Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Are his disgusting dishes connected to his autism? Even in my most stoned or drunk times as a teenager I wouldn't I have ever thought of any of the shit he cooks.
Wouldn't be surprised if its a result of all of his mental problems. I don't think his sense of taste and smell work normally at all. The fact he douses everything in pepper, drinks peanut sauce, tries to make weird sprite sauces, microwaves cheesy cukes, eats shit tier flying fish caviar from the bargain bin, covers it with pepper and then claims it 'tastes like salmon' (it doesn't, it really doesn't) implies all kinds of sensory problems

I'm surprised nobody tried fucking with him by claiming his roommate is gay and that by cooking up this pot roast meal he's being a very considerate house husband to him and showing he is interested in his roommate and trying to set a good example

Lucas would wig right the fuck out at that i'm sure
 
Are his disgusting dishes connected to his autism? Even in my most stoned or drunk times as a teenager I wouldn't I have ever thought of any of the shit he cooks.
I mean .. I dunno about his cook time/temp, but that's a basic Pot Roast he's cooking ( although usually done in a crocknpot/slow cooker
 
15 minutes, can't wait!

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Mississippi pot roast
the butter is meant to mellow the long duration low and slow pot roast and add fat to a tougher cut of meat when you lack cauling to do a wrap or you have a salt pork haunch or something. this is also done with some game animals like moose which can be too lean and will tend to burn without oil or something. it is the opposing technique to adding flour to fatty cuts of meat for stewing/crock pot. what he's doing is throwing random shit together and adding heat which is "cooking" in a technical sense. you generally do not do this sort of thing in an oven unless it's a dutch oven and even then, it's not a high temperature dish. cooking fats/oils in a convection oven without care is a good way to start a fire.
 
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Maybe his current apartment shouldn't have any sharp knives either - glad the wranglers dropped off a soup spoon this time
i think it's more telling that he completely glosses over that apartments generally don't come with personal appliances or cutlery - those are almost always owned directly by the tenant outside of long duration hotels or furnished rental properties. thinking that a soup spoon or ladle comes with the apartment is peak Lucas.
 
the butter is meant to mellow the long duration low and slow pot roast and add fat to a tougher cut of meat when you lack cauling to do a wrap or you have a salt pork haunch or something. this is also done with some game animals like moose which can be too lean and will tend to burn without oil or something. it is the opposing technique to adding flour to fatty cuts of meat for stewing/crock pot. what he's doing is throwing random shit together and adding heat which is "cooking" in a technical sense. you generally do not do this sort of thing in an oven unless it's a dutch oven and even then, it's not a high temperature dish. cooking fats/oils in a convection oven without care is a good way to start a fire.
Moose aren't lean, they're pretty well loaded with fat. You're likely thinking of elk. That aside, butters not what you're supposed to use in situations like that, it has too low of a boiling point and will spit, burn and potentially start a fire in your oven. Its one of the fats you're explicitly not supposed to use in oven cooking for that very reason. Pork fat in some form is the usual go to for such situations

Maybe his current apartment shouldn't have any sharp knives either - glad the wranglers dropped off a soup spoon this time
Says alot that his previous place didn't allow sharp knives. Which is what he's really saying there. The rest was excluded because they didn't provide them and he never bought them. No apartment building, even for speds is going to try to stop being from having a soup spoon or a ladle. But all of them usually have restrictions against having things that can be used as a weapon. He clearly didn't realize he just outed his former housing manager as not trusting anyone in the building, including him, with a knife.

That said..... I hope its just the way he worded things but it sounds an awful lot like he's talking about chopping up the ingredients for a seafood soup with with a blender....

I'm going to just come out and say this - doubly so because everybody knows lucas reads these posts, but lucas should not be allowed to do that under any circumstances whatsoever. In fact he shouldn't be allowed around seafood if he's the one cooking it, let alone for other people. Lucas does not understand even the very basics of food safety or sanitation, pisses in sinks, doesn't bathe regularly or wash his hands before he handles food. He also doesn't clean things properly. So here is what will happen if he really does go through with chopping up the ingredients for a seafood soup in the blender:

Lucas will cut up seafood in the blender, will not put in the time or effort to take it apart and clean it properly and will put it back into storage without doing so. Either he or his roommate will then use it again in the future to cut something else up. Then anyone who eats anything made in said blender will get violently ill and could very well end up in the hospital, from seafood poisoning and salmonella. At which point lucas will either be kicked out or placed under mandatory supervision and restricted in what he's allowed access to, lest someone get sick again and sue mallon place over it

This is a dumb as rocks hobo who despite being told repeatedly that cross contaminating vegetables with raw chicken was dangerous and was going to make him sick, ignored it and claimed he knows what he's doing and it was fine because he was cooking it for 'a long time' despite the fact it was at a temperature low enough that it would not kill any salmonella bacteria, a fact that was also explained to him multiple times. Doing that with chicken is playing russian roulette with food poisoning, you might get lucky and get away with doing something stupid once or twice. But seafood? You fuck with that and you will get sick. So sick you'll wish you were dead for a few days. One bad oyster at an all you can eat place (yeah I know, stupid move on my part) alone put me on the bathroom floor for nearly a week, and thats coming from someone who did gym classes with temps of 104 and ran laps for a week with a fractured spine

dirtydeanna96 said:
$100 on one meal?

it's the fourth day of the month.
Lucas will starve, this will be hilarious.
He mentioned it was $100 spent on meat specifically. I don't think it was just that roast. Probably 3 or 4 pieces of meat he bought because they were expensive so he thinks that means they're good and make him look classy and give him some kind of bragging rights to show off that he's totally not like the other low brow hobos confined to the shelter and street. He blew most of his EBT though most likely. So I wouldn't be surprised to hear alot of ebegging in the next week or two. He probably thinks it was fine to do that because his $20 for unblocks is totally going to start working any day now and he'll be swimming in cash
 
$100 on one meal?

it's the fourth day of the month.
Lucas will starve, this will be hilarious.
Yep, old Tubby had to get out and blow his food stamps since he got his "first of the month" check. I guess he has room to keep all this stuff in this apartment. He mentioned putting meat in the freezer.

He really does think he is a gourmet chef. The pot roast isn't a bad idea, carrots and potatoes are a standard recipe. But the way he is cooking it in the oven, it probably will not turn out well.
 
$100 on one meal?

it's the fourth day of the month.
Lucas will starve, this will be hilarious.
He mentioned it was $100 spent on meat specifically. I don't think it was just that roast. Probably 3 or 4 pieces of meat he bought because they were expensive so he thinks that means they're good and make him look classy and give him some kind of bragging rights to show off that he's totally not like the other low brow hobos confined to the shelter and street. He blew most of his EBT though most likely. So I wouldn't be surprised to hear alot of ebegging in the next week or two. He probably thinks it was fine to do that because his $20 for unblocks is totally going to start working any day now and he'll be swimming in cash
In the video I think he said the roast was around 5 pounds. I don't know why anybody would cook 5 pounds of meat for themselves, but whatever. That roast and vegetables could easily feed a person for several days. That 20 pounds of meat could last him all month if he portions it correctly.

This is the Wern though. I'm sure that by tomorrow that roast will be nothing more than a faint smell in the kitchen and a fat turd in the septic tank.
 
Looks like Lucas had a big outing yesterday and took the bus (or walked, but I doubt that) on down to Sonnenbergs market. This is what he bought:

Mini Beef Box
5 lb. Beef Roasts
5 lb. Beef Steaks
5 lb. Lean Ground Beef
2 lb. Stew Meat
2 lb. Cube Steaks
(Approx. 19 Pounds)
$99.99

We are in for a horrifying treat for the next few weeks of cooking bullshit with Lucas.
 
Looks like Lucas had a big outing yesterday and took the bus (or walked, but I doubt that) on down to Sonnenbergs market. This is what he bought:

Mini Beef Box
5 lb. Beef Roasts
5 lb. Beef Steaks
5 lb. Lean Ground Beef
2 lb. Stew Meat
2 lb. Cube Steaks
(Approx. 19 Pounds)
$99.99

We are in for a horrifying treat for the next few weeks of cooking bullshit with Lucas.
How long til he makes a post inviting any gen z babes who like steak to come by his fartbox to sample his culinary skills?
He will load up on beef daily and after it's all gone he will ree for GrubHub.
 
