham is even worse

Lucas's tears probably have enough salt in them to cure a barrel of hams at this point

The fat fuck is literally pickling himself like a pepper or a cucumber!
Can you imagine the pickled sweat stench duking it out with his regular BO stench?

 

[wenttobermuda]

That autist that paid him to insult her cats really drove his perspective even further away from reality than it already was. Really goes to show what kind of insane concepts can be spawned when two supremely autistic people come into contact. Now fatty thinks there's a market of people that will pay money for you to insult their pets and grandparents. Most people take offense to that sort of thing, but I guess it makes perfect sense when you've got an elementary school grasp on reality.
He's so consistent on this arbitrary $50 price for everything too. Because one "customer" was willing to pay that for a "service" all of them naturally are. He's got no overhead, no bottom line to meet, just another concept to try to speak into existence. It's like a little kid trying to open up a business of selling sticks and rocks out of their yard and charging "a bajillion" dollars because they don't have any real experience with money yet.

I am opposed to giving lolcows money in principle. In fact, I am opposed anyone having money but me on principle. Paying Lucas for "services" is poor form, subscription trolling is faggotry. But whoever gave Lucas $50 to insult a kitty was exceptionally cruel. Perhaps without meaning to be so. Cruel, because they gave Lucas hope, the idea that he could pocket $50 again for something similary silly. Lucas thought he saw a future for himself as a comic in the neghole pozzing. Alas. From now, until the beetus takes him by the hand and carries him off to the elk pasture below, Lucas will always think I can make $50 online with my funny insults! I'm a comic! It happened once, it'll happen again! In this, gettimng $50 was like dating Suzanne. A one time event that fucked his expectations for life.

 

[Telomere Savalas]

If he’s drinking soy sauce with 3 meals and two snacks a day, while being completely sedentary, bipolar, and on meds, his blood pressure must be through the fucking roof. Every time he rages out, he’s risking a heart attack or stroke. He has free healthcare through the state; I’m surprised they aren’t taking him to physical therapy for his leg and his feet. Even if he can’t walk too much, he could be on a stationary bike, so that he’s getting some cardio in and lowering his resting heart rate and maybe missing a meal or snack here or there.

His TDEE must be so high and the fact that he’s still gaining is ridiculous. If he keeps up at this pace, he’ll probably be a candidate for the deathfat deadpool by spring.

Is he on a diabetic meal program at "home"?

 

[Cow-Lovin' Fool]

He shouted out Shawn today and did so rather angrily. Called him a cunt and and a Nazi. I wonder what happened?

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

He shouted out Shawn today and did so rather angrily. Called him a cunt and and a Nazi. I wonder what happened?

Where?

 

[Tard Police]

A glimpse at the world through Lucas's eyes

 

[IceQueen]

Darth Beetus. What does he do all day. I notice how quickly he responds to anything on Instagram probably because he’s lying in bed or eating food with his internet connection ready to respond to that lady Z who he thinks will reach out to him at any moment.
View attachment 2725938

“The best revenge is living well” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I JUST CHOKED ON MY DINNER. Oh yes Lucas, you’re living SO well. Only almost 42 years old and in an assisted living home. Has been kicked out of every place he’s ever lived, including the places he had his OWN apartment at. Has horrible taste in food to the point that he eats cold clam chowder straight from the can. Weighs over 300 pounds and is so physically unhealthy that his feet are rotting off as we speak. Pisses maple syrup. 90% of his family won’t speak to him and the 10% that will (his mom and step dad) is solely because 1) they want to make sure he’s not making them look too terrible, and 2) they’ll feel guilty if they straight up let him die in a gutter. Hasn’t had a girlfriend in a decade because he abused the only woman aside from his mother who ever gave a fuck about him. Cries daily. Is hated by every single person who meets him. Has almost 2000 pages (here on the farms) of people talking about how he’s such a horrible pedophile. Brain is made of Swiss cheese and causes him to hear voices, have violent mood swings, and be an all around bridge troll — even though his body is disgustingly unhealthy, somehow his mind is WORSE. And that’s just to name a FEW. Yeah Lucas, you’re living SO well.

 

[mothman96]

Now the Freak is "playing" nice with his mother because she gave him another gift. She bought him a $50 board game design book for Chritmas. Wait didn't the Freak say Christmas shouldn't be celebrated. Gift giving is part of Christmas so why is he accepting a Christmas gift. I'm sure he was the one that prodded her to give him the book for Christmas.
What should read "my wife". The board game book?

Freak, your mother gave you another gift but you are still not wanted in her house. Hell she doesn't want you in her city.

 

[Wernology]

Now the Freak is "playing" nice with his mother because she gave him another gift. She bought him a $50 board game design book for Chritmas. Wait didn't the Freak say Christmas shouldn't be celebrated. Gift giving is part of Christmas so why is he accepting a Christmas gift. I'm sure he was the one that prodded her to give him the book for Christmas.
What should read "my wife". The board game book?

Freak, your mother gave you another gift but you are still not wanted in her house. Hell she doesn't want you in her city.

View attachment 2727222

Probably because his mom is the only woman who even vaguely tolerates him and tells him she loves him (out of obligation).

He's one disgusting move away from Chris Chan at this point. Probably a good thing he's nowhere near his mother and she doesn't have dementia.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Now the Freak is "playing" nice with his mother because she gave him another gift. She bought him a $50 board game design book for Chritmas. Wait didn't the Freak say Christmas shouldn't be celebrated. Gift giving is part of Christmas so why is he accepting a Christmas gift. I'm sure he was the one that prodded her to give him the book for Christmas.
What should read "my wife". The board game book?

Freak, your mother gave you another gift but you are still not wanted in her house. Hell she doesn't want you in her city.

View attachment 2727222

Comment already gone. What a pussy.

 

[mothman96]

Comment already gone. What a pussy.

The comment is still there.

ETA:
The Freak blocked jennalbatross

 

[Poop Shoot]

He can’t just say he was gifted a nice game kit, he has to let you know how much it cost.

But no, it’s everyone else who is obsessed with money.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

It’s nice to catch these comments before Lucas purges them.

 

[Zoomer Bae]

Now the Freak is "playing" nice with his mother because she gave him another gift. She bought him a $50 board game design book for Chritmas. Wait didn't the Freak say Christmas shouldn't be celebrated. Gift giving is part of Christmas so why is he accepting a Christmas gift. I'm sure he was the one that prodded her to give him the book for Christmas.
What should read "my wife". The board game book?

Freak, your mother gave you another gift but you are still not wanted in her house. Hell she doesn't want you in her city.

View attachment 2727222

Wasn’t it $30? Surely Lucas the communist who doesn’t give a damn about money wouldn’t lie about something like that.

 

[mothman96]

Wasn’t it $30? Surely Lucas the communist who doesn’t give a damn about money wouldn’t lie about something like that.
View attachment 2727858

The Freak is talking about another gift. The White Box was his birthday gift. The $50 book will be for Christmas.

Comments: