Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
He somehow seems to think "Democractic Socialism" will mean the government will get him a girlfriend... Déja-vù. It seems he doesn't quite understand what the Bernie platform is about.

Also, shouldn't the first step towards better success with women consist in closing his mouth and putting on a clean shirt? Also maybe being less ageist himself towards women his own age?
 
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Man, you'd think the guy who invented functional Superluminal Communication would be anything but broke. You'd also think he wouldn't spend the majority of his time whining about his un-humped dick on Facebook.

Of course, I'm sure he's not lying about having what's basically an Ansible. I mean, that's the only explanation for how he manages to post so much shit to Facebook so quickly.
 
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Looks like I found one of his OkC accounts: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Keplerman (https://archive.is/wr6Bo)
Lucas Werner said:
What I’m doing with my life
I'd like to assemble a 10 cm tellurite cube filled with Caesium vapor running a 1.9 Hz pulse with a 3.5 * 10^14 MHz propagation current at a 330 (+ or - 30) gain assist rate connected to a 4 second / RBG optical pumping sequence in order to send a message back in time by breaking the speed of light. I'd like to replicate an experiment done 13 years ago at Princeton.

My thought is that a sustained beam of 24 seconds will warp the space-time continuum #backwards in time 2 hours. Should it work, I've essentially built a "faster than light" communications device and by way of the theory of general relativity, a "time machine".

My idea involves placing a stencil over the exit panel with the cutouts of various shapes to see what happens because only light can travel back in time. If we can receive messages in this manner, we're going to attempt to predict the winning numbers of the Powerball. I'm also trying to prove the efficacy of Big Bounce Theory.

If all goes well, we've already won the lottery because we had the numbers hours ago, bought the winning ticket and it's in a box locked safe and sound, waiting for us to open it.

#Powerball ticket sales are cut off 59 minutes before drawings.
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lolwut are those physics for real

Discussion on this guy on tickld, of all places: http://www.tickld.com/smsg/t/1222830 (https://archive.is/JgLN4). Apparently Lucas posted this according to one of the commenters:
Lucas Werner said:
"How to get laid:
1. Find a woman who likes guys your age. I'm 35. This won't work on you if you're an age-ist.
2. Tell her feminism means being a man taking her out on a date is sexist.
3. If she agrees, but still won't date you, tell her socialism means she has to pay for the date because you don't have any money.
4. If she disagrees, tell her that's why you're not voting for Hillary Clinton and why you're not a Republican.
5. Go home and masturbate. You don't need that gold digger mentality in your life."
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rates fedoras

And he also have a quickmeme profile. QUICK. MEME. http://www.quickmeme.com/user/olympiaatheist (https://archive.is/HbrMG)
 
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hood LOLCOW said:
Looks like I found one of his OkC accounts: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Keplerman (https://archive.is/wr6Bo)

lolwut are those physics for real.
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He wants to date ~19 year olds. So he posts his plans for making light travel back in time on OKC. Because everyone knows the best way to make that demographic wet is dubious quantum physics.

And wow, he's claiming he has a perfectly working theory for FTL communication that can actually go back in time. I'm pretty sure that's not how FTL communication works, but ok.

Either way, I can 100% guarantee that - if it is even possible to make - it will be invented by actual scientists with very capitalist research grants and not by a literally broke socialist who never finished college.
 
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Ok, so I ran into something a bit interesting. I decided to look up a bit of what he said on his OkC profile ("I'd like to replicate an experiment done 13 years ago at Princeton") by checking some of the keywords he used. Looking up "cesium vapor propagation" brought me to this website, where they describe a supposed experiment that sounds exactly like what he's proposing.

The site itself seems weird and pseudosciency (don't know enough about physics to say one way or the other), and I had trouble finding a more reputable source talking about this supposed experiment, but that's not the point. The point is that Lucas Werner's supposed discovery of "how to build a working FTL communicator" is less like "I discovered it" and more like "I found it on Google."

Apparently to him, socialism means taking the what other people did and claiming it was his all along.
 
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I do not understand these guys, and that includes Chris-Chan, Marjan, and Nick Bate, who think that sex is both something they are entitled to and a necessity for living. News flash, guys, nobody OWES you sex. It's an agreement between TWO people, and if you're an asshole, few people are going to want to enter into such an agreement with you.
 
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hood LOLCOW said:
Looks like I found one of his OkC accounts: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Keplerman (https://archive.is/wr6Bo)

lolwut are those physics for real

Discussion on this guy on tickld, of all places: http://www.tickld.com/smsg/t/1222830 (https://archive.is/JgLN4). Apparently Lucas posted this according to one of the commenters:

rates fedoras

And he also have a quickmeme profile. QUICK. MEME. http://www.quickmeme.com/user/olympiaatheist (https://archive.is/HbrMG)
Click to expand...

Gato da Vida said:
Ok, so I ran into something a bit interesting. I decided to look up a bit of what he said on his OkC profile ("I'd like to replicate an experiment done 13 years ago at Princeton") by checking some of the keywords he used. Looking up "cesium vapor propagation" brought me to this website, where they describe a supposed experiment that sounds exactly like what he's proposing.

The site itself seems weird and pseudosciency (don't know enough about physics to say one way or the other), and I had trouble finding a more reputable source talking about this supposed experiment, but that's not the point. The point is that Lucas Werner's supposed discovery of "how to build a working FTL communicator" is less like "I discovered it" and more like "I found it on Google."

Apparently to him, socialism means taking the what other people did and claiming it was his all along.
Click to expand...

Great finds, you guys! Will update front page later today.
 
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