Looks like Lucas had a big outing yesterday and took the bus (or walked, but I doubt that) on down to Sonnenbergs market. This is what he bought:

Mini Beef Box
5 lb. Beef Roasts
5 lb. Beef Steaks
5 lb. Lean Ground Beef
2 lb. Stew Meat
2 lb. Cube Steaks
(Approx. 19 Pounds)
$99.99

We are in for a horrifying treat for the next few weeks of cooking bullshit with Lucas.
We can add 'affordable shopping for food' to the list of things lucas doesn't understand then. He got ripped off. First, he's on a pretty small budget so buying pork would be a smarter thing to do. Or chicken for that matter. Buying stew meat and cube steaks is a ripoff in itself, as they're just the shitty parts of whatever is left or the tougher meat nobody wants to buy as anything else. Stores stuff them into those boxes because they're cheaper to produce and it lets them up the price. So theres 4lb he wasted right there. For that same $100 he could have bought alot more chicken thighs, pork chops or roasts (lots of places have those dirt cheap this time of year, got a big one for $6 the other day) and turkeys as well. a $20 turkey could have provided a weeks worth of food or more if used properly. Meat for a meal and sandwiches, stuffing, using the carcass to make a turkey soup that could be frozen and saved for when he needed it. Hell, he could have bought lots of kidneys and livers at a very low price and maybe a couple pounds of bacon and had liver and bacon quite a few times if he portioned it right. Plenty of places you can get a large package for $2

That said, i'm surprised lucas do what single mothers do alot here - buy large precooked chickens for $12 and just make sandwiches for a few days. Then again its lucas, he'd eat the entire thing in an hour and then beg for grubhub

But yeah, point is he did exactly what he shouldn't have done - bought some overpriced, shitty box of meat when he could have just been smart about it and got alot more food for what he spent. Its also interesting he just spent that much on meat. Does he even have anything to go with it? He should have at least bought a big bag of rice and maybe some dry beans or lentils. Its not the best meal but that would keep him going for the month, especially if he just sliced up a bit of meat into it and used it sparingly. But of course, this is lucas. He probably feels such meals are beneath a hobo of his stature. Can't yeet a bae on rice and beans or satisfy the werns greed and narcissism showing that off
 
This picture is from ~2018 but its my all-time favorite Wern photo. I count 12 blocks of cheese on top of the gallon bucket of cheese balls. The latest grocery haul seems relatively normal, I can't wait to see how he desecrates 20 pounds of meat

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Thats more cheese than my entire family combined eats in two years. You just know he ran through that in a month or less and dumped cheese on everything. and that cheese was just for him. No fucking wonder he's so obese. He was doing literally what the current leader of north korea did only with shit tier cheese. Look how that ended for the dear leader - he ended up in the hospital over it

His cart looks like something a child would toss in it. All greasy, fattening comfort food loaded with obscene amounts of cheese. He clearly eats his feelings like a depressed middle aged fat woman. The only thing missing are tubs of haagen daz

You have to wonder what the cashier at the checkout is thinking when she sees lucas dump a dozen bars of cheese in front of her and nothing else except burrito ingredients and cheese balls. I mean really. who buys that much cheese AND cheese balls? Thats showing legit gluttonous obsession with cheese

and of course he thinks this isn't just a perfectly normal thing to do, but he takes pride in it and shows it off, not realizing it makes him look like he has the mentality and mental capacity of a young child. The only thing that would cement that fact more is if he happened to do his shopping wearing his famous ninja turtles shirt and batman pantaloons. That would really tie the whole thing together

He is utterly repulsive
 
I cannot see those cheese balls and not instantly think shit bag. On my niece's first birthday, her grandparents on her mom's side, got her that. She had only been teething for a few months. And they felt that was the best present and the only present she needed. Those grandparents have serious meth issues, both consuming and selling it, and funnily enough related to someone the freak compared himself to nonstop for a while. Power level over/. Who the fuck buys 72 slices of American cheese. Just like Phil, Lucas is addicted to shitty cheese. But he hasn't posted a ridiculous amount of pictures of himself at some random store holding cheese.
 
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